Somebody's Chelsi: Book 5 The Wakefield Romance Series

by Hewitt, Theresa Marguerite

  “Damn it,” I grunt to myself and punch the side of my Jeep parked nearby. Fuck. Lenny shouldn’t have died. He was just watching my six. We were under heavy fire, pinned down in a shithole torture shack that was reeking of death and torment. Our Team had come too late and two government agents had already been electrocuted and Lord only knows what else before their throats were cut ear to ear. We were trying to secure a perimeter reinforcements arrived, opening fire on us. If Lenny hadn’t hip checked me that bullet would have struck me in the back.

  The loud, unmistakable rumble of a Harley engine breaks me from my cursing flashback and I realize I’m drenched in sweat when Jude pulls up on the grass at the far edge of the garage. Trying to shake off the feeling of having Lenny’s blood on my hands, I wipe them on my thighs and get knocked to one knee by my dog, Daisy.

  “Hey, ol’ girl. Did ya miss me?” I scratch her behind the ears as her big body leans into me. She’s slobbering all over me, as St. Bernard’s are good at it, and I stay on one knee, noticing Chelsi walking out to greet Jude. She hugs him and he lifts her off the ground, twirling her, which I’m not going to lie, makes my clench in the grass. I know they are friends, but damn, some things you can’t control the way it makes you feel.

  Still unseen, I watch Chelsi slip Jude some money and in return Jude sticks a small clear baggie of something in her front pocket. “What the hell?” I say under my breath as they walk out of sight toward the backyard. Listen, I have old buddies who smoke some weed every now and then to help calm their PTSD, and they say it helps. Hell, I know for a fact Timmons and Chief partake when the nightmares and insomnia get to a point where prescribed medication doesn’t seem to be helping. But what I just witnessed looked like pills and that I’m not a big fan of. “That better not have been what I think it was, or there is gonna be a problem.”

  ~~~~

  Chelsi

  I leave Jude in the backyard with everyone and enter the house to put the pills he delivered in my purse before they drop out of my pocket and get lost or noticed. Reaching into the canvas tote, I unzip an inside compartment and am about to drop the small baggie of ten pills in when a strong, tanned hand wraps around my wrist. I don’t need to look at him as his familiar cologne surrounds me, making the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

  “What the hell are those?” His tone is quiet but makes me recoil and I look up into his deep blue eyes. They are filled with anger and it down right frightens me. He turns my hand over and takes the baggie from my hand, his gaze falling from me to its contents.

  “Xanax.” Squeaks out and his eyes move back to mine, seemingly reaching inside me, searching and digging for an answer. “I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping lately and he said they would help.”

  “Bullshit.” He turns toward the bathroom, pulling me behind him. He could be drawing attention to this but he just quietly shuts the door behind us, his hand still gripping my wrist. “If you’re having problems or issues, you go to the doctor. You don’t buy pills from some loser. They can kill you!” He lets go of my hand, ripping the plastic open and dumping the pills in the toilet.

  Well, there goes seventy-five bucks.

  Flushing them, his gaze turns on me again, the anger still very much visible. “You don’t need that shit.”

  The way he assumes he know what I need pisses me off. “Austin, how the hell would you know what I need? You don’t know what the hell is going on with me right now!” I storm out of the bathroom, but he’s right on my heels, his presence looming behind me. I grab my purse and as he reaches out to grab my arm again I swing away from him, knocking over a stack of plastic cups in the process and they scatter all over Rhea’s hardwood floor.

  “Don’t touch me.” I pretty much hiss at him, turning on him and I feel the stare of all our friends falling on us from the backyard. “What I do is my business.” I see the hurt falling all over his angered expression, but I’m too pissed for that right now and I turn, running out of the house, straight for my car.

  As I back out of the driveway I can’t tell what made me madder. The way he assumed he knows what I need or that he flushed my key to relaxation. I’ve had too many nights up and awake in the last week. During the day I’m dragging my feet because of it. When I get to my apartment I’ll text Jude see if he can help me out in any way.

  My heart is hurting, telling me to go back and apologize for being such a bitch. I really didn’t want to act like that but my anger just took over. My brain is telling me to keep heading toward home, however, because it is running on empty. ‘F my life.” I mumble to myself, hitting the steering wheel.

  CHAPTER THREE:

  Chelsi

  It’s been a week since I stormed out of Rhea’s house and I’ve spent it dodging Rhea and Ellie coming into my store to see me, and ignored everyone’s phone calls; even Austin’s. I don’t know what to say to them. ‘Sorry I stormed out of your house, I was having a freak out because my drugs were flushed?’ Somehow I don’t think that would go over without a lecture about how I should talk to them if I’m having problems.

  Sometimes I don’t want to talk to anybody. Sometimes I just want to sit on my couch, watch television and eat an entire bag of potato chips, like I’m doing this very second. So I’ll keep my problems to myself. I’ll ignore every want and pull that comes from my heart when my phone rings with Austin’s tone.

  “God, I’m such a loser.” I grumble, flipping through the channels for the hundredth time trying to find something that isn’t a romantic comedy, super sappy romance, or nightmare inducing slasher film. I finally settle on a true crime show, something about cold cases, when my doorbell chimes. Taking a quick glance at my phone I don’t have any messages from anyone stating they are stopping by, and it’s almost nine at night, so I grab a sweatshirt and head for the front door.

  Peeking through the curtain, I spot Jude with his hands in his pockets on my doorstep. I pull the sweatshirt on over my tank and zip it up, opening the door to a cool breeze and chirping grasshoppers. “What’s up, J-man?” he grins wildly at the greeting like he does every time, and he shrugs his muscular shoulders.

  “Not too much, just on my way home from the club. Was wondering if ya needed anythin’?” Yup, I thought there was going to be an underlying reason for him dropping by unannounced. He’s probably in a tight spot and need to make some cash to pay his supplier.

  “I told you, I don’t want anything else…EVER.” I had argued with myself for hours after last week, finally coming to the realization that I need to grow up and not be so weak. I have an appointment with a therapist later this coming week.

  “Okay, okay. Can I at least come in and snag a few beers. The club was packed with jerks tonight so I barely had time to take a break like usual.” He gives me a lady-killer look and I snort in laughter at him, stepping to the side to let him in. As he walks by me I get a waft of not only his cologne, but stale beer, cigarettes and cheap perfume. A typical combination after he’s worked his bouncer shift at the strip club.

  I settle back on the couch, leaving the sweatshirt on the arm beside me, and he grabs a beer and the bowl of pretzels on the counter, joining me with a plop. This is just like many nights before, when I think he just needs someone’s company, besides that of strippers and borderline perverts, to wind down after work. There have been times when I’ve been so tired I told him that I’m turning in and he stays on my couch watching television, then letting himself out, leaving a note and some money telling me thanks for the beer and snacks or something like that.

  “So anything crazy happen tonight?” I ask, taking a few pretzels and dipping them in the jar of spicy mustard he just popped open. He laughs, drinking half of the beer in one gulp and sits back, his hands behind his head with a smile wide on his lips.

  “Saw your boy with some buddies.” This makes me choke and Jude laughs louder, slapping me on the back as I cough. “Don’t freak. He just sat there and I saw him turn down dances more than once. I did catch him starin
g at me more than once, and not a nice kind of stare. I mean the ‘I’m gonna come across this room and snap your neck’ kind of stare.”

  “Oh man…” I knew Austin wasn’t going to let it go. He’s not that type of guy. He needs to root out the problem and make sure it never affects me again. “Sorry ‘bout that, Jude. He caught me with the xannies you sold me and he flushed them. Then I freaked and as you know stormed out. I’ve been ignoring him all week.”

  “Ok, so now since I sold them to you he’s gonna kick my ass, isn’t he?” I give him a sarcastic laugh and he chugs the rest of his beer, getting another and this time flopping down half on top of me on the couch making me squeal like a little girl. “Well, he can try.” He says while bouncing up and down and I’m trying to get away, rolling down onto the floor and he falls with me, making a huge thud.

  We’re both laughing our asses off and Jude is holding his head where it struck the coffee table when my front door flies open with a crash, bouncing off the wall, making me scream in shock. Shooting up to my knees, I’m surprised to see Austin standing in the doorway, his stance exuding tension and anger.

  “Austin?!” I mutter more to myself and his eyes dart to mine before moving to Jude.

  “Get the fuck out!” He bites out, his stare never leaving Jude, watching him get to his feet and fixing his clothing.

  “Listen, man. Nothin’ was going on. We were just bein’ stupid and…”

  “I don’t give a shit!” Austin cuts him off, raising him arm and pointing through the doorway. “Get. The fuck. Out! Do it now before I throw you out, you drug dealing loser.”

  “Austin, stop it.” I try and step between them but Jude touches my arm. Looking at my friend, he’s pissed, but he knows I’d hate him if he tried to fight Austin.

  “It’s okay, Chels. We’ll hang out some other time.” He grabs his jacket, another beer and a handful of pretzels, giving me a wink before he stares Austin down when he walks out the door. I stand there, watching his silhouette disappear into the dark before the headlight on his motorcycle lights off and he roars off.

  “You didn’t have to break down my door. You could’ve knocked.” I say in a clipped tone, turning my back on him and picking up, frankly because I’m afraid to look at him. Not afraid of him, but I’m afraid that just the sight of him will make me faint. My heart is already racing, hearing him close the door only makes it beat faster.

  “Chelsi. Look at me.” His deep voice rolls across the room and finds me fixing the couch cushions even though they don’t need it and it makes my knees weak. Something inside me tells me to stand my ground so I don’t.

  “Why should I, French?” He doesn’t really like it when I call him by his last name and a sigh rumbles out. I see him rubbing the space between his eyes when I’m picking up one of the pillows.

  “God damn it, Chelsi.” He grumbles and before I can turn around, his arms are gripping my elbows and spinning me, my nose bumping into his chest. “Sit down and freaking talk to me.” He gently pushes me back and I plop down on my couch, one of the pillows still in my grasp. His cologne wafts my way and I take a deep, slow breath, closing my eyes and remembering the nights we would spend out on a blanket on the beach or in a field somewhere looking at the stars. He sits down on the edge of the coffee table, our legs intertwined, and I finally really look at him.

  His graying dirty blonde hair is disheveled like he’s been running his hands through it all night. His blue dress shirt is wrinkled and unbuttoned at the neck, very unlike the clean cut sailor. And after he rubs his hands over his face and back through his hair, confirming my suspicion, his eyes finally meet mine and I see they are blood shot and tired looking. He’s not drunk, I can tell that because he’s not singing or dancing, which he always does when inebriated. He takes another deep breath and its ragged, stressed sound makes me worry.

  “What’s wrong Austin?” I ask, leaning in and taking his hands in mine. All of the anger and petty shit is out the window. I can’t bear to see him look like this.

  ~~~~

  Austin

  My night has gone to shit. I had planned on going out with my friends with the only purpose being cornering Jude and warning him to stay away from Chelsi. I had never planned on drinking so much while pre-gaming for my buddy’s bachelor party and then seeing an old girlfriend at the bar we stopped at before the strip club. And I had definitely not planned on fucking the ex-girlfriend in the bathroom of that bar.

  Wendy was one of those uniform chasers I had the misfortune to tangle with in my younger years. I’m not saying that we didn’t have good times, because we did, but she was in it just to say she was dating a sailor. Since I had dumped her ass I had heard through the grapevine that she’s been married and divorced to three sailors and one Marine, and by the look of her bright red lipstick and dress tonight when I saw her, she’s still trying to chase the lonely and growing older generations of service men.

  I don’t know why I fucked her. It was just one of those moments in life when you ask yourself ‘why’ as you’re doing it. I can’t take it back. So after I peeled her red daggers from my neck and shirt as she tried to make me stay in that dirty bathroom for five more minutes and then come back to her apartment, I went on with my friends and totally forgot about my mission to threaten Jude. All I could think about was ‘What the hell did I just do?’ and ‘How am I going to tell Chelsi?’

  “Earth to Austin.” Her voice breaks through my thoughts and I snap out of it and notice she’s staring at me. “Are you okay?” Her green eyes are roaming over my face and I know that I look like shit. I should’ve tried to pull myself together before coming here, but I just needed to see her. Then seeing Jude’s bike out front made me so mad I couldn’t stop myself from bursting in the unlocked front door.

  “No… I gotta…I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you, Chelsi.” She nods towards the couch and I follow her, sitting on the coffee table across from her instead of beside her. I need to have her attention this whole time because I’m nervous as hell. I really don’t know how to go about this so I just start talking as she’s looking at me intently. “You know, I lost a Team member this time around.”

  “No!” She gasps, reaching out and going to grab my hand but hesitating at the last second, her fingers hovering just above mine and I snatch them, intertwining them with my own. For a moment she just looks at our joined hands and then I feel her relax, her body language telling me she’s released the tension that was between us minutes before. “Who? How? Wait…Only if you can tell me.”

  Her ever present consciousness to the nature of my job makes me smile and it feels good compared to the mood I’ve been in for the last week. Being a leader and losing one of your guys takes away a piece of you and the rest of the guys on your Team, leaving behind this void that even though you get a new member within weeks or months, it’s never really filled.

  “Well, it was Lenny.”

  “Oh no, guitar Lenny? Oh, man, he was a funny guy. I’m so sorry Austin.” Her fingers squeeze mine and take my free hand and scrub my face, running it back through my hair. I can’t help but sigh in aggravation at the flash in my memory at what happened that night and I know she can tell when both of her hands come up and grab my face, bringing my stare to hers.

  “It’s not your fault, if that’s what you’re thinking. Don’t blame yourself.” She whispers only inches from my lips, but it only makes me bristle. It’s the same thing I’ve heard over and over again, that every person in my kind of line of work hears when someone dies, and it does nothing to take the sting away. I pull her hands from my face and cradle them in my lap.

  “Yeah, that’s what everyone says. We were together and got pinned down, he ended up taking one in the chest.” Chelsi goes to say something but I stop her. “You know, he gave me some good advice before the chopper took him away. He told me to live life. And that’s what I’m here to do.” There has always been something between us, ever since I spotted her sitting at the bar alon
e, but there is also something stopping her from getting close too involved. I know it’s the memory of her husband, I’m not dumb, but I’m hoping she can see what I feel for her is real and want to take this step with me.

  “I don’t understand.” She shakes her head, her hands still enclosed in mine.

  “I want us to be…together.” It’s the only way I can think to put it and I let out a heavy sigh, watching her eyes scan my face and then fall to our joined hands. My heart is thundering through my chest as if I’m on a high stakes mission and the silence between us stretches grows. It’s like she’s studying the sight of our fingers, her gaze not coming back up to mine until I squeeze slightly. I can’t help but nervously smile but it’s not returned. She’s undoes my normally put together emotions and thoughts. She turns me upside down with just the bat of her eyelashes.

  “Austin, you know that I care about you.” She’s shaking her head and I see the tears starting to well in her eyes.

  “But? There’s always a ‘but’ when someone says that. I know, I’ve heard it a lot in my life.” Taking my hands from hers I stand and turn away from her, trying to keep the feeling of failure and rejection from building but they rear their ugly heads anyways and my fists ball and flex in reaction. I’ve never been a fan of failure, or rejection for that matter.

  “I can’t.” she whispers and I hear that she’s trying to fight the tears, her voice wavering and shaking. Turning, I spot the stream running down her cheeks and her reddened eyes meet mine. “I can’t.” she says again, sniffling.