Secret Remorse

by T N Lowe

  Jogging downstairs I stop in the kitchen, “Is this to Madame’s liking?” I say with a curtsy.

  Mom looks me up and down, nodding, “Much better. Now take those trays into the living room.”

  I pick up a vegetable and meat and cheese tray taking them into the living room and setting them on the coffee table. Sitting in Maks lap his hand settles on my hip rubbing the silk with his fingers sending shivers up my spine. “This is different.”

  “Mom made me change,” I huff.

  “What did you expect you looked like a rag-a-muffin,” CJ teases me.

  “I did not,” I say sounding like a little kid.

  “You kinda did,” Brenn says.

  “Maks’s parents are important people, you will have to get used to dressing up,” Carson joins in.

  “Enough, Manus and Chase are my favorite brothers now. I am an important person on my own, and I wear comfy t-shirt and sweaters all the time.”

  “Yes, but in our circle, everyone knows you and Kegan or Patrick take all the meetings. You won’t be able to hide any longer,” Dad says.

  “Et Tu Daddy?”

  “Sorry baby girl, but it is time to grow up and take your place.”

  I look down at Maks, “Are you going to say anything?”

  “I plead the fifth,” Maks replies.

  “Smart man,” Chase mutters to CJ.

  “I heard that Chase. You’re off the list. Manus is my favorite brother,” I say hugging him around the neck.

  Manus smiles and says, “I always have your back sis.”

  Sitting up and settling onto Maks thigh the doorbell rings. “Please be on your best behaviors today and not like you were raised by wild animals,” Dad says standing to welcome Maks’ family.

  Escorting everyone into the living room, I introduce everyone. “Everyone this is Maks’ family; Gennadi, Alla, and his sisters Nika, her husband Stas, Rozalina and her husband Ioann, and Maks youngest sister Lada.” Turning to face Gennadi and Alla I introduce my siblings. “This is my oldest brother CJ and his wife Gwen, my sister Caitlann and her husband Chase, and my brothers Brenn, Carson, and Manus.”

  Everyone exchanges hellos and takes a seat. An awkward silence fills the room for a moment before the sounds of the playroom fills the living room. The little boy in Nika’s lap squirms to see what’s going on. “He can play with the other kids,” Caitlann tells Nika.

  “Thank you. He has been stuck with boring adults all week,” Nika says standing and following Caitlann into the playroom.

  Everyone makes idle small talk, but Lada who is taken by Manus. She stares at him while he and Maks talk about last week’s game. Manus looks at her from the corner of his eye, not quite sure what to do with her which makes me laugh. Before I dissolve into giggles Mom comes in, “Dinner is ready.”

  Taking a seat next to me, Lada asks, “Is Kegan coming?”

  “No, he’s in New York visiting his wife’s family.”

  “Darn I was hoping to meet him.”

  “He’ll be at our engagement party,” I tell Lada.

  “Speaking of the party, we need to decide what we want; so, I can tell the party planner,” Mom says.

  I little scared I ask, “It’s not the same planner who did Lena’s baby shower is it?”

  “No, I hired one familiar with Wilmington,” Mom tells me.

  “Thank god,” I say breathing a sigh of relief.

  “Alla, are there any traditions we will need to follow?” Mom asks.

  “No, there is nothing on our side,” Alla says looking to Gennadi. He looks at Alla and nods his agreement with her.

  “Perfect,” Mom says. “We don’t either, so I’ll tell the planner to set it up as a traditional engagement party.”

  “Before we eat,” Dad says standing at the head of the table. “I would first like to thank Gennadi and Alla and their children for joining us today. I would also like to invite everyone to say what they are thankful for. I’ll go first, I’m thankful for my beautiful wife, wonderful children, and our ever-expanding family.” Dad takes his seat and gestures to Gennadi, who is sitting at the opposite end of the table, to go.

  Gennadi stands, “I would like to thank Connor and Riana for having us here today and creating this wonderful feast. I’m thankful for many things this year, but mostly I am thankful for my family and being welcomed into a new Family with open arms.”

  I tune out as everyone else says what they’re thankful for, Mom makes us do this every year and every year we all say the same things. From the expressions around the table, Maks parents make them do the same thing.

  Maks squeezes my knee bringing my attention back to him as he speaks, “I’m thankful for my forgiving and loving wife-to-be. I love you, Shauna.” Maks kisses me gently.

  Stas coughs “Suck up,” making everyone at the table laugh.

  “Okay,” Dad says with a chuckle, “let’s eat.”

  ***

  “Do you have to go?” I ask with a slight whine to my voice as I lay on my stomach watching Maks pack his bag.

  “I’m sorry, but I have to,” Maks says kissing me. “I have a few things to attend to before we formally announce our engagement.”

  “Can I come with you?” I ask crossing my fingers he says yes.

  “I am sorry but you cannot. It will be safer for you to stay here.”

  “Safer? Maks what’s going on?” I ask sitting up.

  “I promise everything will be fine. Some people are not happy I’m marrying an- umm- outsider.”

  “Maks, you would tell me if something was wrong, right?”

  “I would. I need to know you will be safe before I bring you into the Vory,” Maks explains sitting next to me on the bed and moving me to his lap. “I love you, Shauna. I won’t risk your safety.”

  I rest my head on his shoulder a lone tear trails down my cheek and lands on Maks gray sweatshirt. “Will you be back before the party?”

  Maks moves me, so I have no choice but to look at him. Using his thumbs to brush my tears away he answers, “I’ll meet you in Wilmington. You can use this time apart as your last chance at freedom. After our party I’m taking you everywhere with me, you will be sick of me,” Maks says trying to lighten the mood.

  “Doesn’t sound so bad to me,” I say resting my forehead to his.

  “It doesn’t,” Maks replies. Maks moves me off his lap then stands, “Will you walk me to the car?”

  I stand and nod, tears still rolling down my cheeks. Maks picks his bag off the dresser, and we walk downstairs. Mask stops before opening the door, turning to face me he sets his bag down engulfs me in a hug and kisses me until we are both breathless. “I love you, Shauna.”

  “I love you too Maks.”

  Picking his bag up he walks to the waiting town car.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Two Weeks Later

  The Wilmington Inn sits in downtown Wilmington and is the perfect example of early nineteenth-century architecture. The inside is more beautiful than the outside with hand-painted ceilings, crown molding, and tile floor with circle marble inlay. Lena was right, it is a beautiful hotel. I take a couple of pictures and text them to Maks with a wish you were here.

  Maks: At the airport now be there in two hours.

  Me: Safe travels. Love you.

  Maks: Love you too.

  After checking in Mom instructs me to go to my room and shower, she and Caitlann will be up to help me get ready. Being the dutiful daughter, I follow her instructions taking the elevator to the seventh floor, placing my bag on the bed I go straight into the shower. Twenty minutes later I am clean and pulling on the fluffy hotel robe. Opening the bathroom door I’m greeted by Mom, Caitlann, and Lena sitting on the couch.

  “Does it take three of you to help me get ready for a party?”

  Lena rolls her eyes as Mom and Caitlann answer, “Yes,” at the same time.

  “Fine, do with me as you will,” I say plopping into the vanity chair.

  Mom blows dry
my hair while Caitlann paints my toes and Lena steams my cherry red strapless gown. Mom turns off the hairdryer I turn to look at Lena in the mirror, “Where’s my godson at?”

  “Andrew and Patrick are spending some quality daddy and son time.”

  “Patrick is such a good dad,” I say.

  “He is a great dad. Patrick is there for everything good and bad,” Lena says.

  Mom giggles, “I’m not surprised. After Patrick first met you, he came home and told Brianna and me about his new wife. He told us how he would love you and your children with all his heart. He was eleven, so we didn’t think much of it. But seeing him with you and Andrew, I know he loves you as much as he did then.”

  Lena wipes the tears from her eyes before turning her focus back “Shauna are you nervous for tonight?”

  “A little,” I answer biting my lip.

  “Don’t,” Caitlann says pulling my lip from my teeth. “I put your lip stick on, and now you have lipstick on your teeth.” Taking a tissue from the box on the vanity table she removes the lipstick from my teeth then reapplies it to my lips.

  “Enjoy it,” Lena says. “Patrick and I didn’t have an engagement party. To be honest, we didn’t have an engagement; he asked then we married the next day.”

  “Nails are done, hair and makeup are perfect, we are ready for the dress,” Mom says.

  Mom, Caitlann, and Lena help me out of my robe and into my dress. Lena zips the back of the dress making it impossible to breathe while Caitlann fluffs the skirts. “You look amazing,” Mom says helping to adjust the bodice of the dress.

  There’s a knock on the door and Dad steps inside, “It’s time baby girl.” Walking further into the hotel suite Dad rounds the corner, “Wow, Maks is a lucky man.”

  Taking my arm Dad escorts me downstairs to the lobby where Maks is waiting for me in an Armani suit perfectly tailored to show off his muscular chest and toned arms. I partially run into Maks arms wrapping my arms around his thin waist and hold him tight. “I missed you,” I mumble into his chest.

  “I missed you too,” Maks says kissing to the top of my head before stepping back to look me up and down. “Shauna, you look amazing. No wandering off tonight, all the men will chase after you.”

  “You are the only man I want.”

  “Lucky me,” Maks answers kissing me back. “Now it’s time to show off my future wife.”

  Taking Maks arm, we walk into the large ballroom to greet our guests. I’m stunned as we walk through the ballroom doors; it’s what I imagine the ballrooms on the Titanic looked like. I admire the tin ceiling, hand painted walls, and custom molding as Maks leads me around the room and to the head table where our parents are sitting. After helping me into my seat next to my mom, Maks takes the stage.

  “Good evening everyone and thank you for coming to celebrate my engagement to the most amazing woman. When Patrick first introduced me to Shauna, her natural beauty and grace took me aback. So much so I made a complete ass of myself and almost blew my shot with her, but Shauna has a big forgiving heart and gave me a second chance. I used all my charm and power of persuasion to make her fall in love with me and agree to be my wife. Thank you, Shauna, I love you pchelka.”

  As Maks takes his seat next to me I kiss him for his kind words, “I love you too.”

  Gennadi is next to take the stage, “Good evening everyone,” he says in his thick Russian accent. “I would like to thank everyone for joining us tonight to celebrate the joining of two families. Shauna is not only beautiful and brilliant; she is strong and will make the perfect Vory Pakhan wife.” Holding up his glass of champagne Gennadi toasts, “To Maks and Shauna, I wish you many years of happiness.”

  My dad takes the stage next, “What can I say about Shauna? She is stubborn, loud, and has a temper.”

  I roll my eyes and mutter, “Thanks, Dad.”

  Dad continues, “Maks you will never meet someone who is more loyal, loveable, and fiercely protective than Shauna. Be kind to each other and never go to bed angry. Welcome to the family Maks and good luck.”

  As Dad takes his seat next to Mom, the servers begin placing plates of Pomegranate-Glazed Roasted Quail with turnips and radishes on the tables. As we eat, more members of the Vory and The Family stand congratulating Maks and me on our upcoming nuptials.

  After the dinner dishes are cleared Patrick steps up to the mic, “Good evening. Lena and I would like to express our best wishes for Maks and Shauna. We would also like to welcome the Vory as the newest members of The Family. We look forward to many years of a mutually beneficial relationship.” Patrick signals to the band and they begin to play, “At this time, Maks and Shauna will share their first dance as a newly engaged couple.”

  Maks stands then helps me to my feet before leading me to the dance floor. As Maks leads me around the dance floor he asks, “Are you having fun?”

  “I am, but these shoes are killing my feet.”

  “I’ll rub them in bed tonight,” Maks tells me.

  As the song ends, Dad taps Maks on the arm, “May I cut in?”

  “Certainly,” Maks answers kissing me chastely before stepping back.

  As the next song begins, Dad leads me around the dance floor, “Are you having a good time?”

  “I am, it’s great to see everyone again. Did you see Erin is here with her husband, Landon?”

  “I did, he seems like a good guy.” Dad takes a deep breathe, “You know I won’t be doing my job if I didn’t ask. Are you sure Maks is the one?”

  I nod, “I’m as sure as I can be.”

  “That doesn’t sound promising. You don’t have to do this.”

  “I know, but I love Maks.”

  “But?”

  “But there is something he is keeping from me. I’m not sure what it is, but I know it is something big.”

  “Be careful, Gennadi is up to something,” Dad warns me as the song ends.

  Patrick takes the next song gliding with me around the dance floor while Maks mingles with our guests. “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time,” Patrick tells me.

  “I am, and I owe it all to you.”

  “No, I introduced you, you did all the work.”

  “Either way we owe you,” I tell Patrick as the song ends, and I excuse myself to the ladies’ room.

  Leaving the ballroom, I pass the hotel check-in desk and two empty ballrooms before finding the ladies’ room at the end of the hall. I wave hello to two of my cousins before scurrying into a stall. I exit the stall, the other girls have left leaving me alone to wash and fix my makeup before rejoining the party.

  Walking past an empty ballroom, I hear voices speaking in hushed Russian. I can’t hear everything they are saying, but they do say my name and Lena’s name. Stepping inside I walk on the balls of my feet so my heels don’t click on the hard wood floor. Crouching behind a table, I see Gennadi talking to another man I’ve never seen before. “Don’t worry Maks is playing his part,” Gennadi tells the man.

  “It is not what it looks like,” the man replies.

  “He is not in love with the Daly girl; she is his way to Lena,” Gennadi explains.

  “What is his plan? It has been months, and he is no closer than he was when he started,” the man demands.

  “It has been more difficult to get close to the girl than we anticipated. Love and Walsh have tight security around her at all times, but we have a new plan,” Gennadi explains quickly like he’s nervous.

  “What is your plan,” the man demands again.

  “Maks will kill Love,” Gennadi states.

  I gasp, my hand fulling to cover my mouth. The men look around the room trying to locate where the source of the noise. Gennadi instructs his bodyguard to search the room as he and the other man leave through the back door.

  With shaking legs and a pounding heart I slowly stand from my crouched position and run from the ballroom my heels loudly clicking on the wood floor. I run past the front desk, through the lobby, and through the front do
or, Gennadi’s bodyguard calling after me.

  The cold winter Delaware air instantly freezes my skin and takes my breath away, but I force myself to keep running. After about a block, the bodyguard stops chasing me, but I keep running until I reach the Amtrak station. Buying a ticket on the first train back to D.C. I sit, shocked about tonight’s turn of events.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Maks

  Talking to my Vory brothers, I scan the room for Shauna. Not seeing her, I excuse myself to find her. Moving around the crowds of people I see Patrick and Lena in the corner talking to a pretty redhead and a mountain of a man. “Maks,” Patrick says, “come meet our cousins from Colorado. This is Erin and her husband, Landon.”

  Shaking their hands, “It’s nice to meet you both,” I say. Turning back to Patrick and Lena I ask, “Have either of you seen Shauna? I haven’t been able to find her.”

  “The last time I saw her was after our dance when she excused herself to the ladies’ room, but I haven’t seen her since,” Patrick tells me.

  “Thank you.”

  Walking briskly from the ballroom I walk down the hall to the ladies’ room praying Shauna lost track of time talking, but she is nowhere to be found. Opening the door to the ladies’ room, I yell, “Shauna?” She doesn’t answer.

  I march back to the ballroom fear and panic overwhelms my thoughts. What if someone took her? What if someone hurt her? Jogging past the front desk, I run into Boris, my father’s bodyguard. “Have you seen Shauna? I can’t find her.”

  “Yes, I was coming to find you. She overheard your father and Luka talking about the plan to overthrow Patrick.”

  “What?” I roar. “What did you do to her?”

  “Nothing, I was trying to catch her and bring her back to the party for you to explain.”

  “Where is she?” I ask through gritted teeth.

  “I’m not sure. She ran, and I lost her after the first block,” Boris says sheepishly.

  “How the hell did you lose her? She is five-five wearing six-inch heels and a red dress. You are six feet tall in loafers.”