Box Set

by Kim Petersen

  Damon’s hand paused longingly over the small of her back, while his eyes admired her small rounded buttocks.

  “You sound worried?” he asked.

  Millie admitted then that when she had questioned Emily about her new necklace, she had told her it was a gift from Drew. An early birthday present, he had told her. Emily had also told Millie that Drew had apologised to her, saying that he had never meant to hurt her. This latest information unsettled Millie. There was something she didn’t trust about Drew, and she was suspicious of his sudden act of generosity. She wondered what he might want. Would he hurt her friend again?

  Damon followed the impression of the line that ran down between her bottom and toned thighs and allowed his hand to linger lightly on her buttocks, and then he followed with his hand towards her thighs, pausing just under her bottom cheek for the slightest moment.

  All thoughts of Emily and her stepfather disintegrated from her mind at the intimate touch of Damon’s hands, as they concentrated around her buttocks and thighs. She closed her eyes, focusing on the exquisite shivers his light touch had provoked in her. Swivelling around to face him, she gazed into his eyes. To her his eyes were a lagoon that she wanted to explore and become lost in forever, surrounded by its clear comforting waters. She grinned at him through white rimmed sunglasses, and pulled him gently down with a hand that clasped the back of his neck, guiding him towards welcoming lips. His lips met hers willingly. He tempted her with his sensuous tongue, kissing her with a trace of the deep urges he felt for her. She felt him grow hard against the side of her thigh, and it was enough for her to pull away from his embrace as a sudden feeling of shyness overwhelmed her. Millie wasn’t anywhere near ready to go that far yet, and luckily Damon understood that. He told her he would wait for her forever if he had to, laughing it off as a joke. But she knew he meant it.

  Then, he brought his mouth down next to her ear and whispered the words she wanted to hear. “I love you, Millie.”

  Her spirit soared as she basked in the purity of the love shining through Damon for her. And she basked knowing that this moment shared between them was not unlike the love that created all things. A fleeting thought crossed her mind. If thought and imagination shape our experiences, what would happen if every person in the world would deliberately focus their thoughts on love and nothing else? Surely such a phenomena would cause a shift in mass consciousness. Surely this could change the world. Where do these thoughts come from? she wondered.

  Millie shifted her attention back to Damon, rewarding his heartfelt revelation with a lovesick grin.

  “I feel the same, Damon,” she said.

  “You deliberately created this moment, didn’t you?” he teased.

  She laughed and tangled her fingers in a wisp of hair. “Oh yes I did … so, you better watch out mister!” Her eyes dropped to the grainy sand under them. “I love you too, Damon.”

  “And so it is.” His smile was tender.

  “And so it is,” she repeated.

  They sat in silence side by side on their beach towels, clasping hands and watching Ace swim. There was no need for words; all was perfect in their world for those precious moments.

  ***

  “Now remember,” Millie reminded her brother, “Not a word to dad about Damon staying on the couch, okay.”

  “Okay, I promise,” he reassured her.

  Ace didn’t understand why she had to keep reminding him of the same thing over and over. He rolled his eyes as he walked off to the lounge room to see what the television offered at 2pm on a Sunday.

  Millie hit the play button on the red rectangular boom box she kept in the corner of her room. She plopped back on her bed while Cyndi Lauper’s True Colours filtered through the stuffy air of the room. She felt like she was skimming lazily on a golden leaf along the calm waters of a blue lagoon filled with love and harmony. They were peaceful waters that to her felt deliciously endless. His close embrace still lingered on her skin, and she could still feel his lips as they pressed against hers and idled over her slender neck, kissing their way up to gently suck on the lobes of her ear. The intimate look in his eyes remained fresh in her mind. She wrapped her arms around her chest and shivered in pleasure. How sweet is life when love visits! she thought.

  She heard a car door out front slam shut with a robust bang, interrupting her daydream. Peering out the window, Millie caught a glimpse of her father as he walked briskly through the opened short gate of the front yard and bounded up the stairs to the porch.

  The front door slammed behind him. “Where are my beautiful children?” Glen bellowed.

  He dropped his overnight bag in the hall as Ace ran into his arms. A broad nose buried into his son’s hair as he held him. He shut his eyes as he breathed in the unique smell that was Ace.

  Millie lingered at the door to her bedroom. “Hi Dad.” She threw him a brief smile and bit down on her bottom lip. He’d kill me if he knew Damon stayed overnight! She silently prayed he wouldn’t see right through her.

  He released Ace and walked over to her. Oh my goodness he knows! she cried out to herself while her heart flipped. He enfolded her in a bear hug. “Hi Millie-pie. I missed you guys.”

  “We missed you too, Daddy” Millie said, feeling relieved. “How did it go?”

  Glen shrugged, and leaned down to fetch his overnight bag. “It went well, I think,” he said with a smile. “Boy, am I tired after that drive. How about pizza tonight?”

  “Yay! Yes, please!” Ace shouted.

  “It’s settled then. I’ll go clean up.” Glen retrieved his overnighter and made for his bedroom.

  Millie watched her father head down the hallway, mesmerised and unsettled as she noted the dark cloud that accompanied him. She felt a sudden sense of dread creep through her, clogging up her senses with a perception of fright. It was so overpowering that she felt nauseous. She followed her father to his room, curiosity beckoning her forward. And as she neared the half closed door, she could hear the sound of faint sobbing from within the room. She snuck up and peered through the crack in the door. She saw him doubled over and hunched on the floorboards in a corner of the room. Large hands cradled his head and pulled at his hair while he rocked back and forth on his heels, whimpering between sobs.

  “No more! No more!” he chanted over and over.

  Millie noiselessly entered the room, concerned. “Dad? What’s wrong?” She stood feeling helpless as his despair seeped into her as though it was her own.

  Glen glanced up startled, his eyes luminous with tears. He looked up at her as if in bewilderment. She noticed the shift in his eyes as they slowly adjusted and focused on her in the dim light.

  “Samantha?” he murmured.

  Millie moved a step closer. “Dad?” Who is Samantha? Her face scrunched up in confusion. She had never heard that name spoken between these walls before; the only Samantha she knew featured on a TV program called Bewitched – One of her favourite TV shows.

  He continued to stare at her as if seeing a ghost. “Samantha,” he whispered.

  “Dad, you’re scaring me?” Her eyes widened.

  He threw up his big hands in front of his eyes and he began to whimper and sob again as he lowered his head into bent knees. “I’m sorry, Samantha. I loved you … I’m sorry!” he repeated in an almost inaudible babble.

  The mass of his huge body crunched up in the corner of the room appeared odd and awkward to Millie. She had never seen him with such loss of control. Her heart beat faster as she struggled with what assailed her father. She rushed to his side and cradled his head in her arms, holding him close.

  “It’s okay, Dad,” she said, rocking with him. “It’s okay.”

  Tears began to sting her eyes and trail their way down her cheeks. She trembled at the thought of what might have happened to her father.

  Millie’s soothing words penetrated him like a bittersweet blade slicing through the dark serpent that gripped at his chest. His eyes were like ash after a fire as they settl
ed on Millie, and her presence began to dawn on him.

  “Millie?” The slightest sound fell from dry thick lips.

  He felt the dense coils of the serpent loosen, and he crumbled against Millie. His body began to shake as he wept and gulped for air. He could barely breathe as feelings of the hell that had captured him began to ease. He held onto Millie’s hands with desperation. For a few moments, the child became the carer, the rock on which he leaned and greedily fed. He quenched the fire with the grace that emanated from her. For a few moments Glen was free of the hatred that drove him to carry out unthinkable acts of violence. And for those moments, the light within him ignited again in rejoicing. His thirst for this light drained his daughter as she weakened and slumped down in exhaustion.

  Chapter Thirteen

  April 6, 1988

  D ear Journal,

  I realised today that it has been five months since my mother has left us. It’s funny how life just keeps going on. Each day had ended and each night has begun, over and over for five whole months without her bright blues eyes to watch over us, laugh with us, cuddle with us. She has missed Ace’s 9th birthday, my first real kiss and the unwelcome arrival of my period (I think Dad had a hard time dealing with that one!). The point is, as much as we are missing out on her, she is missing out on a whole lot more of us. Precious moments that can never be plucked out of a memory tree to relive and experience again. It has dawned on me more and more the consequences of her choice to leave us behind, and I find myself wondering at times how easy that decision had come to her. Did she look forward to a life without us? Is she missing us at all? Her silence is deafening, and if I allow myself to dwell upon it for too long at a time, her silence becomes unbearable. I have read her departing letter over a thousand and one times, just to be sure I haven’t missed anything important. Perhaps she meant to let me know when she’d return to us.

  Back in February, not long after my Dad went to Queensland and returned acting all kooky and calling me Samantha – Still don’t know what that was all about! The police came to our door looking for our mother. They had come to tell her that her parents had perished in an arson attack. Apparently there had been a series of these attacks on the Gold Coast, and later I saw on the news that the police had caught the people responsible for the fires. My father had been horrified. He explained to the police that she had left us and assumed she would have gone to stay with her parents.

  My poor grandparents. I wish I had got the chance to know them better.

  This leaves me baffled about two things: First of all, why wouldn’t my father tell me and Ace that our mother probably went to her parents? Maybe we could have tracked her down and convinced her to come home. And second, if my mother didn’t go to her parents, then where did she go?

  Between all of these thoughts, indeed life keeps going. And between all these thoughts, I often wonder who it is that observes the thoughts that seem to flow through my mind in a never-ending stream. Now, that is a thought to behold.

  Millie xo

  ***

  Balancing a crystal glass tumbler in each hand, Scott negotiated his short journey from the hull of his 37 foot Espirit Cruiser up to the top deck. The few scotch on the rocks he had already consumed, combined with the gentle rocking of the yacht, made for tricky navigation. Nevertheless, it was worth it when he reached the top of the stairs and caught a glimpse of her profile against the setting sun.

  She looked like his sweetest dream come true. There were times over the last few months when Scott had to pinch himself to convince himself it was real. And whether he was sleeping or awake, she remained at his side. He took a deep breath of sea air, and watched her with admiration. She was propped back on her elbows, lounging on the gloss white fibreglass of the bow. Her hair, swept back off her face, glowed gold in the light of the sunset. She wore a white lacy bikini bottom that barely concealed her small rounded buttocks. The bikini bottom was paired with a simple white cotton tank top over her breasts. Her petite face was frozen in the moment as she gazed into a horizon where a cerulean ocean met the smouldering orange of the sun. Scott drank in the image of her, which was more intoxicating than any beverage to wet his lips.

  They had been anchored off a group of islands in the Whitsundays, off the northern Queensland coast, for the last two days after following the tropical coastal waters of the reef south towards Rockhampton, their next port of call. He would need to stock up on supplies tomorrow at Airlie Beach and stay on the mainland for a night or two in the best hotel in town. There, Lilly would be able to try calling her folks again, a task that was becoming near impossible since their time at sea. Lilly had tried contacting them several times when on land with no success. Scott knew she was worried, but he kept her on the water for longer periods at a time as he did not want the outside world bursting through their intimate bubble of paradise. He could sail away with his lovely Lilly Pad, keeping her all to himself forever.

  However, Lilly had other plans, and her eyes betrayed her feelings as they reflected her restlessness and remorse while she gazed out at the calm glistening waters, as if they held the answers she wanted. Thoughts of her family were suspended when Scott leaned in behind her and handed her a tall tumbler filled with an icy cocktail concoction of tequila and grenadine mixed with freshly squeezed orange juice. She hung her head back and gave him a smile as he handed her the drink. She took it with eager lips, savouring the alcohol’s numbing warmth.

  Scott feathered little kisses on her neck, and tickled her ear lobe with his tongue.

  “A sunrise for your sunset, madam,” he said.

  He skimmed his eyes over her nipples straining beneath the flimsy fabric of her top. Lifting her chin with gentle fingers, he brought his lips down to hers. His kiss was deep, and she responded accordingly, allowing his yearning tongue to explore her mouth, returning his urge with her own passion. Freshly made drinks were forgotten as the arousal gained intensity. Her hands clutched his hair and gripped it with feverish fingers. She dared not let him go as desire raced through her. She felt the rock hard shaft concealed within black board shorts press against her thigh, and moaned while thoughts of him filling her roamed through her senses as a delicate, titillating tingle of pleasure seized between her legs. Legs parted willingly to the fingers that found their way down between her thighs. Lilly groaned when she felt the sensually exquisite touch they imparted on her, in her, as experienced hands lifted her to new heights. Golden hair draped the deck as he lowered her down and entered her. Hips lifted from the floor of the deck to feel as much of him inside her as she could, as she grinded against him while their bodies united in a raw embrace. She rocked with him, holding his body close as he thrust himself deep within her. Lilly wrapped her legs around his flexing buttocks and gripped him as she neared orgasm. She groaned in ecstasy at her climax, while he joined her in an erotic eruption. A growl of fulfilment passed his lips as he buried his head against the nape of her neck, panting and bathed in the glistening sweat of their love-making. He cradled her head in his arms while they recovered from their moment of ecstasy. They held onto each other, breathless as the yacht rocked with the tide and a red blaze was all that was left on the western horizon.

  Lilly looked up at him with sleepy eyes. A smile crossed her lips as she stretched, still buzzing with pleasure. She pulled herself up, reached for her drink and handed Scott his scotch.

  “The sunset was missed … but the sunrise is not,” she murmured, lifting her glass to clink against his.

  She turned and looked into the dark waters and lit a cigarette. Wearisome thoughts impinged into her bliss, extinguishing the lingering passion as she breathed in the smoke and took a sip from the glass balanced in her lap. How did I get here? Lilly thought, considering these new habits that had accompanied her new persona. She was aware she was drinking a little bit more than she should since they boarded Scott’s yacht, yet it seemed the only way to endure the days without her children. She considered the last few months since she ha
d left her parents’ home to join Scott at sea. Why could she not get through to their phone?

  It hadn’t taken long for her to decide to leave with Scott after their first meeting in the beer garden that December evening. He had pursued her with an intensity she had not experienced since Glen. He showed up at her folks’ house the next day with an arm swathed in flowers, chocolates and expensive white wine. Her parents had been pleased to see him after many years, and had invited him to join them for dinner that night. “He’s so handsome now,” her mother had whispered when they were serving up dinner in the kitchen. “He’s always had a crush on you, Lilly,” Margaret had added with a wink.

  Lilly couldn’t help but feel flattered by his affections for her, and she had confided this much to her mother. The more time she spent with Scott, the more she allowed herself to relax, revelling in the unwavering attention in which he bathed her. The freedom she had longed for had arrived, and she started to realise a new person lurking within her. Scott had an uncanny knack of making her feel like a woman, and the little girl inside her faded into the background of the woman she was born to be. It was easy to embrace the new Lilly without Glen’s overpowering shadow controlling her.

  One afternoon, Scott took her down to the docks at Southport and presented her with a new Espirit. His brows lifted as he told her of his plans to sail her away. She found the proposal tempting right from the start. He kissed her then, and when she looked into his expectant eyes, she knew that she would be safe with him.

  Lilly spent many hours deliberating on her next move before she gave him the answer he sought. She knew she couldn’t stay with her parents much longer, because as much as she loved them, they all needed their space. And what if Glen should look for her there? She started to relax more as the weeks passed. She figured if he was going to track her down, he would have called her folks by now. But he remained silent, and Lilly began to assume that Glen was going to let her go gracefully after all. However, despite this hope, a niggling feeling of dread remained, and she knew it would be better and safer for everyone if she left town.