WHOSE CHILD?

by Susan Gable

  "What's that?"

  "EKG." He slipped his stethoscope into the pocket of his lab coat.

  Sue Ann poked her head around the privacy curtain. "Doc? Your sister is on the phone. She sounds really upset. It's your nephew again."

  Kegan sighed. "If you need me," he said to Martha, though his gaze included Lexie, "I can be back here in about ten seconds."

  "If that's meant to reassure me," Lexie said, "you just scared the stuffing out of me."

  "I'm sure it's nothing major, Lexie. Try to relax." He followed Sue Ann.

  Martha produced a gown and helped her remove her shirt and bra. After "gluing" some patches onto her chest, Martha hooked up the machine. "Okay, Lexie, now just lie back and relax."

  Soft footsteps on the tile floor announced Kegan's return. "We're good here now, Martha. Would you please go tell Mr. Santos that I'll be in to check on him as soon as I can?"

  "Sure." Martha's sneakers barely made a sound as she left the emergency area.

  "Everything looks good right now, Lexie," Kegan told her. "Why don't you tell me more about that phone call you had earlier. Who was on the phone?"

  "David."

  "He's out of town, isn't he? Took Sarah off for some sort of daddy-daughter bonding adventure?"

  Lexie opened her eyes, blinked against the fluorescent lights. "How did you—never mind. I should know better than to think anything's a secret in this town."

  "There are more secrets in this town than you think. Your biggest secret is still safe, I promise."

  Lexie coughed hard as her heart fluttered again.

  "Okay, saw that," Kegan said, glancing at the readings. "You're not skipping, you're getting in extra beats. So, did David's call upset you?"

  She called me Daddy, Lex. "No. Not really."

  Kegan studied the machine for a minute, then looked back at her. "That's not what this says. This says it did. Makes a pretty good lie detector at times. But despite that little stress-induced flutter, your heart seems fine, lungs sound clear. How have you been sleeping?" He disconnected the wire leads running to the sticky patches.

  Lexie sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the table. "Not too great."

  "For how long?"

  "Since David came to town. Most nights I get some sleep, but not enough. Last night I didn't sleep at all."

  "Because?"

  "Because without Sarah there, the house is so empty," she whispered. "I'm so empty." She blinked rapidly, not because of the brightness. This time it was the darkness that hurt. Darkness inside her. The bleak outlook of her future.

  Kegan sat on a wheeled stool and patted her knee. "Lex. I'm so sorry. You seem to get along well. Is there any chance the two of you could … I don't know, share custody of her?"

  "He asked me to marry him."

  "Really? Congratulations, that's wonderful news."

  "I said no."

  "What?" The chair squeaked as Kegan scooted backward an inch. "Why?"

  "He doesn't love me. What kind of marriage would that be?"

  "Good grief, Lexie, no wonder you're not sleeping, and you're having anxiety attacks. You've got yourself all twisted into knots, don't you?"

  She nodded. "I suppose so."

  "And have you been dealing with the lack of sleep by dosing yourself with extra caffeine?"

  "Yes. I've had a lot more coffee than I usually do."

  "That'll do it. Ectopic beats are usually caused by caffeine, anxiety, fatigue and stress. And right now, I'd say you've got all those things going on.

  "I'm going to give you some medication that should let you get a good night's rest. Stay off the caffeine. If the extra sleep doesn't help with the breathing and heart fluttering, come back, we'll try something else to take the edge off."

  Kegan picked up her chart, tore a piece of blank paper from the back. He drew a line down the center of it, placing a plus in the right column and a minus in the left. "Now, for the stress and anxiety… As your friend, and the guy who delivered Sarah and who's watched you be a wonderful mother to her, let me see if I can't help you think this through a little more. What are the pluses to marrying Sarah's father?"

  "Sarah. She's the big one."

  "What else? Has to be something else."

  "He's a good man," Lexie whispered. "He's been sweet to me all my life."

  "Okay." Kegan jotted that down, then handed her the chart. "I'm going to get some medication samples for you. Just toss those patches into the garbage can over there once you get them all off. Get dressed. Then work on the T-chart. I've used the same thing to help me make decisions in the past. Maybe it will clarify things for you."

  Early that afternoon, Lexie stared down at the paper on her nightstand. She'd added more items to the plus column:

  He's handsome

  Sarah would have two parents

  Good chemistry between us/great in bed

  Strong character

  Smart

  Sarah wouldn't have to go to day care

  Financial benefits

  I love him

  I love Sarah and feel lost without her

  In the minus column, there were only two items:

  He doesn't love me

  Pappy needs me

  So, did the list mean she should marry him? Because the pluses far outweighed the minuses? Maybe she just needed to think a little harder. He had faults. Heck, he was a man, right? Maybe she should add that to the minus side. Although … there were times when being a man was a very good thing. Her body warmed with the memory of their night spent together in his bed. She already had that one listed in the pluses. Could something be both?

  More minuses: stubborn, pigheaded … that probably only counted as one since they were synonyms. She ran her index finger down the paper. What was she thinking? This was how David would make an important decision, with his head, not his heart. She crumpled up the paper, tossing it toward the small waste can in the corner. It hit the edge and bounced to the floor.

  She'd followed her heart when it had told her to run to protect Sarah. If she'd made a logical chart like this, listing all the minuses of running away, she'd have stayed.

  Lexie sighed. Obviously there was still more dreamer in her than she wanted to admit. She'd trust her heart when it came to Sarah and David. Now she just needed to know what it had to say.

  The whine of an engine signaled a vehicle easing into the driveway. Lexie rose from the bed to peer out the side window. Two men climbed from a rust-spotted, green Volkswagen van. Each collected a small suitcase from the sliding side door. Great. Guests. Just what she was in the mood for right now.

  Sarah giggled. David grabbed her foot tighter. "Stop squirming. I'm almost done." He dabbed the brush on her little toe. "There. What do you think?" A few telltale smudges surrounded some of the nails. He scraped at them with his finger.

  Propped up on pillows against the headboard, she glanced down at her toes. "Good. It really glows in the dark?"

  "I don't know. Should we find out?" He rose from the end of the motel bed, then flicked off the light switch by the door.

  Twenty faint dots of green danced on the far bed. "Cool!" Sarah waved her hands. "Lookit!"

  David chuckled. "I can see it." He flipped the lights back on, causing Sarah to whine in protest. "No, now you've got to get ready for bed so we can watch our movie. Go brush your teeth." She'd changed into her pajamas before their "nail session" or whatever you called it. And she'd even let him help her straighten out the top.

  Would wonders never cease?

  A few minutes later they both lay propped on Sarah's bed, an animated movie on the television. She rolled onto her side, using his chest as a pillow. Afraid to startle her, he took shallow breaths. Tentatively, he stroked her soft curls.

  "Daddy?"

  He closed his eyes and smiled. If he lived to be the oldest man on the planet, he'd never get tired of hearing her say that. "Yeah, sport?"

  "I had fun today. Not with the police," she quickly clar
ified. "But shopping with you."

  "Me, too. We've still got to find your coat. The waitress at dinner told me about some other stores. We'll try those tomorrow, okay?"

  Just the low hum of the cartoon came from the TV. Sarah's back rose and fell evenly beneath his hand. David picked up the remote and turned off the TV. The light faded slowly from the set, the only illumination coming from the bathroom—Sarah insisted it stay on all night long.

  Loath to leave the warmth of his child snuggled against his side, David lay there for a long time. This was perfect.

  And yet, a small bit of … loneliness? … prodded him. Lexie.

  Perfect would be Lexie snuggled up against his left side.

  A whole family. A real family.

  The child shifted, sighing in her sleep. "Momma," she murmured.

  David rubbed light circles on Sarah's back. "Shh. We'll see her tomorrow."

  The thought was like a blast of sunshine in mid-February. Well, I'll be damned. He actually missed Lexie, too.

  Gripping the portable phone in her hand, Lexie paced the width of her bedroom, the wooden floorboards cool beneath her bare feet. She eased onto the rug beside the bed. The numbers on the clock blinked to 10:36. She'd been staring at the thing for well over two hours. Her fingers tightened around the hard plastic in her hand. Obviously they weren't going to call her tonight. By this time Sarah was generally sound asleep.

  She sighed. It was the first time in Sarah's life she hadn't wished the little one good-night.

  Lexie rubbed her knuckles over her eyes. She set the phone down and picked up the little pill Kegan had given her. In the bathroom, she chugged some water. The little white pill went down easily. Back in her room, the emptiness from next door—and inside her—wasn't as easy to deal with. She pulled on a long-sleeved satin nightshirt lined with flannel—perfect for fall Montana nights. She fingered the bottom of a sleeve, picturing Sarah's tiny fingers doing the same.

  Sarah loved the smooth fabric. As a baby, she'd clung to a yellow blanket that was trimmed with satin. She'd stroke it whenever she was falling asleep. Though Sarah had given up on "blankie" a few months ago, it was folded and tucked away in the bottom of Lexie's dresser.

  Lexie crept into Sarah's room and clicked on the night-light. She settled on the edge of the bed, brushing her fingers over the gingham bedspread. On the seam, she found the stitches she'd painstakingly put in to repair the damage that had been in the pretty spread when Sarah found it at a yard sale.

  Lexie eased herself down, inhaling Sarah's scent from the pillowcase.

  Sugar and spice and everything nice…

  That's what little girls were supposedly made of.

  Everything nice—hugs and kisses and laughter—sometimes tears—and rainbows and sunshine and love…

  Sarah was all that.

  Lexie's eyes slid shut, closing out the green glow from the Emerald City light. Life without Sarah meant losing all those wonderful things. Until David had taken Sarah away on this shopping trip, Lexie hadn't realized how big the empty space would be without the little girl in her life.

  Marry David. Keep Sarah.

  As sleep crawled in like fog around the edges of her brain, those were her last conscious thoughts.

  The warmth of keeping Sarah stayed with her, giving her an overwhelming sense of peace.

  Her heart had spoken.

  Cotton filled Lexie's mouth, and her head felt like the Scarecrow's—full of straw. She forced open her eyes, groaning when the bright sunlight hit. She blinked, then glanced around the room, slightly off balance.

  The Yellow Brick Road

  . Gingham bedspread. She'd fallen asleep in Sarah's room.

  Bright sunlight? Kegan's wonder pill had done a number on her. She stumbled from the room and headed for a quick, cold shower. Maybe the new guests were late risers.

  When she cautiously made her way down the back stairs, she found Pappy on his way out the door. "Took care of breakfast for them young fellers, don't worry about it."

  "You did? What did you feed them?"

  "Hotcakes and sausage. They loved it." He thumped his chest. "I'm not useless yet, you know. I was baching it here for a few years before you showed up."

  Lexie skated across the kitchen floor in her socks, then wrapped her arms around him, catching the faint whiff of his tobacco on his worn coat. "Of course you're not useless. Thank you." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

  He scoffed, shaking his head, as though he didn't enjoy it when she fussed over him. "You look like hell, Missy. Didn't you take that stuff Doc gave you?"

  "Gee, thanks. Yes, I did."

  But even after a whole night's sleep, she was dragging. She glanced longingly at the coffee machine and its half-filled glass pot.

  "Don't even think about it." Pappy wagged a finger at her. "Doc said no caffeine."

  "I'll stay clean if you will."

  His blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "I have no idea what you're talking about, gal. But git yourself something good to eat. Mitchell called. He and Sarah are coming back today."

  Marry David. Keep Sarah.

  Had she really thought that last night? Yes, she had. She couldn't live without her child. "Have fun at the diner, Pap. Tell the guys I said hello."

  "I'll do that."

  After he left, she fixed some herbal tea, trying to convince herself it would perk her up.

  What would marriage to David be like? Would he come to love her later? She sighed. Giving up on love was hard. But Sarah was worth it.

  Footsteps on the front porch mixed with the low murmur of a man's deep voice. Lexie grabbed her book from the end table and threw herself down on the leather sofa in the library. No point in looking overeager for Sarah's return. She needed to feel David out on a few things, and didn't want him having the upper hand. Or at least, didn't want him knowing he had the upper hand.

  The front door opened and Lexie rose, sauntering to the archway. "Oh."

  The two guests each with a black photography bag in hand, paused on their way to the stairs. "Hi there," said the taller of the pair. "We missed you at breakfast."

  The shorter one—Ted? Yes, that was it—frowned. "Yes. At a bed-and-breakfast it usually is customary for the hostess to be present at breakfast."

  "Don't mind him," Ryan said. "He's just miffed because everyone in town says you make the greatest baked goods in a hundred-mile radius, and he wanted some."

  "I'm very sorry. I'll make it up to you tomorrow morning with fresh cinnamon rolls. My doctor gave me some new medication and it knocked me for a loop."

  "Understandable. Even bed-and-breakfast hostesses are only human." Ryan grinned. He jerked his head back toward the front door. "Love the decorations."

  "Thanks."

  Ted scowled. "Are you just going to stand here and make time with her, or are we taking this stuff upstairs?"

  "I suppose we'll have to take this stuff upstairs." Ryan spoke to Ted, but his eyes never left Lexie. "But once we get it stashed, I'd like you to tell us more about the house, how you transformed it into the B&B, the family history, all that good info."

  Lexie nodded. "Sure. I'll be down here in the library."

  Old books and newspaper clippings spread across the coffee table several hours later. Lexie educated the two men about the town and house. The back door slammed, and Sarah's voice filled the air. "Momma!"

  Lexie jumped from the sofa. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but that's my little girl." Lexie flew down the hallway, pulling up short at the dining room, trying to compose herself. She forced herself to walk slowly into the kitchen.

  "Momma! Look at my new coat!" Sarah rushed across the room.

  Bending her knees to squat lower, Lexie opened her arms and enfolded the child. "I missed you, baby."

  "I missed you, too, Momma." Sarah wiggled from her embrace and smoothed a hand down the front of a purple coat. "Look. And see?" She stroked white fake fur that surrounded the hood, which she had pulled up over her head.r />
  "It's beautiful, baby. But is it really that cold out?"

  The back door had opened again, and David, arms overloaded with shopping bags, trudged in. He dumped his burdens next to another set of boxes and bags already on the table. "No, it's not that cold yet. But she wanted to wear it like that. That coat was hell to find, let me tell you."

  "Daddy," Sarah admonished. "Don't swear."

  Lexie rocked back on her heels. Although David had mentioned Sarah calling him Daddy during the police incident, she hadn't realized that meant the child had taken to doing it all the time. And hearing it for herself… "Geez, did you guys leave anything for the other shoppers?"

  Sarah giggled. "Of course, Momma. We got stuff for you, too. And—" she turned to glance at David and lowered her voice "—Daddy got a special surprise."

  "He did, huh?" Lexie rose and went to the table, looking over some of the labels on the shopping bags. Sure enough, not one of them looked as if it came from a thrift store.

  "You didn't have to get me anything," she said to him.

  He grinned, and her stomach got all squishy. Those dimples should have been registered with the FBI. "Yeah, we did."

  "So, where's the special surprise?"

  "You have to close your eyes," David told her.

  "And promise to say yes, Momma. Please?" Sarah clutched her hands together, begging.

  "Uh-oh. I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

  "Stop worrying, Lex. It's something every kid should have. Something I always said my kid would have." David waved his hands at her. "Now, close your eyes and I'll be right back."

  She sighed. "All right." She closed her eyes as the back door heralded his departure. Something every kid should have and he'd always said his kid would?

  Two parents? Had he gotten her a ring in the hopes of persuading her to marry him?

  "Remember, say yes, Momma," Sarah whispered.

  A fresh blast of cool air, along with another house-rocking slam of the door announced his return. "Okay, Lex, put your hands together and hold them out in front of you. Don't drop it."

  Excitement thrummed through her. Okay, so maybe he didn't love her, but maybe there was a little romance in him, surprising her with a ring. And if he asked her again, before she told him she'd decided to go ahead and marry him, then that put her in the top position, and maybe he'd be willing…