New Leaves, No Strings (Austin Erotic Romance Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  I staggered backwards and leaned on the bedroom wall. I didn’t know where to start to respond. The fact that he hadn’t talked to me about finding the kit, let alone how he’d found it, that he’d somehow found out my parents address and driven all the way there or that he’d then gone on to see Kai, who’d blatantly lied to him. I ran my hands over my eyes, this was too many emotions to handle at once.

  ‘I should’ve known after our first few times, the way you fuck, you couldn’t have been a virgin,’ he finally spat, angrily.

  I gasped as I looked at him in horror, his words and anger cutting me to the bone. How could he believe Kai over me? How could he say something like that to me?

  ‘So you’ve nothing to say to me Mia? Was I really just another fuck to you? Was that all this was? I was just another notch on your bedpost after all?’

  ‘I’m not lying Gabe, Kai is. I was a virgin, I’m not pregnant and I really don’t appreciate your accusatory tone or derogatory insults.’ I stood up straight, facing him and crossed my arms. I was shaking I was so angry with him, so much for trusting each other.

  ‘I’m not stupid Mia, the dizzy spells, the fainting, the moodiness. Your cramps today and this positive test. You obviously figured I have some money and you thought you’d try and pass it off as mine did you?’ He stepped towards me glaring.

  ‘I’m not pregnant Gabe, you were my first,’ I yelled.

  ‘Right sure, you’ve probably been fucking Milo too while you’ve been doing me,’ he yelled back and put his hands on his hips as his face went scarlet.

  I reacted instantly and slapped him hard across the cheek, right on his existing bruise.

  ‘How dare you Gabe. Like I’d even have the fucking time. You’re so bloody emotionally childish, needy and insecure that you won’t even leave my side long enough for me to breathe, let alone for me to try and find the time to fuck anyone else.’

  We stood glaring at each other as he rubbed his face and winced. I was furious, but I shouldn’t have said that, that was crossing a line. Why did I say that?

  ‘I thought we were good Mia, what we had … I really thought we had something special. How could you do this to me? Was it really all just about sex, about you using me? Were you going to try and pretend it was mine?’ he asked quietly. This time I could hear the hurt in his voice but I didn’t care, I was still fuming.

  ‘You’re not listening to me, I’m not bloody pregnant and I’ve had enough of this shit. Now get the hell out of my house. Get OUT,’ I shouted at him pointing at the door.

  I jumped as it suddenly flew open and Lexi marched in, pushed me back and stood between us, facing off against him.

  ‘Back the fuck off her, RIGHT now,’ she barked at him and shoved him back into my dressing table, my perfume bottles rattling as it wobbled.

  ‘Lexi, get out this has nothing to do with you,’ he growled as he steadied himself and glared at her.

  ‘It has everything to do with me Gabe, because it’s not Mia who’s pregnant, it’s me. I’m the bloody pregnant one ok? So back off.’

  I heard him gasp as I felt tears starting to pour down my face and I backed up against the wall to let it hold me up.

  ‘But Kai, he told me … he confirmed it Lexi,’ I heard Gabe whisper.

  ‘Kai’s a bloody arsehole Gabe. If you showed up on his door making accusations, he obviously put two and two together and decided to stick it to you both. He hated that Mia wouldn’t sleep with him, so he lied to you to get back at her. Mia’s been completely honest with you, she was a virgin, you were her first and you’re her only. She’s fucking crazy about you. You really think she’d look at anyone else? Look what you’ve done to her, she’s in bloody tears.’

  ‘O fuck Lexi, what have I done?’ he groaned, as I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my sleeve.

  ‘You’ve fucked up big time Gabe that’s what and you’d better apologise right now.’

  ‘O my god, I’m so sorry, I so fucking sorry,’ I heard him moan.

  ‘Don’t bloody tell it to me, tell her if she’ll listen and I wouldn’t blame her if she told you to fuck off,’ snapped Lexi.

  I looked up as she came over and put her arms around me.

  ‘Do you want me to give you two a minute? You don’t have to talk to him you know, if you want him gone and I’ll make sure he goes. It’s your choice.’

  I glanced over her shoulder through my tears and saw Gabe sitting at my dressing table, his head in his hands.

  'I need a minute with him, is that ok?’ I sniffed.

  ‘Sure, I’ll just be in my room ok,’ she kissed my head. ‘If I hear you fucking shout at her one more time, I’m coming right back in and you’re outta here,’ she barked at Gabe as she left and closed the door behind her. I wiped away my tears as I heard his voice, I could hear it was breaking.

  ‘Have I lost you?’ he whispered.

  ‘You’ve really hurt me. You just …’ I didn’t know where to start. Accusing me of lying, being pregnant, virtually calling me a slapper, visiting my family and Kai.

  ‘I know, I’m so sorry, I just reacted. You’ve got to understand the thought of you with someone else, pregnant by someone else … I died inside, I … ’ he choked up and couldn’t finish his sentence.

  I finally lifted my head and we looked at each other. He looked in so much pain, but I was still so angry at him I was finding it hard to empathise.

  ‘So you just run off? Without even talking to me?’ I whispered.

  ‘I was so upset and angry, I’m so sorry Mia,’ he got up and moved towards me and put his hand out to touch me.

  ‘Don’t, I can’t.’ I quickly moved away to another section of wall, out of his reach.

  ‘Baby please,’ he implored and I shook my head. He flopped down on the edge of the bed and I stood across from him and worked my way down the wall until I was on the floor and hugged my knees to my chest. I looked at him sitting on my bed, he looked young and vulnerable again as he wiped tears from his eyes.

  ‘I can’t lose you Mia, not you too.’

  I bit my lip, I felt sorry for him, knowing he must be hurting, but his words still stung. I looked down at my knees.

  ‘Gabe, what you said to me, that I couldn’t be a virgin. You really think I’m a … a slapper?’ I whispered.

  ‘No never think that, never,’ he uttered. ‘I just … god Mia sex with you is so good and after Kai told me all about your sex life with him, it just seemed to make sense. How could someone with no experience be like that? So good and so open to experimentation? I just reacted badly after seeing the pregnancy test. It all stacked up Mia, the test, the cramps, the moods and dizziness. I believed everything in front of me and assumed that you’d lied.’

  ‘I was adventurous and eager because I was with you Gabe. I tried so hard because I wanted to be better than all your other girls, I wanted to please you,’ I whispered as I wiped my face when more tears started rolling.

  ‘You do please me Mia, I’ve never had it as good as it is with you, we’re perfect together. Christ … if you knew how it felt to have Kai tell me to my face that he’d been with you first, to tell me in graphic detail all the different ways you liked it … it was like my world was coming apart at the seams. The thought of you and him together … him kissing and touching you, having what we have …’ he broke off and looked at me hurt. ‘You just can’t begin to understand how painful that was for me.’

  ‘I know exactly how that feels Gabe. You’ve had hundreds of women before me. You think that doesn’t affect me? You’ve probably slept with half of the girls at Uni, but I’ve never called you anything derogatory, I’ve never put you down.’

  ‘God I’m so sorry,’ he groaned as he put his head in his hands again. ‘They were nothing to me Mia, I didn’t know you then. If we’d have met sooner there would never have been anyone else Mia. I fell in love with you, I love you.’

  ‘Maybe you do love me Gabe, but it still doesn’t excuse what you’ve done. You ignored me all
day. You turned up at my families for christ’s sake.’ I put my fingers to my temples and sighed heavily. ‘You’re so out of order. How did you even know where I lived? I’ve never told you.’

  ‘I went to reception, told them that there was a medical situation and I needed to drive you straight home. They printed me off a route planner and wrote down the address for me.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I sighed and shook my head in despair. There were just no boundaries with him, it was unacceptable.

  ‘As soon as I got your address I left, I just had to go and confront him and find out if it was true.’

  ‘You couldn’t have just asked me? Talked to me?’

  ‘After what happened with your pains today, finding the pregnancy stick and looking back at things, it seemed to make so much sense. I couldn’t ask you, I couldn’t bear the thought of looking into your eyes to have you tell me it was true.’

  ‘Gabe for god’s sake.’ I ran my hands through my hair, I was so angry and frustrated with him. ‘So you just packed up and went? It’s over a three hour drive, each way.’

  ‘It took me just under, I was feeling motivated to get an answer.’

  ‘O god, please tell me that you didn’t tell my mother I was pregnant?’ I asked looking up at him with horror.

  ‘No of course not, I just told her I was an old friend of yours and Kai’s, that we’d lost touch. I figured she could direct me.’

  I sighed again and rubbed my forehead, it had been a heavy day and I had a pounding headache.

  ‘So she just handed out Kai’s address? Just like that to a total stranger?’

  ‘I have a nice smile and a charming manner,’ he smiled sheepishly at me, I didn’t respond back in kind. I flashed him a now is not the time glare instead and he wilted under it. ‘He was in when I got there,’ he sighed.

  ‘So what? You just show up on his doorstep and say “Hey are you the guy that knocked up Mia?” Is that what you did?’

  ‘No, not exactly.’

  ‘How exactly?’ I asked as he shifted uncomfortably on the bed. ‘How?’

  ‘I accused him of getting you pregnant and asked him what he was going to do about it. He talked about you disrespectfully, so I punched him and we had a tussle.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I snapped. ‘Jesus christ. No wonder he lied to you. I was with him for months and never slept with him. How would you have felt if it’d been you? Finding out five minutes after leaving I’d hooked up with another guy and had sex.’

  ‘Mia he was such an arsehole. He was telling me all the ways you and he’d done it and how much you loved it and when he called you a dirty bitch ... I just saw red.’

  ‘God is he still in one piece?’

  ‘Seriously you’re worried about him?’ he exclaimed.

  ‘I’m worried about what may happen to you depending on the state you left him in. I see he got a punch in,’ I nodded at his cheek.

  ‘It was just a retaliatory one,’ he sighed as he rubbed his face. ‘I just had to get one punch in to make myself feel better, he was so disrespectful about you.’

  ‘And do you feel better?’

  ‘I feel better for seeing you now and knowing that you’re ok,’ he said quietly.

  ‘I’m so far from ok at the moment Gabe, I’m fucking livid with you,’ I hissed.

  We sat in silence for a few minutes staring at each other, obviously both trying to process things.

  ‘You think I’m too childish and needy? That I’m insecure and I don’t let you breathe?’ he whispered eventually.

  ‘I was angry Gabe, you said some really mean things to me. I wanted to hurt you back.’ I barely heard him as he dropped his head to his chest and whispered

  ‘Are you going to break up with me?’

  I knew he couldn’t bear to look me in the eyes when I answered, he was too scared of what he might see.

  ‘I don’t know Gabe. I don’t know how I feel right now. You need to understand that this wasn’t ok. None of this was ok, ignoring me, visiting my family, none of it.’

  He lifted his head and looked at me with such despair in his eyes, but that only made me close mine, I couldn’t look at him like that, all broken again.

  ‘I know that Mia. Give me another chance and I promise I’ll never do anything like this again. I’ll talk to you, I’ll trust you, I promise you that. I love you so much, you’re everything to me Mia, don’t shut me out please,’ he pleaded. ‘I love you baby.’

  This wasn’t the Gabe I knew, he’d turned into someone meek, needy and vulnerable, which made my chest hurt. I knew that he meant it, but I was still raw from the metaphorical punches he’d given me.

  ‘You shut me out, left me hurting all day Gabe,’ I said looking at him and letting him see how wounded I was. ‘I think you’d better go, I’m drained and we’re seeing the doctor about Lexi in the morning so I have an early start.’

  ‘I need to be with you, to make sure you’re ok.’

  ‘No Gabe,’ I bit. ‘I’m still angry, I’m so fucking angry with you.’ I felt tears stinging my eyes again.

  ‘You have to know that no matter how mad I was, or how pissed I was at you, I never once thought of leaving you when I thought you were pregnant,’ he whispered. ‘I was furious, but I would’ve stayed for you, with you, whatever you would’ve done with the baby. I love you that much Mia.’

  He stood up and came towards me again and I quickly scrambled up onto my feet and slipped away out of my bedroom door and he followed me into the hall.

  ‘Baby please, don’t do this, don’t walk away,’ he begged. ‘We’re so good together.’

  ‘Good? You think this is good Gabe?’ I exclaimed as I hugged myself. ‘I never wanted this, I never wanted a bloody relationship and this is why. I’m hurting so badly because of you. No, this is so far from good, I want you to leave, now.’

  I shook my head as he tried to approach me again and quickly opened the door to Lexi’s room and backed inside knowing he’d never follow me in there. As I closed the door on him, his face looked as if he’d just died a little. I leaned back on the wall and put my hands over my eyes trying to erase the painful sight of the utter devastation his face as I’d shut him out. I had to convince myself not to run out into his arms, to feel his embrace and taste the softness of his lips and lose myself in him. I wanted to punish him, to deliberately hurt him the way he’d hurt me.

  ‘Mia?’ came Lexi’s soft voice. ‘Are you ok?’

  I looked over at her, she was sat up in bed, cross legged on top the duvet and I just knew that she’d been sat there waiting, in case I needed her. I ran over to her bed and climbed up and this time I put my head in her lap and cried as she comforted me.

  ‘Lex this is so awful. This was supposed to be easy, casual sex with no strings. How did it turn into this nightmare? How did I end up getting so hurt again?’ I sobbed.

  Mia, Lexi and Gabe’s story continues in the Austin Series follow up

  Baggage and Buttons

  Table of Contents

  Monday

  Tuesday

  Wednesday

  Thursday

  Friday

  Saturday

  Sunday

  Monday

  Tuesday

  Wednesday