I Am Gamer

by Gabriel L Rathweg

  “Well Freak that explains why we’re alone, it’s only another six miles to the summit camp, want to head out?” I rhetorically asked my companion.

  “Mreeooww!” Freak responded.

  I smiled and shook my head, sometimes I knew he was just responding to my voice but man… I wasn’t one of those crazy pet owners that thought their animals could understand them. Although sometimes when I was high… never mind.

  TRACK 3 – BITCH, DON’T KILL MY VIBE – KENDRICK LAMAR

  I was hammer faced. The combination of booze and bud was really kicking in and just in time too. The sun was setting and from my camp the sunset was absolutely amazing. The sky had darkened and slowly changed to a kaleidoscope of pinks, purples, oranges, blues, and reds. It was as if a master painter was painting a masterpiece just for me or at least my substance addled mind thought so.

  The sun finally set and I took another swing from my bottle of Jack then stumble turned back towards my camp. I looked over my domain swaying slightly, just slightly, and smiled. Roughly twelve hours had passed since I started my day. I had made good time up the mountain. It was really easy climbing alone, well with just me and Freak. The camp had been setup and the fire was made before I had gotten too piss drunk and high. The hike from Barr Camp only took about four hours so there had been plenty of time to get things done.

  Since everything had been done for hours I was sitting on a log by the fire sipping on my second bottle of Jack. My plan had been to drink and smoke myself into a forgetful stupor and then try to figure out a new plan in the morning.

  “Ho the camp!” A voice called out.

  I looked around and didn’t see anything in the growing darkness.

  “I said, Ho the camp.” The voice called again.

  This time I looked down at my bottle and joint, was I hearing shit? No, that was definitely a voice. Shaking my head I peered around one more time to make sure someone was there and then I saw him walking towards me in the twilight.

  “Holy shit…” I trailed off, standing up and dropping the joint in my hand. Luckily, I had the presence of mind to grab the bottle of JD tighter. “You’re Willie Nelson?”

  “No man.” The stranger laughed. “I’m not Willie Nelson. Are you gonna pick that up? That’s drug abuse you know.”

  I stared blankly at not Willie Nelson mouth agape as he gestured to the burning jay on the ground. My befuddled mind took in the man’s features and realized after some time it wasn’t Willie Nelson, it just looked a lot like him. Long gray hair in duel braids under a beat up old cowboy hat. He wore a Native American multi colored poncho and dusty worn out blue jeans. Cowboy boots, but really nice shiny black ones, covered his feet completing the ensemble. My eyes focused enough to take in his tanned and wrinkled face noticing he was much more ethnic than Willie.

  What he said finally clicked so I bent down and picked up the still burning joint. By the time I had straightened up the man was sitting on a rock across the fire from me.

  “Mind if I join you?” The man asked.

  I nodded dumbly in the affirmative as he was already sitting.

  “You gonna share the firewater and peace plant?” He asked, eyes lighting up at mention of both.

  Glancing down at both items I then looked up and handed both to the stranger. I don’t know what it was but his voice just made him seem nice. It was like I had known him my whole life. Have you ever me someone and they just exuded charm like it was a tangible thing? This guy did that.

  “Sit down, sit down let’s enjoy these together. Vices are meant to be partaken with friends.” The stranger said, waving me down with his now full hands.

  I was at that point of my inebriation that this all seemed normal and all suggestions were good ones. Sitting down in my original spot he handed me the Jack back and I sipped. Freak had joined us and was rubbing himself against the man’s leg like a prostitute. He really knew no shame he’d love on anyone who’d pet him.

  “Thank you for letting me use your fire and for your hospitality. The contract is now struck.” The stranger intoned.

  “Um…” I must have heard that wrong. “Yeah… no problem man.” I replied.

  “My name is Coyote but my friends call me Colt. What’s your name?” He asked holding the joint out to me and his other hand to shake.

  “My name is Lawrence, my friends call me Larry.” I replied, reaching one hand to out to shake and grabbing the joint with the other.

  I realized at the same moment that my hand for shaking had the bottle in it. Colt, not being dismayed in the slightest accepted the bottle and handed me the joint with a smile. I completed the transaction and took a puff of the joint while he swigged the bottle.

  “Well Larry, as the first part of the contract I am giving you a new nickname, Larry sounds like a pedophiles name. Are you a pedophile?” Colt asked, swigging the bottle again he grinned at my mortified expression and continued. “Don’t worry I know you’re not. Your new nickname is Law. ”

  He pronounced it like it was final as I puffed on the joint. He said that word contract again. I handed him the joint and he passed the bottle back. This whole conversation and encounter was just weird. I know I was fucked up but come on.

  “Coyote…” I started.

  “Call me Colt, as I said Law, my friends call me Colt, and we’re friends right?” Colt asked suddenly with much more intensity.

  I sensed more to the question than what he was asking and eyed him a little warily as I sipped.

  “Yeah Colt… we’re friends.” I said finally.

  “Good.” He grinned, his teeth surprisingly white and more than a little sharp.

  His demeanor had switched back to overly friendly and I squinted at him over the fire. The light had all gone away and it was night now the stars and moon were shining brightly. I thought I caught his eyes glowing but when I looked again they were normal. Man I was fucked up.

  “So Law,” he pointedly said, “what brings you out along on this beautiful Colorado night?

  “I just wanted to get away.” I replied instinctively.

  “Oh come on now. There has to be more to it than that.” He prodded.

  Something about the tone and cadence of his voice made me want to talk to him. Also, the only person I had talked to was Mikey and that was just for a few minutes on the phone. I found myself laying out the entire story of what happened and more. He was the perfect listener, interjecting and nodding at just the right points. He kept me talking it was like he was pulling the story out of me and I was giving it to him willingly. It wasn’t a bad thing, I wanted, needed to tell this story to someone.

  I began at the beginning and told this stranger my life’s story. I started with my first memories and went on from there. The hours passed as I talked relating everything about myself to this man. The bottle of Jack passed back and forth seeming to never run out but I knew I was drinking from it every time it came my way. Not only the bottle but the joint seemed never ending as well. In my rambling need to tell my life’s story I didn’t seem to notice these two details at the time.

  I talked about my parents divorcing and growing up with only a father who was never there. We drank.

  I talked about being the only Asian kid where I grew up and getting picked on and ostracized. We smoked.

  I talked about how I immersed myself in books and video games as kid to get over being alone. We drank.

  I talked about how it was my escape into the fantasy realms of other authors and the game worlds that kept me sane. We smoked.

  I talked about moving all around the world for my father’s job but never having any real friends. We drank.

  I talked about high school and finally meeting some friends, Joseph and Mikey, and feeling like I had a family. We smoked.

  I talked about meeting ‘she who shall not be named’ in college and how I felt like I met the love of my life. We drank.

  I talked about how she was the only thing since the fantasy worlds of books and video game
s to make me happy. We smoked.

  I talked about not finding a job after college and how hard it had been for ‘she who shall not be named’ and me. We drank.

  I finally got to the end of my story and how my once best friend and now ex girlfriend were having sex Olympics in my bed. We drank and smoked then drank and smoked some more.

  TRACK 4 – BITTER SWEET SYMPHONY – THE VERVE

  Quiet reigned after I finished my story. Colt could sense that I needed to not talk anymore. I looked over and saw Freak sprawled out between us by the fire sleeping soundly, his low purr sounding in time just like a kitty metronome. I looked around and full night was upon us. I don’t know how I talked for so many hours straight, even more astounding was Colt listening so patiently the whole time.

  The bottle of Jack was in my hand so I took a sip and went to hand it to Colt, but he held up his own bottle and sipped. When had we opened another bottle? He also had a joint and when I looked in my other hand I did as well. I began to feel dizzy and started to get the spins. Damn I was wasted. I could see Colt, now two of them, looking at me concernedly.

  “You ok Law?” His voice asked, seeming to come from directly inside my mind.

  “Yeah I responded, just feeling really fucked up all of a sudden.” I replied, holding the bottle of Jack to my forehead. The glass felt cold and good.

  “Why don’t you lie down and go to sleep. I’ll take care of everything else.” Colt said, in my head again.

  Even though the voice was from in my mind the idea was a good one. I would just lie down and sleep for a bit. Everything would be better when I woke up.

  “Good idea…” I said, “I’ll just lie down and sleep.”

  I mumbled the last part as I lay down on the rock my eyes getting really heavy. I had vague notions of Colt coming over and grabbing the booze from my one hand and the joint from my other. He was mumbling strange words while he did so but I couldn’t quite understand what he was saying. I made out contract and good kid but that was about it.

  My last real memory was of Colt standing over me the fire lighting him up and making him look gigantic in my drugged and drunken memories.

  “Goodnight Law.” Colt said, reaching his hand out and covering my eyes.

  That was the last thing I saw then blackness. My dreams were fitful and crazed. It was all an insane blur. I had vague images of Colt dancing and singing around the fire. He blew fireballs with the whiskey and huge clouds of smoke with the weed. Translucent shapes of animals and people formed in and outside of my vision. The whole time Colt danced and sung. At one point I remember the night wind coming and raging around the camp site. Thunder sounded and lightning struck all while Colt howled into the storm that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

  My dreams kept changing and becoming more vivid and visual. Colt screamed into the storm and as quickly as it came it disappeared then Colt looked directly at me. He had changed though and become a half man half beast. His whole body now covered in fur and his head morphed from human to that of a huge coyote. Colt howled and howled then I woke up… or so I had thought.

  I glanced around me and saw Colt, back in full human mode sitting at my side, but something was different. Looking around me I noticed we were no longer in the camp but now floating in the air. As a matter of fact, not in the air but in space looking down at earth, Colt and I were sitting side by side in Lotus position looking at the earth from outer space.

  To my credit I realized I must still be dreaming and didn’t freak the fuck out. I just took it in stride and looked over at Colt. He pointed down at the earth and I followed his finger watching as the green and blue orb slowly spun in the darkness. It was just like the pictures taken by astronauts and I watched completely engrossed. The orb kept spinning slowly around until the darkness lightened. I could make out the continents as they passed by; North America, South America, Europe and the Middle East, the rest of Asia, and then the Pacific flew by underneath until it went back to the Americas.

  As the globe darkened millions upon millions of lights lit up and I watched entranced at the amount of people living in the world. There were lights almost everywhere humanity had spread around the globe except for some areas like the Amazon and Sahara which were dark, but even they had some lights in places. Colt began speaking.

  “This is the world now. There are more than seven billion people living on this planet.” He spoke softly as the globe spun, he gestured and the globe began reversing directions and spinning faster and faster until it became a blur. After a moment passed the globe began to slow down and I watched as the earth began to resolve itself. “This is the earth two hundred and seventy million years ago.” One giant landmass sat in the center as it slowed and then broke up splintering into the continents that we currently know. They slowly drifted apart and the earth began spinning normally again, Colt continued. “This is the earth 66 million years ago. This is when the beings you know as dinosaurs finally went extinct.”

  He stopped speaking and I watched the earth, now dark with no humans lighting it, spin slowly. My eyes went wide as a giant asteroid came out of the darkness and began to glow a bright burning red as it entered earth’s atmosphere. A second passed and then the world exploded. Light blinded me but when I finally opened them the world was changed now covered in grey clouds of ash and smoke. Colt gestured and the earth began spinning again faster and faster. This time when it stopped the grey was gone replaced once again with a healthy green and blue earth.

  “This is the earth seven million years ago. This is when you…” he gestured at me and back to the earth, “and your kind began to separate and evolve from primates.”

  I watched as we began to shoot towards the earth and it grew closer and closer in my vision but I didn’t feel like we were moving. Moments passed and we were looking at the continents coming even closer. We sped down and went into a bird’s eye view of Africa getting larger as we rushed in.

  I felt like I was watching the best damn IMAX movie ever as we sped forward through the atmosphere, then stratosphere, and finally through the clouds. We came down and stopped abruptly looking over a massive jungle covering the entire continent of Africa broken up by huge savannahs and gigantic lakes. We sped down and down eventually coming close enough to see individual beings. I stared in awe as I made out hundreds of ape like creatures gallivanting through the trees.

  Time sped forward and I watched the ape’s change slowly becoming more human like in appearance. They began to stand more erect and less hair showed over their bodies as the time sped by. Eventually they began to resemble what I thought of caveman like humans. They used rudimentary stone tools and looked like people. Albeit, dirty, stinky, hairy, and naked people. We sped back out away from the apes now turned humans and I watched as they spread out from that continent to around the entire world.

  They made their way into the Middle East and Europe then Asia. Then they made it to the Americas. I watched as they changed. Colors, sizes, and facial features began to form differences. We sped up and down faster and slower watching humanity become what it is. The way they spread was surprising. The continents were closer and there were land bridges that connected some and the prehistoric humans were surprisingly resourceful.

  Colt gestured and the earth spun faster again and we returned to our outer space vantage point. Then the world began to slow and was dark again. This time though the world was cloaked in darkness there were lights as before although they were different and not as spread out everywhere.

  “This is the earth seven hundred years ago.” He said.

  We moved and closed in over Europe. I watched as we got closer and closer to the earth. I made out ships sailing over the ocean, the continents now further apart, and the peoples reconnecting again. We got even closer and I watched Native Americans and first Viking, then other European explorers meet. We went further out and the earth stopped spinning and centered only on the Americas. The globe was dark again except for the light of the fires. Colt ges
tured and I watched as the fires became less and less eventually stopping when there was a tenth of the original fire lights up and down North and South American continents.

  “When the first explorers and my people met history changed and became skewed. The other gods and I had no idea that the Europeans diseases and sicknesses would destroy the balance by so much.” Colt explained.

  We zoomed in further and I watched in horror as below us millions upon millions of people died. It was like a cacophony of death. I wept openly as we sped over the death, pestilence killing without discrimination. I could never have imagined such horror. Children in their mother’s arms, men lying in the mud and dirt rotting, there was so much death and no one around to do anything about it. Colt saw me weeping and thankfully brought us back out to our original perch. He gave me time to compose myself before he spoke.

  “You see the amount of death. There were once as many people in the Americas as there were in Europe, Asia, and Africa. A dirty trick was played and this was the result.” He gestured to the now darkened American continents then stood up and brushed his hands off. “Now it is time to even the score.” He said with finality.

  I blinked and we were sitting back in my campsite. Holy shit I was having a crazy dream. Colt looked at me from his standing vantage point while he morphed slowly back into the coyote-man and pointed at me with a now clawed finger.

  “The other Old Ones and I have gotten together and found a way to reset the balance. The world will begin again and this time my people will have a chance, all people will have a chance. The simulation will reset.” Colt growled. “You shared your fire and hospitality with me. That is no small thing. I also can tell you are a good person as I can see into your heart. I will give you a few gifts and let you decide for yourself how you will fit in to the new world.”