Surrounded by Idiots
Page 4
“The More the Merrier! Your Friends Are My Friends.…”
People with lots of Yellow in their behavior are focused on creating relationships. They are outgoing and can be extremely persuasive. They’re enthusiastic, excited, and happy to talk about their feelings for others and, not infrequently, for complete strangers.
Yellows can talk to anyone. They are not at all shy, perceiving most people they meet as pleasant. They even see strangers in a positive light—they’re just friends you haven’t met yet.
Many people notice that Yellows are always smiling and laughing. That’s undoubtedly one of a Yellow’s strengths. Their optimism is invincible. Comments about how everything is going to hell are often met by remarks about “What a beautiful view we have!”
Just like Reds, Yellows have lots of energy. They find most things interesting, and Yellow individuals are the most curious people you’ll ever meet. Everything new is enjoyable, and a great deal of Yellow energy is spent finding new ways of doing things
Who gets the most holiday cards, do you think? Yellows. Most contacts in their cell phone? That’s right—Yellows. Most friends on Facebook? You’re getting the idea—Yellows. They have friends absolutely everywhere, and they are excellent at keeping in touch with everyone in order to keep up-to-date. Yellows want to know what’s going on. They want to be where it’s all happening, and they will make sure to be at every party.
“Isn’t It Amazing? I Just Loooove It to Bits!”
If there is anything that characterizes Yellow behavior, it’s unlimited optimism and enthusiasm. Few things can keep their good mood away for long. The Yellows’ entire being is concentrated on one thing—finding opportunities and solutions.
In his day, Hippocrates called Yellows the sanguine ones. This simply means optimists. Nothing is really a problem. It will all sort itself out. It’s neither here nor there that the world just happens to be full of worries and hardships. With their incurably positive outlook on life, Yellow individuals give joy to the people around them with their cheerful acclamations and entertaining jokes.
I don’t know where Yellows get their tremendous energy, but it’s focused on having fun and devoting themselves to social togetherness. Everyone must be involved, and a Yellow will not allow anyone to be gloomy.
Micke, a good friend of mine, is Yellow, and his life has included more than his fair share of challenges. His wife left him, his children have had problems at school, and on various occasions his employers have gone bankrupt and he has lost his job. I can’t even count how many times he’s had a car accident, his home has been burgled, or he has been robbed of expensive items. Sometimes I hardly dare to answer the phone when I see that Micke is calling. To tell the truth, Micke is the most jinxed man I have ever met.
But what’s so curious about him is that none of this ever seems to bother him. Naturally, he’s upset when accidents happen, but he can’t stay upset for long periods of time. Inside, he just bubbles along most of the time.
I remember one occasion when we were both quite young. He had just bought an old Alfa Romeo. It was a two-seater with two doors. Painfully rusty, it was nothing short of a miracle that it even held together. Micke had the car for about a week when he hit a lamppost and couldn’t get out on the driver’s side. When I heard about the accident, I was worried and called to see if he was okay. His answer? “It was fine! I just got out the other door!”
The Optimistic Consultant Strikes Again
Since Yellow individuals are so positive and cheerful, they spread joy and warmth to those around them. With their uncontrollable optimism, they demolish all opposition quite effectively.
Who can be upset when there’s someone pointing out the good things all the time?
How could anyone fail to be inspired by a person who refuses to see half-empty glasses? Who always sees the positive?
One of my customers is a sales director for a pharmaceutical company. Marianne worked her way up in the company via what we call the long route. Her managers and coworkers all agree that she’s been so successful simply due to one thing: her amazing ability to inspire those around her.
On a number of occasions, I’ve watched her conduct sales meetings. I consider myself a decent motivator, but when Marianne gets going you just have to take your hat off to her. Within a couple of minutes, the room is so inspired if she were to ask the sellers to jump out the window they’d do it, even though they are on the fifth floor. She makes everything sound so simple.
“It’s a great idea to jump out the window! We can do this. Let’s jump!”
And the group jumps after her. With her optimism and bright outlook on life, she is phenomenal at getting people to achieve great feats—just by closing their eyes to anything negative. With sheer inspiration, she can inflate people’s confidence to incredible levels.
I once saw her dealing with an irate customer who felt mistreated by her organization. Not a situation most people dream about! It turned out it wasn’t a problem for Marianne. By just smiling steadfastly at the customer and refusing to listen to his negative comments, she moved him from an angry face to a gentle smile and finally to boisterous laughter. How could that happen? I don’t think that even she could explain the underlying process. It simply came naturally to her.
What Happens If We Turn Everything Upside Down?
You won’t find anyone more resourceful than a Yellow. If there is anything Yellows have an aptitude for, it’s seeing solutions where others do not. Yellows have the unique ability to twist and turn things. To put it simply, they turn everything upside down and think outside the box. Call it what you want, but their thinking doesn’t always follow any set pattern.
They move quickly: The Yellow’s intellect is very fast, which means that it can be difficult to keep up. Sometimes they can even find it difficult to explain their wild ideas.
A good friend of mine likes to work on his home. Everything relating to interior design and garden design fascinates him. I suspect that Robban would secretly rather work in design on a full-time basis instead of his actual job.
I’ve seen this for myself, but I’ve also heard from his wife how he goes about things. He walks around the garden, and she starts counting backwards from ten. On seven, Robban says, “Honey, I have an idea.”
There are a few reasons for Robban’s creativity. It’s easy for him to think in images. He can simply “see” things in front of him long before they even exist. And he has courage; he’s not afraid to try new things. Or to talk about them. Usually, his mouth works parallel to his mind as he discovers these ideas.
I’ve worked with a Yellow who couldn’t even cross the street without coming up with a few really thought-provoking business ideas—just by looking around. How does this work? I don’t really know. For a long time, we asked him to write down his proposals. You’ll learn more about how a Yellow would react to that kind of structure when we start talking about weaknesses.
Yellows are also helped by the fact that they rarely have any limitations. A Yellow dares to go beyond the usual conventions when he’s in a creative mode. Normally, of course, structure and hierarchy in a business are a kind of limitation, but Yellows are rarely concerned about such things. In fact, they often don’t seem to know that such limitations are there.
Need help with new suggestions or ideas? Hunt out the most Yellow person you know. Are you stuck in the same way of thinking? Do you need a new perspective on an old problem? Speak to a Yellow. You might not be able to use whatever idea scheme they come up with—in fact, realism isn’t a factor for a Yellow—but one thing can lead to another and then all of a sudden you have something that works.
Selling Snow to a Penguin
With all their energy and optimism, Yellows are very persuasive. It’s easy for them to get carried away, seeing opportunities and solutions where others might only see a dead end.
It’s often said that there is a difference between convincing and persuading, and many Yellows cross these
boundaries. But what they say sounds so good. With the help of language, they really are masters at winning over people to their side.
Regarding language: As I describe in the chapter on body language (page 106), most Yellows have a rich and varied way of gesticulating, so that they can convince you not just with their words, but with their entire bodies.
But it’s not just energy and will. Yellows have a unique way of expressing themselves that sways their listeners. They often use vivid and colorful imagery when they speak, which appeals to all five senses and creates an impression that is felt by the whole body.
Without even knowing it, many Yellows are skilled rhetoricians. They know instinctively that their ethos, the bearer of the message, is just as important as the message itself. Therefore, they are mindful of getting through to you as an individual—usually by being friendly and shaking your hand; making small personal comments; making you feel important.
Many politicians are phenomenal at this—think of Bill Clinton, for instance. He has the kind of charisma that is naturally present in many Yellows—a noticeable interest in another person, the ability to ask exactly the right questions so that others feel that they are important.
“I Know Lots of People. All of Them, in Fact.”
If Yellows aren’t allowed to cultivate their relationships, they will slowly wither and die. Okay, this may be somewhat exaggerated, but the very definition of Yellow behavior revolves around their ability to build relationships.
The Yellow traits are inspirational. They inspire those around them, and the best way to achieve this is through building relationships. A Yellow knows that by far the most important factor in business, for example, is relationships. If your customer doesn’t feel positively about you, it will be difficult to make any headway.
Yellows know everyone. They have more acquaintances than everyone else. They like everyone. A Yellow doesn’t need to know a person very well before calling him his friend. Anyone who doesn’t actively dislike them they consider to be a pal. Remember that when Reds ask what is going to be done, Yellows want to know immediately who will do it. This question is crucial for Yellows. If the team or group does not function smoothly, a Yellow will not feel well. He needs functioning relationships for him to come into his own.
Conclusions on Yellow Behavior
What do you think? Have you ever met a real Yellow? Famous people who exhibit clear yellow traits include Oprah Winfrey, Robin Williams, Ellen DeGeneres, and, to take some fictional examples, Pippin from The Lord of the Rings and Han Solo from Star Wars.
6
Green Behavior
Why Change Is So Difficult and How to Get Around It
“How Are We Going to Do This? It’s Not Urgent, Right?”
The Green person is the most common. You’ll meet him virtually everywhere. What’s the easiest way to explain who he is? Well, I would like to describe him as being the average of all the other colors. Please don’t interpret that as something negative; keep in mind what this truly implies. While Reds are stressed performance seekers, Yellows are creative bon vivant guys, and Blues are perfectionist Knights of Excel Spreadsheets (see pages 13 and 14), Greens are the most balanced. They counterbalance the other more extreme behavioral traits in an elegant way. Hippocrates called them phlegmatic people. The Aztecs called them earth people. Calm, leisurely, and easygoing are some words that could also describe them.
It’s just a matter of stating the facts—not everyone can or should be extreme; otherwise, we would never get anything done. If everyone were a driven leader, there would be no one left to be led. If everyone were an enthusiastic entertainer, there would be no one to amuse. And if everyone were a detail-oriented perfectionist, there wouldn’t be anything to keep in order.
This means that Greens don’t stick out in the same way as others do and they often lend serenity to a situation. Where Reds and Yellows start off in top gear, Greens are significantly calmer. And where Blues get caught up in details, Greens try to feel their way to what is right.
If you have a friend who is Green, he’ll never forget your birthday. He won’t begrudge you your successes, and he won’t try to take the spotlight off you by reeling off his own stories. He won’t try to outdo you, and he will never pester you with new and drastic demands. Nor will he see you as a competitor if you were ever placed in that situation. He won’t take command unless he has been told to do so. And he won’t—
Just a minute please, you might be thinking. That’s just a lot of things he doesn’t do. So what does he do?
You can’t ignore the fact that Greens are more passive than others. They’re not as driven as Reds, not as resourceful as Yellows, and not as orderly as Blues. This describes most of the population.
For this very reason, they are easy to deal with. They let you be yourself. They don’t demand much, and they never kick up a fuss unnecessarily. Children with Green features are usually described as being little angels. They eat when they’re supposed to; they sleep when they’re supposed to; they do their homework when they’re supposed to.
But it’s not just that. Greens will not offend people if they can avoid it. They’d rather not offend anyone at all, and they won’t talk back if the boss makes a strange decision. (At least not to his face, that is. During the coffee break it may be somewhat different, but more on that later.) They usually strive to fit in, which makes them more balanced people. They’re ideal for calming down confused Yellows, for example. And they’re excellent at warming up Blues, who, on occasion, can indeed be a tad too cold.
We often hang out with a family where the husband is Yellow and loves to horse around and take center stage—he comes up with amusing games and is more than happy to answer any questions himself. Everyone else is his audience, and he never steps out of the spotlight. His wife is Green. Calm, composed, and as laid back as can be. When he jumps around and frolics (these are middle-aged people), she sits quietly on the sofa and smiles. She’s just as entertained as everyone else by his antics. When I ask her if she ever gets tired of her comical husband, she sometimes replies quietly, “But he’s having so much fun.”
This is a typical Green trait. They are very tolerant towards other people’s more singular behavior. Is the picture becoming clearer? Greens are the people you might not think about—most of us, that is.
Some Simple Basics
Green people are kindness personified. You can expect a helping hand whenever you need it. They are pronounced relational people who will do everything within their power to save your relationship. And they will invest lifelong. They will keep track of when your birthday is, when your partner’s birthday is, when your children’s birthdays are, et cetera. It wouldn’t surprise me if they even know when your cat first saw the light of day.
It’s often said that Greens are the best listeners, and this is true. A Green will always be more interested in you than in himself, and if perchance he should be interested in himself he would never dream of showing it. You often find Greens in the public sector, where they help others, with no concern for personal gain.
They are also pronounced team players. The team, the group, the family, always comes before the individual, and I would even say that societies consisting of Greens will always take care of the sick and the weak. They will not leave a friend in need; you can call them at any time. They always offer a shoulder to cry on.
Change isn’t their greatest strength, even though change isn’t completely foreign to them. If you can simply justify the change and give him enough time, even a Green will be prepared to try new things. But a Green will remind you that you always know what you have, but you never know what you might end up with. The grass is not automatically greener on the other side, so to speak.
The Best Pal in the World
As I’ve already said, these are naturally friendly people. When they tell you that they sincerely care about how you’re doing, you can trust that they lie awake sleepless for your sake. Just like Yellows, Gr
eens are relationship people and their interest in others is genuine and authentic.
If you ask a group of people if anyone is prepared to lend a hand and no one steps up to help, a Green will jump in and shout, “Choose me!” Why? Because he didn’t want to leave you in the lurch. He knows that if you don’t get any help you’ll feel bad, and even though he can be passive, he’s always prepared to help a friend.
I still remember a young woman I worked with at a consulting firm years ago. Admittedly, Maja was certainly Blue as well, but above all, she was Green. Her problem was obvious: When someone asked for help, she always said yes. Every time.
It was difficult to find her desk due to her workload, but she organized everything in the end. We could always rely on her assistance, handling all the things the rest of us had simply forgotten about. She had a warm and friendly smile, so we asked her to work in reception and have the first contact with new clients. She never failed to serve coffee, fix the cushions, or keep track of how long clients had been waiting.
Maja never forgot anyone’s birthday or anniversary (or their wives’ or children’s, for that matter). She frequently sent short emails to all of us stressed-out consultants reminding us that we had families who also needed to be looked after. Sure, we could take care of our own lives, but in her kindness and thoughtfulness Maja went out of her way to help. It was natural for her, and whenever we asked her to take it easy and take care of herself for a change she almost felt offended. She wanted to take care of us—it simply made her feel good. Of course, there were limits, and Maja constantly ran the risk of someone taking advantage of her huge heart. But when properly balanced, this selflessness is a beautiful quality.