Follow Your Heart

by Ruth Kaufman

  His wet hands slipped under her chemise and over her skin from her back to her shoulders as he reacquainted himself with her body. He drew the dampened linen over her head. Should she be embarrassed to be so exposed to him in the light of day? Intense need and the appreciation in his eyes pushed any concerns away.

  He cupped her breasts, the heels of his hands gently kneading. Then he circled his thumbs over her nipples as she clutched his shoulders. Desire spiraled through her. But his hands weren’t enough.

  “More. I want more.”

  “Then you shall have it.”

  He sat on the chair and guided her onto his lap. His erection pressed against her soft folds. Instinctively she pressed closer, tilting her hips. She undulated against him, watching where their bodies touched.

  He lowered his head and took a nipple into his warm mouth. As he licked and sucked, need surged within. She slid her fingers into his damp hair. His hand slipped between them, finding her center. Hot, she was so hot. She gasped as he heightened her arousal with leisurely strokes.

  “Faster,” she urged as need spiraled.

  His fingers complied, filling her with smoldering pleasure.

  He lifted his head. The look in his eyes excited her almost as much as his touch. She infused her love and passion into her kiss.

  “By the stars, Joanna, what you do to me,” he murmured against her mouth.

  His erection pulsed against her. She wanted him inside her.

  Adrian knew what she wanted, and lifted her hips slightly. He wanted it too. More than wanted. He had to have her. He’d spent hours dreaming of this, how her hair would drift over his shoulders and tease his skin, just as it was doing now. How her soft moans would captivate him.

  “Sit on me.” He guided her with hands on hips.

  The pleasure he felt as she mounted him took his breath away. She fit him so tightly, he never wanted to leave. She collapsed against him for a moment, her breasts against his chest. Then she began to move. His hands held her hips. So slowly she rose up, then pressed down until he filled her completely. She increased the speed, just slightly. until his every inch screamed for release. He strained to prolong his ecstasy to be one with her. Sharing that special moment suddenly became an urgent goal.

  “Come with me,” he whispered.

  He forced himself to control the desperate need to thrust into her. Yet he found that letting her move as she pleased intensified his pleasure. He thought he’d explode from the sensations crowding him.

  “Yes, oh yes,” she breathed.

  Their mutual need burst into astonishing completion.

  “By the stars,” he said. He could say no more.

  Chapter 23

  “What are you doing here? And this early in the morning?”

  The faintest pink of breaking dawn outlined William standing on her studio doorstep.

  “Joanna, there’s something I must show you,” he said eagerly. “Something to prove who your husband truly is. You must trust me. You’ve put your faith in the wrong man.”

  Joanna cringed. Her brother always found the precise words to unearth her worst fears.

  Despite their closeness since his release from prison, she sensed Adrian still kept a dire secret. Did William know of it, or was this another hoax? The only way to be certain was to go with him. But not today.

  “William, you know very well this is Corpus Christi day and I must help with the guild’s play. They’ve spent weeks preparing. I was just about to leave.”

  “Of course I know what day this is, which is how I knew you’d be awake so early. You can’t tell me that some play about Jesus destroying Hell is more important to you than your husband.”

  “If you truly know something about Adrian, it will keep until the morrow. This day is important to the entire town, not only the guilds. Find a spot at one of the stations to watch the plays and come back tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow might be too late,” he insisted. “Surely you can spare a few minutes?”

  She bit her lip. Her brother had disappointed her so many times. Was being too gullible, too willing to trust one of her flaws?

  “Where we need to go is close to Pageant Green. Don’t the wagons still gather there?” he asked.

  “I see you do remember something. Very well, I’ll go, but let’s hurry.” If William had a nefarious purpose, better to be in a crowd than alone at her studio.

  Joanna quashed a frisson of fear as she followed William. “Is Adrian in danger?”

  “No. Not that. You’ll see.”

  She barely noticed the doorways decorated with flowers as they wound their way through streets already crowded with people trying to secure a good vantage point to view the pageant wagons.

  Each wagon presented one of the forty-eight Corpus Christi plays telling the story of the Bible from the Creation to the Last Judgment. The cycle began early in the morning and lasted well into the evening. At least William wouldn’t dare try anything untoward with so many people around.

  They ended up at a small house, which true to William’s word was close to Pageant Green. She could see whatever he wanted her to see and still be on time to meet up with her guild.

  Instead of going to the door, William squatted beneath the window. He tugged on her gown. “Get down. Be careful, so they don’t see us.”

  “Why such secrecy?” She gathered her skirts and stooped beside her brother.

  “You’ll see.” He poked his head slightly over the ledge and gasped. “Yes, I was right. Look, look at that!”

  She raised her head. The window was grimy, the room beyond was dim. But she could make out two people embracing each other. Was one of them naked?

  As she leaned forward to get a better view, the door opened.

  “Why, Joanna, so kind of you to visit. And who have you brought with you?”

  “Adrian?” What was he doing here, and how could he have gotten here before she did? She’d left him sleeping in their bed when she went to her studio, and hadn’t spent much time there.

  The sun hadn’t yet climbed over the rooftops, leaving the street in shadow. She stood, and gasped. Before her stood not Adrian, but Andrew, wearing a thin robe. His voice and face so closely resembled her husband’s, but there was no mistaking this man’s shorter hair. Nor the eerie gleam in his blue eyes. William whispered behind her. “I told you so.”

  Joanna wanted to collapse with relief. Whatever was going on in this house was Andrew’s doing, not Adrian’s.

  “I’ve seen enough. Goodbye, William.” She turned.

  “You can’t leave now!” William and Andrew said in unison.

  “William, you fool, this isn’t Adrian. This man is Andrew, Adrian’s twin brother.” Slowly, she began to back away from them. “I too am a fool for coming here with you.”

  William’s mouth dropped open. “But…but…,” he sputtered. “They’re so alike.”

  “Look closely. Andrew has shorter hair. His wrist bears no scars. And believe me, they’re even more different on the inside.”

  “Sister-by-law, you wound me,” Andrew said, putting his hand over his heart. “Now that you’re here, now that you know, you must stay for a visit. See up close what you glimpsed through the window.”

  His tone sounded pleasant but Joanna detected an undercurrent of malice.

  “I can’t accept your invitation. I’m expected at Pageant Green.” She wanted to run there, anything to get away from Adrian’s sinister brother.

  “But I insist,” Andrew said. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the house.

  Joanna tried to pull her arm free, but Andrew’s strength far exceeded hers. With her free hand she grabbed the door frame. The uneven wood bit into her fingertips.

  “William! Help me!” she cried.

  William simply stood there, his mouth hanging open. Then he turned and fled.

  Andrew tugged harder. She clung to the door for dear life, but she couldn’t maintain her grip. She tried to kick Andrew, but he avoided he
r feet.

  “No! Let me go!”

  A couple dressed like Adam and Eve paused briefly, then hurried past.

  “Help! Someone help me!” A fingernail tore as Andrew yanked her into the house. Burning pain consumed her.

  He closed the door, barely missing her still-grasping fingers. He turned the key in the lock and hung the chain around his neck.

  Joanna shivered as blood dripped onto the floor. She had to escape. Perhaps the house had a rear exit. At the moment, Andrew blocked her path.

  “I’m sorry you’ve hurt yourself. Here.” He tossed her a clean handkerchief. “I have something special to show you, Joanna. I hope you’ll enjoy it. I know I will. Even more so with you here.”

  She caught the cloth and wrapped it around her bleeding finger. “Andrew, let me go. I must get to my guild’s wagon. I didn’t have time to see anything through the window. I have no idea what you do here. Nor do I care.”

  “Come, sit beside me,” he ordered.

  She didn’t move.

  “I said sit.” He grabbed her wrist again and pulled until she sat on the worn velvet bench. His fingers were clammy and cold.

  Her hand throbbed, her heart raced. How could she get out of here?

  Andrew let her go and clapped his hands. A thin young man wearing only a frayed silk robe entered from another room. His hair was long, blond and curly. Like a woman’s.

  Joanna couldn’t fathom what Andrew had in mind. Her nervousness and desperation increased. How had she let William lure her here? And how could he have abandoned her to Andrew?

  “This is Henry, just like our true king.” He walked over to Henry and took him into his arms. He turned to look at Joanna. “Watch us.”

  Andrew kissed Henry on the lips.

  Joanna jumped and ran to the door, though she knew the key dangled from Andrew’s neck. She faced the portal to freedom. She wouldn’t turn around.

  She’d heard that some men preferred men to women. For such a seemingly pious man as Andrew to commit what their religion considered such a sin….

  “Joanna. I said you were to watch,” Andrew called, his voice harsh.

  Without turning, Joanna said, “Andrew, please open the door. I wish to leave.”

  “I wish you to stay. Sit down or I will tie you down. Mmm. I would like that. And don’t close your eyes.”

  Reluctantly, Joanna returned to the bench. There was no way to escape. She should consider herself lucky they didn’t want her to participate. The thought turned her stomach. Resolutely she opened her eyes, but concentrated on a distant point on the wall behind them so the men before her blurred.

  Even with her unfocused vision, she could tell Andrew and Henry had shed their clothes. They kissed passionately.

  Joanna bit her tongue to keep from crying. Why did they want her to watch? Somehow her presence must increase their enjoyment, for every few seconds one of them glanced in her direction to make certain she was still paying attention.

  Maybe she could slip past them. She stood and dashed toward the back of the house.

  Only a few more steps to freedom.

  She jerked to a halt. Andrew had a hold on her skirts. She looked up at the ceiling to avoid his nakedness. “Unless you’re coming to join us, sit back down. Or I will sit you down myself.”

  Her heart hammering, mouth dry, she returned to the bench and sat. What now? How much more would she have to take?

  The front door crashed into the room. Adrian stalked in, sword in hand. William followed close behind. Face filled with fury, Adrian strode past Joanna, blocking her view of the two naked men.

  He turned and scanned her up and down. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded, overcome with a mixture of relief and joy. Adrian had come for her.

  He turned back to Andrew, who’d backed away from Henry and hastily donned his robe.

  “So, my brother. What have we here? A secret of your own, as bad if not worse than mine. I’d say this cancels out the other, wouldn’t you? I don’t think you’ll be turning me in or testifying against me. Ever. Or I’ll be doing some testifying of my own,” Adrian said. “Now I see why you’ve been so troubled of late. You weren’t praying for an answer to what to do about me, you sought guidance for your sins. How conflicted you must be, struggling with your licentious thoughts. Succumbing to your weaknesses.”

  The blond man scurried away as Andrew clutched his robe closer.

  “You can’t intimidate me,” he said. “When I turn you in to the Church, who will they believe? Me, the devout, or you, allied with the Devil? When I reveal what I know about you, if you try to tell them anything about me, they’ll know you lie in a vain attempt to discredit your accuser. They’ll laugh off your tales as will I,” Andrew taunted.

  Blessed Lord, what on Earth was Andrew talking about? What was Adrian’s secret? The suspense was unbearable.

  “Your supposed devotion mocks the true faith,” Adrian said. “A man who has sex with other men is considered a sinner. You know the punishments and penance are severe. And it’s against the law.”

  “Nothing has changed between us,” Andrew said with a sneer. “Except now you may have to tell your lovely glass-painter wife the truth about your affliction. I’m sure she’s been wondering what all the secrecy is about.”

  Wondering? She was dying to know. It was all she could do to stay quiet and not insist Adrian tell her immediately. But she wouldn’t give Andrew or William the satisfaction of being present when she found out. And find out she would. What “affliction” could possibly be “as bad if not worse” than what she’d just seen?

  Joanna forced the still-vivid events of the last few moments out of her head. Soon she’d learn what Adrian had kept from her. But why had they spoken of testifying? Had Adrian committed a crime? What had Andrew meant by “affiliated with the Devil?”

  The room was so silent she could hear Adrian breathe. He hadn’t moved; all she could see was his broad back. What was he thinking? Was he considering what to tell her or still absorbing the shock of discovering his twin with another man?

  “Joanna, I should’ve known my brother wouldn’t have the courage to tell you. So I will,” Andrew said.

  “Don’t. Do not say another word. Or I’ll make you regret it.”

  Joanna had never heard Adrian sound so harsh.

  He turned to William, who still cowered by the door. “I never expected to offer you thanks for anything, but I must thank you for bringing me here and for exposing Andrew’s crime.”

  “Don’t thank him. William brought Joanna here in the first place. He thought you were me,” Andrew said. “The only person in this room without a tainted past seems to be the fair Joanna.”

  “What do you mean?” Joanna asked.

  “You obviously don’t know what your brother has done,” Andrew said with a sneer. “But I know that, too. Tell her, William, or I shall. You told on me, ’tis only fair I even the score.”

  William turned a strange shade of red. His eyes darted from side to side. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Of course you do. Where were you the night Lady Anne was killed?”

  “All right. I’ll admit it. I was visiting the stews. As were you,” he said to Andrew. “I saw you there. I thought I’d seen Adrian, but now I know it was you.”

  “And before that?” Andrew pressed, his voice low and encouraging. “What did you do before visiting your whore? Do tell.”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “Your whereabouts will make a big difference to Adrian.” He turned to face his brother. “I cannot atone for my sins, or convince you not to share what you now know. But please accept this small gift I give you.” He glared at William. “Tell, or I will,” he repeated.

  “I’ve gambled enough to know when a man is bluffing,” William retorted. “You’ve got nothing on me. And I’ve nothing to say.”

  “Ah, William. Another lie?” Andrew shook his head. “You saw me, but I h
eard you. Even I am surprised that you could gloat about such a thing.”

  “What the hell is going on?” Adrian hissed, echoing Joanna’s thoughts. Tension radiated off him so clearly that Joanna sensed he was but a hair’s breadth from striking both of their brothers.

  William sucked in his breath. “Andrew. You really know?”

  Andrew nodded slowly, a look of supreme satisfaction on his face.

  “How? How?”

  “Remember your friend the whore? The one you had following me? I know now she eventually succeeded in trailing me to what most consider an unsavory but I find highly enjoyable place. When I noticed her slithering behind me, I cut through a tavern and turned in the opposite direction. I happened upon you and heard you singing your tuneful little ditty. A drunken song of victory and murder.” He smiled the most evil smile Joanna had ever seen. “Perhaps God will ease your punishment if you confess before Adrian beats the truth out of you,” Andrew taunted. “You can see that he wants to.”

  William sank to the floor, clearly defeated. “I had no choice. It was her, or my fingers,” he wailed, yanking off his black glove and waving his four-fingered hand. “Don’t you see? They were going to cut off another if I didn’t pay my debts. So when they asked me to kill the old lady in exchange for the money I owed, I did.”

  “You killed Lady Anne,” Adrian said.

  Joanna gasped. “And you let Adrian go to prison for your crime? You wanted him to.”

  William hung his head. Not from remorse, Joanna was sure, but because he’d been caught.

  “Now I understand. With me in prison, you thought you could gain control of Joanna’s workshop,” Adrian said. “But you failed.”

  “Aye,” William whispered. “One thing led to another. Each step along the way, I managed to convince myself I was doing what had to be done. Then there was no way out. Kill her or lose more fingers.” He replaced his glove and looked at Adrian and Joanna, his gaze pleading for them to understand. “Have you never faced a difficult choice? What would you have done? I was trapped.”