We, the Forsaken

by Laken Cane

  Lila rushed toward me, shooting mutants as she ran, and grabbed my arm to drag me away. “Run,” she yelled.

  She’d lost her knit cap and her dark hair stood up all over her head. It was strange how different she looked without her hat. I was moving and thinking sluggishly, and had to mentally slap myself to get my thoughts away from the stupid hat. Or lack of stupid hat.

  I tried to pry her fingers from my arm. “Help them,” I said, but my voice was raw and hoarse and I knew she couldn’t understand what I was saying.

  She glanced at me, then did a double take. There was something in her eyes I didn’t like. Something that scared me.

  But there was no time to question her.

  I stumbled and fell to my knees, clumsy and disoriented. When she hauled me once more to my feet, there was nothing in her eyes but impatience.

  The world tilted and spun, and I groaned weakly as my stomach turned inside out and spewed its contents onto the ground. “I’m sick,” I managed.

  “No shit.”

  And then my dog came out of the shadows. He slunk toward me, limping, and nuzzled my hand.

  “You’re back,” I whispered.

  I’m not sure how Lila got me home—I wasn’t conscious for most of it. There were flashes of light and then darkness, then back to light, and I knew it was because of the bite.

  His bite would have killed me, had my friends not interrupted. The mutants would have devoured me.

  They didn’t leave their bite victims alive. Ever.

  Such a thing would get them punished severely. I’d seen it in his memories.

  But those memories I’d seen when his teeth were inside me began to drift away, and I was no longer sure of anything.

  Lila dumped me on my cot, and I tried to look up at her, but my eyes wouldn’t focus. “You saved my life again,” I whispered.

  She leaned over and pressed her nose against my crushed, swollen one. “You were bitten by a dog, do you understand me? A dog attacked you. Didn’t it? Do you hear me, bitch?”

  Then pain roared through my body. Red, unfamiliar pain. Pain so intense it followed me into the blackness when I passed out.

  “Do you want to live?” someone whispered, and the whisper echoed in my mind, bouncing and twirling, over and over.

  I thought it was Robin, until I remembered she was dead.

  Lila, then.

  Someone screamed, and I tried to tell them to shut up. Their screams hurt my ears. But I couldn’t speak, or open my eyes. I could only feel.

  I couldn’t fight my way out of the darkness. The suffocating darkness.

  But then, there was light.

  No, not light.

  Fire.

  I was on fire.

  Burning. Melting.

  Dying.

  Even through the flames I could hear the screaming.

  And then Robin pulled me from the flames.

  We stared at each other until finally, I lifted my fingers to touch her face.

  I see you.

  You can let me go now.

  I can’t let you go. You’re part of me.

  Always. But you can let me go now.

  I can’t. Oh, God, I can’t.

  Shhh. Don’t cry. It was never your fault, Teagan.

  I didn’t save you. I didn’t help you. I just watched him take you.

  It was never your fault.

  I didn’t help you!

  It was never your fault!

  But I—

  It’s time for you to let me go.

  I can’t.

  She peered into my eyes. You’re not alone anymore. You don’t need me now.

  I’m so sorry.

  I know.

  She stepped back, and her smile was exactly as I remembered. Sweet. Happy.

  Robin’s smile. My smile.

  She was free…or would be, if I could force myself to release her.

  I opened my mouth, finally, and dragged in a deep, sucking breath of air. I fought my way to the surface knowing one unquestionable thing.

  I was not the same.

  My pain was too much for tears.

  Richard, Caleb, and Lila leaned over me.

  “Teagan?” Caleb asked. “Are you okay?”

  “What happened?” Richard asked.

  His face was pale and what looked like three days’ worth of whiskers sprouted from his weathered skin. But his eyes, they were the same.

  “Yes,” I said. “I’m okay.”

  Caleb straightened and shot me a smile that wasn’t even a little bit amused. “You scared us, girl.”

  “More trouble than you’re worth,” Lila muttered, and there was a warning in her eyes as she stared at me.

  I pushed myself up, then swung my legs over the bed. “What happened?”

  Richard crossed his arms. “What do you remember?”

  An image of the mutant’s teeth flashed into my mind and I jerked, as though he were right there in front of me. “I was bitten.”

  Richard nodded. “Your neck is torn up.”

  I felt the bandage on my neck then slid my hand up to another blood-soaked bandage on my temple. “How long was I out?”

  “We just walked in,” he said.

  “She was out for only a couple of minutes,” Lila said. “I slapped some bandages on her after she passed out.”

  Richard sat beside me on the cot and took my hand. “Tell me what you remember.”

  “I…” I glanced at Lila, but she was staring at her feet. “I went to search for Sage. I stumbled into a group of mutants and a pack of wild dogs. I wasn’t there long.”

  “What bit your neck?” His eyes were steady, his voice gentle, but…

  “A dog,” I said. “Or a wolf. I saw one attack you seconds before I was hit. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” I smiled. “Lila saved my life.”

  Lila lifted her eyes to meet my stare, but her face was carefully blank.

  “How did she do that?” Richard asked.

  Lila’s fingers tightened on the bat she held over her shoulder. “I—”

  “I asked Teagan,” Richard said, mildly.

  I swallowed. “Can I have some water?”

  “I’ll get it.” Caleb turned and walked toward the kitchen.

  “Please,” Richard said. “Go on.”

  I shook my head, then flinched at the pain and put my fingers on the bandage around my neck. “A dog the size of a small car was busy tearing out my throat, Richard. I’m not sure what she did. I heard a yelp, opened my eyes, and there she was. The dog was lying on top of me. I think she hit it with her bat.” I didn’t look at her. “Then she yanked me up and bullied me into walking home. I don’t remember much of the walk here, or anything else until I woke up and you guys were here.”

  He watched me, saying nothing, until Caleb handed me a bottle of water. Finally, he stood. “Get some rest.”

  “Richard?”

  He turned back. “Yes?”

  “How’s your shoulder?”

  “I’ll be fine.”

  Then he turned and strode into the kitchen.

  I stood, realizing only then how violently I was trembling.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Lila.

  She glanced at Caleb, then shook her head. “What do you mean?”

  “Why was he questioning me like that?”

  “He wanted to make sure you weren’t bitten by mutant,” Caleb said.

  “What if a mutant had bitten me?” I asked. Because I had been bitten by a mutant, and I really, really wanted to know what that meant. I wasn’t sure why Lila had warned me to lie, but she knew Richard better than I did.

  Then I caught a whiff of blood, vomit, and piss, and wrinkled my nose. “What is that smell?”

  “That’d be you,” Lila said, dryly. “You reek.”

  “We don’t know what being bitten means,” Caleb said. “Not for sure, but we think—”

  “Let’s let her get cleaned up,” Richard interrupted, sticking his head around the
doorway. He and Caleb stared at each other for a long moment before Caleb nodded.

  “Sure,” he said. “Are you hungry, Teagan?”

  The thought of food turned my stomach. “Thirsty,” I said, and touched the thick bandage on my neck. My nose throbbed as well, and I pressed my fingers against it, wincing when a flash of pain lit up my entire face. “I think my nose is broken.”

  “Better than being dead,” Lila said. “You’ll get used to a little pain.”

  “I’m going to get some dinner,” Caleb said, and left the two of us alone.

  “I’d better get cleaned up,” I said.

  “Change this bandage while you’re in there,” Lila murmured. She touched the bandage on my neck, then gently tapped my head. “But this one…”

  I frowned. “I don’t remember hurting my head.” I kept my voice to a murmur, following her lead.

  She glanced over her shoulder then leaned close to whisper in my ear, “Rub some blood under the bandage on your head.”

  I nodded. “I don’t feel well, Lila.”

  Again, a warning sparked in her eyes. “You’ll be fine. Don’t be such a girl. It’s just a dog bite. Take some ibuprofen.”

  “Why didn’t you want them to know I was bitten?”

  “It’d complicate matters. You need to keep your business to yourself.”

  I looked around. “Hey. Where’s my dog?”

  “So he’s your dog now?”

  “Where is he?”

  “In the kitchen. He didn’t seem too concerned.”

  “I’m going to get cleaned up.” But at the doorway, I turned back to face her. “Lila. Thank you.”

  She sniffed, then shrugged. “Yeah, whatever. I found some lights and put them in the bathroom. There’s a first aid kit and some washcloths, as well. Couldn’t find any clothes that’d fit you.”

  She’d been busy, and I’d been out a lot longer than she’d told Richard and Caleb.

  “You found Caleb.”

  She nodded. “He’s got a story to tell us. Hurry back.”

  I shut the bathroom door and stared at my reflection in the small mirror, trying to figure out what was different. I looked the same, except for the fact that my cheekbones stood out a little more and my eyes seemed to sink back into my skull.

  The skin around my eyes was already turning blue from the blow the mutant had given me. Tomorrow, my upper face would be one big bruise.

  My nose was swollen, my nostrils rimmed with flaking bits of dried blood. “Gross,” I whispered, and dipped a washcloth in the bowl of water waiting.

  But before I washed the blood from my face, I took the bandage off my neck. It looked like a dog bite. Torn, bloody flesh gaped raw and red and when I actually saw how bad it looked, it began to hurt more than ever.

  I grabbed a small square of gauze from the first aid kit and wiped my neck and face with it. When it was good and bloody, I stuck it to my temple.

  “Ewww.” It wouldn’t fool Richard if he decided to actually look closely, but if he just peered under the bandage, all he’d see was the bloody pad. Maybe he’d think it was a wound, maybe he wouldn’t. Other than banging my head off the wall and hoping for a knot and a bruise, there was little I could do.

  I taped the bandage back over it, then re-bandaged and taped up the bite wound.

  My face was pale, and my lips were dry and peeling. I was bandaged, battered, and bruised, but it was still my reflection staring back at me in the dusty mirror.

  But something…something was different.

  I peered at myself, squinting, trying to figure it out.

  And finally, I got it.

  Robin. Oh, Robin.

  She didn’t answer. There were no echoes of laughter, no reassurances, no whispers.

  My eyes were like dark pieces of glass, and if I looked deeply enough, I could see the shards of my broken heart swimming in a pool of unshed tears.

  Because my sister was no longer with me.

  I’d let her go. Forever.

  And I told myself nothing else was different. I was unchanged.

  I allowed the lie.

  Tomorrow I’d face the truth.

  Right then, the truth was more than I could bear.

  Chapter Twenty

  When I finally left the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, they were sitting at the table waiting for me.

  “Sit,” Richard said, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. He frowned at me. “Unless you need to go lie down.”

  I slid into a chair. “I’m fine.” I shoved my hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you’re okay, Caleb.”

  He nodded, but didn’t meet my gaze. Maybe he was unhappy with me running away instead of trying to find him.

  I couldn’t blame him for that.

  I clasped my hands and stared down at them, and tiny tendrils of shame snaked through my belly. Being part of a group meant taking care of that group. How many times had Lila helped me?

  Caleb was paler than usual. Nearly every inch of his face was bruised or cut. They’d beaten him. Who knew what else they’d done? I wasn’t going to ask.

  “Caleb said the gods kept him isolated from the other prisoners—probably because they had no time to deal with him. He heard things.” Richard gave Caleb a nod. “Continue.”

  “Here’s what I think,” Caleb said. “The gods rule. The lesser mutants—what we call scouts and orphans—are like the gods’ children, and are pretty much treated that way. The gods aren’t nice parents. I saw a god strip the flesh from a mutant who, from what I heard, had eaten humans without permission.”

  I’d been hiding in a tree with Sage when that had happened. I squeezed my hands and listened. We needed to learn everything we could about the mutants. That was how we’d defeat them.

  Not mutants.

  Vampires.

  I frowned as a dim memory slithered through my mind. When I was bitten, had one of the mutants said they were vampires? Was I imagining things?

  I couldn’t remember.

  “I think when they first arrived they were messed up,” Caleb continued. “Confused. They weren’t as strong as they are now. Over the last two years, they’ve gotten stronger, smarter, and are relearning what they are. And I think they’ll keep growing.”

  “Why would you think that?” I asked him. “Did they sit around their bonfires telling stories?”

  He and the others stared at me.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Lila asked. “He’s just telling you what he thinks.”

  “Because what he thinks means nothing. We need to know for sure. If he’s guessing, then he’s probably wrong and we don’t need wrong. We need facts.”

  “Your guilt is making you angry,” Richard said. “And we don’t have time to coddle you. Let it go and listen to him.”

  “Yeah,” Lila chimed in. “He was there. He knows shit.”

  They were right. “Sorry.” I paused. “Caleb, I’m sorry.”

  “You tried,” he said. “Right?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay then.” He flashed me a grin, grotesque and eerie in his battered face. He looked at Richard. “We know—you know—that a mutant can bite a human and turn him or her into something…like them.”

  Richard flinched, then nodded. “Even worse.”

  What happened to you, Richard? What did you see? I wondered about his past, but again, it wasn’t something I could ask. Especially not then.

  “Here’s what I saw,” Caleb said. “Orphans dragged a half dead human before the leader of the cluster. This god was a big man named…” He shook his head. “Some strange name, I can’t remember, exactly.”

  “Kroog,” I said. “His name is Kroog.”

  “Yes! Maybe…” But he frowned, thinking. “It seemed like they called him something else, too.”

  “Master?” Lila asked.

  “Sure. But something else. Maybe a last name or—”

  “It doesn’t fucking matter.” Richard rubbed his face. “What did they do to the
human, Caleb?”

  Caleb glanced at Richard. “Yeah, sorry.” And he grinned.

  At that moment, I understood something about Caleb. He was insane. His time in the cluster had made it harder for him to hide.

  The madness darted through his eyes like long, fast worms, rushing to drill through his brain. His insanity was hard for me to grasp. He appeared so normal. But I felt it.

  I felt it.

  And that wasn’t right.

  I inched my hand toward my neck and caressed the bandage, my thoughts on the bite. What the hell had it done to me?

  Was Caleb right? Was Richard right?

  Was I becoming worse than a mutant?

  “Teagan?”

  I focused on Richard, immediately dropping my hand.

  Lila pushed her chair back and strode to the cabinet above the microwave. “Catch,” she told me, and tossed me a bottle of aspirin. “Take a few of those. They’ll help with the pain.”

  Her face was carefully blank.

  I opened the bottle and shook the tablets out into my hand, then dry swallowed them. “Thanks.”

  “Anyway,” Caleb said, impatiently, “the god didn’t bite the human. He took a blade and cut the man’s wrist. Then he licked the blood from the wound, and closed his eyes, thinking about it. The mutants were jumping up and down like they couldn’t wait to hear what he’d say.”

  “What’d he say?” Lila asked.

  “He said the human was food. As soon as he said that, he pulled the injured man to him and began to…”

  “What?” I asked, breath held.

  “He sank his teeth into the man’s throat and he drank his blood.” Caleb’s voice was suddenly sober, and a thrill of fear ran through it. “They can’t change everyone by biting them. They taste them first to find out.”

  “Vampires,” I whispered. “They’re not like vampires. They are vampires.” I pushed my hand into my stomach as it began to burn.

  “Not mutants?” Lila looked at Richard, confused. “They’re not mutants? They’re not aliens from a different planet?” Her voice rose with each word. “You said—”

  Richard slammed his chair back so hard it turned over and crashed to the floor. “What’s the fucking difference,” he yelled. “Vampires or aliens. Do you want to know what the real mutant is? Do you?”

  His eyes were wide and wild, and I shrank back against my chair.

  “Richard—” Lila started, but he interrupted her.