The New Normal

by L. J. Hayward

  “It’s fine. I have. It was okay, but not for me. So you’re awesome at handies and you’re trying BJs. Here’s my first bit of advice. Don’t try to deep throat too early. You have to train for that shit. Took me years and only on small to medium dicks. What size are you working with?”

  Please God, don’t let Andrew ever hear of this.

  Brian held his hands up.

  “Decent for a learner dick.”

  “Hey, it’s a keeper dick.”

  Sean made the universal hands-off gesture. “I’m sure it is. Okay, here’s some BJ basics.”

  For the next fifteen minutes Brian wished he had a notebook and pen. He felt like he was in classes again, trying desperately to keep up with everything the lecturer was saying.

  “So really,” Sean wound up with, “anything that feels good. You know what you like done to you, so try it out on him, watch and feel how he reacts and adjust accordingly.”

  “And avoid teeth.”

  “Yes. Do. Sure, some guys like a little bit of nibbling, but that’s an advanced class. You need some field training before you get to that one.”

  Even though they were in the shade, Brian was hoping it was just really fast acting sunburn heating his cheeks, but from the way Sean was smirking, it wasn’t so.

  “And here’s another good thing to remember.” Sean leaned in and his tone got soft and serious. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex is supposed to feel good so don’t hesitate to talk about it with him, so you know what each of you wants and likes and dislikes. It’s better to know to avoid something before you get between the sheets rather than right in the middle of things.”

  “Okay. I can do that.” He squinted into the sun for a moment, then blurted out, “What about anal?”

  “What about it?”

  “Like, ah, doing it.”

  Sean frowned. “You haven’t even given him a blowjob and you want to know about anal intercourse?”

  “Well, yeah. I know I like . . . some stuff happening down there. Pretty sure I’m going to like . . . other stuff happening down there.”

  The other man got that cheek-pinching look again. “How long have you been in this relationship?”

  Brian was pretty sure “all my life” would take too long to explain, so he muttered, “Today’s day three.”

  “Ooookay.” Sean took a long drink. “I’m going to have to get back to work, so we simply cannot cover everything about butt sex now, but here’s my key bit of advice to you. Don’t.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “Because, ladybug, it’s a big step. Physically and emotionally. Your first time shouldn’t be rushed into.” He frowned and fiddled with his coffee cup. “If you do, you invariably end up hurt. Again, physically and emotionally. You have to be certain it’s something you want to do, for yourself and not just for him. And he has to know it’s your first time, too, and know how to prep you. It’s not as easy as sucking a dick.”

  Brian looked down at his own, mostly untouched, drink. Sean sounded like he was speaking from experience and even though Brian didn’t know him extremely well, he hurt for Sean.

  “Thank you,” Brian said honestly. “I’m very grateful you took the time to talk to me. I think I have a much better idea of what we’re getting into now.”

  Sean smiled, though his eyes didn’t spark as much as they had at the start. “I’m glad. And I’m very willing to answer any more questions. The more we can and do talk about this sort of stuff, the better it will be for people just learning. It’s not like we’re trying to keep the secret of seven herbs and spices, right?”

  Brian rolled his eyes and whined, “Now there’s spices involved?”

  Laughing, Sean shoved him playfully. “I really have to go.” He stood and brushed off his arse. “You might want to think about watching some gay porn with your guy, too. Not the professional stuff because, well, professional, right? They spend way too much time changing positions and half of them only have dollar signs in their eyes, not lust or love. Look for the amateur stuff. Bit more realistic and the chemistry.” He chef-kissed. “Here, give me your email address and I’ll send you some links.”

  Getting links to gay porn certainly wasn’t how Brian had thought he would end his workday, but they exchanged emails and Sean went back to work. Brian sat under the tree for a bit longer, digesting and drinking his cold coffee.

  Sean was undoubtedly right. Rushing into anal would be stupid, even if yesterday while they’d been grinding on each other, the idea of Andrew’s cock inside him had been hot and insistent. Some research was probably ideal, as was waiting. Brian was pretty sure he would be happy to keep sexing with Andrew indefinitely, but what if Andrew changed his mind? His speech about why he loved Brian had been very convincing, but then Simone had said “I love you” and managed to walk away from him. Lena hadn’t said it, but she’d acted like it, then dropped him for someone else.

  Love didn’t guarantee anything.

  Maybe Brian was walking into the same trap all over again. Great sex and a glimmer of forever. It felt different with Andrew, though. Maybe that was just the novelty of the sex. Or maybe it was different this time.

  With a frustrated groan, Brian got up and went to his car. At home, he grabbed a few things, gave Schrody a snack, then headed down to Palm Beach.

  The construction crew were heading out for the day when he pulled up across the road from the build site. Brian had dropped Andrew off or picked him up a couple of times early in the job, when the place had been a slab of cement, a few pipes sticking up here and there and a very skeletal, ground floor framework. Now, there were three storeys of unfinished walls, a complicated landscape of peaks and slopes for the roof and the ground floor windows were in. It was suddenly a house. And Andrew had helped create it. As much as Brian might wish Andrew would go back to his dream of architecture, this wasn’t a poor substitute.

  As he got out of the Jag, Terri peeled away from the exiting stream of crew and met him at the car.

  “Long time, no see.” She gave him a quick hug, excusing herself for being stinky. “Does this mean I don’t have to see Drew’s stupidly grinning face on the drive home today?”

  “Guess not. What do you mean, stupidly grinning face?”

  Terri laughed. “I don’t know what’s got into him this week but I’ve never seen him so happy.” She nudged him and winked. “Though I wonder if it’s got anything to do with a certain someone.”

  Apparently Brian hadn’t used up all his blush with Sean. Had Andrew told Terri about them? Brian didn’t know her all that well but he was fairly certain she wouldn’t care about them being together, though telling people was something they should talk about first, right?

  “I couldn’t possibly know what you’re talking about.” Because, really, he didn’t.

  Tapping the nose of the leaping jaguar bonnet ornament, Terri said, “He keeps saying he’s not an architect, but ever since Vaughn Sheridan started showing up on site and dragging Andrew off for ‘chats,’ it’s pretty obvious he is.” She gestured to the mobile office. “They’re in there now, going over some sort of plans. Have been for about half an hour now. Ron’s not happy, but we were pretty much finished anyway, just some tidying up to do.”

  Vaughn Sheridan. One of Andrew’s architectural inspirations and the owner of the firm where his truncated job had been. He was here? Talking to Andrew about plans?

  “How long have these chats been happening?” He tried to sound casual but Terri threw him a slight frown.

  “Not long. Couple of times last week and today. Didn’t he tell you about it?”

  Brian shook his head. Surely getting to talk shop with one of his idols would have been something Andrew would share with him. He definitely would have once.

  “Maybe it’s secret plans they’re going over,” Terri suggested with a wink. “Anyway, if you’re going to chauffer his highness around today, I’ll get going. Surprise the fam with a mum cooked meal for once.”
<
br />   Brian said goodbye and leaned his butt against the Jag, waiting. Did this mean Andrew might be getting interested in finishing his qualifications? But why wouldn’t he talk to Brian about it if that were the case? Was getting intimate the wrong thing for their friendship?

  He tried to shake off the doubts, and sort of forgot about them when a midnight blue Ford Mustang with white racing stripes rumbled up to the site and pulled over, engine idling. The windows were darkly tinted and the driver stayed behind the wheel. The stragglers in the crew all headed towards other parked cars, so the Mustang wasn’t there for one of them.

  Finally, the door to the office opened and Andrew stepped out. He was smiling and looking over his shoulder at the man who followed him. Broad shoulders shown off by a tight button-down and slender hips encased in fitted jeans, the older man was undeniably hot. And he draped an arm around Andrew’s shoulder, tipping his head in close to keep talking to him as they meandered towards the road. Something he said made Andrew laugh. It had been a long time since Brian had seen someone not one of their closest friends make Andrew appear that delighted.

  This was Vaughn Sheridan? The man who was apparently showing Andrew special attention? That weird twist of jealousy Brian had been feeling the other night was back with a vengeance.

  The Mustang engine reeved pointedly and Sheridan looked up, startled. Then he smiled, said something more to Andrew, peeled his arm off and headed for the blue car. Andrew watched him go, then seemed to feel the daggers Brian was staring at him and met his gaze.

  The smile that bloomed on Andrew’s face was disgustingly sweet and it made Brian squirm. Okay, Andrew could laugh with Sheridan, a bit, so long as he kept that smile just for Brian.

  Andrew didn’t even watch as Sheridan got into the Mustang and it took off in a loud roar. He just arrowed across the road and all but rammed into Brian.

  “This is a surprise.” He apparently couldn’t stop smiling.

  Brian wanted to kiss him but there were still construction workers scattered here and there and best-case scenario would be they wolf whistled. This probably wasn’t the time to find out what the worst-case scenario would be.

  “I’m taking you out for a date.”

  Eyebrows shooting up, Andrew stared at him. “A what?”

  “A date. You know, two people go out to dinner, they talk, they find out if they like each other, maybe kiss. A date.”

  “We already know each other, we already . . .” He lowered his voice. “Kiss. And I’m sweaty and dusty. And why aren’t you at work?”

  “I’ll tell you later about work and I brought some things for you to change into. Besides, I’m not taking you to Little Truffle on a first date. I thought we could try The Collective since we’re already in Palmy.”

  Andrew grumbled but complied. Brian grabbed the gear and they went into the site office—Andrew had a key thanks to his late chat with Sheridan. He’d brought water and a towel for Andrew to have a wipe down, which Brian helped with happily, and jeans and a good flannel. Andrew’s hair he finger-combed while kissing him thoroughly.

  “See, good enough for a date.”

  “It’s a bit early.”

  “That’s why they invented long walks on the beach. You won’t talk me out of this. Deal with it.”

  Andrew smiled that smile again. “Anything for you.”

  The evening turned out to be perfect. They strolled along the beach, kicked sand at each other and watched a couple of surfers make the best of the dismal waves. After dusting off the sand, they walked to The Collective, a sort of collaborative dining experience with five different restaurants all serving in the one place. Andrew convinced Brian to have some veggies with his meat and bread and regretted his choice of rare steak when Brian told him why he got out of work early.

  “How long until you find out the results of the blood test?” Andrew was worried by Brian’s blasé attitude towards the needle stick.

  “Couple of days. It’s a baseline check to make sure I don’t already have anything and I know I don’t. It’s the patient’s results that really matter. And seriously, the needle barely touched her. It’ll be fine.”

  God, Andrew hoped so. He tried to put it out of his mind for the rest of the meal. Which wasn’t hard when Brian sprung a surprise question on him.

  “Are you reconsidering finishing your qualifications?”

  Andrew blinked. “What? Why would you think that?” Had Simone got into Brian’s ear about convincing him to go back to architecture?

  “I saw Terri this arvie. She said the guy you were with was Vaughn Sheridan. I know he’s like your career goal, so I wondered.” Brian’s overly casual tone sounded like he’d more than wondered.

  “It’s nothing. He remembered me from when I worked at Green Life and he’s sort of impressed that I’m working construction now and wanted to see how that affected my thoughts on design. It’s nothing big.”

  Unlike Vaughn offering him his position with Green Life again. In the bliss of the last couple of days, Andrew had almost forgotten about it, then Vaughn had shown up just before knock off time today with a set of plans and it had all come rushing back.

  Brian nodded. “And you’d never told Terri you did architecture and that you were a couple of years away from being fully qualified.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I didn’t see the point. It’s not an option anymore.”

  For the first time since he’d made the decision, Andrew saw Brian want to protest it. He fidgeted with his silverware and looked anywhere but at Andrew.

  “Spit it out,” Andrew muttered. “You have something to say, say it.”

  “Fine. Okay. I still stand by your decision to not to pursue it. I looked at that house you’re building today and I was so bloody proud of you for doing that it was a bit embarrassing.”

  Well on the way to being mollified, Andrew said, “It’s not just me, you know. There’s a whole crew, and we’re about to take a back seat to the plumbing and electrician subcontractors.”

  “I know, but you’re out there, building this building and that’s more than some other people who were on chemo six months ago do, you know.”

  “But?”

  Brian sighed. “But I just don’t like it when you say things like architecture isn’t an option anymore. I know you still love it because I saw how you were this afternoon after talking to Sheridan. You were happy like I haven’t seen you happy in a long time.”

  At first, Andrew had been annoyed at being called away from his work, but they’d almost finished up and Terri and Damo had assured him they could to the final clean up in no time without him. Sam had grumbled but made no real objection, so Andrew had followed Vaughn into the office—Ron had already left for a meeting—and found himself looking at plans for the first time in two years.

  It had been frightening at first. What if he’d forgotten even simple things? Or everything? The attention from Vaughn was equally scary and flattering. This man had been his professional idol for years and to now be standing beside him and expected to talk knowledgably about the field Vaughn was an expert in was terrifying. And Vaughn hadn’t exactly held his hand, either. He’d let Andrew study the incomplete plans for several minutes, then started asking questions. Andrew had floundered for the first ten minutes, but it had all started coming back to him with Vaughn’s help. By the end of the discussion, the words were flowing easily as Andrew applied his practical experience to the theory he’d learned at uni. Rediscovering that enjoyment in architecture and exploring it in new ways with Vaughn had been . . . good.

  Vaughn’s initial interest obviously hadn’t been feigned. Once Andrew was confidently answering his questions, he’d listened intently and expanded on his ideas, leading them into more interesting areas.

  That was why Andrew had wanted to work with Vaughn. Not just because they had similar goals about creating eco-friendly options that were cost effective and actually worked, but because he made Andrew think and challenge himself as well as
the status quo. It had been a reminder of how he’d once been, before fear and uncertainty had taken over his life.

  “Maybe I was just happy to see you,” Andrew said.

  “No. This was before you knew I was there.” Brian grimaced. “Look, you were either happy about talking architecture with your hero, or happy about talking with the hot stud architect. You pick and there’s only one right answer, okay?”

  Andrew stretched out his leg under the table and ran his foot up Brian’s calf, since he couldn’t hold his hand on the tabletop. “First option. Vaughn brought one of his old designs and wanted to discuss it with me. It was good. I haven’t forgotten everything at least. But it isn’t going to change my mind.”

  Brian regarded him for a long moment, lower lip caught between his teeth. Which made Andrew want to coax it out and suck on it for an hour or two.

  “Well, you got the right answer, so go you,” Brian finally conceded.

  “Good to know.”

  “How come you didn’t tell me Sheridan was the architect on this job and that he’d spoken to you?”

  Andrew rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, we weren’t exactly communicating too well when he spoke to me the first time, so . . . As for not telling you he was the architect, it wasn’t important at the time.”

  After another long moment, Brian smiled. “Fair enough. Shall we kick on with the next part of this date?”

  “Which is?”

  “The kissing.”

  Completely on board, Andrew called the waiter over and asked for the cheque. Brian insisted on paying, since he’d done the asking out.

  “I do have one question for you,” Andrew said as they walked back to the Jag.

  “Ask away.”

  “Do you really think Vaughn is a hot stud?”

  Brian cocked an eyebrow at him. “You don’t? Aren’t you bi?”

  “Yes.” It was getting easier each time he said it. Well, around Brian at least. Andrew was pretty certain it was going to be harder with other people. “And yeah, he’s good looking. I just wasn’t sure you noticed guys that way. You haven’t said anything about being bi or pan.”