One Desire

by Rice, Rachel E.

  “Thank you.” I felt free from Jordan and Brandon. If I could get away from Brandon I would be happy and let him work out his problems with Angela.

  “In that month I will be away. That should give you time to miss me.”

  That came as a shock. He wants me to miss him. I like him but I will not miss him. I miss Brandon and I haven’t seen him in a day.

  ***

  Weeks passed and I did miss Jordan. I was use to him staring out of his door at me. I missed the attention I had garnered from him. It was a Friday and Chris texted me to meet her in the Village at a piano bar. After work I caught a cab and rushed over there. I hadn’t seen her since she returned from Paris. She was holed up in her boyfriend’s apartment.

  I walked into the bar and saw Chris sitting alone at a small table for two with a view of the street. She waved and I sauntered around to meet her. I leaned over and gave her a hug.

  “You look different, Tyler.” Chris’s eyes followed me, searching my face, body, and movements as if the ugly duckling had turned into a swan.

  “I feel different if that’s what you mean.” I wasn’t sure what she thought and I wanted to know more. I passed my hands over my hair. Is it the new haircut? It was now shoulder length. Is it the clothes? My mentor suggested I purchase new suits, where I can show a little cleavage.

  “I just received a full pay check. I don’t have to pay anything this week. It’s mine. Maybe that’s what you’re noticing. It’s nothing like a paycheck to make your day.” Chris gave me a high five. And clearly she didn’t understand the comment about a pay check because she never had to work a day in her life if she didn’t want to. She had money to last a lifetime.

  “No. It’s more than that. You look different like a sophisticated woman. Not afraid of anything.” The waiter stood and waited until Chris had finished talking. We placed our orders.

  “I’m having a beer,” Chris said.

  “We should eat first. If I don’t get something into my stomach, I get drunk.” I looked up at the waiter and ordered a cheese burger.

  “I’ll have the same and since I invited you out, I’ll pay the tab.”

  “No. It’s my treat I said without caring about the price.” I glanced at Chris who had a beautiful smile and bright eyes to match. “What?” I said, sensing that she wanted to say more.

  “I wanted to tell you and I hope you don’t get upset, but…” I knew it was something more. The minute you hear but there is more.

  “You know Patrick and I have been together for a while, well, we’re going to be married soon and because he is a starving artist he can’t keep his apartment,” she said to me. Her eyes moved away from mine and settled on the glass of wine and beer the waiter had placed there without fanfare. “What I’m trying to say is that Patrick will be moving in with me. You can stay if you want. I’m not putting you out.”

  “No. No. I had planned on moving out and getting my own apartment,” I said trying to soften the blow for both of us.

  “I hope you’re thinking what I’m thinking.”

  “What?” I said.

  “You move into Patrick’s apartment,” she said studying my expression.

  I began laughing. “I hadn’t thought of that. It sounds like a great idea.”

  “And when you marry one of those rich hunks then you can move out?” Chris said locking eyes with me.

  “I’m not…” She interrupted.

  “Don’t tell me you never considered marrying one of them?”

  “The only one I would marry would be Brandon and he’s already married.”

  “Maybe you could be his mistress,” Chris said with a light laugh. “Women do it all the time.”

  “I would never,” I declared knowing well that I considered it and somewhere in the back of my mind the thought was still lingering there.

  “Never is a long time. Never say what you wouldn’t do. You didn’t think you would give up your virginity to him and you did.” My smile turned down. She knew I was upset. She didn’t do it on purpose but my feelings were out there for everyone to see and I didn’t know how to reign them in. Then I remembered what Chris had said before. She smiled and now I smiled.

  She said once, ‘Everyone in this circle of rich people is playing the game. Don’t stand in the arena like a Christian for the lions to tear you apart. Learn the game.’

  When I glanced down again a large cheese burger with pickles, tomatoes, onions set on my plate in front of me. I was trying to figure out how to eat the thing, when I looked out at the street and as close as I am to Chris, a red sports car with a young woman sitting in the passenger seat pulled up and stopped at the light. It was Brandon in the driver’s seat and a pretty girl about nineteen or twenty laughing and swaying to the music. I leaned forward watching the car drive away.

  “Did you see that?”

  “What,” Chris said looking around but not in the direction I wanted her to look.

  “It was Brandon and he…he was with a woman and it wasn’t Angela.” The words were choking me. The air became stale.

  Chris placed her hand over mine. “You’re upset. The only thing that can stop this is a little drinking and a lot of dancing. There’s a club not far from here and the most eligible bachelors hang out there. What do you say?”

  “I say let’s go for it. It’s a Friday night. What the hell?” I took a large swallow of my Heineken and called for another bottle.

  “Hell yes,” Chris said to me.

  Chapter 24

  I reached inside my large bag and pulled out a pair of three inch heels and placed the sneakers inside the bag. I needed a new makeover before I could go dancing. Since Chris was a buyer and she knew something about clothes and makeup, I put the question to her walking to the restroom.

  The restroom area was crowded with girls laughing and chatting. We had to wait for space at the vanity counter with its sinks and large mirrors. Three or four girls were stacked in each section.

  “What can you suggest that would change me? I want to be different,” I whispered not sure of what I wanted or what it meant to be different in a crowd of attractive women older and younger than me.

  “You are different. Just be yourself.”

  “But I want to look sexy different,” I explained turning to glance in the mirror as I passed my hand through my hair then pulling it upward, wondering if this would make a difference in my appeal to the opposite sex. Chris pulled my hand down from my hair.

  “Well why didn’t you say so.” She studied me for a few seconds. She reached into her purse and set on the counter, blush, eyeliner, eyelash curler…. and she took out four makeup brushes. “It’s all in the brush. If you have good brushes and the basics like red lipstick you can conquer the world,” she said smearing the red gloss over my pale lips. “Now for the eyes,” she said to me. “You need drama,” and she rubbed some black eye shadow in the creases near my eye. “Look.” I turned around and faced the mirror. “You look like the queen of the Nile.”

  “I just want to be different, not Cleopatra,” I said to her. But I had to admit I did look exotic and different.

  “Trust me you want to be Cleopatra tonight.”

  She went to work on my cheeks and when she finished she stepped back. “Now take a look.”

  I turned to the mirror and my first question was who’s that amazing hot chick? “You look terrific. You sizzle,” she said. I eased out a smile. My smile grew and grew until all my teeth were showing and I shouted, “Yeah!” We high fived twice.

  My smile changed. I pulled at the hem of my jacket and tried to lift my skirt. “I can’t go dancing looking like this until I stop at the loft.”

  “If you go to the loft, you’ll never leave,” she said to me. Chris walked around studying me for a second. “I have it. It’s that damn jacket.”

  “Take it off.” I did as she directed. “Now that’s better. You have a camisole on, now that’s great. You’re showing some skin. Great,” she said dancing around me wi
th brushes in her hand as if she was Picasso painting her greatest work. “Hike that skirt up and we’re outta here.” I did as she directed and I couldn’t recognize myself with the red lipstick and the gold eye shadow when I passed the floor to ceiling mirror.

  “The only thing you’re missing are the eyelashes but the black mascara will take care of that. She made a quick swipe of my lashes and said, “Enough. We’re missing all the fun. You’re done.”

  We walked out of the bathroom and the waiter’s eyes swung in our direction with a smile crossing his face. I took the check and left a large tip for the hundred dollar burgers. Chris felt bad about not telling me about the expensive menu. She refused the rent money I planned on giving her for the month.

  ***

  We hailed a cab and the cabbie let us out in front of the club. With high heels on it became apparent that we would never make it down one city block without a shoe disaster. The cab was a good idea. We had drank too much beer and wine and were giggling when we arrived at the High Flyers Club. I looked at the line outside and said, “We’re never getting in there?”

  “Yes we are. I know the owner.”

  “But of course you do, why wouldn’t you?” Chris could make friends in the strangest of places and her friends came from all areas of society. She was easy to like and she liked everyone. She was on first name basis with some of the derelicts on the street looking for food or a drink. Her mantra is: You never know who that person is or will become in the future. You just have to treat people like human beings.

  Walking to the front of the line, the guy holding the rope ushered us through the throng of people standing in our way. As she passed she waved and a chorus of “Hi Chris,” echoed through the air as she high fived them.

  “You never fail to impress me.” I felt important being with her. I always thought of myself as an important person but never as much as with Chris. She appeared to know everyone including the not so important people. She had a following of over a million people on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and that was five years ago when we were in high school. Who knows how many followers she has today?

  I think I had four Twitter followers—my parents and two weirdoes.

  Entering the club, the dance floor was full of young bodies and the lights were flashing all around us. “We are going up to the second floor. It’s too crowded here,” Chris said.

  Walking up the stairs I looked down on the floor with everyone dancing, jumping, shouting and reveling in chaos. Jumping and sliding around. I’ve never been to a party or a dance before and I was in heaven. Before I could sit down someone caught my hand. “Come dance with me.” I looked to Chris for acceptance and she nodded her head. Before I could make it to the main floor, Chris was there dancing yelling her head off and jumping around.

  The guy was so cute when I finally got a good look at him. I was glad he asked me to dance but he was a little too young for me. He had to be about twenty or maybe eighteen. He appeared to like me a lot so I said, “What the hell,” and continued dancing. After all what did I care, I wasn’t going to marry him, and I was just out for the night.

  The music stopped and made a transition. It was a John Legend’s song. It was slow and I found myself wishing for Brandon. “My name is Lucas,” the cute young guy said to me. If I liked guys my age I could fall for him but I loved Brandon and no one could compared with him. I know I have to get over him but I couldn’t get pass him and I’ve been trying.

  “Well Lucas, you’re dancing with my wife,” a low sexy voice surrounded us. Before I could get into Lucas or introduce myself to him, a voice came from nowhere and invaded my senses. I knew that voice, I knew that man. It was Brandon. Where did he come from?

  “What are you doing here?” he said to me. I don’t know what happened to Lucas and I never turned to look around in his direction. I didn’t feel Lucas’s hand leave mine. When Brandon was around it was as if no one existed anymore. He mesmerized me and Lucas disappeared like ice in hot water.

  Brandon pulled me into his embrace. “Feel me. I want you to feel me,” he murmured with a tortured gaze as if he was somewhere else. Maybe he was back in Maine in the cool of summer with that young impressionable girl who at one time was me. Or maybe he was with me now. That young women who made him hot with desire. “I need you so bad that I can’t think anymore.” His breathing heavy, and the stubble of his soft clean shaven beard flicking pass my ear as he whispered, “I need you princess. You will always be mine.” He unbuttoned his shirt. He had been dancing and sweat poured from his taut body.

  The sweat fell like rain on a summer day and my dress and body soaked it up. I could smell him on me. I could smell the scent that attracted me to him. He reached for my hand and it became stiff. He placed it on his bare chest. “Feel my heart.” I glanced into his desperate wide eyes as he strained to control his emotions. “My heart beats for you princess. Only you. Why can’t you understand that and give me a chance?”

  “Give you a chance? For what?” I never gave him the opportunity to answer. I was angry and resentful that he married Angela. I had no right to be. I knew he would marry her even when he tried to break it off. I hurt and I wanted him to feel pain. “I can never be yours remember. You are married,” I shouted over the music and happy voices.

  “I won’t be for long. And when I no longer have Angela to worry about, I’m coming for you. You’re mine.”

  As we made a half turn, the young woman who was riding with him in his sports car was standing with her arms folded in front of us. “I leave you for a few minutes and you have replaced me just that fast.” She looked me up and down. From my hair, lips to my semi expensive clothes and shoes.

  She was far prettier than I imagined. Her hair was short and dark brown and she had wide blue green eyes accented by the small emerald and diamond earrings, she wore. Her dress, a short black one with spaghetti thin straps holding it up, and on her feet were a pair of gold Jimmy Choo sandals to die for. I had fallen into that trap of designer clothes even though I couldn’t see when I would be able to buy a pair of seven hundred dollar shoes.

  I was up to my head in the designer trap and I felt myself drowning. Once I started on designers, I knew for sure the old me had died. The lack of money had kept balance in my life and I held on to the last shred of me there was.

  “She’s very pretty Brandon, why don’t you introduce us,” she said with a childish smirk. I pulled away and was ready to run when he caught my hand at arm’s length and reeled me back to him.

  “This is my sister, Anna.”

  “Anna, this is Tyler.” Her smile grew bigger, warmer, and less threatening.

  “Oh. Oh. You’re the million dollar girl,” she said with a smile and extending her hand to me.

  I shook her hand and said, “I’m not sure it’s me they’re talking about.”

  “But it is you. I see why Brandon gave Jordan a black eye. They’ve been at it since they were boys.”

  “You weren’t born when I was a boy,” Brandon quipped.

  “You were never a boy,” she said to Brandon. He kissed her forehead. She smiled and said, “I’m going, I can get in one more dance before Brandon takes me home.” Anna left us standing on the dance floor to dance with a crowd of girls. Then she turned and ran in my direction.

  “Tyler, I’m having a graduation party. Would you be my guest?” She glanced at Brandon.

  “Anna. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not with this thing about Angela,” he said.

  “Oh nothing is wrong with her. She’s such a drama queen. She’s probably playing games because she knows you want a divorce. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was in Europe with some Cabana boy,” Anna said to Brandon.

  “That’s enough, Anna,” he said softly.

  “It’s not like I don’t know everything that goes on in our family.” She looked to me with wide eyed innocence. “I’m not that naïve. You know there is something called the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and not to
forget Google. You should try it Brandon and stay out of those stuffy meetings and live a little.” And she left us and went back to the mind bending music.

  “I’m not going Brandon,” I said with him holding my hand.

  “Anna wants you there.”

  “What about your mother?”

  “She never reads the paper, she is so involved with her charities that she doesn’t have time for anything,” he said kissing my hand. “I admit that I want you to go. Anna wants you and she is the only bright light in my life beside you, princess.”

  The heat of a thousand summers flushed through my body and what once was a bad idea suddenly became a wonderful idea. When the night ended, I left with Chris and Brandon reluctantly escorted his little sister home.

  Chapter 25

  An invitation arrived from Anna Charles and Chris brought it to my new apartment. She and Patrick helped me move. I was officially and unceremoniously on my own. A month had passed and I was still trying to acclimate myself to living in a small box one room with bath, kitchenette, where my view consisted of a red brick wall and the window of a couple in love, reminding me that I was alone, and missing out on sex.

  Chris’s loft was spacious and awash in light. I could understand how Patrick would want to move there. It overlooked Central Park, and she had a terrace where you could sit and think and lose yourself in the splendid surroundings because of the silence.

  The apartment I moved to, fire engines and police sirens were blasting every hour, and I adopted the alley cat to keep the mice at bay. The cat wasn’t bad, at least I had a friend. I informed Chris that she shouldn’t tell Brandon I moved out.

  I transferred to my new job on Seventh Avenue and all was going well. Saturdays were my day to get acquainted with my new neighborhood. I made a visit to my father’s house on father’s day last week and he appeared happy that I thought of him. But today was my day to lay around and try not to do any work, just wander the neighborhood shops for decoration for my new home.