Box Set

by Kim Petersen

  Lilly had grown up on Queensland’s Gold Coast. Her parents still lived in the family home on the canals in Broadbeach. How she longed for the comfort of her mother’s warm embrace and the words that fell in support from her tender lips. Lilly did not share her marital problems with them nor the recent attack her husband had just bestowed upon her, as they had warned her against Glen in those early years. Their pleas for their only daughter fell on deaf ears and a blind heart. That will be my first stop. Lilly reached the big glass doors of the Rockton Bank – But not my final destination – as she knew that would be the first place Glen would go looking for her. But she had to see her parents; it had been years. She slid her sunglasses over her head. She took a deep breath. Here goes nothing!

  She breezed in through the bank’s entrance. Silently, she asked God to assist her with the task before her of applying for a personal loan, because she had never done so before and the thought unnerved her. Glen had always taken control of the money coming into the household, including her earnings from her job at the pharmacy. Lilly could keep very little to herself that went unnoticed by her husband, so she had no choice but to apply for a bank loan if her plan was to succeed. Her future depended on the right outcome today, because for her plan to work, she would need some money of her own.

  ***

  When she arrived home later that afternoon, Lilly was feeling rather confident that her loan application had gone well. The bank manager had told her it would be a week before an outcome would be reached after going through her details and references. She felt good about taking a step towards her plans. She was relieved to see Millie was not home as she knew her daughter was vying for some time with her, and she couldn’t bring herself to give her that time yet, not with her leaving so soon. Thinking of her children suddenly made her feel guilty. She couldn’t take them with her, as much as she wanted to. He would track them down relentlessly. She knew Glen’s dark side only too well, and it was a side to her husband she would never underestimate again. He still loved his children and she would not dare put it to the test. For now, it was her intention to go on as normal while she planned the details of her escape from a life and a town she was eager to leave behind. And she knew, with a bittersweet tinge, that she would never come back to either of them.

  Lilly changed into a black singlet top and a pair of denim shorts, loosened her hair and crouched down to the bottom of her wardrobe to pull out an old locked wooden box buried deep under several other boxes that contained shoes. Settling herself on the floor, she unlocked the box with a key that dangled on a chain of gold that she had hidden under her bedside drawers. She hadn’t looked into the box for at least fourteen years. Her eyes fell upon photographs of a young vibrant woman with tumbling waves of dark hair complementing the delicate features of her face. She gasped at the smile she saw in the photo. It’s Millie! After so many years choosing to escape the past, the similarity took her by surprise. Among the few moments frozen on old square photographic paper was a birth certificate and a band of white gold with a script painstakingly engraved on the inner circle of the ring. There was also a letter written on pale pink recycled paper from a mother to her newborn daughter. She held them in the warmth of her grasp for a few moments before wrapping them in some tissue paper and placing it all in a plastic bag and securing it tightly with tape. She returned the wrapped items to the box, gazing sadly at the faded chipped paintwork of the white and gold shells that had been a grand decoration at one time – Another time, Lilly thought, as she placed the box back in its original position – Another life.

  After she hid the key to the box, she sat on the edge of her bed engrossed in her thoughts and enjoying the privacy of her brief moments alone before she had to face her family and play a hard game of pretend. She felt numb inside. It was as if her mind had already become detached and her physical body just had to catch up. Lilly knew the disconnection was inevitable, but it was as if she had little control over the speed at which her feelings overtook her. This surprised her because she loved her children and she had never envisioned a future without them – until now. Her freedom loomed in front of her in an enticing vision of little responsibility and no more walking on eggshells around an unpredictable, dangerous husband.

  Ace broke the train of her thoughts when he appeared like an awkward shadow in the doorway to her bedroom.

  “Hi buddy.” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Hi Mum.” The muddle in his eyes portrayed his uncertainty.

  She went up to him and encircled her slim arms around him. She pulled him close and embraced him with a sudden rush of affection. He squirmed a little in her grip and looked up at her as her eyes brimmed with tears.

  “I love you Ace,” she said, still holding him close. “Don’t you forget that, okay?”

  “Okay Mum.” His voice was sullen as he slowly extricated himself from her embrace.

  He studied her with a quizzical expression for a moment then grinned. “So, what’s for dinner?” he said, taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen.

  Lilly chuckled. “How does fried rice and honey soy chicken sound?”

  “With vege chips?” Ace asked with a hopeful arch of his brows.

  “But of course!”

  “Sounds good then.” Ace answered. “I’ll help you.”

  She went to the fridge to fetch the ingredients. “That would be lovely,” she said while gathering the food. “Where is Millie?”

  “With Emily,” Ace said as he cracked an egg for the omelette. “She’s always with Emily. She never takes me down to the bay now.”

  “Hmmm,” she breezed in response.

  Pausing between eggs, Ace focused on her. “Can you take me to the bay, Mum? We haven’t gone there together in ages.”

  “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure.” She looked away from him. “One day soon, okay.”

  Lilly was glad her daughter had found a new friend in Emily. Their friendship seemed to be blossoming, and for Lilly this recent development between the two girls could not have come at a better time. She knew now that Millie would have a good friend to support her when she left her family. Right now, she grasped at anything to keep her from feeling guilty when it came to her children.

  Chapter Five

  December 6, 1987

  D ear Journal,

  Never thought I’d say this but I cannot wait to go to school tomorrow! I have two words: DAMON RICHARDS!! Oh my god! He has really started to notice me. Thanks to Emily. She taught me how to apply black eyeliner and mascara, and she helped me to sew the hem up on my school uniform skirt – add a push-up bra and voila! Stand to attention honey! Ha ha! So, he’s asked me out on a date next Saturday night. I’ve asked Mum and she didn’t even want information about him, or where we’d be going. Easy peasy. Actually, I haven’t ever had this much freedom and I am loving it. Why question it right? Right?

  She’s been home for three weeks now and she hardly talks to me, so that makes the two of them now. I am done trying to figure it all out with my parents. She still cries though, more it seems. I’ve tried to offer her comfort but she doesn’t want it from me. I see her cuddling Ace though. I guess because he’s the baby. I’ve always known she had a softer place for him in her heart; maybe it’s that. Maybe it’s just me.

  Lately I’ve been having dreams of coloured angel wings, lots of them hovering and floating about, and a face … at first a blurred vision but I can always feel her before the vision of her comes to me. The feeling is so nice; all I can think to describe it is love. She comes closer and closer. She is saying something but I cannot hear her. And finally, when she comes into clear sight, she is me! Then I awaken.

  I don’t know what the dreams mean – if anything at all, but I have started to sketch and colour my angel wings and my visions of her. I have found that I really enjoy drawing, and I’m not too bad at it. A new talent I have discovered, and I am becoming quite passionate about it. It calms me, makes me feel good to create with my hands. So, I have dec
ided to develop this newfound passion of mine and see where it goes.

  For now, most of which consumes my mind is Damon, and I can’t wait to spend some time alone with him next Saturday night. I wonder where he will take me. I am so excited!

  Keep you updated journal, chow for now!

  Millie xo

  P.S I didn’t even know push-up bras existed!

  ***

  Millie was in a deep sleep when she began to feel the slightest of finger tips pattering over her face, and then drift over the fine hairs of her arm. She threw an arm up over her face and turned over, letting out a grumpy moan and trying to fight the feathery strokes that were intent on rousing her out of a cosy slumber.

  “Wake up sleepy head,” Ace said softly, tapping the hand that shielded her face. “Mum said to wake up, Millie.”

  He decided to give up on the gentle option and take it up a notch.

  “Wakey, wakey Millie-pie!” he yelled, leaping on top of her.

  “Ace! Get off me!” She ripped a pillow from beneath her head and swung hard, hitting her target on the side of his head and sending her brother throttling to the floor. She smirked down at him with an air of triumph. “Little shit.”

  “At least I’m not a big one like you Millie Stinky-Poo,” he retorted.

  They both broke out into a fit of giggles.

  “You okay?” she asked, stretching.

  “Yeah,” he said while getting up from the floor. “Hey, did you know that cows have best friends within their herds?” He raised his eyebrows.

  “Err … no, Ace.” She was out of the bed now. “I didn’t know that. I guess even cows need best friends,” she said, smiling and ruffling his hair. “Now, let me get ready for school, okay.”

  Ace left her room, and the smile on her face became one of intimate excitement. Secret little butterflies danced about in her stomach while she thought about the day that lay before her. She savoured the intoxicating pleasure that arose from the flutters in her tummy while she made her bed then eagerly dressed and ready for a school day that held the guarantee of exquisite moments with Damon ahead of her.

  Forty minutes later she bounced through the old front door, stopping short on her porch to look for Emily. She didn’t have to look far.

  “Whoa! Hey Miss Millie, look at you!” Emily was perched on the low brick fence bordering Millie’s front yard. Her hair was swept back in a tight ponytail. She made her school uniform appear quite trendy by adding dozens of thin coloured plastic bangles to her wrists. A red tie was loosely wrapped around her neck, and long black feathers dangled from small lobes. She looked like a delicate punked-up porcelain doll, but when she spoke, her voice betrayed an innocence. “Sexy spunky girly. You’ll have all the boys hot and bothered today!” she laughed.

  Millie blushed as she skipped down the stairs. “Too much eyeliner?” she asked with a worried frown.

  Emily laughed as Millie paused before her. “No silly; you look gorgeous.” She flung an arm around Millie’s shoulders. “Let’s go to school. I know a certain someone that will appreciate how sexy you are looking today,” she teased.

  “Emily, stop!” Millie retorted, although secretly satisfied with her friend’s reaction to her appearance.

  She had certainly made a special effort. She had meticulously applied charcoal eyeliner to accentuate the strike of her green cat-like eyes, and finished them off with a thick layer of black mascara. Nude pink gloss was smeared over her lips, enhancing the high contours of her face. Millie hoped Damon would appreciate her efforts today, as it was all for him. And so far, it was working like magic, she thought with relish. I just about have him where I want him. Despite this, she felt a sense of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. No! she reassured herself. It’s all okay. She pushed aside the doubt and focused on pleasing thoughts of him. Circling an arm around Emily, the two girls started off towards the bus stop.

  “You realise you’ll get in trouble at school for the earrings and the bangles,” Millie said, admiring her friend’s individuality.

  “Meh!” Emily chuckled. “Who cares? I like this look.” She gave Millie a mischievous wink. “Besides, did you know that if a boy breaks one of these rubber bangles off my wrist, it means he wants to get with me?”

  Millie stopped dead in her tracks and gaped at Emily. “No … really?” Her brows knitted into a frown.

  “Ahhhh Miss Millie.” Emily threw her head back and laughed. “You don’t really know much, do you? … Hey, do you want one to wear?”

  “No thanks,” Millie snapped. “Hurry up Em, the bus is about to come”.

  ***

  Millie ignored the stares from other girls as she walked to her first class of the day – science. She knew she wasn’t the most popular girl among her peers of late but this did not concern her. She had never been “Miss Popularity”. Fitting in with the crowd was not a priority for her. She would rather express who she was and feel the freedom that comes with it, than conform to the ideas of others on how she should be. The only trouble was, she was still figuring out her self-identity and had a long way to go yet.

  Millie kept looking straight ahead and held her head up high as she made her way down the second-floor corridor to class. Hushed conversations followed her – “Look at all the make-up”, said one. “Who does she think she is?” another sneered, accompanied by giggles. As she reached the heavy brown doors of the science lab, Millie turned and faced her adversaries, giving them the biggest smile she could muster. And with a quick wink of an eye, she tossed up her long loose curls and disappeared into the classroom. Jealous bitches! she scowled to herself. But dark thoughts vanished as her stomach did a hasty flip when she caught sight of Damon beckoning her to sit beside him.

  Millie felt his eyes on her as she made her way towards the seat he had saved for her. As she came nearer, she could sense the hunger lingering within those ocean-blue eyes. The passion dwelling there sent the butterflies inside her fluttering madly. She was suddenly conscious of her every move. Her hands and her whole body felt clammy while her heart thundered under her breasts. He was handsome. Dark hair fell casually around the collar of his white school shirt and wisped about his face, highlighting the set of his eyes and enhancing the strong projection of his jaw. Perfectly etched lips widened in a brilliant smile as she sat down next to him.

  “Hello beautiful,” he crooned.

  “Hi.” Millie smiled briefly, then shyly looked away. She gazed about the clatter of the classroom while trying to calm the maelstrom inside her.

  “You look lovely today, Millie.” He smiled as he lifted his hand to sweep the dark wavy locks from her face.

  “Thanks Damon,” she muttered, and blushed. “You look good too.”

  Millie felt a wash of relief when the class fell quiet as their teacher arrived to commence the lesson. This would give her a chance to compose herself. Silly girl, he is only a boy! He slid his chair closer to her, and she thought her heart might just pop right out of her chest when he rested his hand on her thigh and caressed her. She caught the glare of a few girls who were scrutinising them and obviously wondering how this new liaison had occurred under their watch. They were clearly not thrilled at their apparent new rival who had seemingly swept in from nowhere to dominate Damon’s attention – the boy every girl wanted to call her boyfriend. Millie avoided their gaze and began to relax. She rested her own hand on top of his and wrapped his hand in her long slender fingers.

  He kept glancing at her during the session as the teacher muttered about creating pure water from saltwater through an evaporative process. With each stolen peek, her smile grew wider with courage until eventually she couldn’t help but laugh.

  “What are you laughing at?” he teased.

  She bit down on her bottom lip to subdue another giggle. “You,” she whispered before the teacher insisted for their attention.

  As Damon turned to face the teacher, she caught the grin that smattered across his face.

  As the other studen
ts left at the end of the lesson, Damon pulled her aside and whispered in her ear. “I can’t wait for Saturday night, Millie.”

  Millie smiled back at him. “Me too,” she replied, delighting in the way her name sounded on his lips.

  He brought a hand up under her chin and his face came down to hers. Millie could feel his warm breath tickling the tip of her nose. She gazed up into those limpid blue orbs and found herself lost in them as his lips came down to meet hers. She parted her lips in response and closed her eyes, feeling silly to be watching him in the most intimate moment they had shared so far. His lips closed over hers lightly, and it felt every bit as sweet as she had imagined them to feel in all her past delicious dreams starring him as her romantic charming main character. She felt the wonderment of her heart’s desire manifesting in her experience – A thought that exhilarated her and knew it worth further pondering later. When Damon pulled away from her with a smile playing at the corners of his lips, she caught the affection in his eyes, in contrast to the cockiness that she usually saw there.

  “See you later,” he said softly.

  “Bye Damon,” she said, her voice mirroring the rush of tenderness he displayed towards her.

  Damon turned on sneakered feet and left the classroom in a hurry to arrive at his next subject on time. Watching until he was out of sight, Millie took her time as she picked up her backpack that was littered with her favourite brooches and band names. She walked out in a dream, still revelling in the feelings that her first kiss had provoked in her. She picked up her pace and skipped down the hallway. It was all she could do to contain herself from the sweet emotions pulsating through her that made her want to dance and jump for joy. And she couldn’t wait to tell Emily.