A SEAL's Song

by Lowery, Jennifer

  One of her legs crooked over his. A tiny smile played on her lips. The closer he got to her the more he wanted to know. Silly things like her favorite food, and did she always paint her toenails to match her fingernails?

  Jack ran a hand down his face, feeling the scratch of stubble. Had he actually made love to Darci with this bristle? He must have abraded her soft skin. Damn, he hadn’t meant for that to happen. Why hadn’t she complained or made him shave? He knew why, because Darci hadn’t complained once during this whole ordeal. He doubted she ever would. Not her style—only one of the things he liked about her.

  One of the things. Hell, there were too many things he liked about this woman. Too many for his comfort.

  The woman he’d really begun to like sighed softly in her sleep and snuggled closer. Jack readjusted his position to make her more comfortable and caught himself pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. Ah, damn, he was in trouble here. The kind of trouble a man like him couldn’t afford. Not in his line of work.

  Many on the teams had done the marriage thing and many had ended up divorced. The odds were against them. Darci deserved more than what he could give her. A lifetime of loneliness, wondering where he was, when he’d be home. Being left in the dark about what he did while away. Not a life fit for a woman who deserved a man who could give her everything she’d ever want or need. He wasn’t that man.

  Jack closed his eyes. The fact that he even thought about things like this scared him. Give him a terrorist with an AK-47 and he’d know exactly what to do, but put him up against his feelings for Darci and he was clueless. He didn’t want to feel whatever he felt, easier to put it that way instead of saying the L word.

  He wasn’t his father, but part of him had always wondered if someday he too would turn into a manipulative, overbearing sonofabitch like his old man. According to his mother, James Taggart has been charming and debonair when they met in college, but the stress of working his way up the corporate ladder and starting a family too soon changed him. Jack didn’t remember his father as being anything but a volcano, simmering all the time and always on the verge of blowing. And when he blew, you got the hell out of Dodge.

  Not a violent man, his father had never used his fists. He’d used his words to inflict pain and after so many years of the abuse, his mother had thrown in the towel. A day Jack would never forget. His father hadn’t tried to stop them, simply sat in his chair and stared at the wall as his wife and son walked out the door.

  To Jack it had made his father a weak man. What kind of man would let his family walk out without a fight? It only proved that James Taggart hadn’t cared about his wife or son. Jack didn’t want to end up like that. He never saw his father again, but knew he still worked for the same law firm and had made partner a few years ago. That was the extent of what Jack knew about his father post-divorce and he had never sought out a relationship with him. He was content to keep things the way they were.

  And it had been a long time since he’d thought about his father. Now seemed an unusual time to be thinking about the past and it had everything to do with the woman sleeping soundly in his arms. A woman he hesitated to distance himself from. But it was necessary for both their sakes.

  Thunder boomed, followed by a flash of lightning. Darci jumped in her sleep. Jack stretched out next to her, wrapping her in his arms. For tonight, he would stay right here. Tomorrow he would separate himself from her and try not to wonder why the thought made his chest ache.

  ****

  He’d left her alone again. In bed, anyway. Darci sat up in the empty bed and wrapped the sheet around her. Wind whistled through the crack in the balcony doors, the sky almost black.

  She heard the shower running. She tried not to think about the fact that she’d woken up alone both times after she and Jack had made love. It would be easy to read too much into it and she didn’t usually speculate. She liked cold, hard facts. Life was too short for beating around the bush. So why not push through the door right this minute and demand to know why Jack refused to stay with her?

  With a sigh, she answered her own question. She stayed put because she knew as well as he did that this thing between them couldn’t last forever. She was a singer, she traveled all the time and spent the rest of it in the studio. And when she wasn’t doing that, she played pubs and wrote songs. She didn’t have time for a relationship. Besides that, Jack lived on the opposite coast, and long distance relationships never worked.

  So why did she wish they did? Her heart answered, because you fell in love with him.

  “Oh, boy.” Darci swung her feet over the edge of the bed. Not good. She couldn’t be in love. She didn’t want to be in love. She still had places to go and things to do. Being strapped down to a relationship wasn’t part of the deal.

  The bathroom door opened and Jack came out wearing a pair of shorts and a loose, unbuttoned shirt he’d picked up in the market. Darci felt a stab of desire at the sight of his bare chest.

  But she didn’t give in to the craving. Instead she looked away, knowing it was for the best but feeling the disappointment clear to her toes. Jack deserved someone who would be content to stay home and play housewife. Someone who knew how to cook and bake cookies instead of a woman who still suffered a bit of wanderlust and didn’t plan to settle down any time soon. Jack deserved more than what she could give him, so she rose from the bed, taking the sheet with her.

  “My turn.” She brushed past him without meeting his eyes. She wasn’t normally a coward, but she feared he would read the truth. She couldn’t face that right now.

  After she closed the door, she leaned against it and squeezed her eyes shut. This was what she wanted, what Jack deserved. Why did her heart feel broken in two?

  Chapter Ten

  Jack heard the bathroom door close quietly, and rubbed a hand down his face. So Darci wasn’t good with the morning after either. He’d seen the look on her face and knew what he would have read in her eyes if she had looked at him: regret. It didn’t settle well, but what could he do? If they distanced themselves from each other right now, walking away would be a piece of cake.

  Yeah, and he’d been born yesterday.

  Not wanting to think about it, he walked over to the television and turned it on to the Weather Channel. What he saw there didn’t make him happy and made the whole distance thing virtually impossible.

  He picked up the phone and called down to the front desk to make arrangements to keep the room for a few more days. They weren’t going anywhere. Until then he’d keep things light and easy, pretend last night had never happened. For Darci’s sake. If she had regrets, then he was just the one to put them out of her mind.

  ****

  Darci walked out of the bathroom into the empty room. She hadn’t heard Jack leave, but that didn’t surprise her. The man moved around on clouds.

  She dressed in shorts and tank top from the market, pulled her hair back into a clip and decided to wait for Jack to return. As she lounged in one of the big chairs in the corner where the storm didn’t seem so loud, she pondered how to hide her feelings from him. She didn’t want him to know she’d fallen in love with him, since it could never be.

  Maybe she would write a song. Making love to him had opened up creative channels and her fingers were itching for a notebook and pen. It would be a song about two lovers tossed together by fate, they could never be one, and how they would spend their days trying to fill that void.

  Leaping up, Darci went back inside, found a small pad of paper with the hotel logo and a pen in the desk drawer and returned to the chair. She began scribbling down the words to the song bouncing around in her head when Jack returned.

  When a hand landed on her shoulder she jumped, tossed her pen and dropped the pad of paper. Her hand flew to her chest. “Jack. I’m going to put bells on your shoes.”

  Jack grinned down at her. “Didn’t mean to scare you. I have breakfast.”

  “Is that coffee I smell?”

  “It is. I also
brought coconut bread, bagels, cream cheese and eggs and toast, with peanut butter on the side. Come on, let’s eat, then we can talk about the weather.”

  The weather? Darci frowned as she followed Jack inside the room. He was back to his old self and pretending nothing had happened. She didn’t want to talk about the weather. She wanted to clear the air. Unless…

  She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Jack’s back. Unless in his eyes nothing had happened and last night meant nothing to him.

  What a fool. Here she was writing songs and having delusions of love while Jack thought about breakfast and the weather. He obviously didn’t share her feelings. Last night had been good, but not good enough.

  But wasn’t this what she’d wanted? For them to go their separate ways? Yes, but not like this. As a dreamer, she’d expected something along the lines of mutual vows of love and understanding that it could never work out between them. That they would always cherish what they’d shared but accepted they could never be together.

  Jack wasn’t going to proclaim his love for her, not now and not ever. She’d made the first move, she’d thrown herself at him and he’d done what any red-blooded male would do, taking what was offered. How could she have fallen so hard and fast for a man she hardly knew anyway?

  Burying her hurt and anger, she took Jack’s cue and pretended everything was back to the way it had been before the mind-blowing sex, and accepted a cup of coffee. Jack sat on the bed and opened up the containers of food. Darci settled for a piece of toast with peanut butter and forced herself to eat it even when she didn’t feel hungry. She didn’t want Jack to know how he’d hurt her, so she ate all of it and washed it down with rich, sweetened coffee.

  “The tropical storm watch has been upgraded to a warning,” Jack said, tossing his empty cup in the trash.

  “A warning?”

  “Yeah, it means the storm will hit within twenty-four hours.”

  Her hand stopped midway to her mouth. “What?”

  “I hoped it wouldn’t happen, but the storm’s heading straight for us.”

  Darci set her cup on the bedside table. “You mean this isn’t the storm?”

  Jack shook his head. “It’s only just begun.”

  “Then we’re stuck here? For how long?”

  “Depends on the storm. Sometimes they blow right over, but we have to be cautious. For now we’re safe here.”

  A tropical storm didn’t fit into her agenda. Spending time alone with Jack in a hotel room with one bed. Not exactly ideal. Especially after his rejection this morning. She’d barely made it through the first one. She wouldn’t make it through another. And given her strong attraction to him, keeping her distance would be difficult.

  This just kept getting worse and worse. The good news: they were safe for the moment. The bad news: she still wanted him. Even after the intense lovemaking they’d shared last night, which left her exhausted and reeling. She’d had no idea she could be so insatiable.

  “Jack—”

  A knock on the door interrupted her.

  ****

  Jack held a finger to his lips to silence her and reached behind his back as he moved with predatory grace toward the door.

  The transformation in him intrigued her. One minute he was relaxed and the next he had a gun in his hand and every muscle on alert.

  The man she didn’t know. The Navy SEAL. The one with skills that kept her safe.

  Jack moved to the door, gun ready next to his cheek. With a quick glance at Darci, he cracked the door open and looked out.

  Darci fought the urge to hide behind the bed. Of course it was their bodyguard, but her heart thumped in her chest and the irrational side of her knew for sure Heath waited outside the door. Somehow he’d found her and would go through Jack to get to her.

  Her breath panted out and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t slow it down. She kept her eyes glued on Jack and noticed he’d lowered the gun so that it rested on his thigh behind the door, well out of sight. He spoke quietly to whoever stood on the other side, though his body language hadn’t changed.

  This life wasn’t for her. She couldn’t live in fear like this. It made her stomach hurt and gave her heart palpitations. A simple knock on the door had about given her a stroke. She had to get off this island. No, she had to get out of the Caribbean. Screw the tropics, she wanted rainy, foggy Boston. She wanted her apartment and her friends and cable. The fun had ended and she wanted out.

  Wrapping her arms around her waist, she scooted back against the headboard and waited for Jack. Only a couple minutes passed before he closed the door, his gun once again tucked beneath his shirt. Now she understood why he wore loose shirts—to conceal a weapon. This deadly game suddenly seemed all too real. The euphoria she’d felt last night seemed like a dream now.

  “Who was it?”

  “Hotel manager.” Jack picked up an empty container and tossed it in the trash. “He’s personally making sure everyone knows about the storm. He assures us the hotel will see to our needs and safety.”

  A relief, but she trusted no one except Jack with her safety. “Like a doctor making house calls?”

  Jack grinned and threw out the rest of the leftover boxes from their breakfast. “You could say that.”

  “Well, I’ll be sure to call him when I need more towels.” She had intended to make the comment light and easy, but it came out flat and barely disguised her emotions. Too late to try and cover them up.

  Jack picked up on the anxious, slightly panicky note in her voice. “We’re going to be fine, Darci. You know that, don’t you?”

  She tossed him a careless smile. “Of course.”

  His eyes narrowed as he studied her face. She wouldn’t hide much from him. He was too perceptive.

  “I have everything under control.”

  For some reason that didn’t reassure her. Usually, but not this time. Instead it made her angry.

  “Yeah, I know. You have this amazing ability to control everything around you. Even the weather.” Angry, she jumped off the bed and glared at him. “How about that? Maybe you can wave your magic wand and make the storm travel around us. No, I got it, you can use your super powers to put a shield around the island and protect all of us.” Hurt and anger bubbled inside her and she knew she was losing it, but she couldn’t stop. “What do you say, Jack? Are you going to save the world?”

  ****

  Oh, boy. He’d expected this, but that didn’t make it any easier. He would give anything to protect Darci from the horrors she’d witnessed and to keep them at bay, but they would only stay dormant for so long. And by the looks of things they had been dormant long enough. He’d known the instant he closed the door that she was on the edge. He’d gotten a little tense when the knock came. Bad guys didn’t usually knock on the door, but Darci didn’t know that.

  He let her insults roll off him. He knew where they came from, knew more than anyone, because he’d reacted much the same way on his first mission when he almost lost a teammate. Stress needed an outlet and sooner or later it would find one. Darci’s outlet was open now and she couldn’t keep it under wraps. He didn’t want her to keep it in; he wanted her to let it out. Once she purged it from her system she would be able to handle the rest.

  Right now she looked angry enough to spit nails. Putting his arms around her probably wasn’t the best choice. Instead he silently let her get it out of her system. When she crashed he’d be there.

  She pushed past him, pacing the room. He had a hard time focusing on her and not the long legs that had been wrapped around his waist just a short while ago. Not going there. No way would he add to her regrets. He didn’t like thinking about last night as a mistake and only part of him believed Darci did.

  “…can you do that?”

  Jack snapped his attention away from her legs and found her staring at him, tears swimming in her eyes.

  “Sweetheart—”

  “No. Tell me, Jack, can you teach me how to shut it off
like you do?”

  Jack felt the sting of her words. Shutting it off was a necessary part of his career and it had become a normal part of life for him, so much so that when someone like Darci pointed it out, it came as a shock. He didn’t want her to view him as a machine, someone so accustomed to violence that he appeared cold. Though that was exactly how he functioned most of the time. He had to. That, or risk losing his life.

  This time when he didn’t answer, she spun away from him and wrapped her arms around her waist. She tried to appear angry, but the tears gave her away. She’d been scared when he opened the door. Her little streak of pride kept her going, but that had disappeared and she was falling.

  In one swift move he had her wrapped in his arms and when she came willingly he knew he’d made the right choice.

  “I hate this. I don’t fall apart over a stupid knock on the door. I am not a weepy female.” Her words muffled against his neck even as tears wet his skin.

  Jack smiled. “I know, babe.”

  “I thought it was…”

  His smile disappeared. “I know, but it wasn’t. And if it had been, we would have handled him, wouldn’t we?”

  She nodded and held tighter. Her tears were flowing heavily now and her shoulders were shaking. When she lifted her head, her eyes were red-rimmed and the tip of her nose pink.

  “But that’s the whole problem, Jack, I don’t want to have to handle it. I want to go home. This isn’t fun anymore. I wasn’t meant for this kind of life. I’m a singer, for Heaven’s sake. I should be on the road with my band right now, playing festivals and having a good time. I shouldn’t be here. I should be drinking green beer and dancing the jig.”

  Her words trailed off in a sob and Jack pushed her head down on his shoulder. She shouldn’t be here dealing with this. As he held her, he let her words sink in. She wasn’t meant for this kind of life, which confirmed what he’d been thinking all along: she couldn’t live in his world and he couldn’t expect her to. Her life was in Boston, his was in the Navy.

  Her tears subsided, but Jack didn’t let her go. He liked holding her, liked how natural it felt to have her in his arms. She fit him in more ways than he could count. Her arms were wrapped around his waist and every now and then she would hiccup.