A Man of Honor

by Miranda Liasson

  “How is he, Doc?” Preston blurted to the woman in scrubs and a white coat.

  “I’m Dr. Greenwood,” she said with a smile, shaking Preston’s and his father’s hands. “He’s going to be fine, Mr. Guthrie—and Mr. Guthrie,” she said as she turned to Preston’s father. Preston’s father had the decency to look appropriately grateful.

  “He was doing shots for his birthday,” she said. “Way too many shots. His friends found him at the bottom of some stairs, passed out and clammy, vomiting and unable to wake up. Thank God they knew to bring him in. We tanked him up with fluids and gave him glucose intravenously. One of his friends said he might have hit his head when he passed out, plus they weren’t sure if he fell down the stairs, so we got neck X-rays and a CT scan. Those were negative. We’re going to keep him overnight. He should be waking up sometime over the next couple hours.”

  Preston nodded, but he’d only heard the translation: Jared was going to be okay. He’d done something stupid, but he’d live to get over it and tell the tale. Hopefully as a caution to others.

  “Why don’t you go home, Vernon?” Preston said. “I’ll stay with him and take him home as soon as he’s able.”

  Vernon got up and stretched. “Think I’ll take you up on that, boy.” He took out his wallet. “I’m a little short on cab fare. Can you…”

  Preston had never been more eager to shove a couple twenties at him so he’d go away. He was about to hand them over, but at the last second he tightened his grip. “I need to tell you something,” he said. “I’ll pay for rehab anywhere in the country, and I honestly pray that you decide to return, but I will not continue to give you money to support your lifestyle. Is that clear?”

  “Yeah.” His father’s hands closed around the bills, and he laughed. “Clear as mud.” Chuckling, a sick, hollow cackle, he left out the door.

  Preston collapsed into a chair, relieved his father had left. His stomach felt like it was the barrel of a washing machine, spinning around and around. He couldn’t remember pain so bad it made him nauseated. There was nothing more he wanted than to sit with his brother until he woke up and thank every saint in heaven that his brother was going to be fine. But his father’s words kept churning in his head.

  Hopeful I could put my life together after the war. I wanted to be strong, but I just couldn’t. We destroy the people we love.

  There was not a Guthrie curse. Or a predestination for badness. Just because he shared blood with a man who had ruined his own life and his relationships with alcohol did not mean Preston was headed down the same path. Logically, Preston understood. He tried to summon Cat’s practical tone, and that way she looked at him, without judgment, like he could do anything he put his mind to.

  Then he looked at his achy, ugly leg. Would he ever run again? Do all the things he loved without hobbling along like a cripple? Be able to hold her in his arms and sail with her across a dance floor? Pick her up and carry her across a threshold? Not think that a ringing phone signaled a full-scale terrorist attack?

  She had said it was all right not to carry all your burdens alone, but how long would she have to suffer with him? Was it ever fair to make someone do that? Maybe his father was right. It was better not to care for anyone, to get through your shit by yourself so you didn’t drag anyone who cared down with you.

  “Mr. Guthrie, are you all right?” Preston looked up to see the doctor, her hand on his shoulder and a worried look on her face. He hadn’t heard her come in. “I just wanted to tell you we’re going to move you to another room down the hall where you can spend the next couple of hours. I can’t help but notice you don’t look very well.”

  He straightened up. Scrubbed a hand over his face. “I—I’m fine.” His problems could wait. He wasn’t about to leave Jared’s side. And Cat. How was he going to call Cat back here when he was like this?

  “Are you sure?” she asked. “You look pale and sweaty. We don’t want you passing out, too.”

  She was smiling. A kind doctor, one he might trust. He didn’t want any of this to be about him, but she was right. He did feel about to pass out, and if that happened, it sure wouldn’t do Jared any good. He blew out a big breath and caved. “I’m a vet with a chronic knee injury. I’ve been at a wedding all weekend, and I think I did something really bad to it.”

  “Let me have a look, all right?”

  He nodded and undid his brace. As she examined his knee, Preston tipped his head back in the chair and glanced at the TV screen mounted high in the corner of the room, struggling not to focus on the pain. An action movie played, with guys running and jumping, bombs blowing up and vehicles catching on fire. He grabbed the bedside remote and turned the volume to mute. He had enough noise rolling around his brain. His dad might be long gone, but his voice had taken up living in Preston’s head.

  …

  Cat felt the eyeballs staring before she saw her family talking among themselves in the corner as she walked into the lodge for the next morning’s brunch and headed straight for the giant coffee dispenser. She envied Maddie and Nick, already on the way to the Greek islands for their honeymoon. The women of her family were waiting to pounce and get the scoop about her night. She wasn’t certain what all she would tell.

  Not that it hadn’t been the greatest night of her life—up until that phone call. Preston and she had connected—finally, finally—and every moment with him had been intense and all-consuming and a zillion times better than she’d ever imagined it would be.

  But. A warning bell jangled through her sense of well-being. Maybe it had started with the wild look in his eyes when the phone rang and he’d grabbed that knife. Or maybe it was his exhausted, dispassionate voice when he told her he’d called one of his drivers to take her home from the hospital. He’d wanted to stay with his brother, felt it was unfair to make her wait, and didn’t want her driving back in the middle of the night after so little sleep. She felt fine, but he seemed awfully preoccupied about something, so she’d just gone with it. She knew how upset she’d be if something had happened to one of her sisters or her brother and didn’t want to give him extra worry. But he’d seemed almost…disconnected, and that had started a tiny pebble of worry that was starting to snowball into a boulder.

  She checked her phone to see if Preston had sent her an update on Jared’s condition. Nothing. It had been difficult to wake up after so little sleep, but she had to make an appearance at breakfast or she would never live this down. She’d texted Preston as soon as she’d awakened, but no response.

  He’s just busy, she told herself. Still, that same feeling of unease had crept insidiously into her bones, a sense that after the spectacular night they’d had, something was off kilter.

  It was probably just that she’d been burned before, by Robert and even by Preston himself. But things were different now, weren’t they? They’d started to work things out. Even as she gave herself a pep talk, her grandmother’s voice whispered in her ear, you can’t change people. Cat herself had never had a suspicious nature, but she almost expected something to go wrong after her bad history with men.

  She was suddenly surrounded by her sister and sister-in-law, both wearing Cheshire grins. “We want to know details,” Jenna said.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cat said.

  Liz got in her face. “Don’t try to hide it. You’ve got that look.”

  “What look?”

  “That look like you’ve been up all night being naughty,” Jenna said.

  “That look like you finally got some, and it was really, really good,” Liz added. “Besides, we saw you two leave together last night looking very cozy.”

  “Let’s sit down before Brady comes over here,” Liz said, taking an anxious look around.

  “Do you have a thing for him or something?” Jenna asked Liz.

  “Of course not,” Liz said, grabbing Cat by the elbow and steering her to a long table where family was gathered. “But when he knew he couldn’t have you, he de
cided to try to hook up with me.”

  “Eww,” Cat said.

  “Don’t worry. I can handle him. I was trying to be nice, but he’s not getting the hint.”

  On the way to the table, Cat looked up to see Preston at the door. Her face immediately heated just thinking of last night.

  “Wow, you’ve got it bad,” Liz said.

  Cat shook her head. “No, it’s just—just that—well, we got some things settled, and I feel really great about everything. And hopeful for the future.” Yes, of course she did. What could possibly have changed from a few hours ago?

  Preston approached and greeted her and the other women, then pulled Cat aside. Dark shadows circled his eyes, and stubble covered his face. His heavy brows were knit into a frown.

  “How’s your brother?” Cat asked.

  “He’s fine. He’s at my place resting.”

  “Then why do you look so upset?” The tiredness wasn’t what disturbed her. He had a wound-up tension about him. She could tell by his posture, the lines of strain in his face, and the way he fidgeted with the spoon in his coffee.

  Preston sighed and looked at Cat. “My father was there. He never went back to rehab.”

  “Oh. Well, that could be a good thing, right? That he was there for your brother?”

  “He’s an angry, bitter man. Always spouting off about something. Everything’s always more about him than anyone else.”

  Cat rested a hand on his arm. “It’s a good thing Jared’s got you instead.”

  Preston shrugged. “I hope so.”

  “Did your father…say anything that upset you?” Just a feeling she had that he was holding something back.

  “Look, Cat, my father is always bad news. But he made me realize something. People with problems drag other people down. Relationships suffer. I’ve always known that. Hell, I grew up knowing that. I should know better than to make the same mistakes my father did.”

  “You’re nothing like your father.”

  “How do you know that when I don’t even know that?”

  “Because I know.” He drew away from her touch.

  “Look, about last night…”

  Oh God, no. Those were three words that could never lead to anything good. Please don’t. Not now. Not when all of their family and friends were here. Not when she’d finally thought everything was perfect. “W-what about last night?”

  “We—went kind of fast. Maybe we should—”

  “Oh, hello, Preston,” Cat’s mom said. “Is everything all right? Cat said you had a family emergency.”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Kingston,” Preston said. “Everything’s fine.”

  “Can I bring you a plate, dear?”

  “I’ll go up in a minute, thanks.”

  “The wedding was so magical. You all looked so lovely.”

  “Speaking of wedding magic,” Jenna said, pointing to Cat and Preston, “maybe you two will be the next couple to the altar.”

  Cat saw Preston stiffen. He put up his hands. “That’s not going to happen,” he said. His voice was low but Cat was sure at least Liz, who was on the other side of Preston, heard.

  Preston must have seen something in Cat’s face as she processed the comment he’d blurted out so quickly. He tried to backpedal. “I mean we—we’re a long way off from that.”

  Cat’s face flushed. Liz and Jenna shot her concerned looks. She tried to make light of it by flipping her hand in a careless wave. “Yeah, really guys, give us a break. I mean, c’mon, we just started dating.”

  Liz steered the conversation to another topic. Cat couldn’t say which one due to the noise of all the blood whooshing through her ears. Be reasonable, she told herself. Of course he’s going to be reluctant. After all, they’d just spent one night together. The best night of her life. Maybe it hadn’t been like that for him.

  “I’m going to get more coffee,” she said as cheerily as she could. “Anyone else like some?”

  As she walked away, her mind replayed what had happened last night. Everything had been so amazing. For the first time, she’d lost her inhibitions. Hadn’t felt like she was acting out a script. Could that have possibly been all one-sided?

  Preston met her at the coffee station. For the first time, she noticed he was walking slower than usual, and his limp was more pronounced. Dammit, she couldn’t stop her hands from shaking as she poured another cup. He finally set the cup down himself and took up her hands.

  His voice sounded soft and compassionate. She knew from the tone what was coming. “Cat, listen. I—this is too new. You can’t expect me to want to shout it from the mountaintops right now. I need some time.”

  Suddenly off balance, Cat thrust her hand out behind her to grasp the table, tipping the coffee in the process. For a few seconds, she was mesmerized by the spreading stain as it engulfed the clean white linen.

  She looked at Preston. He was unshaved, his hair rumpled. What the hell had happened in that hospital? Maybe under other circumstances she would simply let it pass. She’d understood and forgiven him for being too proud to share his pain with her, but she was done with acting like a doormat whose primary purpose was to please other people instead of herself.

  “You need time?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady, even though she felt like she was going to hurl at any moment. Maybe he would explain this. Maybe it wasn’t what she thought.

  “I—I screwed up my knee somehow this weekend. The docs checked it out last night, and it looks like my surgery’s got to get moved up pretty fast.”

  “Oh. You’re upset about your leg and your brother. You’ve been up all night. I—”

  “What I’m saying is I need some time by myself. I—I don’t want to make a public announcement right now that we’re together. I think it’s best if—”

  “Wait a minute. You took me home with you last night, and now you don’t want to acknowledge what everyone already knows? You’re ashamed that you slept with me? You couldn’t be pushing me away again because that would be impossible.”

  Preston looked around. Her family was staring in their direction. “No—it’s not like that. I—I had to take the pain medication after I got back from the ER. I didn’t want to, but I had no choice.”

  “You were in that much pain, and you didn’t even tell me?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

  “Preston, my God, it’s okay to take medicine when you need it.” She waited until he finally made eye contact. “It doesn’t mean you’re going to become an addict like your father.”

  Suddenly, everything she’d been through with him over the past year welled up inside her. She’d ridden the roller-coaster ride for a long time and she thought that last night, she’d finally gotten off. She couldn’t get back on again. She couldn’t spend more time wondering if he cared about her. And she needed to tell him that right now. “All I’ve ever done from the moment I saw you at that wedding last September was love you. Yes, Preston, I love you, and I’m sure that’s going to send you running even further away. If you plan to wait and solve all your problems and then come looking for me, I won’t be here. I can’t live my life waiting for you to love me back.”

  “Is everything all right here?” Derrick had stepped up to the coffee table. Behind him, her parents, grandmother, Liz, and Jenna were gathered with apprehensive looks on their faces.

  “No, actually, Derrick, it’s not,” Cat said. Preston had the decency to look uncomfortable. “We lied to you. Turns out we’re not dating after all. We were just trying to cover up that uncomfortable position you found us in last week. I’m sorry I lied.”

  Derrick’s brows knit down, and he stared at Preston, but he didn’t say anything. For now. Cat didn’t really give him any time to respond, because she was on a roll, and she couldn’t stop. “Grandmeel, I left that job interview in Charlotte last week. Do you know why? I hate being a journalist. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hunting down stories. I want t
o be a teacher. An underpaid, overworked, happy teacher. I’m going back to school, and I’ll find a job to pay my way.”

  The concerned faces of her family stared at her, the crazy woman who was making a scene. Preston moved forward, but she put out her hand to stop him. “I’ll be fine. You see, unlike you, I’m not afraid to lean on my family and friends. They may not like all my decisions, but I know they’ll still love me in the end.”

  She got two steps away when she spun to face Preston again. “By the way,” she said, “I really hope everything goes okay with your knee, but I think it’s time you took my picture out of your wallet.”

  Cat walked out of the lodge and got halfway through the parking lot before she realized her car was in a hospital parking lot in Charlotte somewhere. Fortunately, Liz was behind her, holding up a car key. “This way, babe,” she said, tipping her head over to where her own car was parked.

  Cat managed to get into the car before the tears started leaking out. “Oh my God, I’ve made a scene. Thank God Nick and Maddie are long gone.”

  Liz put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You finally told everyone exactly how you feel. Besides, Nick and Maddie are on their honeymoon. The last thing they’re thinking about is us.”

  “I’ve ruined the breakfast. Everyone was happy. I should have kept my big mouth shut.”

  “Nah, I don’t think it’s completely ruined.”

  “Why not?”

  “Once Derrick beats up on Preston, everyone will feel much better.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lacey walked into Preston’s office at Kingston Shoes and put a cup of coffee on his desk.

  He looked up from his Monday morning paperwork. “You never bring me coffee.” Derrick never laid a hand on him after the breakfast yesterday, but Preston must look pretty beat up anyway if Lacey was going out of her way to do things for him. Actually, he might feel better if Derrick had roughed him up. Anything was better than feeling his acute disappointment in their friendship.