Surrounded by Idiots

by Thomas Erikson

  Håkan Seller of Advertising Space on One of the Major Commercial TV Channels. Mostly Yellow but with Some Splashes of Green. No Blue or Red.

  What do you think of this tool? DISA language?

  Really great! An incredibly useful tool that more people should know about. I recognized so much of myself in the book, too. It was brilliant. I showed the book to everyone I know, and we just had to laugh about how accurate it was. I’ve read most of the book, mostly about Yellows. I don’t agree with everything, but most of it was spot-on.

  What parts of Yellow behavior did you think were most accurate?

  That we Yellows are very creative and resourceful. People are always telling me that. Also, I’m adept at solving complex problems, because I can see solutions in a different way than everyone else.

  What do you mean by different?

  Einstein once said that you can’t solve a problem with the same mind-set as when you created it. Or something like that. I think that’s exactly right. That’s why I always approach any problem with new, fresh eyes. My customers always appreciate my creative thinking. And I’m really good at winning people over. I’ve always found it easy to charm people; it is a kind of natural talent actually. I know lots of people; I always have. And I’m great at public speaking. In school, I was president of the student council and often spoke to the entire school.

  The entire school?

  Yes, to all the students. Or not to all, not really. Okay, usually to my grade. All the freshmen. But there was always a great atmosphere, and people liked it. Since then, I just love talking in front of people. I’m often asked to be the spokesman in different contexts.

  Can you give me some examples?

  Oh yes. When there are projects at work, for example. I’m always the one to report back to our bosses. I give a great presentation at client meetings, too. If there are several of us from the firm, I do the talking.

  What do the others think about that?

  No problem. They like avoiding it. Lots of people have difficulty talking in front of people, as you probably know. Were you a psychologist? I know a girl who’s a psychologist. She works at a prison; seems very interesting. She says most of the prisoners are pretty miserable, which isn’t hard to believe. I wouldn’t make it being locked away like that.

  I’m not actually a psychologist. I’m a behavioral specialist.

  There was one thing in the book that I didn’t understand—areas for improvement.

  What did you think that meant?

  The book talked about how Yellows are quick to make decisions, and that’s true. But I disagree with the idea that my decisions aren’t well thought out. I’m very analytically inclined. I always do thorough research. I gather all the facts before I decide on anything. So in that regard the report book was off base.

  I understand. Are there any other discrepancies?

  That I use too many words when I criticize. That’s completely wrong. I’m very concise and articulate, so I don’t think that was accurate. Also the bit about following instincts and going with your gut—that’s actually a good thing, not a weakness.

  To go more on feeling than on facts?

  Exactly. Humans are emotional beings. So we should use our feelings. Especially me. I’m very intuitive, so it’s something I’m really good at. Not everyone has good instincts, so that’s a real asset.

  That may be true. Do you think people can develop their instincts over time?

  No. It’s something you’re born with. You either have it, like me, or you don’t.

  Then it is too late to do anything about it?

  No, it’s not too late. That’s was not what I meant.

  But you said if people didn’t have a gut feeling they couldn’t develop that skill?

  Okay, maybe I was exaggerating. But it’s definitely important!

  Do you ever need to keep emotions in check and use logic instead?

  Oh yes, absolutely. It’s very important to think logically and rationally. I always say that. You have to look at what works and go from there. I think that it’s easier for someone like me, who has some experience. I have been a salesperson for many years, so I know what to take into account.

  I’m sorry, but I am a little confused. Just now you told me that it was only gut feeling that was important. How do you reconcile those two things?

  You’re twisting my words. I never said that you shouldn’t use logic. [At this point, Håkan crosses his hands over his chest and compresses his lips.] What I’m saying is that you should go on gut feeling. [Pause.] And facts.

  Let’s move on. What was the most practical thing you learned after reading the book?

  That Blues are boring. Though I already knew that beforehand. I just didn’t know that they were Blue. But those red-tape jackasses, well … I remember once I was working on this project. Nothing too complicated, and we’d already done the same thing before. A special way to sell a new product line. We had a couple of Blue guys on the team. They were smart, well informed, and everything, but they never got started on the job. They planned and wrote lists and made calculations and messed around with details. But they didn’t actually do anything!

  Maybe they weren’t as good at using their gut feeling?

  What do you mean?

  So you find it hard to work with Blues?

  They can’t keep up with me, that’s all.

  Has what you learned in the book affected your personal life in any way?

  No. I’m the same as I always. I’ve got lots of friends. The parties we organize at home are legendary. The neighbors talk about them for months afterwards.

  So you invite the neighbors, too? That sounds very nice.

  Oh, no way! They’re boring as hell.

  But what do the neighbors talk about then? If they didn’t even come to the party?

  [Pause.] Well, man, who knows? Ha-ha!

  What advice would you give the people who meet you? What should they consider?

  Who meet me?

  Yes. How would you like those around you to react?

  Let me tell you. Don’t take life so seriously. I mean, we live only once. People should remember that. We should all let ourselves have fun at the same time. And don’t caught up in little things all the time. Move on. Don’t get hung up on things. I don’t. Life’s just a joyride.

  Okay, that’s what you believe. But what advice would you give to those who meet you? How would you like to be treated?

  With a smile. You can get very far with a smile.

  And when it comes to work? How would you like to be treated there?

  Same thing I just said. With a smile. The rest will always work out.

  [Pause.] Okay. There aren’t any perfect people. We all have our faults and shortcomings, so what would you say your weaknesses are, do you think?

  I don’t usually think in that way. My focus has always been on positive things. I like to emphasize the good things in life. If everyone went around thinking about what doesn’t work, then nothing would get done, right?

  That’s logical, but every behavior profile has weaknesses. They don’t just go away because we avoid talking about them.

  That’s not what I mean. What I meant is that you shouldn’t focus on negative things. It’s better to emphasize the positive. God knows there’s enough depressing stuff in the world already, right? Take, for instance, Green behavior. They worry about everything. They see danger absolutely everywhere. I mean, you can’t go around being anxious all the time. It doesn’t work like that. I have a neighbor who’s afraid of everything. Especially new things, which are the things that I’m good at. Sometimes I think he’s even scared of his own shadow. Or think about Blue behavior. Risk-phobic! Everything is a risk for them. Even if you know the result you’ll get, they’re still focused on the risks. That’s totally incomprehensible to me.

  You’re absolutely right! Greens aren’t inclined to change things, Blues get stuck analyzing risks. Do you see any weaknesses in Red behavior?


  Cantankerous. That’s what I think about Reds. Lots of them are actually quite nasty. Sure, they’re result oriented and whatnot, but there’s no need to be rude to get things done. Some of them can be so short. You know, you send them a nice long text message, and the reply you get is just: “Okay.” It takes five seconds to write a longer message, it doesn’t cost anything, and it’s so much more personable! I’m always very careful about how I express myself.

  So you’ve analyzed the weaknesses in Reds, Greens, and Blues. Do you think that there are any areas for development for Yellow behavior?

  Yeaaah … it all depends on self-awareness. Without self-awareness, things can get a little crazy. [Pause.]

  Are you thinking of anything in particular?

  The part about being a bad listener. That’s important, ’cause if you’re not aware of it, then the conversation can go south. Though sometimes you just can’t sit around and listen. A lot of times I’m forced to take command in meetings and run the show or else nothing will happen. But I can keep things moving along, so it works out very well.

  Okay, so some Yellows can learn to listen better. What do things look like for you? Do you think you have any weaknesses you could be working on?

  [A very long pause sets in.]

  Nothing that comes to mind.

  Elisabeth Employee at a Public Health-Care Organization A Green with some Elements of Blue. She Has a Hint of Yellow but No Red at All.

  What do you think of this tool? DISA language?

  It was fun to read the book! I felt like I already knew a lot about my behavior, but I think this has made it even clearer. Now I know that Reds think I’m stubborn, and that I’m a bit cautious by nature. But I want everyone to be in agreement. Cooperation is important to me, and I think everyone should feel like that.

  What did you take away from the book?

  My son gave me the book as a birthday present. He’s so kind, he always gives me something, even though I said I don’t want any presents. He’s unemployed and has some money troubles, but Filip is caring. It took me a while to get started reading the book. It was actually a little hard for me to get into it, mostly because I was interrupted all the time. But once I got going, I enjoyed it! There are such funny examples. I read the sections about my husband’s colors aloud to him, and we laughed a lot.

  What colors do you think he has?

  Oh, he’s Yellow. And Blue. At the same time, actually. Can someone be like that?

  Yes. It’s absolutely possible. What did you think was funny?

  The parts about him being optimistic about time. He always believes that he’ll get way more done than he actually does. And then we hit traffic the second we get in the car. Or he hops into the shower three minutes before guests start arriving. Things like that. But that optimism is part of the reason I fell for him thirty years ago. He’s a good guy, my Tommy.

  What will you take with you in the form of practical knowledge?

  That I get on well with other Greens, which is good, because there are so many of us! I liked the part about how Greens take care of each other all the time. That’s important. You’ve got to do that. But nowadays it feels as if everyone is becoming more and more selfish, but I don’t think it will stay like that in the long run. I also read a lot about the Yellows, like my husband, and about Blues, like my sister. She is very straitlaced. Very rigid and a little bit uninterested.

  Uninterested in what?

  In the rest of the world, really. She never asks how things are going, and hardly calls you on your birthday.

  Hardly calls? Does that mean she doesn’t call you on your birthday?

  Well, she does. But it feels like she’s doing it out of obligation rather than out of genuine interest. And she can be really critical as well. Tommy redid our back deck a few years ago. Then Eivor came—she is my sister—and the first thing she did was start criticizing his work.

  What did she say?

  The first words out of her mouth were to point out that the deck railing was two degrees off from being level.

  Was it?

  Well, it was a tiny bit crooked. But why did she have to point that out? He’d been working on the deck for several weeks, and instead of complimenting his hard work, she just started criticizing everything.

  So it wasn’t just the railing that she criticized?

  [Elisabeth shakes her head.]

  What do you think about Reds?

  Yes … they’re okay, in their own way. [Pause.]

  What do you mean?

  They’re very efficient. They get a lot done and they’re quick. Sometimes I wish I had a little more of that ambition in me, but I don’t. I’m just me.

  But you think it might be helpful to be a little Red—sometimes?

  Yes, sure. But you are who you are. And they can be a bit … tough.

  How are they tough?

  Well, a little bit insensitive in certain situations. Our department head is probably a Red. He’ll say just about anything. And the surgeons are terrible to deal with. They boss people around however they want.

  How does that affect you?

  It’s hard for me to deal with conflict. You can’t avoid it completely, I know that, but it’s difficult when everyone is butting heads all the time.

  So everyone is at loggerheads all the time?

  Not really everyone. And not all the time of course. But we definitely have communication problems. There’s a bad atmosphere, and the management doesn’t listen. A lot of us are suffering in that work environment. I was on sick leave last year.

  Have you taken this up with your boss?

  We tried to, five years ago. It didn’t help much. It got better for a while, but then things just went back to normal.

  Okay. So how are you feeling now?

  It’s all right. We have a great team of people at work, and that’s important. We stick together. Many of us have been working there for a long time and we wouldn’t want to leave.

  What do you think about your own color? As a Green how do you get on with the other colors?

  Well, the Reds are tricky of course. They don’t like Greens, though there are a lot more of us. They complain about us; I’ve heard this personally. They say things; they call us names unnecessarily.

  What do you mean by that? Can you give a specific example?

  I don’t have a specific example, but it’s something you just know. You feel it when you’re dissatisfied. It kind of hangs in the air.

  You said that your boss was Red?

  Not my immediate boss, but the head of the department. Emphatically Red.

  And how do you know that?

  Well, he is. It’s clear as day. He walks quickly, talks quickly. Very demanding. Goal oriented. Difficult. He’s made cuts.

  If you implement cuts, you’re tough?

  Definitely.

  So how are things going with the head of the department then?

  I don’t know. I’ve never spoken to him directly. But you just know.

  You just know?

  We’ve heard about other employees who got into hot water with him.

  What happened then?

  One of them has been harshly reprimanded for little things like arriving late. She was called into the office immediately. But not me. I’m always on time.

  So someone didn’t come on time for work and was criticized for that?

  She got a telling-off.

  What was said?

  I wasn’t there, of course, and didn’t hear it, but she told me that it shouldn’t have been handled like that.

  Do you think it’s okay to be late for work?

  No, it’s not okay.

  But isn’t it the head of the department’s responsibility to correct behavior like that?

  I guess so, but it depends on how you do it.

  Did he scream and shout?

  No, but he said that no one was allowed to be late, and if she came in late again, she would get a warning.