The Game Changer: A Novel

by Sterling, J.

  He shrugged his shoulders, no words leaving his lips. I jabbed at him again. “Say it!” And then I lost it. I started crying out of pure frustration. “Say it, damn it!” I insisted, stomping my foot on the concrete.

  He took a step toward me, and I firmly placed my hand against his stomach, stopping him cold. “Do you feel something for me? Anything at all?” his voice pleaded.

  I wanted to kick him in the nuts right then and there and tell him that pure hatred raced through my veins for him. And well, that was something. But it would have been a lie. “Matteo, I do not feel anything for you other than friendship. I love Jack. I’ve always loved Jack.”

  “So you’re not attracted to me? This is purely a one-way street?” His lips formed a snarl, and I fought down the urge to sock him in the jaw. He’d pushed all the wrong buttons tonight.

  “I’d have to be dead to not be attracted to you!”

  “I knew it!” he shouted, pleased at my apparent revelation.

  “But it’s not the kind of attraction that means anything!” I yelled back, my frustration boiling over so hot and thick I thought my skin might blister.

  He shoved a hand through his hair in frustration before leaning toward me. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

  “It just means that yes, I think you’re hot. But so does anyone with eyes! You’re a good-looking guy. Of course I’m attracted to you,” I explained, intentionally lowering my voice before continuing. “But I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to leave Jack for you. It’s not the kind of attraction that makes me question anything in my life, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  His gaze dropped to the ground, looking like all the wind had just been sucked from his sails. “Oh.”

  Guilt seeped into my bones, making itself at home. Scenes of our time spent together ran through my mind like a sports highlights reel. Had I given him the wrong impression? Did I lead him on? Did I make Matteo think there was something between us?

  “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve ever given you some impression that I wanted more from you. I don’t. And I don’t say that to hurt you, but I’m in love with Jack. I want that to be very clear.”

  “You didn’t.” He paused, exhaling a breath so large his chest caved inward. “You didn’t lead me on. It’s just that I don’t really spend any time with anyone other than you.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You don’t love me, Matteo. I promise you that you don’t. You just think you do because we’re always together. Maybe we should look into hiring another driver when I get back into town?”

  The idea of a new driver filled me with a sliver of relief. The lines of our relationship had blurred so often that I suddenly appeared blinded by it. Matteo worked for us, but the friendship we formed often took precedence. Lines needed to be clear again—business first, friendship second. But how would I ever explain that to Jack without him suspecting something?

  His face twisted as he pushed off the curb, standing above me. “Please don’t fire me. I love working for you guys. This is literally the best job I’ve ever had. Give me another chance. Please, Cassie. I’m so sorry. It will never happen again. I promise.”

  I couldn’t give him any answers, so I didn’t. Right now, I needed to get the hell out of New York and away from everyone. “I have to go.”

  “Are you going to tell Jack?” His handsome face looked nervous; it seemed strange to see him looking so undone.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. I considered keeping the kiss from Jack, and that fact alone nearly wrecked me. Omitting the truth was still being dishonest. I’d be doing the number one thing I’d insisted Jack never to do me: lie.

  “He’ll kill me.” Matteo rubbed his temples.

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t disagree. “He will.”

  I Don’t Care How Much It Costs

  Jack

  Watching Cassie run out our door last night practically tore me in two. I knew I had to let her go, but it fucking killed me to stand there and watch it happen. I hoped Melissa would be able to talk some sense into her. Despite all of the torment and pain I’d caused in the past, I knew Melissa still believed that Cassie and I were meant to be together. I thought I could count on that much.

  I convinced myself that Cassie just needed some time away. She’d see everything clearly in a few days, and she’d come back home to me. I knew that being in the public eye could be unbearable at times, but hopefully it was worth putting up with in order to be together.

  Right?

  I knew what I wanted. And what I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with Cassie. I’ve always known it, but having her leave like this only solidified the fact that I refused to live my life without her in it. I wanted her to know how serious I was about us. Nothing and no one would ever come between us again. I didn’t know shit about jewelry, but every guy knew about Tiffany’s. The ring Chrystle sported on her tiny finger had been her late grandmother’s, so all of this ring-shopping business was new to me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  I hustled down the busy New York streets toward the shop six or so blocks away. I pulled my hat down low and donned sunglasses, hoping no one would recognize me and try to stop me for pictures. Two steps from the Tiffany’s store a voice shouted, “Jack Carter?” and my feet stopped moving. “Oh my God, are you Jack Carter?”

  I looked up to see a teenage girl practically dancing off the sidewalk. “Hi.” I smiled, not wanting her to draw attention to me, or the store I was about to walk into.

  “Can I get a picture with you? Please?” Her voice shook.

  “Sure.” I leaned toward her as she tried to take a self-portrait of us. I grabbed the phone from her shaking hands. “Here, I’ll take it.” I reached out my arm as far as it would go before clicking the button on her phone.

  “Thank you so much. Oh my God. I can’t wait to show my dad. And all my friends. They think you’re so hot,” she gushed.

  “Just your friends think I’m hot?” I teased, hoping to ease the teen’s nerves.

  She laughed, her face turning a bright shade of red before squeaking out, “Thanks again. Bye.”

  I turned around, scanning the area for photographers and passed the Tiffany’s entrance just to be safe. When no one else approached me, I turned back around and hastily walked through the revolving door. Once inside, I wanted to puke. Talk about overwhelming. Glass cases lined the entire length of the store. Where the hell was I supposed to start?

  “Hello, sir. May I help you find something?” A brunette stepped in front of me with a fake smile.

  “Um.” I froze. “Engagement rings.”

  Her fake smile deepened. “Right this way.”

  She led me past a crowd of people hovering over something and directed me toward a display of cases. “All of our engagement rings are here. Let me find a specialist to help you.”

  “Thanks,” was all I muttered in response.

  I glanced down. No wonder girls loved this shit. Diamonds of all sizes and colors sparkled like the lights at the baseball stadium. Everything seemed so fancy and showy—neither of which was Kitten’s style. I continued to scan the flashy rings when a voice broke my concentration.

  “Good afternoon. My name is Elizabeth. Sasha told me you were looking for engagement rings. Do you have a specific style in mind?”

  Yeah. The kind that fits on her hand and makes her say yes when I propose.

  “Um, no. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  “How about we start with a price range. Do you have a certain amount you are looking to spend?” She smiled, her overly white teeth blinding me.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  Her face lit up. Like seriously… Lit. The. Fuck. Up. Like I’d just told her she’d hit the jackpot.

  “OK. So then, is there a certain shape she likes?”

  “Honestly.” I paused. “Elizabeth, was it?” She nodded. “I have no idea what kind of shape she likes. I’d just like to get her a ring that fits her
personality.”

  “Alright then. Is there a shape you like? There’s round, cushion cut, princess.”

  “I don’t know what any of that means other than round. Why don’t I just look at these, and I’ll tell you which ones I like.”

  “Of course. You go right ahead.”

  Holy hell, salespeople are annoying.

  I wandered around the cases searching for the one ring that looked right. I passed by all the so-called “fancy” diamonds, assuming that Cassie would probably hate a big pink or yellow diamond on her finger.

  I stopped at a case filled with more subtle pieces. They looked more classic, timeless even, and I liked the look. And then I noticed it. A round diamond surrounded on all sides by smaller diamonds. The band held diamonds as well.

  “Elizabeth, can I see this ring please?” I looked up, searching for her.

  She smiled again, rushing over. “Which one?”

  “The round one right there with all the diamonds around it,” I said, pointing.

  “Beautiful choice. Now this band comes with either a two-and-a-half-, three-, or four-carat diamond in the center.”

  “You lost me,” I admitted.

  “The size of the diamond. The center one for this band can accommodate any of the sizes I mentioned.”

  I contemplated her words, but still had no idea what they meant. “Can I see the difference in sizes? I have no idea how big or small that is.”

  “Of course, let’s go in the back.”

  She led me toward a private office in the back, the ring I picked out coming with us in a small white paper bag. “Please sit.” she motioned to the black leather chair, and I sat down.

  Elizabeth unfolded a black velvet ring holder and gently placed the diamond ring inside before unfolding another small envelope and pouring out three diamonds. She arranged them flawlessly on the velvet with her tweezers.

  I sat back and admired them. “OK, I think she’d hate the four-carat one. That thing is enormous and would take up her entire hand.”

  I released a long breath, wanting to choose the right ring at the right size. I pulled at my shirt to relieve the pressure that raced through me. “What size do you like best with that band?”

  “Honestly I think the three carats is divine. And the band itself is gorgeous. They complement each other beautifully.”

  I nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right. Let’s go with the three carats.”

  “Great!” She smiled. “One more question. Do you want this particular diamond, or would you like me to look for a better one?”

  “What do you think?”

  “Honestly?” She placed a black contraption against her eye as she examined the diamond. “I think it’s a beautiful diamond. I don’t see any inclusions, scratches, or marks in it.”

  “So it’s not a piece of crap, right?”

  She laughed uncomfortably, clearly stunned by my language. “No, sir. Definitely not. We don’t carry any crap in our store.”

  “Great. Then I’ll take it.”

  Strength

  Cassie

  I told Melissa I didn’t want to talk on the drive back from LAX. I leaned my head against her car’s passenger window and closed my eyes part of the time, and watched the palm trees fly by the rest. When I walked through the door of our old apartment, relief filtered through every weight-induced crack in my bones. The pressure I endured living in New York had become such a constant companion that I’d stopped being aware of the heaviness that bore down on me.

  I looked over my shoulder at Melissa and took a long, deep breath, filling my lungs before virtually crumpling on the couch.

  “Can we talk now?” she asked, tossing me a bottle of water from the fridge.

  I stared at her, wanting to confess everything, but not really knowing where to start. “It’s just a relief to be away from everything and everyone. I had no idea how stressed out I was until I wasn’t there. You know?” I buried my head in my hands.

  “I have something for you,” Melissa smiled before disappearing into her room.

  My eyes crinkled as I wondered what she could possibly have for me. She didn’t even know I was flying out before last night. She reappeared with a small, red mesh bag in her hand and sat down next to me.

  “I was going to mail it to you, but now I don’t have to. Open it,” her bright blue eyes danced as she watched me.

  I pulled at the satin strings and poured the contents of the tiny bag into my hand. A brass ball chain holding an old silver key appeared. Confused, but still liking the concept, I eyed my best friend, “It’s cool. Did you get one for you too?”

  She rolled her eyes before grabbing the key out of my opened hand and turning it over. “Read it.”

  I inspected the tiny letters stamped onto the top, holding it close to my eyes. It read, STRENGTH. I smiled, pulling my head through the open space of the necklace without unlatching it. I watched the key fall between my breasts and loved that I would be able to hide it under my clothing if I wanted to. “This is really awesome. Thank you.”

  “There’s a story that goes along with it,” she started and I turned my attention toward her. “So I bought you this particular word because I think with everything going on in your life right now, you could use the extra STRENGTH. But there will come a day when you’ll see someone who will need your key and your word more than you do. And when that day comes, you have to pay it forward and give your necklace to them.”

  My breath hitched. “So I have to give it away?” I asked, rubbing my thumb along the gift I wasn’t ready to part with just yet.

  “Yep. That’s the whole concept behind these necklaces. That we give them away at some point. When someone needs your word more than you,” she reached for the key, touching it briefly before letting it go. “But not right now. You need it right now.”

  I inhaled sharply before exhaling. “This is really cool. I mean, all of it. The necklace. The word. Giving it away. The whole concept and idea. I love it. Thank you so much.” I leaned into her and squeezed as much as I could without getting up.

  “I knew you would. And you’re welcome. So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? You didn’t fly out here at the last minute for no reason.”

  My smile dropped as my bottom lip jutted out in a pout. “Stop trying to psychoanalyze me.”

  “No way!” She shook her head. “That’s what I’m good at. Plus, I like pointing out all your broken parts,” she added with a smile.

  “So you can be thankful it’s not you?”

  “Bitch! No. So I can help fix you.” She nudged against me. “What did Jack say about the article?”

  “Not much, really. I think he’s just worried.”

  “We’re all worried.” She placed her head on my shoulder, and I leaned against it.

  There were two quick knocks on the door before it opened and Dean burst through. “You told him I was here?” I whispered to Melissa.

  “No,” she whispered in response.

  “Sis. What’s going on?” Dean practically sprinted to me. I loved it when he called me that, even though it wasn’t official.

  “How’d you know I was here,” I asked, before he snatched me up from the couch into a bear hug. I missed Dean and seeing him forced me to realize just how much.

  “Jack called me, out of his mind. Told me to go check on you and make sure you were OK. He said he thinks you broke up with him. Is that true?” Dean’s voice was filled with disbelief.

  “What? You did what?” Melissa asked through her surprise.

  “I don’t know what I did. I just left and told him I didn’t know if I could do this anymore.”

  “Jesus, Cassie! Are you trying to fucking kill the guy?” Melissa shook her head. “After everything the two of you have been through?”

  “Why is it always about Jack and how my decisions affect him? Why isn’t it ever about me and what all of this bullshit does to me?” I broke down, the tears spilling out as I leaned back onto the co
uch.

  Dean dropped onto the other side of me, wrapping his arms around me, “I don’t want you guys to break up.”

  “I’m a fucking wreck on the inside. Can’t you see that?” I looked at him before looking away. I hated disappointing Dean. “Chrystle’s stupid article pushed me over the edge. I can’t take another picture of me with ‘home wrecker’ or ‘man-stealing slut’ written across it.” I buried my head in my hands, pressing my palms against my eyes.

  “What does any of that have to do with Jack, though? I mean, really?” Melissa’s forehead creased.

  “It has everything to do with Jack!” I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. “I’m only dealing with all of this because I’m dating him. This keeps happening to me because I’m his girlfriend.”

  “So if you two weren’t together, then no one would post stuff about you?” she asked.

  I breathed out a loud, annoyed breath. “Obviously! They wouldn’t care about me if I wasn’t with him.”

  Melissa’s hand rested on my thigh. “Well, then. You should definitely let these strangers dictate your love life.”

  “Don’t be a jerk.” I narrowed my eyes.

  “I’m not. I honestly can’t believe I’m sitting here listening to this. You would walk away from Jack just to stop some stupid gossip?”

  I shook my head. “You don’t know how it feels. I know it probably seems like I shouldn’t care, or I should let it roll off my back, but people read those things and they believe them without question. They shout mean things to me all the time at Jack’s games. New York might be a big city, but it feels really small sometimes. Everything that gets posted, I have to deal with. Not anyone else. Me.” I pointed at my chest. “And it sucks.”

  Dean reached for my shoulder. “Cassie, leaving Jack isn’t the answer.”

  I shrugged. “All the harassment would stop.”

  “Do you honestly think you’d be OK not being with him?” Dean pleaded, his voice becoming more agitated.

  “I don’t know, but I’m not OK right now and I’m with him.”

  Melissa cleared her throat. “You know you’re not a real person to them.”