Wilderwood

by Halli Starling

  The bird gently plucked the pewter disc from his palm and took off in a flap of wings and cawing. As quickly as they’d arrived the ravens were gone. Roderick turned back to them with a bemused smile on his face. “I wasn’t entirely sure that would work. I had an affinity for birds since I was a child and when I found an injured raven during a forest walk when I was about fifteen, it followed me around. Let me help it. And then one day she was gone and I figured she’d found her strength once more.” He pulled the window shut against the cold wind. “About two weeks later she turned back up and brought two friends with her. Since then her offspring have always been nearby.”

  “Raven charmer. That’s what they used to call him,” Bel said as Roderick flushed and fumbled with his belt of charms and runes.

  He rubbed the back of his neck with a grin. “Yes, well. That’s not important. With any luck the Rangers will have the message by late tonight. I’ve asked for help and resources but I’m not confident they’ll come in time.” Roderick’s face dropped again, a notch of worry between his brows. “If they come at all.”

  “I should go through the vault again,” Octavia murmured, almost to herself. “I don’t understand half of what’s down there but maybe something can assist.”

  “A task for tomorrow.”

  “Bel -“

  A smile flirted with Bel’s features. “And if you suggest that we should then try to decipher the rest of the prophecy I’m going to say the same thing. The wards don’t renew for two more days. We have a clock to run up against, since the lowering of the wards is the presumed attack date. But none of us can operate without rest.” They tapped the lead box. “You should let Ruby look at this. She’s good at cyphers and puzzles.”

  Octavia knew they were right. About all of it. But the relief that gnawed at them knowing it was Bel - their Bel, and mostly whole and completely safe - circumvented any argument she had against letting Ruby try to untangle the prophecy.

  And she expected, Ruby was instantly ready to help. She’d just closed the door on a bedroom housing the Wilford twins, young women who came to Wilderwood to paint and study history. Not pursuits for well-bred young ladies if they were to marry “properly”. Adenna and Tilanna scoffed at such things, preferring their books and art supplies to any romantic company. Octavia had liked them instantly.

  “Point me to it,” Ruby said, an eager look on her face. “If I can help, I want to.”

  Octavia pulled the amber pin from her hair and gently poked it into Ruby’s updo. “Amber is for grounding,” she said softly, not noticing how Roderick looked at her in the moment. She most certainly didn’t notice Roderick’s hands going to his jacket pocket to curl around Yasmin’s amber talisman. “This has been with me since I was in training under Count Ludanis Tyamora. He gave this to me as a reminder.”

  Ruby’s eyes widened. “Of?”

  “Of my place in this world.” She brushed a stray tendril from Ruby’s face. “Please be careful.”

  “I’m staying with her,” Harken said from near her shoulder. “So’s Tomas.”

  Ruby’s smile was soft as she said, “Go to bed, Octavia. If something bad happens you’ll know because the house will know.”

  “One hour. No more.” Her voice was stern but Octavia’s gaze was fond.

  Ruby nodded and let Harken fuss over her as she sat at Octavia’s desk, shaking her hands out before opening the lead box. Relief went through her when the prophecy sat like a harmless piece of paper on the desk. Tomas stood by, yellow eyes alert, human ears twitching.

  “There’s nothing more you can do now.” Bel’s voice was in her ear. “I’ll stay with her. Maybe in the next room so she doesn’t get nervous.”

  “Bel, you need to sleep.” Octavia made to twist in their grip, could easily break it. But Bel’s touch was firm, guiding.

  “I’ll sleep soon. Go to bed.”

  Her shoulders slumped. Bel was right but fear gnawed at her. The safest place in Wilderwood was the manor and yet she felt exposed, like a raw nerve. “All right,” she finally said, making her way to the stairs. “Please be careful.”

  Bel nodded and as Octavia disappeared up the stairs, they motioned for Roderick. “Come. I want to talk to you.”

  ***

  Roderick would never admit it but Bellemy Eislen was intimidating as hell. If not for their reputation, for their presence alone. Powerful. Tall. Commanding. Even the pieces of vulnerability they’d displayed tonight were controlled. There were no outbursts, no visible anger. But their voice shook, their hands balled tightly against their thighs.

  They felt everything and yet showed so little.

  So when Bel came to stand before him in the hall and just outside the study, he was surprised but very curious. They were looking slightly down, their breath like a kiss on his face. “She shouldn’t be alone.” Bel reached out, touched the ends of his hair. “Octavia cares so much and takes nothing in return.” Bel swallowed hard, their throat clicking with the effort of it. “She deserves to be touched, to be kissed.”

  Was he hearing this right? He gave them a confused look. “The two of you were together. Why would you not go to her yourself?”

  Bel shook their head and dropped their eyes, their hand. “I can’t explain it. I’m only saying I don’t believe she’d turn you away.”

  His blood roared in his ears. He was very intrigued by Octavia. But also by Bel. He used to joke with Yasmin it was a bloody miracle they weren’t attracted to each other because high stakes situations often required an outlet for the stress. He and Yasmin would spar, they’d return to base to polish weapons or mend armor. But on occasion Yasmin would disappear, or he would, and when they stumbled back near dawn, it was understood.

  And now this was being suggested to him, handed on a silver platter. The temptation made his pulse thunder. “But the two of you -“

  “We were dedicated to each other,” Bel admitted with a slow nod. “But we were free to find other partners. We just chose not to.” Hazel eyes fixed on his mouth. “Unless we found someone we both would enjoy.”

  By all the gods. He’d blush if he had an ounce of humility in him. Roderick’s gaze turned keen. “And what about what she wants? Have you asked her?” Something flickered in Bel’s dark hazel eyes and suddenly he understood. “You’re afraid to. If she turns you away….”

  Bel nodded. “Will you go to her? Be there for her, in whatever way you both desire. I’ve seen the looks.” They gave him a small smile but it made heat coil in his belly. “She’s hard to resist.”

  “You should come with me.” It was a vulnerable, fragile thing this moment. The one where he reached out and offered his hand to Bel. Desire was a frightening thing to experience in many ways, but this was new. Unexpected. But not unwelcome. Perhaps it was madness. Battle lust, or the early signs of it. Or maybe he’d truly gone insane. But temptation rarely made any damn sense and somewhere in the back of his mind, Roderick truly believed walking away now would mean more than just shrugging off an offer of physical affection.

  Bel squeezed his hand then let go. “I’ll….consider it. She may just want to talk. She may want you to leave. I don’t know. But she deserves anything she wants and you are….” Their fingers brushed the ends of his hair again, daring to dip a little lower and touch his shirt, rubbing right over his collarbone. “You are a good man.” Bel lifted their chin to the stairs. “Go.”

  ***

  How was she supposed to sleep while the town sat like a buffet for monsters? What if the wards didn’t hold? What if Gregory’s scouts were hurt - or worse? Octavia huffed angrily, pacing.

  Frustration threatened to crash through her but she needed to hold off. People were relying on her to be level-headed, calm. A port in a storm. With a growl she reached up and yanked several pins from her braids, half her hair falling out in a lopsided nest.

  A knock at her door interrupted the pacing and fretting. She yanked on the remaining pins while opening the door to say, “I’m sorry, I’m
coming right down.”

  Roderick stood before her. He’d taken his armor off long before but there was something more relaxed about him now. His hair was mussed, like he’d been running his fingers through it to snag about the little tie that held half of it back.

  She wanted to reach up and pull it out, toss it aside. Such a stupid inclination. Greedy. Too much. Octavia pulled her hand back when she realized she’d been reaching out to do what her fingers desired.

  Her fingers. Not her. She wasn’t needed like that. Even Bel’s touches felt far-off, distant. Trying to reconnect in the middle of tragedy and fear was difficult. It felt like a weight around her neck but Bel had never pushed. Octavia felt guilty for feeling lonely and empty while horrific events swirled around them like some maelstrom.

  “Are you all right?”

  She sagged in the door frame, eyes wild as she looked around the empty hallway. “Yes?”

  Roderick’s lips twitched. “There was a level of hesitance in your Yes that makes me wonder.”

  She sighed, stepped aside to let him in. The creak of leather had him turning around to see Octavia twisting her hands in front of her. She hadn’t undressed or changed in any way and other than her haphazard hair, looked exactly as she always did. Pristine. Exacting. With a mile high wall up around her.

  None of that deterred Roderick, however. He looked at ease around her, walking into her room on her invite but immediately stopping before her shelves of books and crystals and candles, inspecting each in turn with a thoughtful expression. “May I?” he asked, motioning to a book on magical botany. When she nodded, he gently slid the book out from the shelf and began to thumb through it. “I can’t believe you have a copy of Divine’s Magical Herbs and Plants. This has been out of print for -”

  “About one hundred years,” she finished with a small smile. “I don’t think I need to tell a Ranger to be careful with a first edition, though.” Roderick immediately blanched and made to put the book back but she stopped him. “You’re fine. The expression on your face was enough.”

  Roderick grumbled something but she made out his words anyways. “Sure, tease the Ranger even more.”

  Octavia froze in place. “Tease you how?”

  The look on his face - shock, surprise, guilt - caught her off guard. He cleared his throat as he set the book back in its place on her shelves. “I don’t - I didn’t….”

  Something sparked in her belly; a fierce longing to reassure him. Maybe herself at the same time. They were dancing along some unknown knife edge. She’d seen his looks, the subtle way he tracked her movements. Octavia wasn’t immune to Roderick’s charms - or his looks - but everything felt so urgent that now, in this quiet breath of relief in the privacy of her room, she wondered what they were supposed to be playing at.

  And since her patience was nearly obliterated by the day’s frustrations and terrors, she didn’t much feel like playing a game to which the rules were unknown. With careful ease, she slid her gloves off and set them aside on a nearby table. She then pulled the last of the pins from her hair and placed them beside her gloves. Roderick watched her, gaze going dark as her hair tumbled down her back. She didn’t even give the mirror a glance as her jacket was set aside. Only a few people had ever seen more than a passing glimpse of the marks on her skin and while he looked, he didn’t linger. She had the strangest sense that he was looking at her, not just at those marks.

  And then he managed to surprise her once again by holding out a hand and asking in a soft voice, “May I?”

  Octavia didn’t let many people touch her. Some of that was ingrained in her from centuries-old teachings, things her mentor had repeated on rote about sin marks and superstitions and how few mortals would ever see them as anything but pretty monsters. The relaxed set of his mouth, the softness around his eyes spoke to her though. She put her hand in his and let him reel her closer.

  “Gorgeous,” he breathed, his touch delicate as he traced a mark down her thumb. And then, endearingly, he flushed. “Apologies. I’ve never seen them up close and on your skin they’re remarkable.”

  Octavia huffed but was secretly pleased at his praise. The only other person who ever said anything remotely like that was Bel. “They’re as much a part of me as anything else,” she replied, trying to keep her tone level despite the adrenaline zipping down her spine at his touch. His hands were rough, fingertips callused.

  She wanted to feel them on her skin, in more delicate places.

  He was close enough for her to see the flecks of green in his eyes. When that gaze settled on her mouth, something twisted inside her. Tearing her in half. “Bel sent you, didn’t they?” she asked quietly, reaching up to touch the corner of his jaw. When he nodded she had to chuckle; the sound dry, almost raspy. If her heart could beat, it would be hammering right now. “Did they tell you about us? How we were together?”

  Roderick’s throat was working overtime, clicking with every swallow. Octavia could hear his blood thrumming, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest. “I think they believe they’re not worthy. And I think you believe something similar. But I’ve never seen two beings so meant for each other. I came because I thought you might want to talk or simply not be alone.”

  She nodded. “You’re right. About Bel and I. We were so good together and then it got fractured. Practically speaking, two years is not a long time to me but for them it was. And honestly, my heart felt like it was ages. I mourned them as if they’d died.”

  Was she really doing this? Bel had sent him and he’d come willingly. They knew who - what - she was, but only Bel knew how deep her desires could run, a river of need at her center that could never be quelled or logjammed.

  Roderick blinked at her owlishly, understanding stealing over his handsome face. The scar near his jaw stretched slightly as he said, “You’re lonely. Alone.” She let the side of her thumb graze the outside corner of his lips and he shivered. “Remember what I asked before? About your dedication?”

  “Yes.” Oh, how that word left her in a rush. The thing blooming between them began to unfurl. “Do you ever give in to what you want?”

  “Once or twice. When Bel came into my life.”

  He nodded like he expected that answer. “Do you still want them? Do you want me?”

  Octavia let her fingers drift down - over his jaw, tracking the motion of his throat, to linger in the valley of his collarbone. Roderick’s eyes had gone dark, lips parted as he watched her intently. “Yes.”

  In one smooth move he slid around her, strode over to the door. Flung it open and yelled, “Bel, get your ass up here.”

  And then Roderick was back in front of Octavia, one hand on the back of her neck and the other tight on her hip as he crushed his mouth to hers.

  Fourteen

  A pulse of magic - faint but steady - rocketed through Bel just before they heard Roderick yell for them. They knew that magic, for it lived under Octavia’s skin and only awoke when she was being touched with passion. Relief nearly made them sag but Roderick’s call was insistent. They could hear the tightness in his voice.

  Passion and Octavia.

  Bel desperately wanted to go. But they hesitated in the open door of the study. “Anything?”

  Ruby looked up and blinked at them through the half-moon spectacles perched on the end of her nose. “A few thoughts but nothing solid yet. I think we’re okay.” Her eyes drifted to the stairs. “Is everything all right?”

  Bel nodded stiffly. “Yes. Octavia’s just….” They sucked in a breath, straightened their coat. “Please don’t hesitate to alert us if something is wrong.”

  Harken coughed into his fist, covering a laugh, and Ruby’s eyes danced with mirth. “I’ve got two protectors here on top of all the wards on the house. I think we’re okay.” She jerked her chin at Bel. “Go. Take care of her. She’s so hard on herself, she deserves a little kindness.”

  Bel dipped their head and made for the stairs, taking them two at a time just as Tomas asked, “Bel g
onna make Octavia tea or something?”

  There was delighted laughter from the others and then Bel lost the thread of what was surely an interesting conversation. Their feet carried them down the carpeted hall to Octavia’s room and Bel thought hard on what to say. How to approach this. They’d been back in this world for mere days and already things were falling apart, but Octavia was the one constant. The one thing they’d hoped would be there when they returned and when she’d not rejected them or drove them from town, hope had fluttered, newborn and sightless, in their chest.

  This was something else.

  Bel looked up and saw the door to Octavia’s room was cracked. A thump, then a groan, then Roderick murmuring Octavia’s name propelled them forward. Heart beating hard in their chest, Bel pushed the door open.