The example I gave of the overdue project is a treacherous hidden trap. Because a project that’s delivered to a customer only has the value the customer believes it to have. Quality is of the utmost importance. If we’re careless—according to a Blue’s standards—we won’t get more orders from that customer. What will the lost revenue cost? So how can you value punctuality as being of more importance than the product itself? At the logical level, a Blue can make your objections seem nonsensical.
But if you know that you’re right (not just that it feels right), follow up afterwards to make sure that he’s back on track.
Conclusion: It’s difficult to criticize a perfectionist. He already knows the best method, and he won’t change his opinion just because you happen to have a fancier title on your business card. So it’s all about doing your homework very well.
You also need to remember that although it may be difficult to get a Blue to respond to feedback, he has no problem criticizing others. Remember, he sees all the mistakes everyone else makes and he will likely point out your mistakes when you least expect it. Not because he’s being vindictive, but just because you’ve botched up.
14
Who Gets Along and Why It Works
Group Dynamics at Their Finest
The short answer is that a group should consist of all colors to create the best possible dynamic. In a perfect world, we would have an equal number of each color. The Yellow comes up with a new idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, and the Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent. But this isn’t the case. Not infrequently, we find Yellows in positions better suited to Reds. Or, in the worst cases, they have been able to talk their way into a job that actually requires Blue behavior. Indeed, there are many examples of people who are sitting in the wrong chairs, and part of the explanation lies in the fact that they lack the natural prerequisites to manage their jobs. Moreover, all this has to do with what driving forces different people have. Different people are motivated by different things, and it can cause them to move away from their core behavior in specific situations. But that’s a whole other topic and not something I cover in this book.
So how do you put your team together? Look at the picture on the following page. Here you can see why certain combinations are more suitable than others. If you’re recruiting members to your team, this may be a good place to start.
As you can see, different colors work differently together. Again, there are plenty of exceptions, but if no one in the group has any knowledge of their behavior pattern some colors will naturally work well together. For instance, it’s generally easier for two people to work together if they have the same sense of tempo and work at a similar speed.
Natural Combinations
If we look at the diagram above, we can see that Blue and Green could be a suitable combination, without much of an effort from either of them. They would certainly recognize themselves in each other’s ability to breathe calmly and to think twice before doing something. Since both are introverts, each of them feels secure with the other. It’s the same kind of energy. Neither of them will build castles in the air, because they prefer to keep both feet on the ground. They don’t stress but allow themselves to dive deeply into things. Sure, they may find it difficult to make decisions, but the decisions that they do make will probably be well thought out.
Similarly, Red and Yellow work smoothly together, since they both want to shoot from the hip and always move forward. Here we also have the same kind of energy, only a different type. Both are powerful and outgoing, and because both are verbal, they can easily find the right words. Certainly, they’ll have a different focus in the conversation, but the dialogue will still flow. Both set high goals and think quickly. A team of Yellows and Reds will set a fast tempo, and while they are both clear about what they want, they’ll motivate those around them to achieve great things. The challenge probably lies in the fact that a Red can perceive a Yellow as being too talkative, but since neither of them is a world-class listener, they’ll both just switch off when it suits them.
Complementary Combinations
It also works to look at the other axis and make pairings based on each color’s focus. Both Blues and Reds are task oriented. Reds are certainly more interested in the result than in the process itself, and Blues are more concerned with the process and tend to ignore the result—but they’re at least speaking the same language. Both devote themselves to work and only spend limited time chatting about football or home improvement—except maybe at lunchtime. They would complement each other in a good way. If we liken this to a car, a Red is the accelerator, while a Blue is the brake. Both are needed in order to drive successfully. The trick is not to push both pedals at the same time.
Similarly, there is some logic in placing a Green with a Yellow. The tempo at which they work will be different, but both of them will be curious about each other. Both believe that people are interesting and important. While one likes to take it easy, the other likes having fun. They’ll easily find a similar focus. The Green will allow the Yellow to take as much space as he wants. One talks; the other listens. It can work out well. In addition, Greens are good at calming down the slightly hysterical Yellows, who sometimes have a hard time staying grounded. Of course, there’s a risk that they’ll fail to devote sufficient time to the work itself, but they will have a very good time. People around them might feel that they’re only having a good time and not actually delivering anything. As both can find it difficult to say no, it might also be a good idea to avoid entrusting them with too much money.
Challenging Combinations
At the same time, there are two very complicated combinations. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to work together, but it definitely means that there are obstacles that need to be considered. One possible solution is that both of them become more self-aware in the ways that they work and interact with each other.
Look at the illustration on the following page.
The right column shows the things the person himself sees in his profile. The left column shows how his exact opposite could perceive him in less favorable circumstances. You’ve probably heard that a person is a real bore, only to meet him and discover a very interesting person with lots of exciting things to say. Who’s right and who’s wrong? It depends on whom you ask.
The problem lies in the interaction between each color and its exact opposite. The positive image expresses how each profile experiences himself. The negative image is an expression of how he can be experienced by others. We all see different things.
Genuine Problems
It would be quite a challenge to put a Red and a Green together issues solve a problem. If the task depends on effective cooperation, then issues will quickly arise. In the beginning, the Green is very passive, especially when compared to the Red, who gets going even before he’s heard the instructions. While the Greens think it’s burdensome to have to do their part, the Reds have already started in a hurry.
The Red will be very critical of the Green’s constant moaning about the amount of work. At the same time, the Green will think that the Red is an aggressive son of a bitch who never listens. Nevertheless, under favorable circumstances it may work out. In general, a Green is prepared to cooperate; that’s their strength. They function well with many other people because they’re more accommodating than demanding. So there can be a certain logic in setting a Red with a Green. A Red likes giving orders, and a Green is usually okay with receiving orders.
Based on Marston’s theories (see page 227), the greatest challenge of all is to ask a Yellow and a Blue to work together. If neither of them is aware of how their personalities work, there will be friction from the outset. The Yellow dives into the task without the slightest idea what to do or how to do it. He doesn’t read any instructions, and he doesn’t listen long enough to find out what the task is actually about. He’ll speak at great length about what an exciting project they�
�ve been given. In the meantime, the Blue starts reading and researching all the material available. He doesn’t say a word but just sits there. More or less motionless—he thinks.
The Yellow, on the one hand, will consider him to be the most uninspiring bore he has ever met. The Blue, on the other hand, will only be disturbed by the Yellow’s perpetual verbal barrage. He’ll slowly begin to boil beneath the surface because of the incessant buzzing around him. He believes that the Yellow is a frivolous windbag, not deserving any attention whatsoever. And when the Yellow finally realizes that he hasn’t won the Blue over to his side, he’ll pull out all the stops and talk even more. In the worst case, he’ll try to charm the Blue, which will end up driving them to disaster. They’ll sit in their own corners, with faces like they’ve tasted sour milk, both mad for completely different reasons.
Self-awareness, my friend, is the solution.
Go Green!
It is not easy to read and interpret everyone. If a person only has one color, then you won’t have any problems with him once you’ve finished reading this book. It will be obvious what you should do. A person who is only Red or only Yellow is hard to miss. But even the genuine Greens or Blues are quite easy to detect if you know what to look for.
As I mentioned earlier, statistically speaking only about 5 percent of the population has just one color that shows in their behavior. Around 80 percent have two, and the rest have three. No one has four, not with the tool that I use.
It’s also relatively easy to recognize people who have two colors. Two color combinations normally follow any of the axes. So they are: Blue/Red, Red/Yellow, Yellow/Green, or Green/Blue.
It does happen, of course, that purely opposite qualities can be found in one and the same person. I’ve met lots of Yellow/Blue people. There is nothing wrong with that; it’s just less common. But what’s really unusual is distinctly Red/Green profiles. Why this is the case I don’t know.
On one occasion, I met a woman who was a middle manager working for a company in the car industry. She was determined and powerful in her manner, but, at the same time, she was extremely caring. Her care and attention for her employees was genuine, and it had some strange results. Among other things, she could lose her temper very quickly. Her telling-offs were legendary. Once she realized this, however, she would do whatever she needed to soften the effects of her actions and repair the damage. She felt genuinely bad for having been hard on various individuals, but at the same time she couldn’t control herself. This friction between the two conflicting colors in her behavior (Red and Green) meant that she was very close to burnout.
People with three colors will always be more difficult to interpret. If someone is very difficult to place on the map, it may very well be because he has three colors. The situation will determine what his behavior will be.
The best advice I can give if you really can’t analyze the person you meet is to shut your mouth and start listening. Simply act Green if you are unsure. People sometimes tells me that they can’t understand a certain person because he doesn’t do anything. But even a person who is very passive exhibits some form of behavior. And at this stage, you know what color is associated with someone who doesn’t do much—that’s a common Blue behavior.
15
Written Communication
How to Evaluate Someone When You Can’t Meet in Person
Many things are revealed in the way we write. Different colors have distinct writing styles; some take the time to express themselves, while others keep brief. If you have the chance to read through a longer writing sample that the person in question has written—a report, a column, a letter, or a letter to the editor—you have lots to go on. Very often it’s possible to detect a color in the written word. If you’re a person of few words in speech, you can also be the same in your writing. And vice versa.
If the only thing you have is an email, then you have to go on what you have. Let’s say that you’re replying to a customer’s message. You want to prepare yourself properly. You look carefully at how his email reads. Is it factual? Is there any kind of personal touch? Is it short and concise, or does it seem to have been written a little spontaneously? All of these little details are important signals that you can use to your advantage. As usual, there are plenty of exceptions, but there are still patterns to be aware of.
Here are some examples of what this can look like.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting
Meeting tomorrow morning at 11. BE PUNCTUAL!
-K
What do you think? Is K screaming because he used capital letters? It’s not clear. It could be that he just wanted to stress that the time for the meeting is important. Maybe he was rushing out somewhere. It doesn’t matter to him that the person receiving the email might be put off by the abrupt style and the caps lock. As always, a Red can live with that. Get a grip! He just wanted to be clear.
Your action: Reply instantly! Be short and concise. One way might be to simply reply: “Okay.”
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting
Hello, Cina! What’s up? Were you at the game last night? I saw that Lasse was there. He spilled his drink all over himself, and I thought that I would never stop laughing! Check out the picture I put on Facebook. By the way, I thought that we could sit down and chat about that customer tomorrow morning before lunch if it works for you. Is eleven o’clock okay?
Ciao! Krille
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting
Oh, I forgot to attach the photo. Anyway, here it is.
Krille
Even in writing, a Yellow expresses himself in a very spontaneous and easygoing manner. He likes to share stories and keep things personal. Note the social babble about poor Lasse and his drink. A good laugh that must be highlighted to attract your attention.
Your reply? There isn’t any need to rush, but don’t fail to respond or he’ll feel insecure. Be cordial as well. Don’t forget to thank him for the funny picture and mention that you laughed at his story.…
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting
I just wanted to remind you about the meeting tomorrow at eleven. Hope it still works for you. I’m going to bring in some homemade cinnamon buns to have with our coffee. Have a good one!
With kind regards, Kristian
A softer, more personal tone. Kristian had probably polished this email appropriately, to make sure there was nothing controversial in it. Reminding people about meetings that were booked a long time previously can be perceived as slightly offensive by some people, so here we want to be certain that nothing can be misinterpreted.
And how do you respond to this pleasant email? Be personal and benign in return. Express your thanks. You don’t have to say that it will be great to have some cinnamon buns, but if you do it won’t do any harm. Then remember to take it easy and not to stress at the meeting.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Meeting
Good morning, Christina.
Ahead of tomorrow’s meeting with our client, I would appreciate it if you could familiarize yourself with the necessary background information.
I’ve attached three documents relating to the issue.
Greetings,
Kristian Jonsson
+ 46704808080
Copy of dates and participants.xls
IT Strategy Update UGMT.doc
Flyer Template 27 Nov 2014.doc
The original invitation to the meeting was sent out a long time ago, but you’ve already figured that out, right? An alarm was probably set on the computer to send out a reminder about the meeting a day beforeha
nd. The text in the email is factual and doesn’t contain even a trace of a personal touch. There is a little note reminding you that it’s best to be well prepared.
What’s the best way to answer this Blue email? Confirm that you’ve received it along with the files. Say that you will get back to him if you have any questions after reading through the material. And know that the sender assumes you’ll read the whole thing carefully.
16
What Makes Us as Mad as Hell?
Temperament Can Reveal Everything About a Person
At the end of this book, I will present you with a history lesson. It is all about Hippocrates’ four temperaments, describing the same differences that this book is all about.
It’s possible to draw conclusions about someone’s behavior based on his temperament. By “temper” or “temperament” I don’t just mean what frustrates a person but rather how he reacts when something unexpected happens. Another way of saying this might be to talk about a person’s disposition. It can be how he reacts to changing circumstances and what sort of energy he has.
But yes, anger is a good and exciting gauge by which to judge a person’s color. Moreover, it’s situational. What upsets one person may not upset someone else in the least. By observing how someone reacts when things go wrong, you can get some important clues. Let me give you an example of a quick diagnosis.
What the hell…!!!
For the sake of simplicity, let’s compare different temperaments to different types of drinking glasses. I would suggest a shot glass for a Red temperament. “But,” you might say, “that little glass doesn’t hold much.”
Surrounded by Idiots Page 19
