by Nikki Ashton
He nodded and took a step back. “Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, don’t be too late, you still have school tomorrow.”
The pussy in me slinked off and left shitty Adam behind. “Yeah I do know, and for your information I’m not even going to the party.”
“How come?” he asked, ignoring my attitude.
I shrugged. “Just not.”
Roger evidently sensed our short truce was over and took a step away. “Okay, well see you at home.”
I didn’t respond, but watched him leave, wondering as I always did, why my mum hadn’t come with him. She couldn’t blame it on Lori because Mrs Jackson next door would sit with her. I could only assume that she just didn’t give a shit about anything I did – story of my fucking life.
“Hey,” Kirk yelled down my ear. “You ready to paartay?”
“Yeah I’ll catch you up,” I lied. “My mum needs to me to call home first.”
Kirk raised his eyebrow. He knew I rarely did anything my mum asked, but there was no way I was going to tell him I was missing out on booze and girls just because there had been a face missing from the crowd tonight, and it hadn’t been that of my mother.
Before the game started, during half time, even at points during the game, I’d searched the crowd and looked at every face, but none of them had been Sarah’s. A mixture of anger and disappointment had surged through me; the anger being levelled at myself for caring. Why the fuck would she be there after the stunt I pulled with Mackenna? If I hadn’t been such an angry, stupid dick, I was pretty sure I could have got her to believe me. Now, she wouldn’t even look at me, never mind attend one of my matches.
Practically the whole of the fucking school had been there, but not her. Sarah had stayed away, and regret lay sour in my gut, giving me no inclination to party. For one thing, Mackenna would be there and I had pretty much cut her out since that day when I’d engineered for Sarah to find us. I hadn’t even thought about doing anything to shame her into staying away from me. I told her it was over and that was it. Makenna White however was not one to give up easily and had bombarded me with messages and voicemails – she knew not to approach me in school, she was too fucking scared of what I might do or say if she did. She didn’t need to know I didn’t give a shit, but who knew, tomorrow was another fucking day so I could well change my mind. All I knew at the moment, was that my head was full of Sarah Danes and how fucking beautiful she’d looked when she came all over my fingers.
I wasn’t sure what God was looking down on me, but on Saturday morning when my mum asked me to pick Lori up from dance class because she and Roger were going sofa shopping, I nearly bust a fucking bollock with happiness. Lori hadn’t shut up about the fact they were getting to do some street dance a week earlier than expected and that Sarah would be running the class. It’d be the ideal opportunity for me to talk to her and persuade her that the thing about her dad was nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t throw the lads under the bus, but I’d make sure she believed me. Why I was so fixed on it I didn’t know, it wasn’t like me to care about anyone’s opinion of me, but Sarah had messed with my head to the point I couldn’t even think about what cereal I wanted for my breakfast.
Mum had given me clear instruction not to let Lori out of my sight after the incident at the shopping centre, but Roger had told her to let it go and had dropped me twenty quid to take Lori to TJ’s afterwards. It hadn’t escaped my notice though that Roger had been the one to take Lori back to the shops for another of those fucking ugly swans for Mum’s birthday a few days ago. So, for all he tried to get under my skin, get me to like him, I wasn’t stupid, and I wouldn’t be fooled by another of my mum’s men. I still had a lump on the back of my head from Eric to remind me. I was grateful though because if I was taking Lori to TJ’s maybe I could persuade her to get Sarah to come along too. I didn’t know how I’d do that, but I’d manage it somehow.
Most of the mum’s and dad’s, or whoever had come to pick the kids up, were waiting in the reception of the building on chairs that lined around the edge, but apart from the fact there were no seats left and it smelled of stale coffee and fucking misery, I wanted to watch Sarah do her thing. I walked down the short corridor to where there was a double door into the studio and a one-way viewing window with another line of chairs against the wall opposite to it. There was one man in there, he was playing on his phone, while the two women also in there chatted about some shit to do with the dustbin collection times.
I grabbed one of the chairs, flopped down into it, and rested my arms on the window ledge, hunkering down so my chin was on top of my hands. Immediately my eyes found Lori right at the front, putting everything into the moves she was doing. I wasn’t sure she was doing it completely right. She was going up and down, bent at the knees in a jerky motion and her arms, bent at the elbow, did the same. It was only when I looked at the kid next to Lori, a kid who seemed to have a better talent for it, I realised it was the robot they were doing. I broke out a huge grin as I watched the look of concentration on my little sister’s face. She fucking loved it even if she wasn’t that good; according to Mum, she wasn’t going to be a ballet dancer either, too heavy footed apparently.
I couldn’t hear what was said in the studio, but the kids all started to clap, and Sarah appeared in my view, as she walked towards the front of the class. Then she was in front of me, facing the kids and I had the best view of her perfectly rounded arse in tight, black leggings. I groaned quietly, remembering I wasn’t alone, and leaned closer to the glass, desperate for a better look. Fuck, it was perfect. She still wore a baggy t-shirt, but it was short and gave me a glimpse of her pale skin and I knew I had to have her again. When she bent over at the waist and I could see the faint outline of a thong, there was no doubt I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure I had her again.
My jeans felt a little tight as I watched her walk forward a couple of paces with her arse swaying sexily and then clap all the kids. With her arms raised more skin was on show and I thought I was going to bust my zip.
“They finished?” the guy on his phone asked.
“Yes,” one of the women replied and came to stand next to my chair. “Jasmine has been so excited about this class. She’s not stopped talking about the new teacher and how pretty she is.”
“I can see the attraction,” the guy murmured under his breath, but I heard it and swung around in my seat to face him.
He took a step back at my sudden movement and when I pinned him with a narrow-eyed stare, he at least had the good sense to look sorry.
“Your kid in there?” I asked him pointedly.
He didn’t look much older than twenty-four or five, but he was wearing a wedding ring, so should have known better.
“Yeah, the smallest one with the black hair in pigtails.” He offered me a small smile, but I’d already got him marked as a creep.
“Yeah my sister too and the new dance teacher is my girlfriend.”
The words were out of my mouth before I even considered how fucking stupid they were. Sarah Danes and I weren’t even friends, let alone anything more. Maybe having had my fingers inside her I subconsciously thought I had some claim on her, but that was far from the truth. I wasn’t even close to her forgiving me enough to talk to me, let alone anything else.
The guy looked down at the floor like a loser as a loud blast of chatter and laughter sounded, and I realised the kids were coming out of the studio. I glanced through the window to see Lori was trying to pull the zip up on her pink jacket but as usual was struggling. With a quick decision that the knob who’d come to pick up his kid wasn’t worth the effort, I made my way to the door so I could go into the studio and help my little sister. As I did something in there caught my eye and it sent my heart clattering hard against my rib cage.
Sarah was on her knees in front of Lori and helping her with her coat. Lori chatted away and Sarah nodded or shook her head in response to whatever shit my little sister had blabbing out of her mouth. Once the coa
t was zipped up, Lori reached forward and wrapped her arms around Sarah’s neck and hugged her tight. Sarah hesitated to hug her back at first, but when Lori didn’t appear to want to let go, her arms came up and wrapped around Lori’s pink clad body and squeezed tight.
Determination to make Sarah believe me flared to life, and I knew my sister was definitely my secret weapon.
As I stepped into the corridor, Lori came bounding through the door with a huge smile on her face.
“Adam,” she cried. “You’re here
“Hey, Munchkin.”
“Where’s Daddy?”
She looked behind me as if Roger might also be there, but she should have known better than that. It also didn’t escape my notice that it wasn’t Mum she was expecting; the woman really had given up parenting us both.
“They’ve gone shopping for a new sofa, so I’m taking you to TJ’s.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Really? Do I get to have a milkshake and a cheeseburger and chips?”
I ruffled her hair. “You get to have whatever you want.” I peered through the glass in the door into the studio. “What about Sarah? Do you think she’d like to come as a thank you for helping you at the shopping centre that day?”
Thank God my sister was only eight and didn’t understand bullshit, because that had not sounded casual at all.
“Shall I ask her, or will you?” Lori jumped up and down on the spot her cheeks bulging with her smile.
“Maybe you ask, say you want her to come to say thank you. Maybe not mention it was my idea.”
She didn’t even question it. “Okay, wait one minute.” She held a finger in the air and disappeared.
I thrust my hands into my jacket pockets as I waited for what seemed like hours. I didn’t even look through the glass in the door in case Sarah saw me and immediately said no. I had my secret weapon though and if anyone could persuade her, Lori could.
After bloody ages, Sarah pushed through the door with my sister pouting behind her. This did not look like I was taking two girls for burgers.
“Hey, Lori,” Sarah said as Lori came up beside her. “Can you take this to Clarice for me? She’s in the office.” She pointed with a key to a door a couple of feet away.
Lori rolled her eyes. “You can talk in front of me,” she sighed. “I’m eight, not stupid.”
I wanted to laugh but managed to stop myself. “We know, Munchkin, Sarah needs to talk to me about boring school stuff, so go take the key to Clarice.”
“Okay.” She sighed again. “Oh, and she said no to burgers by the way, so next time you want to take my dance teacher on a date, ask her yourself.”
She took the key from Sarah and threw me a glare that said I was buying her ice cream as well and then ran off to the office.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” Sarah hissed when the door closed behind Lori. “But haven’t you hurt me enough?”
“I told you that wasn’t me. I’ve put the word around school that it was bullshit and no one is to mention it again.”
“Well you needn’t bother, Miss Daniels is going to make sure everyone knows the truth.”
“And they’ll still be warned not to mention it.”
When a little breath escaped her lips, my eyes were immediately drawn to them; they were full and pink. I remembered the taste of them and how swollen they’d got after I’d kissed her.
“Stop staring at me.” She narrowed her eyes on me. “Your little game isn’t going to work, Adam. I know you got one of your friends to post those flyers around and I also know you used Alannah’s phone to get me to the sports hall that afternoon. From what I hear it’s just typical of the sort of trick you would pull to crush some poor girl who was stupid enough to fall for your charm.”
Pure hatred addled her tone, and her arms were wrapped protectively around her body, like she was desperately trying to stop me from getting in. She forgot though, I had seen her without her barriers already. I’d felt her come apart without any fear, and she had loved it. This girl wanted me as much as I wanted her, whether she realised it or not.
“I admit the thing with Mackenna was a shit thing to do, but I was so fucking angry with you.”
Sarah looked surprised and reared back. “You were angry with me? You are joking, right?”
“You wouldn’t listen to me. I told you it wasn’t me, I hadn’t and still haven’t told anyone about what happened to your dad, I swear. I saw your face when you told me. Even I wouldn’t twist and use the pain that you feel against you. I’m not a good person, Sarah, but I’m not evil either.”
I spoke low and slow, hoping that it would enforce the truth to Sarah, because whether I liked it or not, thoughts of her were constantly invading my head space. If I didn’t get to taste or feel her again, I knew it would only get worse. I was scared that I’d become addicted without any hope of another fix.
Sarah looked at me speculatively and inhaled before letting it out slowly. “How did they find out then?”
I faltered, having no clue what to say because I could well drop Tyler, Ellis and Kirk from a great height if I said the wrong thing. It would only take Sarah one visit to Miss Daniels for the Head to investigate further and who knew, she could easily uncover the shit Kirk got up to with the school computer and CCTV. That would send the whole house of cards tumbling down, especially for Ellis, for a whole host of other reasons. I just hoped there wasn’t some sort of camera on the photocopier in Mrs Stubbs’ office or we really were done for, especially if she matched my face with the photocopied arse pics that had been posted all over her office.
“You may as well tell me, Adam,” she sighed. “I’m not going to tell any of the teachers or anyone else, I swear. I just want to know why.”
“Because I made you a target,” I answered honestly. “And I’m sorry.”
“But why. Why are you sorry?” she cried as she flattened her palms over her face. “This is how you treat girls. You manipulate them and then make them feel bad about it.”
She dropped her hands and looked up at me and for a second she looked like she might cry, but she didn’t. Her shoulders went back, and she straightened her spine to face me again.
“I was stupid to do what I did with you.” She leaned closer to me. “It was a stupid lapse in judgement, but it won’t be happening again. I won’t be another one of your victims, Adam,” she said slowly but surely. “You’ve had your shot at me, now leave me alone because I will not be joining your little group of cock suckers.”
She pulled a duffle bag onto her shoulder and pushed past me with her head held high. I watched her go and realised my addiction had just got worse, because fucking hell if Sarah Danes saying cock suckers wasn’t the sexiest thing ever.
20
Sarah
I parked Mum’s car in front of the Tesco Express, and reached across for my purse. It was almost nine at night, but she wasn’t feeling too good, she had a sore throat and could barely speak, so I’d offered to come and get some things that might make her feel better and the ingredients to make her some chicken soup. It was my nana’s recipe, another member of my family who I missed like hell. She was the only grandparent that I’d known and was my dad’s mum. Thankfully for her, she’d passed away almost two years before Dad, because having to experience her only son dying in that way would have broken her heart. Now Mum was all I had, so despite how I felt she’d let me down, I was determined to look after her.
As I wheeled my trolley into the fresh food aisle, I looked down at my list to double check what I needed and headed for the vegetables. Carrots were first on the list, so I reached for them, only for a large hand to land on top of mine. I startled and pulled my hand back. With a sick feeling in my stomach, I turned to look at whoever had thought it was okay to touch me.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned. “Are you following me.”
Adam held his hands up in a surrender gesture and then nodded towards his own trolley. “My mum sent me. Apparently, it�
��s not enough that I took care of Lori most of the day, I have to do this too, because she doesn’t have the energy to buy food after shopping for living room furniture.”
I ignored the bitterness in his tone and looked at his trolley. It had milk, bread and cheese in it and he also had a list threaded through the front, so I knew he was telling the truth.
“And you happened to wait until nine at night to do it?” I questioned.
“I put it off as long as I could, in the end she had to send Roger upstairs to force me to come. He did offer to do it instead, but well, you kind of know how I feel about him. I figured it’d kill an hour on a Saturday night.”
“No party to go to?” I asked, lacing my words heavily with sarcasm.
Adam shrugged. “Not that I know of. Why do you know of one we could go to?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “We could go together.”
“No,” I quickly responded. “I don’t like parties and I certainly wouldn’t want to go with you anyway. Now if you don’t mind, I have stuff to buy.”
Adam stood to one side and waved his arm. “Off you go then.”
I pushed my trolley past him and noticed that he took a step closer as I did. It meant that my arm brushed against his chest and I couldn’t help but smell his aftershave.
Who the hell wore aftershave to go food shopping anyway?
After escaping Adam, I moved quickly around the aisles throwing the things I needed into the trolley, hoping that I didn’t bump into him again. I didn’t want to see him or be around him, he unsettled me. He made my head buzz with possibilities; if only he was a better person. I was already beginning to believe he was being honest about having nothing to do with the shit that had been written about my dad and that thought made me feel stupid and naïve. I knew what sort of a person he was, and it was exactly what I’d been led to believe he would do; the problem was he sounded pretty genuine when I’d seen him at the dance studio earlier.
I decided not to waste anymore thoughts on him and went to the magazine racks thinking that Mum might like a couple to read while she was laid up in bed. When I rounded the corner I groaned, Adam was already there leafing through what looked like a football magazine. I tried to manoeuvre my trolley back the way I’d come, but I was too late and Adam looked up and saw me.
