Touch the Sky (Free Fall Book 1)
Page 21
While I’m glad he feels comfortable talking to me about this, discussing my sex life with him isn’t something I’m in the mood to do. With Chris it’s all roses and hearts and love. With me it’s ass and hands and mouths. Big difference in what we’re looking for.
“There were plenty of guys.” I wink. “So many, in fact, I feel like I’d be doing them a disservice if I got serious about any of them. Who buys the first car they test drive?” That’s what going off to school was about for me. Yes, there’s the education, but I really wanted to live and experience all the shit I couldn’t while at home. I’m the only queer guy in my small town—the only one I know of, anyway—and I never had an opportunity to experience much of anything before leaving for San Fran.
Portland, which isn’t far away, has a great gay population, but it wasn’t always easy for me to get there when I was younger.
Chris has always been sympathetic to my situation in Coburn, but my brand of loneliness isn’t something he can really understand. It’s easier not to mention it much.
Still, he’s really the only person I have in my life who wants to be there for me. He never gave a shit that he was hanging out with not only the only gay kid in town, but the only black kid, too. He was my boy from the start and I was his. Reason number two I need to end my obsession with the oldest Baxter son. They’re like family to me, or at least they’ve always accepted me as such.
More laughter from the other side of the room. Nearly everyone at the party is congregating around Levi and he’s making the holiday party all the merrier, soaking up being the center of everyone’s universe.
“He’s such a fucking bastard. Always has to be in the middle of everything,” Chris says, each of his words making me feel guiltier and guiltier, because as much as he can’t stand his brother, and as much as I love Chris, I understand the draw of Levi. There’s something about him, and even after all these years, I have to grudgingly admit that it’s still pulling me in, too.
***
It’s a couple hours later when I’m sitting in the yard on a two-person swing. We got lucky and ended up with a few hours of sunshine—something that doesn’t happen often during December in Oregon—so I’m soaking it in.
We ate a while ago. The party has thinned out a bit, and Chris went to the store with his mom. My dad isn’t here. The Baxters invited him—they always do, and he always appreciates it—but he likes being alone too much. He has ever since Mom left us. He never got over losing her, and if that’s what losing someone does to a guy, count me the fuck outta ever being in a serious relationship.
There’s movement on the side of the house, a flash of color, and I look up and see Levi kneeling, his back against the house and his face buried in his hands.
What the hell?
It almost looks like he’s rocking, like his hands are knotted in his hair. Then, just like that, he pushes to his feet, straightens out his clothes, and turns around.
His eyes land on me instantly. And then…he smiles, his body language one hundred percent different than it was a minute ago.
In long, confident strides, Levi makes his way to me, making me wonder if I misjudged what I’d seen.
He’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt that hugs his chest and arms and a pair of loose jeans riding low on his hips. Dude, I love that. Love seeing the edge of a guy’s boxers sticking out over his jeans and rubbing my tongue along the seam.
“How’s it goin’ T-Rex? Enjoying your sophomore year?” He plops down onto the seat beside me, his arm, hot and hard, brushes against mine. He doesn’t move and I sure as hell don’t move because he’s gorgeous and I definitely don’t mind a gorgeous guy touching me. I do, however, wish he didn’t call me T-Rex.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Dinosaurs, man. That’s all I have to say. You were what, ten or eleven when we met you? I think you were obsessed with dinosaurs until you were at least sixteen.”
“Fuck off.” But what he’s said is pretty close to the truth. I used to want to be a paleontologist, which is funny considering I’m now an English major. Plus, those aren’t the kind of bones I’m into anymore, but it was a good aspiration for a kid.
“Embarrassed?” he teases, his voice a little softer than it usually is.
“No. And I was fourteen when I stopped liking dinosaurs. You can give it up now.” There’s nothing like the object of your fantasies seeing you as nothing more than a kid who he calls T-Rex.
“Aww, but I like to call you T-Rex.” Levi wraps an arm around my neck, and then pretends to ruffle my nonexistent hair. I keep it cut short enough that his attempt is impossible. And yeah, did I mention he treats me like a fucking kid?
“Get off.” I shove his arm away and Levi lets me.
“I’m just giving you shit. It’s good to see you.”
First, if he wanted to see me, it wouldn’t be hard considering he’s at Stanford School of Medicine and I’m thirty miles away at San Francisco State University. And second, I wish he was thinking it’s good to see me naked, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. “Yeah, it’s good to be home.”
Levi laughs humorlessly. “If you say so.”
At that, I turn to face him. That’s not something I would ever expect Levi to say. Yeah, everyone’s always known Levi’s too big for Coburn, but I thought he’d always loved home, too. Ever since he was a kid we all knew he’d grow up to be a big-shot doctor like his dad. Levi’s the guy who has everything and everyone loves him, so I’m not sure why he would hate being back here temporarily. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He doesn’t answer right away. As he runs a finger over a seam on the swing’s arm, he’s almost subdued—like he’s a different guy than the one who was laughing and joking earlier, a different guy than the one I’ve always known. “Nothing. Ignore me, T-Rex. I’ll catcha later, yeah?” Without waiting for me to reply, Levi gets up and walks away, and I’m still sitting here trying to figure out what in the hell happened.