Between Shadows

by Joanne Durann

  Miranda started some dinner; she found beans, beef stock, canned meat, and potatoes. She made what smelled like an amazing meal, this was especially good considering what food Miranda had found at her disposal. As the food was finishing up on the wood stove, she set the table for two and then started to look around for something to do or read while she waited; somewhere in the back of her mind Miranda hoped Jared would come back.

  To her delight Miranda found a wall filled with wonderful classics, books she loved and were the ones she never had the time to read before. Miranda also found bottles upon bottles of red wine in a special wine closet.

  “What the hell, I might as well get drunk before I die!” Miranda laughed at herself.

  Miranda was laughing at herself again when she realized only she could be so carefree with the knowledge that at any time she could die. After looking around a little further she found the candles and candlesticks. Miranda pondered at how well “equipped” this cabin had been for a man, let alone a vampire, one who cared nothing for anyone or anything. Miranda decided to light candles all over the house as she came to realize the lack of electricity.

  Miranda looked at the book she picked, it was an old classic Jane Austin novel; one that she had always wanted to read but had never really had the time. She lit the candles on the beautifully set table, if only I wasn’t here all alone then this would almost be perfect.

  She suddenly laughed out loud to keep from crying “All this, a beautiful table, a fine meal, and a death sentence to match! Now where is my executioner? I shall be ready for the gallows soon.”

  Miranda thought for a minute, “Girl you are really starting to lose it, it's no matter though, and if you’re going to die you might as well lose your mind first.”

  Miranda knew somewhere down deep it would be a while before she saw Jared again, but she also decided she would set the table for two for each meal until he returned. Miranda already knew Jared didn’t know when he was coming back, that much was in his head. In Jared’s eyes where a weird range of emotions, starting with confusion, to something he couldn’t quite grasp. So as Miranda cleaned up from dinner, sat back to read and waited. What she was waiting for she really didn’t know, but Miranda was alone and waiting. Miranda was having a hard time staying awake, the day had been so long and hard, so soon she decided she would get ready for bed.

  Miranda walk into the bedroom to see if she could find a t-shirt or something she could wear to sleep in. She was quite surprised to find a bunch of her clothes so with that Miranda got changed. She grabbed a blanket, went in to the living room and comfortably fell asleep. As she fell asleep Miranda felt as if she was being watched by someone close to her, like her grandmother, someone who wanted to keep her safe. It was a deep sleep and a very happy, restful sleep, one she hadn’t felt for a long time. Miranda dreamed about her day and everything that had happened to her and about the man she thought was sent to kill her. In her dreams however, it was all ok and Miranda knew it would somehow work out. She knew that life would change and be different but it would all somehow workout.

  Miranda didn’t even know she was smiling in her sleep but Jared did because he was the one watching over her. Jared was the one between shadows; he was the one watching over Miranda, the one like her with so many questions.

  As he watched he started to wonder why isn’t Miranda in the bedroom, was the couch that much more comfortable? What was wrong with my bed was she to good for it? She started out in the bedroom after dinner, she had changed in there, that’s when I came back, because I knew I needed more information then I had. Jared continued thinking, why had she set the table for two? Miranda couldn’t know I was coming because even I didn’t even know I was coming back. I knew after I left I didn’t know enough about her powers to go back with a full report, and answer the questions of why I haven’t kill her already, I needed to come back to stay around and watch.

  Jared wanted to see how Miranda would react, when she woke up all alone in a place she didn’t, know with him gone. He wondered if she would need him, he couldn’t deny that, he needed her to need him for some reason to make everything ok. He didn’t understand why he felt that need because Miranda was just another mark. Jared also went inside because he needed to make sure Miranda was ok, he had started to feel bad right after he wrote that note. Jared felt he should have been better to Miranda but he couldn’t figure out why. More importantly, Jared couldn’t understand why or when he even started to care what happened to her because he hadn’t cared about anyone, other than his family, in almost a century.

  It was early in the morning when Miranda woke up, she was still smiling from the dream she had, she hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Something had changed inside of her, Miranda had been happy before, but this time she felt free. The sun wasn’t quite up yet, but something, somewhere had woken her from her sleep. She wasn’t quite sure what it was but Miranda knew it wasn’t friendly, that’s when she heard the noise again, really this time for the very first time. It sounded as if something was dying, and that something was killing it, but even more like something was eating it.

  Miranda did what she told and didn’t even try to look out the window. She knew in her heart it was more than the fact that Jared told her it was a bad idea; it was that Miranda knew whatever she saw was going to be awful. Terror once again had gone through her as Miranda suddenly remembered what he had said before the fight, before the fight when he had hurt her, not physically but mentally, before Jared had left her here all alone. Miranda started to wonder why she even trusted Jared at all, after all who was he to her, but an executioner. Then with the raising of the sun, all of the horrible, terrible night sounds and thought in her head of terror went away and Miranda started once again to think about food. Her hunger was not the first thing on her mind it was more about the way she could pass the time. Miranda really wasn’t sure how to do it; she wasn’t used to having time on her hands, and she wasn’t sure how much time Jared would leave her here all alone.

  So Miranda decided that today she would stay in bed for a long time; there was really nowhere to go, not if she wanted to stay alive, and nothing pressing to do. There was only one thing left to do, she took the time to be alone with her mind to find peace; this was something she had been afraid to do before. Miranda felt like she should have done this awhile ago, take time to see her life for what it is, but her fear of finding herself alone with nothing at all blocked her from ever doing it before.

  Strange, she thought to herself, it took a death wish and being kidnapped by a man who wanted me dead for me to finally be able think about the peace I need. Miranda thought back further, it had been since I was fourteen; it was then that I had made the decision to become “normal” and lock away everything that I knew. Up until then everyone thought I was a freak, or crazy, or something and that’s when it happened. One night after watching the eyes of the only person, who believed in me die, I had to just stop. I blocked all of the craziness out; I had to be done with it all. My grandmother wanted to say something but she stopped, because I saw her death, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore, and I’ll never know what she wanted so bad to tell me.

  Miranda walked across the bedroom and grabbed her book off the nightstand and started to read again, she hadn’t done anything like this in a very long time. She never really thought much about what she wanted or needed, so reading a novel never became a priority. Miranda only ever worried about what other people wanted her to do or needed from her. Miranda thought this is part of being “normal” blocking out everything she saw and felt.

  She had always read, but for a great while the only books Miranda read were either for classes in college, information for work, or bedtime stories for the kids. She did love reading to the kids, Miranda would make up strange voices for the characters, and jump about in their room. The kids loved this side of her, and so did Ben. Miranda knew it was because this was the more natural, not “normal” side of her; it was a time where even she
felt more comfortable in her own skin. Miranda had tried to tell Ben about the things she could do but it only angered him, so she stopped trying, even though that upset her.

  It was sometime later in the morning that she felt the urge to eat again so breakfast it was, especially since Miranda knew Jared wasn’t coming back anytime soon, into the kitchen she went. The fire in the stove was out and Miranda knew she needed to start it again to get breakfast going. Breakfast was easy, at least once she started the fire, and she made it quickly and set the table for two again. That’s when Miranda turned and saw Jared standing in the corner just staring at her, watching her; she didn’t know what to say.

  Jared broke the silence, “Are you expecting someone?”

  Miranda didn’t answer she was so shocked to see him she couldn’t even breathe.

  So Jared continued, “You did set the table for two, didn’t you?”

  He pointed to the table as he sat down and waited to see what she would do. Jared didn’t know how she would react but he was happy, finally he was one step ahead of her at something and he was proud of that.

  “I didn’t know if you or anyone else would be joining me.”

  Miranda tried to be nonchalant as she spoke but the shakiness in her voice gave her away. Miranda set down the breakfast on the table before Jared, and then she said a little prayer, and started to eat. She waited for his reaction, it was the first time since they met that Miranda didn’t know what Jared was going to do or say and she liked it, she was proud of herself. This was one time she was going to let the burden get in the way because she knew how painfully Jared reacted to it.

  Miranda tried small talk but Jared started in at her with a million questions, and at one point it was so confusing that she couldn’t think straight, so she just stopped and didn’t answer him at all. Miranda wondered what Jared was trying to get at, she didn’t understand what he was after, and so she hit him on the head with a roll.

  “What is it that you really want to know? Could you just stop playing games and just ask me the real questions you need answered?”

  Jared wasn’t really sure of what to say, but for the first time in his very long life, he decided to be honest and talk with his victim. He calmed down and spoke a little slower and a bit nicer.

  “I need to know what you know, I need to know what you can do, and I need to know all of it now.”

  Miranda looked at him with concern, not because she didn’t want to understand the questions, but because she wasn’t what the real answers were.

  “I’m not sure how to answer you. I can’t be sure I know the real answer, I’m just starting to understand what’s going on with me, myself.”

  Miranda thought hard and then continued, “For a long time I thought I was crazy, that I didn’t see things but imagined them, that’s what I was told since I can remember. No one ever believed me and my family didn’t trust me. I felt like they hated me for it, but it’s more than that, I’m just not sure…”

  Jared felt bad for her and he could see in Miranda eyes all of the pain, hurt and anguish that the years had forced her to endure.

  Jared spoke slowly this time, “Start at the beginning and this time I promise, I will listen.”

  Jared knew that answers were somewhere locked up inside of Miranda and the only to get to them was to begin where Miranda saw the problems start.

  “I could remember from a very young age that I would see things and then they would happen. The more I told people, the more I would get yelled at, or punished. My dad seemed to hate it the most and although I tried to please him it never happened, and George just got more annoyed. My mother, Wendy, always made excuses for his behavior but I knew something was wrong.” She paused for a minute to think, “Please answer one question for me? If you answer my question I’ll tell you whatever you want I promise there’s just something I need to know.” Miranda seemed extremely upset.

  “Ok, what is the question you need answered and I’ll do my best, like you I’m not sure I know the answer.”

  Jared truly for some reason wanted to help Miranda because he could really feel the pain inside tearing her apart, he too had felt that pain in his past, Jared knew what Miranda wanted and he was ready to give it to her. He felt a strange connection in their lives and pain, he wasn’t sure why but it was growing as she spoke. It was a price worth paying, even if it was his death or if it made his family unhappy, Jared knew this was something he could give to her.

  “That man I saw in your eyes, who is he? Do you think we are related?” she asked.

  Miranda was very unsure she wanted the answer; she just knew she needed it; this was the answer that had plagued her all of her life.

  She continued, “Is there any way you can help me find the answers if you don’t know them?’

  Jared looked at Miranda with pity and something else, although he wasn’t quite sure what is was, and he answered “I’ll do what I can, his name is Gage and I do think you are related, although I can’t be positive. He is, how do I put this, in our hierarchy and I’m not, but my father is. Now before I tell you anything else you need to answer some questions for me. Do this and I promise you I find out whatever it is you need.”

  Miranda decided she would explain her life to Jared from start to finish. She would give him what he needed, everything she knew up until now, and then see where it all lead to. Miranda hoped it would lead to answers for herself, but she also knew it could also lead straight to her death.

  “In the beginning I thought my parents where right and I had been making things up in my head, but then I started to realize I was right. I always seemed to know ahead of time what was going to happen, one time I even predicted the lottery numbers, of course I wasn’t grounded for that. It started with little things but as I got older it became stronger and I couldn’t control it. I would see good things but also horrible, evil things too. I even saw that my dad was cheating on my mom, and mom was angry at me for that. That was the first time I understood my dad’s problem with me.”

  Jared spoke very softly, “Just take your time, you were young and it wasn’t your fault. This gift you have, it didn’t give you the choice, and you didn’t pick to be like this.”

  “I know. It was also the day I started to wonder about who I really was and where I really came from. My mother confronted my father at the women’s house I saw him there, and he screamed at her, something like it was all her fault, because of what she did he needed this. I could only see what I saw because it was my father’s genes passed on to me. I feel asleep listening to them scream, from the women’s house, to the car, and back into my house.”

  “They did this in front of you? I though the Malus had problems!” Jared screamed out.

  Jared was getting very angry, there was a rage starting inside of him, and didn’t quite understand why. This wasn’t his problem, he should just be thinking about gathering information. Something inside Jared was starting to snap and he very afraid of losing control on the humans that did this to Miranda. Jared took a deep breath and waited for Miranda to go on and finished the story, he tried to remain calm and focused.

  “I was only about 7 at the time and I guess they believed I slept through the whole thing, because later they acted as if nothing had ever happened. They even told me I dreamed the house, the creaming match, and the other women, but I saw her in a store later that same week. She told me to stay away from her and to never tell anyone what had happened.”

  Miranda stood up and walked around for a moment trying to get herself together, she was shaking and very upset.

  “Things continued like this until I was fourteen, the only one by then who would talk to me, or be alone in the same room with me was my grandmother. My mother kept us apart because she was sick but she said she had something to tell me, so I snuck into see her. That was last time I saw her alive, I looked into her eyes and knew instantly that she would not wake up the next morning, and can you believe she thanked me for that? She understood I coul
dn’t control it and she begged me not to give up, even knowing she was going die by morning my grandmother was still trying to help me. It was the last time, until now, I’ve ever spoke about it. After that conversation I decided I would block it at all costs, I never wanted to see anything again. Up until about a month before the accident it worked, but on my twenty-seventh birthday something changed and I couldn’t stop seeing things that weren’t really there, or so I thought weren’t there. Turns out you guys really are here and it’s not my imagination.”

  Jared touched Miranda‘s shoulder and spoke, “I need to know about any and all of your gifts before I leave you this time, so I can get back quickly. I don’t know why but I don’t want to leave you alone for long, I have a strange need to get back to you.”

  Jared knew saying that could change things but he didn’t cared, he wanted Miranda to know where he stood, and maybe she wouldn’t give him such a hard time about leaving again.

  “Thank you.” Miranda spoke calmly again, “I know they are growing, especially since I open up, and stopped trying to block them and more since you brought me here last night. I could see many different races wondering around in my world, but now I can see and feel; what and how everything is thinking. The past, future, present I seemed to know it all at a glance and something weird has been happening, as if I wasn’t weird enough, if I think about something I want it comes out of nowhere. Also if I get angry enough and I want to change something, it changes, and I get the feeling that’s not the end. It’s like I’m in the middle of a power boost that I can’t stop, look I even just figure this little gem out.”