Invisible Future

by Lindsey Anderle

  I heard my text tone go off, loud and clear. Lane looked up, surprise on his face, and stood up.

  “I’m not sure what happened. But I needed to know that you were okay.” He took a hesitant step toward me but stopped. He looked sad in a way I had never seen. As if I had let him down in such a way that had never happened to him before. I was screwing up more than just myself here.

  I sat down on the couch, silent. I could hardly think right now.

  Lane sat down next to me, but not too closely, as if he wasn’t sure I would want him closer. I did, God knows I did, but at the same time I couldn’t bear anybody close to me right now.

  “I don’t know where to start. And until I can figure that out, I can’t really talk about it.” I couldn’t even look at Lane while I spoke.

  How do I explain to him that I’m hearing voices? Seeing things nobody else can see? Having dreams that make me feel like I know nothing about my life?

  I felt Lane take my hand gently. “Abby. I don’t need to know. Not if you’re not ready to tell. I’m just here for you. However you need me to be.”

  Feeling tears in my eyes again, I took a shaky breath, inhaling deeply. “Thank you. That’s more than I could ask for.”

  I would tell him. Eventually. Okay, maybe not. I couldn’t bear to have him disappear on me. Even with knowing Lane only a short time, he seemed to have become a fixture in my life. Having a constant in my life had become a lifeline for me.

  We just sat there in silence for a while, Lane holding my hand. I had calmed down and wasn’t crying anymore.

  “I don’t know about you two, but I could use a drink!” Whitney said, barging into the living room.

  I laughed. “Whitney, it’s barely noon.”

  “Hey,” she said, “if it’s after noon, then it’s okay for a drink! What do you say, Lane? You down? Your brother can join too, if he wants.”

  Lane looked at me, as if asking for permission. I smiled at him. I didn’t care what we did, but I didn’t want Lane to leave yet.

  He smiled back and nodded at Whitney. “I’ll go call him.” He got up and went to the kitchen.

  Whitney came and sat down. “Are you okay? I hope you’re not mad about him being here. He looked so distraught but wouldn’t tell me what happened.”

  I looked to the kitchen to make sure Lane couldn’t hear us. Turning back, I said softly, “I heard my mom.”

  Whitney leaned back. “What do you mean? Like, she called you?”

  I shook my head. “No. Like I heard her. Like she was right next to me or something!”

  “How’s that possible?”

  “I have no idea!” I hissed. “But it happened. We were just sitting there talking and suddenly I hear my mom saying, ‘I love you’!”

  “This is really freaking me out Abigail.”

  “You? How do you think I feel?”

  Whitney nodded. “But you didn’t tell Lane?”

  I shook my head. “How can I? ‘Hey, Lane, I’m hearing voices and seeing things nobody else can see.’ Really? That’s going to make him run for the hills!”

  “Yes, that’s true. Good point.”

  “So, for now, I’m stuck. I can’t let him know. But on the other hand, I don’t know how long I can keep it from him. Maybe I need to be locked away in a hospital.” I sighed.

  “No, no, no.” Whitney rubbed my shoulder. “Don’t think like that. Stay positive. There’s a reason for what’s going on and you going crazy is not it!”

  I smiled at her. “Thank you. You’ve been a good friend through all of this.”

  “That’s what I’m here for.”

  She leaned in for a hug. It felt really good to be held and comforted. I hadn’t realized how much I had needed that until now. I felt safe and secure, two things that I had been lacking lately.

  Lane cleared his throat, and we drew apart. “Kent said he’s down for some day drinking and he’s on his way.”

  Whitney smiled. “Great! I’m going to see what drinks we have in stock.” She left for the kitchen.

  Lane took her seat on the couch, looking at me. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.”

  I seized the moment to be bold. “And what if I want you around for a long time?”

  Lane’s mouth lifted in a half-smile and I felt my heart flutter. “What if I said that was totally fine?”

  I smiled back. “I’d say that’s totally fine with me too.”

  “Good,” Lane said before leaning in to kiss me. He stopped right before our lips met, meeting my eyes to make sure it was okay. I felt our breath mingle and he was so close to me and I couldn’t stand it anymore. The side of his mouth curved up in a smile before leaning in the rest of the way.

  My breath hitched, and I felt my heart speed up. I laced my hands through his hair, holding him to me. I scooted closer, pulling Lane toward me as I did. I felt breathless but never more alive.

  Lane moved one hand to the back of my neck, holding me in place. He trailed kisses down the side of my neck, causing me to shiver. He came back to my mouth, claiming it as his.

  I leaned in closer, my whole body on fire. Lane put his hands on my shoulders, slowing us down. He kissed me again, softly, before pulling back. His eyes were bright, his breathing heavy.

  I stared at him, winded. “Wow,” I whispered.

  Lane grinned. “Definitely a wow.”

  I smiled back. I felt like I could kiss Lane forever. I didn’t care who saw or what they thought.

  I started to lean back in before I caught myself. It was so easy to forget my problems when I was with Lane, but I had to be careful. I couldn’t allow myself to get carried away, not with my problems.

  Sitting back, I moved away from Lane. I noticed him frowning and said quickly, “I’m sure Whitney is about to come back.”

  Lane looked at me but then nodded. “Sure. I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

  I swallowed and looked around, trying to save the situation. “So, any luck on the job front yet?”

  “Job? Oh, no, not yet. Kent and I are just gambling with the fact of trying to find jobs before we run out of money.”

  I frowned. Why did that sound so familiar? Suddenly, I flashed back to the night I met Kent and Lane at the bar. Kent had said the exact same thing to me then. That’s really weird.

  “Oh, really? What kind of work are you hoping to get in to?”

  Lane shrugged. “Well, I used to manage a few stores back home. I guess I was hoping to get into something similar here.”

  “Well, you can always use me as a reference if you need to.”

  Lane smiled. “Well, thanks.”

  Whitney chose that moment to pop back in with Kent. “Look who showed up on our doorstep! The poor thing looked lost, so I let him in.” She playfully patted Kent on the cheek.

  Kent stepped back. “Okay, ha, ha. I heard there was going to be some drinking, so I decided to stop by. Gotta be responsible for my brother and all that.”

  Lane laughed. “Says the guy who climbed into a fountain on a drunken dare! Naked, I might add!”

  Kent’s cheeks turned red while we laughed. Whitney, I had noticed, seemed to be paying more attention now.

  “Yeah, well, at least I didn’t striptease for the whole bar that night!”

  It was my turn to look more interested now. “Striptease? Well, give it a few shots, I may need to see this!”

  Lane’s face turned red. “Let’s not repeat that experience. Nobody needs to see that.”

  Whitney winked at me. “Oh, I can think of someone who needs to see it.”

  “Oh, God, Whitney,” I said, covering my face with my hands.

  I made my way to the kitchen, where Whitney had set up our entire liquor collection. “Okay, we’re definitely set. We just need food now.”

  “No problem! I’ve got pizza on the way.”

  “Yes! Thank you so much for that. I’m actually pretty hungry.”

  “No sweat. I only ask one thing. Please try to fo
rget about what’s going on for a while? I think it’ll do you good.”

  “I think so too, so I’m going to try. No weirdness from me, I promise.” I held up my hand in a Girl Scout salute.

  I knew I needed a day off from thinking about things. They were to the point of overwhelming me, almost driving me crazy. I couldn’t allow myself to get there. I had to stay grounded and go with what I knew was real.

  A while later, we were eating pizza in the living room, exchanging our craziest drunk stories.

  Whitney shook her head, laughing. “Okay, no, that is not what happened! I was dared to go up to one of the bachelorettes and give her a lap dance! The kiss was a freebie!”

  My cheeks were hurting from laughing so much. I looked up and noticed Lane watching me, smiling. “What about you, Abby? Let’s hear it.”

  “Oh, no, I’m a good girl who controls my alcohol intake.”

  Whitney snorted. “Now that’s a damned lie if I ever heard one. I’ve got plenty of stories for you guys,” she said, turning toward them.

  I waved my hands at her. “Okay, okay, okay! I give in. I think my weirdest dare was licking ketchup off someone’s back.”

  Kent grimaced. “Please tell me it was a girl’s back so I’m not so grossed out.”

  I laughed. “It was not, unfortunately. But at least it wasn’t a hairy one!”

  I was having such a good time, I didn’t want it to end. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time. I looked around at the others, my eyes lingering on Lane as he laughed at something Kent said.

  Maybe everything will be okay, I thought. It can’t get worse than this.

  Chapter Four

  I was in the bathroom washing the pizza grease off my hands. After drying them, I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned. Bleh, I thought. I looked awful. Too pale.

  I put on a little bit of blush and ran some mascara over my lashes. A tiny bit of lip gloss and I was done. I hope that’s not too obvious.

  I went to open the door right as Lane was about to walk in.

  “Oh, sorry!” I exclaimed.

  He smiled. “I should be the one apologizing, I almost knocked you down.” He took a moment to look over me, causing my face to heat up. “Looking good, Abby.”

  I tried to take in a breath to steady myself. “Thanks, Lane.”

  He reached up to tuck a strand of hair back behind my ear. “It’s always my pleasure, Abby,” he said gently.

  Boy, did he know how to make my legs go weak. I put a hand to the doorframe to steady myself. “Uh, I should get out of your way then.” I took a step forward, but Lane didn’t move backward.

  I was face-to-face with his chest and I could smell him, a mix of cologne and Lane and it just seemed so right. I inhaled deeply, looking up at him. He was staring down at me with a small smile.

  He lifted his hands to brush my hair back, cupping my face. He leaned down, kissing one corner of my mouth, and then the other corner, before finally reaching the center of my lips where I wanted him most.

  As he did, I gasped, not used to the flames coursing through me as Lane kissed me again. I pulled him toward me, crushing any space that was left between us.

  Lane pushed me back against the doorframe, tugging on my hair to bring my face up to him. He seemed as out of breath as I was. His hands ran down my arms, up my back, over my hips, and I just couldn’t keep it straight anymore.

  His mouth was moving away from mine, and I turned my head, wanting it back. But then he was trailing his kisses down my neck, on my collarbone – and I felt like my bones were melting – to the other side of my neck. Back to my mouth. His lips parted mine and I sighed, never wanting this moment to end.

  But too soon it did, Lane pulling back slowly, giving me time to find my feet again. I was breathing so hard it was embarrassing. Except I couldn’t find it in me to care.

  I leaned my forehead on his chest. “What are you doing to me?” I whispered, my eyes shut.

  I felt more than heard Lane’s laugh. “I could ask you the same.” He kissed the top of my head and stepped back.

  I looked at him. Of course, he didn’t seem affected by that earth-shattering moment at all. Whereas I felt like I had been run over by a truck. In the only good way that could feel.

  “Okay,” I said, smoothing down my shirt, “now I should really get back out there.”

  Lane smiled down at me. “Yes, sure. I’ll be right there soon.” He stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.

  I blew out a breath, leaning forward, hands on my knees. “Wow,” I said. I was convinced. There was never going to be anyone else who could do to me what Lane does.

  I went to the living room and sat down. I picked up my beer and looked up. Whitney and Kent were just sitting and staring. Kent snorted and looked away while Whitney raised her eyebrows at me with a knowing smile.

  “What?” I asked, feeling exposed, like they knew what had just happened.

  Whitney cleared her throat and patted down her hair, widening her eyes at me. I just stared at her, confused. She patted her head again, and I realized she meant for me to copy her. I reached up and felt the bird’s nest that was supposed to be my hair. My cheeks burned as I fixed the mess Lane’s hands had left up there. Whitney was grinning at me and I narrowed my eyes at her.

  “Shut up,” I muttered at them.

  “We didn’t say anything,” Whitney said, grinning at me.

  I glared at her anyways. This was humiliating. Like a walk of shame humiliating.

  Lane chose that moment to come back out, sitting down by me. He looked at each of us before asking, “Okay, what did I miss?”

  Whitney grinned. “Oh, it doesn’t look like you missed anything.”

  “Oh my God, Whitney,” I whispered, covering my face with my hands. “You’re the worst.”

  Whitney laughed. “Oh, come on! I’m just teasing! It was too easy.”

  I looked at Lane, who was actually blushing now. It made me feel a little better to know he could be affected, too.

  Lane stood up. “Okay. Enough fun at our expense.” He turned to me. “Want to get out of here?”

  I nodded. “Definitely.” I stood up and got my purse from my room.

  Whitney gave me a little wave as we left, and I shook my head at her. She always knew just what buttons to push.

  After getting into Lane’s car, he looked over and asked, “Now what? Do you want to grab some dinner?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not really hungry right now.” I looked around outside. “How about we go to the park?”

  Lane shrugged. “Sure. Sounds good.” He turned the car and started driving.

  I let my mind wander as I watched our surroundings flash by. This had been a really great day for me. Okay, minus the freak out this morning. It made me realize how great my friends were. Even though Whitney was the only one who knew my secret. Which made me feel kind of guilty for not telling Lane. I just didn’t know how to tell without scaring him off. I needed him.

  As if he could sense my tumultuous thoughts, Lane glanced at me and reached for my hand to hold. He brought it to his lips, brushing them over my knuckles.

  I blushed again, wondering if that reaction was ever going to get under control.

  “We’re here,” Lane said, pulling into a parking spot.

  I got out, looking around. There were a few walking trails with benches spaced out. I saw families out on the playground watching their kids race around the equipment, tagging each other before turning and dashing away.

  The sun was still high in the sky, with only a few clouds for cover from its heat. I swatted away some flies as I went to the front of the car where Lane waited for me.

  “Lead the way,” he said, gesturing to the paths that disappeared into the trees.

  I smiled at him and started walking. As I did, I felt Lane move up beside me. Moving into the shade, I felt calmer than I had in days.

  “You know, I always loved this place as a kid,” I said. “I could be
whatever I wanted on that playground. A pirate on a ship, a princess locked in a tower. It was all so simple back then. Find the treasure, rescue the girl. And then it was over.”

  Lane looked down at me. “And now what? Are you still in need of rescue?”

  I glanced down at the sidewalk we were following. “Maybe. I thought I was okay. Everything was great. And then I realized it might not be that simple.”

  “I bet it could be that simple. You’ve got people around you that care about you and want to help you.” Lane took up my hand and laced our fingers together, holding me tightly. “I’m here, too. And I care about you.”

  He stopped walking and pulled me to him. “Do you trust me? That I would never hurt you?”

  I nodded at him. “I do. But I’m afraid of you leaving me, too.”

  Lane’s face softened, and he stroked my cheek with his free hand. “I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to. Which I don’t, by the way,” he added hastily.

  I laughed and wiped at my eyes, where tears were threatening to fall. “You might. I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask you to stay once you know everything.”

  It was time. Time to face my fears head on. I couldn’t keep running away. That wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t a coward.

  I steered us to a bench that was set back in a canopy of trees. I sat down and Lane followed.

  I looked straight ahead as I spoke, worried to see how he would react. “It’s hard to speak of. It sounds insane. And I’ll understand if it’s too much for you to handle.”

  I took a deep breath, my fingers fidgeting together. “I saw something in the manuscript I’m currently reading for work. Something impossible. Because nobody else can see it.”

  Lane stiffened up but didn’t say anything.

  “It was a note,” I continued, “saying I’ve been in a coma for five years and I needed to wake up. I showed it to my boss and to Whitney and neither of them can see it. And then I’ve been having strange dreams that make me wonder if it could be true. Hearing things that make me feel like I’m going crazy. Because nobody else can see or hear them.”

  I looked at Lane in desperation. “Do you understand now? Why I ran away this morning? I heard my mom’s voice clear as day as if she was right next to me. There’s something wrong with me and I don’t know how to fix it.” My voice started cracking as I broke down crying.