Fostering Hope (Silver Lining Book 1)

by Amanda Perry

  I laugh as he stuffs another bite into his mouth. “You should consider chewing and swallowing between bites,” I joke, rolling my eyes at him.

  “Okay,” Maggie calls. “Cake then more presents.”

  I gaze around the room and find Rebecca huddled with Jack, Collin, Dominic, and Lochlan. Each of them stand with their arms crossed and brows furrowed. My stomach drops, wondering if their discussion involves me. They said they wanted to keep me even after graduation. I know they’ll probably change their minds by then, but I’m hoping not. Maybe Rebecca decided to relocate me, and she’s breaking the news to them now.

  While everyone sings me happy birthday and I blow out my candles, I can’t take my mind or my eyes off Rebecca. I’m almost certain she came to take me back because there might have been some kind of crazy mistake, and she realized I don’t belong with this family. My stomach twists into knots. I don’t want to leave the Harper-Smith family.

  The idea of being taken from them solidifies how much they mean to me. I don’t want to admit it to myself, but I can’t keep denying it. They’re the family I’ve always wanted. I’m not ready to give them up yet, or ever. As I’m lost in my somber thoughts, the cake is cut and everyone gobbles up their slices of cake.. I take a few bites, but it’s hard to swallow while thinking of ways to tell Rebecca I don’t want to leave.

  Duncan clears his throat and rocks back on his heels, bringing me out of my panic. He hands me a small box wrapped in sparkling paper. He doesn’t say a word as he hands it to me and takes my half empty plate, but he seems a bit nervous. I give him a reassuring smile and open the box carefully, setting the paper down neatly with the rest. Peering into the box, I gasp, and my eyes shoot to Duncan in confusion.

  “Are you sure you meant to give this to me?” I ask, fairly certain he didn’t purposefully give me a silver colored anklet with a star in the center of the chain. “It’s really beautiful, but I don’t think I’d be a good person to wear it. I’d probably break it or scuff it. Heck, with my luck the dogs would eat it right off my foot.” The sparkling of the star distracts me from all my reasons for not accepting his gift. “Wow, it’s so pretty, though.”

  Duncan laughs loudly and nods. “It’s for you, love. It actually comes with something else you’ll get later. If you’re interested that is. I’d like to take you camping. I have a telescope and a map of the stars. You can pick out your own star and name it.”

  “An actual star?” I whisper in disbelief, turning the box slowly in my hand allowing the metal to sparkle and shimmer. “This is already too much. I can’t accept a star.”

  “It’ll be fun. It’s not really that extravagant, but it’s pretty cool. At least to me it is. I love stargazing, and camping is awesome, too.” Duncan seems genuinely excited about taking me.

  Excitement bubbles up, and a big smile crosses my face. “That actually sounds really fun. I can’t wait.”

  Duncan grins happily. I love his smile. I’d do anything to keep him smiling. He gestures to the anklet. “Can I put it on for you?”

  “What if I break it?”

  “It’s under warranty if it breaks,” he snickers. “I had them put your birthstone inside the star, too.”

  Squinting closer, I find a light blue aquamarine stone in the center of the star. “Wow. Just, wow.”

  He kneels next to me, taking the anklet and clasping it around my right ankle. I watch him in awe. “Speechless?”

  “Very.”

  “We’re next, Parker,” Collin calls while grabbing a small gift bag from the table. “We aren’t nearly as creative as our boys, but Jack and I picked this out together for you.”

  Maggie clears her throat and raises a brow at her husband. He blushes and shrugs. “I mean, we had some help, but we came up with the idea more or less.”

  “I’m sure you guys did a great job.” I giggle. I don’t hesitate to open the package and pull out the box from inside. A pair of sparkling diamond stud earrings rest inside the small silver box. They’re perfect. “I love it, Jack. It’s perfect, Collin. Thank you both so much.”

  Jack blows out a breath and laughs lightly. “We weren’t sure if you’d like the design, but it reminded us of you so we took a chance. Also, Maggie told us about Dominic and Duncan’s ideas. We thought these would match them nicely.”

  “They’re amazing.” I run my finger over the stones. “I really don’t deserve them, but they’re beautiful.”

  “You do deserve them,” Lochlan growls, handing me a horribly wrapped box. “Mine’s last. I’m not sure you’ll like it, but you need it.”

  I grin to myself as I open the box. I find Lochlan’s grouchiness adorable lately. While I’m half tempted to tell him, I don’t want to embarrass myself. Taking the paper off the box, I find the last thing I’d expect. “Bullets? Is this the part where you off me or something?”

  “No.” Lochlan rolls his eyes. “I’m taking you shooting. I’m going to teach you how to use a gun properly.”

  “A gun?” I squeak, my eyes shooting around the room for some help. “I can’t even walk in a straight line without falling on my face, and you want to hand me a gun?”

  “It’s better than a fucking ruler,” he counters, raising a challenging brow.

  I narrow my eyes and debate kicking him in the shin. “I didn’t exactly have time to find a real weapon.”

  “What would you have done if that ruler had been a gun?” he asks, crossing his arms.

  The muscle in his arms distracts me, and I shake my head a few times to pull myself together. “Erm, I have no idea.”

  “Exactly.” He grins triumphantly. If only he knew why he won the argument. “So, I’ll teach you how to defend yourself.”

  “I’d argue with you if the idea of learning to shoot didn’t intrigue me.” Setting the bullets down, I notice a card fall from underneath the box. “What’s that?”

  “It’s a gift card for you to go shopping,” Lochlan mumbles. His cheeks turn slightly pink, and I gape at him, shocked at his blush. “I figured the shooting was more for my peace of mind, so I’d give you some girly shit to do, also.”

  Turning the card over, I notice the amount at the top. I gasp and proceed to choke on air. Dominic rescues me, patting my back as Talen hands me some water. I thank them then turn my attention back to a frowning Lochlan. “I can’t accept this, Lochlan” I murmur, staring down at the card in my hand. “It’s not right.”

  “What’s not right is how you’ve been going without everything your whole life. This is just the start of us all making that up to you in our own way. Let us spoil you, babe.” Lochlan wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to stand, and guides me over to Maggie. “Don’t worry about what we should and shouldn’t be doing. We’re grown ass men, we can handle ourselves.”

  “Men and woman,” Maggie corrects. She pulls me away from Lochlan and into a hug. I hold her tightly, trying to thank her for everything without words. “Happy birthday, Parker,” she whispers, pulling away.

  She lets me go then steps back between Jack and Collin. Greyson skips over to me and hands me a crayon decorated envelope. “One more thing! I get to be the mailman delivery guy and give you mail. I drawed a stamp on it so it can be delivered.”

  “Your stamp is perfect, Greyson.” I giggle, taking the envelope from him and opening it up. “Thank you, Mr. Mailman.”

  Greyson laughs loudly and shakes his head. “I’m not a real mailman. I’m just a kid.”

  “Oh.” I nod seriously, “Right, I remember now.”

  Taking the note from the envelope, I read it to myself quickly once, then slower a second time. Tears spring from my eyes almost instantly.

  Dear Parker,

  We wanted you to feel like you’re special and cared for today. We know you haven’t had good experiences with holidays in the past, but we’re going to change that. Consider this the start of new traditions with us. We’ll always want you with us, and we’ll always celebrate your birth with you. To us, this day
means so much because it’s the day you were brought into this world, and we’re so lucky to have you.

  Things may be confusing for you now; we know that we can be a lot to handle. But know that we promise to keep you safe and always keep a place in this family for you. You’re a part of us now and forever.

  Love, your family,

  Talen, Lochlan, Duncan, Declan, Dominic, Austyn, Maggie, Collin, Jack, and Greyson

  (And Pup and Kit)

  My heart swells with happiness, and for the first time since arriving to this family, I really believe I’m wanted here, by everyone. As terrifying as it is, I allow myself to hope I finally found my family, a place where I belong.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Dear Journal,

  I guess that’s how I’m supposed to start a journal entry. I never had a journal as a kid, but Maggie said that’s standard to start out an entry so I guess I will use it.

  It’s been almost a month since my birthday and things have been… complicated. The guys are all great. My day with Austyn at the spa was more fun than I ever imagined. I never knew getting pampered could cost so much, but the card Austyn gave me covered everything, and he said there was more left if I decided I wanted to go back. When we got back home, Maggie asked for help with dinner. I volunteered just to spend more time with her, and we talked for a few hours while we cooked. It was a perfect day.

  Greyson and I went on our chocolate date last week. Collin drove us, and the three of us had a blast. It turns out Collin is a closet sugar addict. He got one of every chocolate they offered, and when I mentioned the guys and Maggie being happy about him bringing home a treat, he laughed, telling me he wouldn’t be sharing his treasure. Greyson got his own mini box of chocolates as well. Collin insisted I pick some out, but there were too many for me to choose so I let Greyson pick mine. My box ended up being much bigger than I anticipated, and I still had plenty from the box Greyson gave me for my birthday. I shared mine with everyone at home, and they were elated, claiming it’s the best chocolate around. They’re right, too. I’ve never had chocolate so amazing. I can’t wait to go back.

  Yesterday, I finished all of my class assignments. Having full access to a computer sped things up, and as long as the teachers approve my final works, I’ll be graduating at the end of the month. I mentioned it to Dominic last night, and he told me to expect another celebration. I made him promise to keep it a secret until I got the okay from my teachers. I also told him I didn’t want them to go so crazy on a party this time. Just dinner with everyone at the house would be perfect for me. I loved my birthday party, but they spent way too much money on me, making me feel guilty about it.

  Duncan said our stargazing and camping day would be in a few weeks when the weather warms a bit more, but for now, he has me studying a map of stars and thinking of what I want to name my star.

  I pause my writing and grin to myself as I remember when I got the map from Duncan. He has so much talent with science. He came to my room with a map of stars the other day.

  “Want to learn some stuff about stars?” He asks with a hopeful, boyish grin.

  “Of course!” I hop up from my desk chair and we end up sitting together on my bed. “Do you think you could teach me more about stars?”

  “Yeah!” He perks up, his eyes shining bright. He and I spend hours talking about astronomy.

  He was much more excited about teaching me than I expected.. “I’m shocked you’re in law school and not studying astronomy.”

  He chuckles. “I don’t want to make a career of it, but I might minor in it.”

  “When I start college next fall, I’ll take a class with you. I’d love to learn more.”

  His eyes darken, roaming over my face. “I’d love that.”

  Something in his gaze cause butterflies to burst free in my stomach. “Me, too.”

  Focusing back on my journal, I turn the page and continue writing.

  Talen and Lochlan both want me to go with them next week on our special trips. Talen assures me Wednesday will be best because they have a special show going on at the aquarium. I readily agreed with him. I assume he knows more about these things than I do. I’ve never been to an aquarium. Lochlan made arrangements with a friend of his, and we get the gun range to ourselves next Sunday. He brought me some ear and eye protection in purple the other day. He claims it’s required, and I didn’t argue. I know guns can be loud, I heard plenty of them outside growing up. The more I think about it, the more I realize learning to defend myself will be a good thing.

  My swim lessons with Declan start today. He made me promise to free up my whole evening for him. He said he’d come over straight after work and stay the night. He took tomorrow off to continue the lessons, which I find silly. He owns the company, though, so it’s not a big deal. At least that’s what he told me. He should be here any minute, so I need to get ready.

  I didn’t ask Maggie how to end a journal entry. So I guess that’s all for now? Or I’ll write in you later? The end? I have no idea.

  “Parker?” Declan’s voice pulls me from my journal entry ending, and I’m glad for it. I feel silly trying to end a conversation I wrote in a book. I have to admit to myself, it’s a nice way to sort through my thoughts about the guys, though. “Are you about ready?”

  I raise my head and stare at Declan while blindly tucking my journal into my nightstand drawer. “I just need to get my towel and probably sandals.” The sight of Declan in only his swim shorts and a ribbed tank distracts me, and I nearly fall off my bed trying to stand up. Luckily, his back is turned by the time I narrowly miss face planting, and I’m able to right myself before he glances behind him to make sure I’m following.

  He waits for me by my bedroom door, placing a hand on the small of my back and leading me down the stairs. I wish I could control the way my stomach flutters and my body shivers when the guys touch me. I know it’s because my feelings for them have been growing, but I don’t understand why I can’t stop myself. I don’t want them to think I’m trying to break them apart or jump all over them, and I know they can’t all like me in a romantic way. I need to find a way to stop my heart and my body’s reaction to them all.

  Declan grabs two towels from the linen closet, and we head to the car. The drive to the public pool is quick, and we get into the building fast since no one’s around. We split up for a brief moment, entering through our gender designated locker rooms.

  “You know you could have come through the guys locker room with me.”

  Declan grabs a fist full of the back of his tank, pulling it over his head. Why is that so sexy? My body shivers again and heat pools in my lower belly. Declan’s perfect six pack abs flex as he tosses his shirt to the side.

  “Parker? You okay, sweetheart?”

  My eyes shoot up to his and widen. He frowns with concern. “What?”

  “Hey, don’t be scared.” He strides to me quickly and runs his hands up and down my arms in a soothing gesture. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “Oh, right.” I don’t want to explain to him why my brain short circuited suddenly, so I let him assume it’s fear of the pool. I can’t look him in the eye as we wade into the shallow end of the pool, and Declan shows me the proper way to swim.

  “Let’s have you float on your stomach,” Declan suggests, holding a hand out to me. “I’ll hold you, and you can work on the motions with your legs and arms.”

  “Okay,” I agree, allowing him to pull me into slightly deeper waters.

  The moment his hands come to rest on my stomach as he holds me up, my body catches fire. My heart races a little faster, though not in a panicked sort of way. My cheeks heat as blood rushes to them. Every place his hands touch becomes alive with nerves.

  I’m able to handle about ten minutes of the sweet torture before I suddenly push myself back to standing. “I need a minute.” Without waiting on a response, I turn my back to Declan and slowly walk toward the stairs.

  Declan’s strong arm
snakes around my waist and pulls my back into his front. He ignores my gasp of surprise and drags us backward against the side of the pool.

  “Talk to me, Parker,” he murmurs in my ear, pulling me impossibly close to his body. “Something’s bothering you.”

  “I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” I tell him truthfully, my voice breathy. “I don’t know what to think. You all might look at me differently. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “You could never, sweetheart.” I know he means what he says; his strong voice shows how serious he is. He must sense my disbelief in his words, though. He huffs, and the puff of his breath against my neck gives me goose bumps.

  His body straightens as mine shakes slightly. He clears his throat before talking again. “My family isn’t normal, Parker. Growing up, it bothered me at times. Kids at school would find out about my two dads and make fun of me for it. They learned about my adopted and foster brothers, and they’d call our house a puppy pound. I started to become ashamed of my family, and I’ll never forgive myself for that feeling.”

  “You were just a kid, Declan.” I link his hand in mine and lay my head back on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “You wanted to be accepted. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “It took me a while to accept my family and myself,” he admits quietly. “Duncan helped me with it. He’s always been accepting of our family, every member. He doesn’t judge people, but he also doesn’t care when people try and judge him.”

  “How did he help?” I ask, squeezing his hand.

  Declan shakes with silent laughter. “He smacked me upside the head. I’ll never forget what he told me, too. He said, ‘Would you rather look cool to a bunch of idiot kids who won’t matter to you in five years, or would you rather be accepting of the family that’ll be there for you forever?’ His words hit me hard, and it was my defining moment. It’s when I decided I didn’t give a damn what people thought, and I’d love who I wanted and accept who I wanted as my family. I’ll never apologize for who I decide to let into my family, and I’ll never apologize for who I love.”