Secret Remorse

by T N Lowe

  “Nothing, they know me and my family, some know who you are.”

  “They are scared of me.”

  “Not of you, but of what your family can do.”

  “Got ya. Now what,” I ask melting into Maks’ side.

  “Now what?”

  “Do you want to look around?”

  “Yes, let me show you around and introduce you to my friends,” Maks says helping me to my feet.

  Navigating through the booths Maks stops at a booth selling beer and other drinks. A group of men calls to Maks, after ordering a couple of beers we join the men at the table. They begin speaking in rapid-fire Russian, and I can’t be sure, but it sounds like they’re giving him a hard time. “Alright enough,” Maks says holding up his hands. “Shauna these are my former friends, Alexander, Eduard, David, and Leonid. Guys this is Shauna Daly, my girlfriend.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I reply not sure what to say.

  “Daly? Are you related to Manus Daly, the football player?” Eduard asks.

  “Yes, he’s my younger brother.”

  “Can you get us tickets?” Eduard asks again.

  “Maybe, he was transferred to a new team. I’m not sure what their rules are for getting tickets for family and friends.”

  “She’s a keeper,” Eduard tells Maks making everyone at the table laugh.

  “And hot,” Alexander comments.

  Maks scoots me closer to him wrapping his arm around my shoulder and shooting back, “She’s taken. Go find your own girl.”

  “Do you work, Shauna?” Leonid asks.

  “I’m the lead app developer for Kinsman Communication.”

  “Wow, beauty and brains. What’s she doing with you Maks?” David jokes.

  Maks growls a word I’m one hundred percent sure is a curse word. David laughs then turns back to me, “In all seriousness can I pick your brain while you’re here; if it’s okay with Maks and Gennadi.”

  “About what?” I ask confused.

  “David monitors our dark web dealings,” Maks explains.

  “Oh, I’m not sure how much help I can be. We haven’t dealt with the dark web in years.”

  “How?” David asks.

  I can’t help but laugh, “Owning a communication company you learn how to integrate other methods into your programs.”

  “You have to show me,” David begs.

  “I would have to get permission from Patrick then you would have to come to D.C. What you’re asking for I would need a hardline to show you.”

  “Maks you better marry this woman if you don’t, I will,” David tells him.

  “Enough, we are leaving you,” Maks says standing and offering me his hand. Taking it we walk through the maze of people; as we walk people stop Maks speaking to him in Russian while I stand at his side and look pretty. When I get home, I’m ordering Rosetta Stone to learn Russian, no more sitting on the sidelines for me. If Maks wants me to stand at his side, I’ll be an asset not a liability. In this world, in the Mafia, information, and knowledge keeps you alive.

  As we finish, our walk through the booths we run into Lada and her friends. Lada introduces her two friends who are also studying computer science at Penn. Lada tells her friend I’m Maks’ new girlfriend and I work for Kinsman as the lead app developer. Her friends go crazy asking me rapid-fire questions about my job, the company, and Kegan. One of the girls tells me how hot Kegan is and I can’t help but laugh. Wait till I tell him, his head won’t fit in the building anymore.

  Maks pulls me to him, running his hands up and down my jean-clad thighs and whispers, “We’ve seen everything and you met everyone. Can I take you home now?”

  In response, I tell Lada and her friends goodbye.

  ***

  Monday morning after breakfast Maks declares family obligations are done, and it’s time for us to have some alone time. With a kiss, he says, “Pack your things we are moving to my condo in the city.”

  After putting my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher I toss my stuff into my suitcase and join Maks in the entryway. Saying a quick bye to his parents and sister Maks helps me into the Range Rover, “I want to show you my museum before we go to the condo.”

  “I would love to see your museum.”

  The Philadelphia Natural history museum is an old-world building standing higher and larger than the neighboring museums. Maks is like a little kid in a toy store dragging me into the employee entrance at the back of the museum and into a waiting elevator. The elevator stops on the fifth floor. Taking my hand he leads me down the hall stopping at the last door on the left. Opening it, he says, “This is my office.”

  His office is nothing like what I thought a museum curator’s office would look like. It has large windows overlooking the city his desk sitting in front of the windows facing into the office. Dark mahogany bookshelves overflowing with books and magazines with artifacts scattered around the room covering the walls.

  “Wow,” I say standing in the middle of the room tuning to take it all in. “This is not what I thought a curator’s office looks like.”

  Maks laughs, “You pictured a basement office with bad lighting, old papers everywhere and smells musty?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I expected,” I intone as Maks wraps his arms around my waist. “But then again, you don’t look like a curator either.”

  Pressing kisses on my neck, he says, “Old with white hair, a beer belly, and thick glass.”

  “Yes,” I moan.

  Maks chuckles against my neck, “If you like I have old glasses at home we can play later.” I moan again as Maks sucks gently on my neck.

  “Maks?” A man’s voice says entering the office. “Oh, sorry I didn’t realize you were busy,” The man drawls then turns to leave.

  Maks releases me and steps in front of me to see who joined us, “Dallas, what can I do for you?” Peaking around Maks’ muscular bicep I see a tall man in jeans, and a black t-shirt, his black hair tied into a ponytail.

  Dallas turns to face the room again, “Sorry man you’re supposed to be vacation this week.”

  “I am. I wanted to show my girlfriend where I work,” Maks tells Dallas. Then Maks brings me to his side, “Dallas this is my girlfriend, Shauna. Shauna this is my co-worker and friend, Dallas.”

  I extend my hand to shake his, “It’s nice to meet you Dallas.”

  “You too,” Dallas says looking me up and down. “You’re much prettier than Maks said.”

  “Thank you,” I say melting into Maks.

  “Is there something I can do for you,” Maks growls.

  Dallas smirks at him, “No I saw your door opened and wanted to check. Sorry, I’ll let you get back to your girl,” then he leaves us.

  “Now back to what we were doing before Dallas stopped us,” Maks says his accent thicker.

  “Oh, no you don’t,” I say pushing him away and laughing. “Why don’t you show me the rest of your museum, we’ll save the sexy stuff for your place.”

  “If we must,” Maks says kissing me one last time on the lips before taking my hand and leading me into the hallway. “Where do you want to begin?”

  “With your favorite exhibit,” I answer.

  “First let me show you what I got from D.C., then I will show you all my favorite parts of the museum.”

  Taking me back to the elevator at the end of the hall Maks presses the B1 button. As we ride the elevator down, I have to ask something, “Do your parents not approve of you dating me?”

  “It was my father’s idea to marry someone in The Family. Why do you ask?”

  “I don’t know, your mother didn’t seem happy to see me.”

  “No, she doesn’t agree with my father’s decision to join your family.”

  “Oh,” is all I say not knowing if there is a camera in the elevator.

  The elevator doors open, to a dimly light basement reminding me of every horror movie I’ve ever seen. Leaving the safety of the elevator car, I glue myself to Maks' side, scared a ps
ycho killer will kill us as we pass. A door behind us squeaks open, and I scream bloody murder curling into Maks' back praying he’ll protect me.

  Maks wraps his arms around me pulling me close, “Shh, pchelka you’re safe. It’s someone leaving one of the labs. You’re okay, I got you.”

  People rush into the hallway. “What’s wrong?” A man bellows down the hall.

  “Is everything okay?” A woman says.

  “Everything is okay, thank you,” Maks replies still holding me, and I hear doors close around us.

  My cheeks heat with embarrassment, “I’m sorry,” I say into Maks' chest too scared to show my face.

  “You are okay. It can be unnerving down here,” Maks says taking a step back and lifting my chin to make me look at him. Using his thumbs to wipe away my tears Maks kisses my forehead and asks, “Are you okay?”

  I nod, “I am. I’m angry with myself for causing a scene.”

  “Okay, why don’t you step into the ladies’ room, get cleaned up then I’ll give you a tour of the museum.”

  “Okay, Thank you.”

  Walking a little further down the hall Maks points to a door on the right, “There’s the ladies’ room. I’ll be right here.”

  I wet a paper towel cleaning the smeared makeup from cheeks. Tossing the paper towel in the trash bin, I pull power and mascara from my purse fixing my makeup. Taking a deep breath, I rejoin Maks in the hall. “All better?”

  “Yes, thank you,” I say taking his hand and walking with him to the elevator.

  Being a world traveler I’ve been to some of the best museums in the world with the best tour guides, Maks puts them all to shame. With my hand in his, Maks guides me through every exhibit. Telling me the backstory of the artifacts he brought to the museum. Maks' eyes brighten and dance talking about his work and the people he’s met. He has a real passion for this job and sharing history with everyone. I love my job and the people I work with, but I don’t have his passion for the work I do, and I’m jealous. After three hours of exploring Maks leads me back to the Range Rover.

  Maks’ condo is the perfect mix of modern and traditional with an open floor plan and large windows. The ceilings are outlined with crown molding and floors are hardwood set in a herringbone pattern. “This place is beautiful,” I say walking further into the living room looking down at the park below. “Your condo overlooks a park?” I ask.

  “It overlooks Rittenhouse Square,” Maks says as he wraps his arms around my waist. “I’ll take you there tomorrow,” kissing the spot behind my ear he works his way down my neck while his hands work their way up my shirt and my stomach growls. Maks laughs against my neck, “Guess I should feed you before we do anything.”

  Taking my hand Maks leads me into the kitchen. Opening a drawer he pulls a fist full of takeout menus, “Pick what you like,” Maks says laying the menus on the kitchen counter. Thumbing through my options, I stop at an Indian restaurant holding up the menu I ask, “Will this one work?”

  “Good choice,” Maks says taking the menu from me. Pulling his phone from this pocket and pressing some buttons then says, “Okay dinner is on its way. Why don’t I show you around while we wait?” Taking my hand and pulling me up a set of stairs. “We have four bedrooms each with their own bathroom.” Pointing down the hall, he says, “There is a large study, library, and bathroom.” Opening a door, “This one is our room.” Stepping inside I see a large king bed with a black leather tufted headboard. Black bedside tables flank the bed; a chest of draws sits at the end of the bed with a sixty inch TV sitting on top.

  I wander around the room taking everything in, “Have you ever lived with women before?”

  “No,” Maks says without hesitation.

  “Why do you want to live with me? You have your pick of women.”

  “I do, but you like me for me. You don’t like me because of what my father or his money can do for you. You like me in all my asshole glory,” Maks explains hugging me tight to his chest.

  “You’re right. You are an asshole.”

  Maks' chest rumbles with laughter, “Come pchelka dinner will be here soon.”

  ***

  Maks and I are lying in bed; I’m draped over his naked chest with the comforter covering us. Maks gently runs his fingers through my hair, “I heard Lena wasn’t raised in The Family, like you.”

  I look up at him curious why he’s asking me about Lena. “Yes, her mother left Samuel before she was born and raised her in Bar Harbor, Maine.”

  “Then how did she learn she was Samuel’s daughter?”

  “Patrick took her to Samuel’s for brunch and told her he was her father.”

  “I guess that is one way to be told. Did he tell her she was a member of The Family at the same time? That would be a lot to take in all at once.”

  “It would be, but no. Willow Thomas was Lena’s best friend and the sister of the D.C. Carver, told her. Willow blamed Lena and her mother, Maggie for spitting up her family. Nail, Samuel’s father sent Willow and her mother to befriend Lena and Maggie, to ensure Maggie told no one about The Family. Willow and one of Lena’s family friends kidnapped her, she was beaten and told the truth to her father.”

  “Wow,” Maks says kissing the top of my head.

  “That’s not the worst part. After they arrested Willow Lena went home to Bar Harbor. The man who was like an uncle to Lena comes to check on her. Lena confronts him about his son and admits to being in love with Maggie. He continues to tell her what a horrible person her father is then stabbed her. Luckily Patrick found her quickly and got her to the hospital quickly.”

  “When did your parents tell you they were part of The Family?”

  “The Family has a rule, no one is told till their sixteenth birthday; once they know The Family has a welcome party.”

  Maks chuckles, “Your parents sit you down on your sweet sixteen tell you-you’re in the mafia then take you to a party?”

  “Pretty much, Mom and Dad told Manus and me at the same time. Then later we went to a ball at Samuel’s,” I say through a yawn.

  “Wow. I was told when I was like eight, we were mafia and I was expected to follow in my father’s footsteps,” Maks says kissing the top of my head, “Sleep now zhizn moya. We will talk more tomorrow.”

  ***

  We spend the rest of our time walking through Rittenhouse Square and Love Park, site seeing at Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell and shopping at Reading Terminal Market. Maks shows me everything he loves in his city. I’ve fallen in love with Philadelphia, though I’m not sure if it’s the city or the man who calls this city home.

  Sunday morning comes much too fast, and we are at the airport sooner than I want. Rounding the hood of the Range Rover Maks opens my door. Free of the car I press myself into his chest hugging him tightly. Rubbing his large hand up and down my back he tells me, “Don’t worry pchelka we’ll work it out.”

  Looking into his stormy gray eyes full of adoration I ask, “How do you know? Most long-distance relationships don’t work.”

  “I know this will work because I’ve never felt like this and nothing will make me give it up,” Maks says brushing my tears away. I nod in response unable to talk without breaking down again. Kissing the top of my head Maks walks me through the terminal to my check-in.

  “I’ll see you in two weeks, right?” I ask holding Maks hand tight.

  “Yes, I’m in Turkey next week, but I will meet you right here in two weeks for Rozalina’s wedding.”

  “You better,” I say kissing him.

  “Two weeks pchelka,” Maks says kissing me deeply before telling me goodbye.

  Chapter Nine

  Monday morning sucks; first I wake up cold and alone in my bed. Then I spill coffee down the front of my blouse and have to change which causes me to miss my train to work. I shoot Kegan a quick text letting him know I’ll be late. Rather than spending an hour in traffic, I walk to the office. I have an important meeting with Patrick this morning and can’t miss it.r />
  Huffing and puffing with sweat dripping down my face ruining my makeup I exit the elevator. Sarah stops me, “Shauna! Mr. Love is waiting for you in your office.”

  “Shit, how bad do I look?” I ask running my fingers through my hair and under my eyes. She shakes her head and makes a face telling me I look like roadkill. “Damn it,” I say taking a deep breath before opening my office door and stepping inside.

  “Patrick, I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” I say setting my messenger bag on my desk.

  “Kegan told me you were running late. How was your week with Maks?”

  “It was good. I’m not sure his parents like me but we had a good time.”

  Patrick nods, “Gennadi Volkov is a difficult man to read, but one thing I’m sure of is if he didn’t like you he wouldn’t be quiet about it.”

  “That makes me feel better,” I say pulling my laptop from my bag. “Did you have time to look at the game?”

  “I did. Lena loved the gnomes. Personally I feel it’s a little on the cutesy side, but no one will ever suspect it’s a communication program for the most powerful mafia family.”

  “Are there any changes you would like to make?”

  “No, it is perfect the way it is. Excellent job Shauna, thank you.”

  “Thank you, Patrick,” I say as his phone rings.

  Looking at the number he answers it quickly, “Lena what’s wrong?” I can’t hear what Lena says, but Patrick’s eyes grow wide, and worry overtakes his expression. “I’ll meet you there,” Patrick blurts before ending the call and standing.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Lena’s water broke; Billy is taking her to the hospital now.”

  “Go. She will need you.” Patrick sprints from the office to the stairwell passing Kegan on the way.

  Standing in the doorway, Kegan asks, “What’s wrong with Patrick?”

  “Lena’s water broke he’s on the way to the hospital.”

  “Aw,” Kegan answers before taking the seat Patrick vacated. “Did he have any comments or request any changes be made to the game?”

  “He said he it was too cute, but wanted no changes made.”

  “Good, you can issue the codes to the members who need them. How was your trip?”