Diary of a Journey Through Hell--Kris's Story

by Trudie Collins

  As they walked out of the room I turned to Spatha. “I hope you know what you are doing.”

  “Trust me big brother,” she said.

  “Now why do I always worry when I hear you say that?”

  “No idea,” she said, grinning at me.

  “Probably because I know you.”

  Knowing that it would be a while before the real test got under way and not wanting to be cooped up in the house I decided to take the wolves out for a run. I try to spend some time with them whenever I am home and they love to exercise. The cubs tried to follow, but gave up before even leaving the garden, deciding to play in the sun instead of trying to keep up with their parents.

  I returned just before lunch, showered and changed clothes before searching for my family. I found my parents in the sun room. “Any word yet?”

  Mom shook her head. She was about to say more when she was interrupted by a distraught Spatha bursting into the room, a wet and unconscious Rachel in her arms.

  “What happened?” I snapped at her, rushing forward and taking Rachel’s still form from her.

  “It went wrong,” she sobbed. “She went into the lake.”

  “Shit. She’s not breathing.” I felt for a pulse. Nothing. I laid her on the ground, closed my eyes and placed my hands on her chest. With my mind I forced her heart to start beating, though it was very faint. I reluctantly removed my hands, uncertain as to whether it would stop again.

  “Bath, now,” mom said and I carried her to her room where the bath had already filled itself with warm water. Following my mother’s instructions I gently laid her into the water then stepped back.

  I watched as my mother placed a hand on her forehead. “Is she alive?” I asked, dreading what the answer would be. I know how cold the water of the lake is and how quickly it can kill.

  “For now,” mom said. “She’s way too cold. We need to increase her core temperature as soon as we can.”

  “Want me to heat up the water?” dad asked, but mom shook her head.

  “No. We need to do this slowly.” She looked at me, then addressed dad. “Get him out of here. I will call when she is ready to be moved.”

  Before I could protest he grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room. He took me back to the sun room where Spatha still stood. She was shaking, though whether from cold or fright I didn’t know or care.

  “Go and get changed into something warm,” dad said before I could start interrogating her. She ran from the room and my father turned to me. “Try to stay calm. We will get the full story once Katana and Rob return.”

  “I knew this was going to happen,” I snapped. “I should never have listened to you.” I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

  I went straight back to Rachel’s room, but my mother told me to go away and leave her in peace. I ignored her and went to sit on the bed, slumped forward with my head in my hands.

  Time seemed to stand still as I waited for my mother to give an update on Rachel’s condition. When she did call out to me, however, it was only to ask me to get my father. I did as instructed and watched as he lifted Rachel’s still form from the bath and placed it on towels on the floor.

  “Please leave while I get her dried and dressed.” I refused to move. “She is going to be alright,” she said and I reluctantly allowed my father to drag me away. By the time Rachel was tucked up in bed Katana had returned with Rob. Everyone was in Rachel’s room looking at her still unconscious form when Spatha walked in.

  “What happened?” I shouted, unable to contain my fury. “I thought you said you had everything under control.”

  “I did,” Spatha replied. “My force field would have caught her, but Rob disrupted it by breaking the ice trying to get to her.”

  “I will never forgive you for this. Any of you.”

  Rachel’s eyes fluttered open. “It wasn’t Spatha’s fault. It was Fee,” she said weakly.

  “Shut up and go to sleep,” I snapped at her. Her eyes closed once more and I left the room, ordering Spatha and Katana to follow me. Rob accompanied them as we walked through the house and into the garden. Spotting the wolves, I asked them to keep an eye on Rachel and they obediently trotted into the house.

  “Why have you brought us out here?” Katana asked.

  “Because I’m less likely to kill you out in the fresh air. Now tell me what happened.”

  “Everything was going as planned,” Spatha said, slowly backing away from me as she spoke. “Rob could not bring himself to harm Katana so I allowed Rachel to drop. The force field should have caught her easily.”

  “So why didn’t it?”

  “Because of that idiot,” Spatha said, pointing at Rob. “He ran forward onto the ice, disrupting it.”

  “You have the audacity to blame Rob for this? You didn’t have the foresight to predict that Rob might try to get to Rachel? It was the natural thing to do.”

  “It was a stupid thing to do,” Spatha said.

  “Maybe, but under the circumstances it is understandable and you should have expected it. His best friend was in danger. He would instinctively go toward her, no matter what the danger to himself. Face it, this is all your fault. You screwed up badly this time.”

  Dad chose that moment to walk over to us, preventing me from telling my sister exactly what I thought of her.

  “I’m sorry Kris,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “This was never meant to happen.”

  “But it did, didn’t it.” I glanced at Rob, who was looking confused by what was happening, and calmed down a little. “Why don’t you explain to Rob exactly what is going on. Let him know how you have lied to him and deceived him. Don’t forget to mention why you thought it was a good idea to risk Rachel’s life,” I added bitterly before walking back into the house.

  The last thing I heard before closing the door was my father apologising to Rob.

  I made my way back to Rachel’s room, but was prevented from entering by mom, who was just leaving.

  “Let her sleep,” she said. “She is going to make a complete recovery, but it may take a few days.” She then looked me up and down. “You look like you want to kill something.”

  “Some one, not some thing.”

  “Go chop some wood. Take your anger out on a tree. If you have to destroy something you might as well do something useful.”

  Knowing it would be pointless to argue, I followed her advice.

  I had a large pile of firewood beside me when Rob eventually found me. “Has that helped at all?” he asked.

  “A little.”

  “Mind if I take over? It’s either that or I wrap my hands around your sister’s neck and I don’t think you would appreciate that much.”

  “Right now I’m not so sure.” I handed over the axe anyway. I had built up a sweat so I went to my room to shower and change clothes again. Once I had finished I went to visit Rachel. There was no sign of her waking up, so I headed to the kitchen where my mother was preparing the evening meal.

  “You should eat something,” she said, but I shook my head. Food was the last thing I wanted right then. She opened her mouth to say more, but I stopped her.

  “I know what you are going to say and I strongly suggest you don’t. This is Spatha’s fault and you saying otherwise will not change my mind.” It was childish, but I left the room before my mother could say anything more.

  I somehow managed to avoid the rest of my family for the remainder of the day, entering the dining room just as they had finished eating.

  “I need a drink,” I said to Rob, who looked like he had barely touched the food on his plate. “Care to join me?”

  “Why not,” he said. “Alcohol sounds like a good idea right now.”

  “Don’t have too much,” mom said, but I ignored her comment.

  I led Rob to the back of the house, opening a door into a small sitting room. “My great-grandmother uses this room whenever she visits,” I said as I ushered Rob in and closed the door behind
him. “This is probably the last place they will think to look for us.”

  Without bothering to ask what Rob wanted to drink I created two tumblers and a whisky bottle. Accepting his glass, Rob sat down on one of the sofas while I took the other. We talked for a while as we slowly got drunk, but not about anything important. Then we fell silent, each lost in our own thoughts.

  “What happened out there?” I asked after a while.

  “Katana led us to the lake,” Rob said. “Rachel and I discussed how we could possibly cross it. The next think I knew I was waking up, Katana was unconscious beside me and Rachel was hanging upside down over a hole in the ice with Fee flying above her.”

  “That must have freaked you out,” I said as I refilled the glasses.

  “It did. Fee suggested I forget about my mission to rescue Tammara and leave with her. When I refused she gave me the choice of killing your sister or watching Rachel die. I called her bluff so she let Rachel fall, preventing her from hitting the water when I called out for her to stop. She then raised Rachel up again and gave me a knife.”

  “I bet Rachel was screaming her head off.”

  Rob shook his head. “She was amazingly calm. She told me not to kill Katana. I seriously thought about it, but in the end I could not do it. Watching Rachel drop for a second time scared the shit out of me. I had already tested the water with my foot so I knew how cold it was. Without thinking I ran forward. I have no idea why. It’s not as if I would have got to her in time and I knew that the ice would not hold my weight.”

  “You reacted instinctively. It’s understandable. This is not your fault at all.”

  “Did you know?” Rob asked.

  I nodded. “I argued against what my family planned, but they were so sure that nothing would go wrong that I was stupid enough to trust them.”

  Rob was quiet for a while, then he asked a question that I really did not want to answer.

  “Why are you so upset about what happened?”

  I had to think about how to reply. I wasn’t prepared to tell him the truth, but I didn’t want to lie to him either. “I brought you here and my family put Rachel in danger. I feel responsible.” I was telling the truth, but avoiding the main reason for my hostility toward my sisters.

  “And you like Rachel.” It was a statement not a question.

  I decided to be honest with him. “Yes I do. I like her a lot.”

  An almost pained expression crossed Rob’s face. Had I been more sober I might have wondered about it more, but in my present condition I barely noticed it.

  We both went silent again.

  “The bottle’s empty,” Rob said a little while later as he refilled both of our glasses once more. I smiled at him and made the bottle refill itself. It was nearly empty again by the time my mother and Spatha found us.

  “I think you have had enough,” mom said.

  “I disagree.”

  “Me too,” Rob said. He tried to stand up and failed.

  Mom sighed. “Get your father,” she said to Spatha. “It looks like he will need carrying to bed.”

  “I’m fine,” Rob said, slurring his words as he attempted to stand again.

  “I can take him,” Spatha said and helped him to his feet. Somehow she managed to manoeuvre him out of the door, which mom shut behind them.

  I refilled my glass and she snatched the bottle from my hand. “I said you have had enough.”

  I downed the contents of the tumbler in one gulp, then made the glass refill itself. Mom glared at me. Then her face softened.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asked.

  “No.” I then proceeded to pour out all of my feelings to her. “I thought I had lost her today,” I said. There was no need to explain who. “Thanks to my bloody sisters, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with almost died. I just want to take her into my arms and never let her go, but I can’t. I can’t tell her how I feel because she doesn’t feel the same. If Ankou walked into the room I might as well not exist as far as she is concerned.”

  I felt my anger building as I spoke. “It’s just not fair. He can have any woman in the world and he has probably already had most of them. Why does the one woman I want have to be besotted with him?”

  “Are you really sure she is?” she asked.

  “Of course I am,” I shouted. “You haven’t seen the way she looks at him. It’s just so damn unfair.” I threw my tumbler at the wall in frustration. It shattered on impact, littering the floor with shards of glass.

  Mom sighed sadly, made her way to the door, then called for my father. When he arrived she asked him to make the mess disappear, which he did with one quick thought, then requested that he carry me to bed.

  Despite being shorter than me, dad easily picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was too drunk to offer any resistance as I was carried to my room and dumped on my bed. I closed my eyes and was soon fast asleep.

  Hangover

  It was late the next morning when I opened my eyes and I instantly regretted doing so. Searing pain shot into my head and I groaned loudly. I hadn’t felt this bad since university. Someone had left a glass of water by my bed, which I gratefully drank down, only to bring it all up again the moment it hit my stomach. Thankfully a bucket had been placed beside me so I didn’t make a mess of the carpet.

  When I had completely emptied the contents of my stomach I curled into a ball and placed my pillow over my head. It took a while, but eventually I managed to get back to sleep.

  I felt a little better when I woke up the second time. My head still pounded and my tongue felt swollen and furry, but at least I was able to keep a little of the water down this time. Someone had refilled the glass while I had been asleep and replaced the bucket. They must have also done something to freshen the room as there was no lingering smell of vomit.

  My curtains had been opened and sunlight streamed into the room. A soft breeze came in through the open window and I would have appreciated it had I been able to think of anything other than how much my head hurt.

  I stumbled out of bed and closed the curtains, blocking out the light which was making my eyes hurt, but decided to leave the window open.

  I was back in bed once more when my mother entered the room without knocking.

  “You’re alive then,” she said.

  “I’ll have to take your word for that,” I moaned. ‘How’s Rachel?”

  “Lucky for you she is still asleep. I don’t think she would appreciate seeing you like this. Rob is just as bad.”

  I groaned again and placed the pillow over my head once more.

  “Sit up and drink this,” she said, handing me a steaming cup of black coffee when I complied.

  I took a sip, winced, then took another.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and regarded me critically. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It’s not like you to let things affect you so badly.”

  “Tell me about it.” I tried to laugh, but it made my head and stomach muscles hurt.

  “I don’t think it is a good idea for you to see any more of Rachel,” she said. “When she recovers, Spatha or Katana can take over as guide. Stay here and get her out of your system.”

  “No.” The thought of never seeing Rachel again caused me more pain than my hangover.

  “Then what do you suggest? You cannot go on like this.”

  “Let me think about it when my head stops pounding.” I really did not feel well enough to be having this conversation.

  “Well if you won’t leave her, make her yours. I see no other solution. Do whatever you need to to extend the journey. Just be yourself and let her get to know the real you.”

  “What do you think I’ve been doing?”

  “Well try harder,” my mother said unsympathetically, then stood up and left the room.

  I drank some more of the coffee then tried to go back to sleep.

  It was getting dark when the sound of someone knocking at my door woke me up.

  “C
ome in,” I called out and was pleased to find that my headache had almost gone.

  My father walked in carrying a tray. He put it on the bedside table and looked at me critically. “You don’t look too good.”

  “Thanks,” I said dryly.

  “Your mother thought that you might not be able to make it to dinner, so asked me to bring you this. I think she spoils you.” I nodded my head in agreement. “I hear you had a chat about Rachel,” he continued. ‘I think you have made the right decision by continuing to be her guide. I like her; we all do, and she will be very good for you if you manage to win her round. Good luck.”

  Without waiting for a response he stood up and left the room.

  “I’m going to need it,” I muttered before looking at the contents on the tray. It made me feel nauseous again, so I placed it on the floor beside me and lay down once more. Closing my eyes I drifted back to sleep.

  Recovery

  When I awoke the next morning I felt a lot better. And extremely hungry. I quickly showered then dressed and made my way to the dining room where breakfast was being served. None of my family commented about me spending all of the previous day in bed, much to my surprise. Rob showed up a little while later looking rather sheepish.

  “Were you as sick as I was?” I asked as he took a seat beside me.

  “Probably,” he replied. “How’s Rachel?”

  “Still asleep,” mom said. Seeing the look of concern on Rob’s face she continued. “Nothing to worry about. Sleep is the best thing for her so we are keeping her unconscious. She should wake up in the next few hours.”

  Rob nodded his understanding, then tucked into his food as though he had not eaten in a month.

  I excused myself and went straight to Rachel’s room. Not expecting her to be awake, but deciding it was impolite to just walk in, I knocked on the door and entered.

  I was surprised to find her eyes open and smiled at her. “How are you feeling?”

  “I need to get up,” she said, but I shook my head. The two wolves were lying on either side of her, pinning her in place with the bedclothes, while the cubs were curled up by her feet.