Loving Violet (Rockers' Legacy Book 4)

by Terri Anne Browning

  His throat worked and he opened his mouth, but no words came forth. I watched as tears spilled out of those eyes I’d once been hypnotized by. Eyes I could have spent the rest of my life getting lost in. His shoulders began to shake, but I felt no remorse, no compassion, no sympathy for the guy I once would have gladly laid down my own life for.

  “Tomorrow, I hope you wake up and you remember it all. Every day for the rest of your life, I hope you remember the way it felt to have me touch you, kiss you, tell you I love you. I hope it haunts you until you’re clawing at the last thread of your sanity.” I lifted my hand but stopped it less than an inch away from touching his jaw. I ghosted a caress over his flesh before dropping my hand to my side and clenching my fingers into a fist so tight my fingers started to go numb. “I hope you die a little more inside each and every time, until there’s nothing left.”

  Everyone watching us was so quiet, I didn’t even think they were breathing. When Luca released a sob, I stepped back, unaffected by the agonized sounds coming from him.

  Suddenly, Lyric was in the room, just as wet as his brother, his breathing labored as he glanced from me to Luca. With a sigh, he dropped an arm around his twin’s shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. “Let’s go, bro.”

  I stood there, unmoving and unable to feel a single thing but the hate burning in my heart as Lyric urged Luca from the room. Uncle Jesse followed, and even though my hate didn’t extend to him, I was glad he was leaving with them. I wanted everyone to go, wanted them hundreds of miles away because I was about to break. I’d tried to be strong during everything, but my control was slipping and I didn’t know how much longer I had until I completely lost it.

  “Sweetheart,” Mom murmured, her voice soft and trying to soothe. All it did was make me lose a little more of my much-needed control.

  “Please,” I was able to get out through the lump choking me. “I really just want to be alone right now.”

  “Vi,” Dad started to protest, but I looked up at him, and he must have seen how desperate I was. Muttering a curse, he stepped back. “Let’s give her some time. This has been a clusterfuck. Let’s eat and let her have a moment to breathe.”

  One by one, they all left me. Mom paused to hug me, and it took everything inside me not to fall on the floor and start sobbing then and there. When everyone but Shaw was gone, I glanced at her, ready to tell her to go with them, but she crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Not happening. You just found out your ex might be a daddy, Violet. I’m not leaving you.”

  “You know?”

  “Everyone knows,” she said with an angry twist of her lips. “Your dad was watching you and Luca from the door, and when it became apparent you weren’t happy, he asked what was going on. Aunt Layla started crying, and it all came out. Uncle Shane exploded, and things got crazy. If Barrick and Harris hadn’t been here, I’m pretty sure he would have started throwing punches.”

  “O-oh,” I whispered.

  She crossed to the door and tried to close it. But it was heavy and hanging at a weird angle. After a few moments, she cursed and kicked the damn thing. “How the hell did he break this thing down? I know he’s strong, but damn.”

  “Sh-Shaw.” I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to catch my breath. “I… I really need you…to go.”

  Turning, her eyes widened when they fell on me. “Vi?” Suddenly she was in front of me, cupping my face. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Take a few deep breaths.”

  “Go,” I panted. “Please.”

  “No,” she refused. “I’m not leaving you. Especially when you’re like this. You’re… I don’t know. This is a panic attack, I think.” She wrapped her arms around me, but it only made it worse.

  I couldn’t handle being comforted at the moment. I wanted to feel the pain. I needed it so I wouldn’t forget and ever let another person hurt me again. It wasn’t going to be okay—I wasn’t okay. The pain was starting to consume me. Every part of my body hurt, and it was making it hard to breathe, to think, to feel anything other than the pain and the hate that were infecting the spot where my heart used to be.

  Pushing her away, I ran into my bathroom and locked the door behind me. Pressing my back to it, I slowly slid to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. Moments later, she knocked on the door. “Vi, please let me in. I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to face this alone. You don’t have to be the strong one this time.”

  I lost control of my tears, and they began to flow silently down my face. I didn’t want her or anyone else to see me crying. All I wanted was to feel this pain and let go, alone. I didn’t want a witness to my agony, not even my best friend.

  After a few minutes, Shaw gave up on trying to get me to open the door, and I was finally able to release the sob that was choking me. The tears came faster, and my head began to pound until I couldn’t even think…

  A cold hand touched my arm, making me yell out in fright. Lifting my head, I gaped at Shaw. Through my tears, I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. She was actually standing there, her hair windblown and her cheeks pink as she breathed heavily. The small window in my bathroom was open just enough that she must have climbed through it.

  “Your dad needs to replace a few shingles now,” she said as she pushed her hair out of her face and sat down on the chilly tiled floor beside me.

  “You’re crazy,” I mumbled through my tears.

  “Yeah, yeah.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled on me until my head was lying in her lap. “Now, you pain in the ass, you go ahead and cry all you want. I’m not going to judge you or tell you it’s going to be okay. Maybe it will be one day. Maybe it won’t. And that’s okay. Because I’m not going to leave you. I’ll be right here beside you for however long you need me.” I started to speak, but she pressed the palm of her hand over my mouth. “Just shut up, Vi. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. The rest of us won’t break if you cry in front of us. It’s fucking okay not to be okay!”

  Maybe she was right, but I was too exhausted to care anymore. Rolling over, I pressed my face into her stomach and just let go. And she sat there, not telling me it was going to be okay, not saying much of anything except that she was there and she loved me as she combed her fingers lovingly through my hair.

  Time passed, and I must have cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I knew, Dad was knocking on the bathroom door. “Girls? Are you two okay in there?”

  Shaw yawned and stretched her arms, then looked down at me with a grim smile. “We’re good,” she called out. “Um, just an FYI, you might need to get someone to check your roof.”

  “What?” he exclaimed.

  “It’s a long story. One I’m not sure I have time to tell right now.” She started stroking her fingertips over my forehead, and I felt my eyes growing heavy again. “Just know that Violet is okay.”

  I heard him sigh heavily. “That’s all that matters.” There was a pause, then, “I’ll save you girls some dessert.”

  I drifted off to sleep again and woke up sometime later to someone lifting me off the floor. I lifted my lashes and saw Jagger was carrying me from the bathroom. Shaw pulled my comforter down, and he laid my head on my pillows before she tucked me in.

  But I’d liked her taking care of me a little too much, and I reached for her. “Please don’t go,” I whispered brokenly.

  She brushed her lips over my forehead. “I told you, Vi. I’m not going anywhere.” Taking off her jeans, she climbed in beside me, and I wrapped myself around her. “Turn off the light when you go,” she told Jagger.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he told her as he started for the door.

  “You do that,” she muttered. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”

  I heard the pain in her voice and tightened my hold on her. While I’d been numb following my breakup with Luca, I must have missed something. Fresh tears burned my eyes. “Shaw?”

  “Shh,” she said, kissing my brow. “We’ll talk tomorrow
. For now, just go back to sleep.”

  “But…”

  “Tomorrow,” she repeated and yawned. “Let’s sleep.”

  Sighing, I closed my eyes and, surprisingly, slept the rest of the night.

  The next time I opened my eyes, morning light was coming through my window and Shaw was already awake. Seeing my eyes were open, she smiled. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

  I rubbed at my grit-filled eyes. “What time is it?”

  “A little after eleven,” she said with a shrug. “You hungry? Because I’m starving.”

  My stomach growled, and I sat up. “Think there might be any leftovers from yesterday?”

  “Aunt Harper just came in a little while ago and said she made us plates that are in the fridge whenever we want them.” She sat up and stretched her arms. “Let’s eat, and then we can just veg out.”

  Downstairs, we found my parents in the kitchen drinking coffee together. When we walked in, they abruptly stopped talking, and I knew they must have been talking about me. Swallowing hard, I walked to the fridge and pulled out the two plates from the feast I missed the day before and carried them to the microwave.

  “Tell me more about why I need to get the roof inspected, Shaw,” Dad said casually as he refilled his mug.

  “It’s nothing major,” she assured him as she got us forks from the drawer beside Mom and then went to the fridge to grab us drinks. “I just loosened a few shingles when I was climbing on the roof from Violet’s bedroom to her bathroom.”

  “What?” Mom asked with a startled gasp. “What were you doing on the roof?”

  “It’s fine.” Shaw waved it off. “Nothing happened, so whatever, right?”

  “Shaw.”

  “So, anyway, you might want to get on that,” she said with a grin as she dropped into a chair at the island and waited for me to bring over our food.

  They didn’t argue with her, which surprised me. Instead, they just drank their coffee and watched us eat for a few minutes. After a while, I started to feel uncomfortable and looked at them. “What?” I grumbled, taking another bite of mashed potatoes.

  “I have to fly to the Paris office this afternoon,” Mom said with a beaming smile. “How would you like to come with me? We can go shopping after I’m done, make a girls’ weekend out of it.”

  “I don’t really feel like it, Mom,” I told her. “I’m tired.”

  “How about a few days in New York with Grandpa Cecil?” Dad suggested.

  “No thanks.” I pushed my half-empty plate away and picked up my can of Diet Coke. “Like I said, I’m tired.”

  “Honey—” Mom broke off with a grimace. “We just think it would be good for you if you had a change of scenery for a few days.”

  I had a feeling that wasn’t what she was originally going to say, so I just sat there looking at her. After a few minutes of silence, she looked to Dad for guidance. He clenched his jaw for a moment before speaking. “Luca has already been here twice. Until he’s back in Alabama, I think it would be better for you if you took a break from this place.”

  “But he was supposed to go back last night,” I muttered.

  “Emmie let us know she made a few phone calls. Told them he was sick.” Mom grimaced. “Got him out of the Iron Bowl without any issues. But he probably won’t be going back until Monday at the earliest. Maybe you should—”

  I stood and pushed in my chair. “No. I think this is the best place for me right now. Actually, Shaw and I are going to a party tonight. That will definitely be good for me.”

  “We are?” she asked, unable to hide her surprise. “We haven’t been to a party since…”

  “Which is why going to one now is the best idea,” I told her. “We’re no longer grounded, and we both need to unwind.”

  “No drinking,” Mom said sternly. “I really do have to fly to Paris. I don’t want to have to make an emergency trip home to deal with another disaster like the last time.”

  Somehow, I found the energy to smile for her. “Don’t worry, Mom. Nothing is going to happen that I don’t want to happen.”

  Chapter 27

  Violet

  Shaw pulled up in front of the house, and I glanced around. The place was gigantic, more a mansion than an actual house.

  It was the first time I’d been to Remington’s house, but from what he told me as we’d gotten to know each other the last few months, it was just him and his grandfather living there. And an arsenal of staff too, from what my friend told me with a roll of his clear blue eyes when he’d invited me to his Black Friday party the week before.

  I knew he was loaded. Everyone at our school was in some shape or form. But this house screamed billionaire status.

  Every light in the house was on, it seemed. And I couldn’t wrap my mind around how big the sound system had to be for the entire house to shake with the bass like it was. The vibrations were so intense, I could feel them just sitting in the car.

  Shaw turned her head, looking at all the cars already parked in the long driveway on the private property. We’d had to go through two different gates, both manned by several guards, before driving another mile to get to the house. The cars that lined the driveway made Shaw’s look sadly underrated, and she whistled appreciatively.

  “Remington has been holding out on us, girl,” she said with a grin.

  “Something tells me there aren’t many of our fellow students here. I don’t recognize any of these vehicles.” I pulled down the sun visor so I could use the mirror to check my makeup. I’d asked Shaw to make me sexy, and she hadn’t let me down. I barely looked like myself, and I was once again awestruck at all the makeup tricks she’d learned from being a model.

  After touching up my lip gloss, I scrunched up my nose at my reflection. Usually, I thought I looked more girl next door, but tonight, I’d wanted to be a sexy vixen. With the skirt I was wearing and the top barely covering my boobs that were being pushed toward my throat by the push-up bra I’d been saving for forever, I had to admit I looked the part.

  If Luca could have seen me, I was sure he would have been unable to keep his hands to himself. When he saw the pictures I was going to put on my social media for his benefit, I hoped they brought him to his knees.

  I’d never thought of myself as vindictive, but after having my heart torn from my chest by the one guy who was supposed to cherish it, I realized I was no longer the same person. I didn’t know if I liked this new Violet, but for now, she was in charge.

  Grabbing my phone, I ignored the hundred-plus texts from Luca and turned on my camera. Pulling Shaw close, I took a few selfies of us and posted one to my Instagram. I wanted Luca to know I wasn’t at home crying my eyes out like I’d done the night before.

  I was moving on.

  “Okay, I totally need to get in there. This music is kick-ass, and I’m dying of thirst right now.” Shaw started to open her door, but she paused and turned back to face me. “Are we drinking or not?”

  “We’re drinking,” I told her. “Remington told me when he invited us that we are more than welcome to stay the night if we get trashed. And I plan on getting fucking wasted.”

  Her brows lifted. “Two shots and you’ll be down for the count. You have no tolerance.”

  I shrugged. “I’m sure it will be a hangover I’ll never forget.”

  “What about the parentals? Your mom might be in another country right now, but Uncle Shane and my parents aren’t just going to let us spend the night at some guy’s house. We’ll get grounded again for sure.”

  I grinned down at my phone when I saw how many likes I’d already gotten on my new picture. “It will be worth it,” I murmured softly and opened my door. “Let’s worry about them later. Tonight, we’re going to have fun.”

  She sighed dramatically. “Okay. But if I don’t see the light of day for another month, I’m going to get whiny and bitch about it every day.”

  “I consider myself fairly warned,” I said with a laugh as we linked arms and walked up the st
eps to the front door.

  I wasn’t sure anyone would hear us if we rang the doorbell, but I didn’t feel right just walking into the house. But as soon as we reached the door, it swung inward and Remington stood there with a welcoming smile on his handsome face.

  “Finally,” he said, pushing an unopened beer into each of our hands. Lowering his head, he looked into my eyes. “Do not take any drinks I don’t get for you. These assholes are already wasted, and I don’t trust any of them.”

  “Do you even know these people?” Shaw asked as she uncapped her beer and tilted it back. She wasn’t kidding about being thirsty because she drained half the bottle in one gulp.

  “Some. I didn’t invite any of them. The old fuck did. Wanting me to ‘socialize’ with people in my own economic bracket, or so he said on his way out the door earlier. You two are the only ones I actually invited.” He sighed, then seemed to do a double take. His eyes skimmed over me from head to toe, and I saw something flash in his gaze that I’d been seeing more and more of lately. “Holy fucking shit,” he groaned. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

  “No?” I said it as a question, grinning up at him.

  Muttering something to himself I couldn’t hear, he took my beer from me and opened it. Tossing the top aside, he tipped it back and downed the entire bottle. When he lowered it, I pouted up at him. “I was thirsty.”

  “I’ll get you another,” he promised. Grasping my hand, he linked our fingers together and pulled me into the house.

  A laugh bubbled out of me, and I had to admit it felt good. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually laughed, but I’d noticed in the months since breaking up with Luca that the only time I ever came close was with Remington.

  He led me through a crowd that made any party I’d ever been to before seem like a toddler’s birthday party in comparison. No one looked even remotely familiar to me, and I knew a hell of a lot of celebrities and their kids. It didn’t surprise me that some of them recognized Shaw, however. Her face was everywhere, worldwide, so they would have to have been living under a rock not to know who she was.