Passage (Akasha Book 1)

by Indie Gantz

  “I- We can’t,” John struggles. The words come out incredibly strained. He’s fighting against them. “This is too dangerous. We... can’t be... here.” He’s almost spitting the words in my face, his hand still gripping me tightly.

  “John?!” I cry, trying to pry my father’s hand off of me. “What’s wrong?”

  We need to go back.

  I look over my shoulder at Tirigan, whose eyes are not nearly as wild as I feel they should be upon looking at the scene in front of him. My father’s fingernails are digging into my skin, breaking the surface.

  “Tirigan, what-”

  He’s going to break your arm. Step backwards and he will follow.

  Blood begins to run down my arm as John’s fingers somehow tighten even more. I try to pull away from him, pushing myself further into the forest, but he’s too strong. My father is almost screaming now, begging us to turn around.

  John fights against me until he feels me pulling him backwards, instead of further into the forest. He lets me unwrap his fingers from my arm, and I place my uninjured arm around his waist to guide him. John grimaces, but allows me to walk us back in the direction of the cliff, murmuring about the danger behind us.

  It only takes a few moments, and several šēpusi, before my father snaps out of his mental nightmare. He slides out of my hold with an embarrassed look on his face.

  “It’s better now,” he says quietly. “I can still...” He trails off and looks behind himself, through the forest. “But, it’s better.” John looks at me out of the side of his eye and gives me half smile. “I tried to fight it. I should have known.”

  “Known what?” I ask, cringing as I inspect the half-moon marks dug deep into my bicep. “What just happened?”

  John’s eyes widen with remorse when he looks at my arm. Finger shaped bruises begin to sprout up around each bloody line. He reaches out, and tries to soothe the wounds.

  “I-I’m so sorry. I was completely out of my mind. I didn’t know…I didn’t mean to…” His voice is so defeated, full of sadness and regret.

  “It’s fine,” I try to convince him, smiling kindly. “Look,” I point out as the bruises begin to fade slightly. “I’ve got superpowers.” I try to look as though my arm doesn’t feel like it was just attacked by a feral feline. John doesn’t look convinced.

  We’re quiet for a few long moments, me hoping that we can move past the assault quickly, Tirigan stewing about something I’m sure to hear about soon, and John staring off into the forest.

  “There’s something I didn’t tell you about the barrier,” John says carefully. He looks between us, another apology written on his face. I take a nervous gulp.

  Obviously. Tirigan has his arms folded over his chest and looks at our father as if he is some kind of inconvenience. I don’t like it.

  “When your mother and I first started exploring this jungle together, we each tried to pass into the other’s land.” John’s eyes focus on the forest behind me, clearly avoiding my gaze. “Unfortunately, whatever kind of invocation is used to put the barrier in place, also makes sure anyone who shouldn’t pass through it doesn’t even get close.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “The last time I went through those trees,” John explains, “I only got about ten šēpusi inside before my mind started to scream at me to turn back.” He steps towards me and places a hand on my good arm. “I was hoping to get a little farther this time.”

  Absurdity. He shouldn’t have-

  Shut up.

  Now is not the time for one of Tirigan’s lectures.

  “You’re saying the barrier causes some sort of paranoia to anyone who gets close and can’t pass through it?” I clarify.

  “Yes, that’s exactly what it feels likes.” John nods, dropping his hand. “I know there’s nothing to be frightened of, but I can’t use that knowledge to settle myself. The first time, it felt like my heart was going to explode out of fear. Calla tried to calm me down, but I think I must have blacked out from terror because I don’t remember much of what happened after I started screaming at her to let me go. The next thing I knew, I was lying next to the edge of the cliff, and Calla was stroking her hand through my hair.” There’s a look on John’s face, a soft fondness that’s reserved for Calla alone. Seeing it right now is like a dagger to the heart.

  Why did he torture himself like that? We should have said our goodbyes at the forest’s edge, Tirigan argues. He has a point.

  “What kind of goodbye would we have had if the whole time you’re trying to take my arm off?” I ask with a smile, trying my hardest to keep the moment far lighter than it deserved to be.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through. I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. I’m all right now.” He turns to look at us both. “We should probably part here, no point in wasting more of your time.”

  I want to argue that this isn’t a waste of time, that any amount of time spent not leaving John is time well spent. But I don’t. Instead, I nod and avoid looking into his eyes.

  John places the bags he’s been carrying for us on the ground next to him and then pulls me into his arms. I melt into his body, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as possible and burying my head into his chest.

  “You are going to be fine,” he whispers above me. “You are both going to be fine. Do as your mother said. Study hard and practice. Keep your heads down and don’t draw attention to yourselves.”

  “What about you?” I mumble into his chest. “What will you do? Aren’t you in danger now too?”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He kisses the side of my head, then the top, before he squeezes me tighter, a signal that we’re about to let go. I don’t want to. I want to stay in my father’s arms and pretend my life makes sense again. Except, I’m not the only one John needs to say goodbye to, and I can’t be selfish.

  When he lessens his hold on me, I unwrap myself from him, and step out of his arms.

  “I’ll miss you,” I say simply, because there are no words for everything I want to tell him, everything I want him to know. He’s my father. My friend. My teacher and my confidant. Leaving him is impossible, and yet…

  “We should set a time to meet back here, when you can,” John says, pushing my hair out of my face and behind my ear. “Perhaps the next solstice, or the one after that if you can’t make it here by then.”

  “We will,” I say nodding, holding back tears. “Maybe we can figure out a way to send each other messages too,” I suggest, shrugging.

  “I don’t know,” John replies. “Calla talked about a way to communicate using stones, but I think that is just between Téssera. We may have to wait until we see each other again.”

  “We’ll figure something out, Tirigan and I,” I insist, shaking my head in disagreement. “We’ll find a way.”

  I turn back to my brother, who’s staring at my father with an expression similar to the one he wore when we found out who we really are. His earlier irritation has slipped away and now he just looks scared. My brother can think logically, make big plans and hard decisions, but when it comes down to executing them, his limitations make themselves known.

  “Tirigan,” John says slowly, stepping closer to my twin. “You can do this. Focus on your goal, and you’ll be fine.” My father reaches a hand up, as if to run it through Tirigan’s hair, but pulls it back briskly at the last second.

  Tirigan steps closer to John hesitantly, like the pressure of his weight on the ground might set off an explosion. John stands still, clearly unsure of what’s about to happen, but there’s hope in his eyes. Tirigan keeps moving forward slowly. I’m confused by his actions all the way until my brother steps awkwardly into John’s body and lays his head on our father’s shoulder.

  I clamp my hand over my mouth to stifle my gasp. Tirigan hasn’t hugged anyone since he was a very small boy, even me. John’s eyes go wide. His mouth drops open. He’s just as
flabbergasted by the gesture as I am, but it only takes him a second to catch up to the moment. He quickly wraps his arms around his son and returns the gesture.

  I watch them with tears in my eyes, joy and sadness clashing into one hurricane of emotion. And just when I think I’ve got a handle on the moment, and a smile is pulling my lips up, Tirigan shocks me again.

  He speaks.

  His voice is very raspy, and is higher pitched than the one I hear in my head. I don’t even recognize it at first. It takes me a second to even realize it’s him, then another moment to understand the words he has chosen to speak.

  “Thank you.”

  There are tears falling into Tirigan’s hair now. I look up to my father, who’s struggling to hold it together. Tirigan doesn’t always handle extreme emotions well. John is doing his best to control himself, but I don’t even try.

  “Tirigan,” I say between my own quiet sobs. “You... You spoke.”

  Yes. I am aware. His voice in my head startles me at first, but my sob quickly turns into a laugh. Without thinking it through, I push myself forward and hug them both, not even realizing I may be pushing Tirigan too far until I feel him tense up under my arms.

  “Oh-” I’m sorry, I-

  It’s all right. The circumstances call for it. I allow myself to relax a little at his response, and then hug my father and brother thoroughly.

  This is it. This is the last time we will all be together for at least six months, maybe even longer, and now Tirigan has hugged John and spoken for the first time. It feels like we’ve stepped into a new world together, the three of us, and now Tirigan and I have to run away from it, leaving John behind.

  Tirigan pulls away first, and John and I both release our hold on him immediately.

  “You’re welcome,” John finally says, looking down at Tirigan. “And... And thank you.” He turns to me too and smiles. “Thank you both for letting me be your father. You’ve already taught me so much, but I can’t wait to learn everything you have to tell me the next time we meet.” The way he says it, so casually like we’re merely going on vacation, is something I will always be grateful to him for.

  That’s how I’ll get through this next part. I’ll pretend it isn’t as bad as it is. I’ll pretend we’re just going on an adventure and when we’re through, all four of us will sit on the roof of our trailer and trade stories.

  “Looking forward to it,” I say back, forcefully returning his smile.

  Tirigan nods, and then places his hand over his heart, his silent signal of affection to our parents. John returns it and then tips his chin in the direction we’re to go.

  “You should really get going now, you don’t have much time,” John says, his voice full of fabricated strength. “Remember, find Kori Lark and then go from there. Okay?”

  “Right. We’ve got it,” I say back more confidently than I feel. I look over my shoulder and into the forest. “I guess we should...”

  “Yes,” John replies, then, after a breath, “I love you both. Very much.”

  “I love you too,” I reply and then look at Tirigan, who nods in response. “We both do.”

  John smiles and places a hand on each of our shoulders. “Go on. We’ll see each other again before you know it.”

  Not ready to turn away yet, I keep my eyes on my father. I study the lines of his face and the shape of his eyes. The way his upper lip curves upward slightly and the subtle arch of his brow. I commit it all to memory. John seems to know what I’m doing, because he stays very still. But after a few moments, he takes a step back.

  “I guess it’ll have to be me,” He says quietly, as he steps backward once more. “Be safe.”

  There’s a small smile on John’s lips, but no more tears in his eyes. He moves back another step and gives us a small wave. Then, our father turns around and walks away.

  ◆◆◆

  “So, does this mean I’ll get to hear your voice from time to time now?” I ask, trying to keep my mind off our tremendous loss.

  Perhaps.

  What do you mean, perhaps? I mean, it’s obvious you know how, so-

  I understand it’s difficult for you to understand, given how differently our minds work, but I suspect I’ve been physically capable of speaking for some time now. I just saw no need to test the theory until now.

  What changed?

  Tirigan sighs beside me. We both step around a wide stump in the middle of our path as we continue into the forest without our father. There’s one of those signs John mentioned nailed into a tree trunk nearby, with amateur drawings colored over the warning. The marks have faded, but I can make out flowers where the eyes of the drawn monster should be and smiley faces all over the text telling us to Beware!

  It occurred to me last night that I am going to have to speak while we are looking for Calla. A man who doesn’t speak at all will draw more attention than one who is just of few words.

  “So...” I narrow my eyes at him and try my best to understand. “You’re saying you just woke up this morning and decided to talk? Just like that?”

  No. Not just like that. As you can see, I still prefer to communicate this way.

  “Right, well...” How is it different? If you know how to speak with your mouth, why do only speak with your mind?

  Tirigan shrugs. Comfort, I suppose. I realize it is unlikely for me to get away with not speaking at all in our upcoming travels, and I feel speaking with my mind would be too intimate to do with a stranger, even if I could manage it.

  That makes sense.

  And it should have been John.

  “What?” I’m momentarily distracted by a strange buzzing sensation under my skin. It isn’t comfortable. I pull my arms close to my chest.

  The first person I spoke to, I didn’t want it to be a stranger. John deserved that milestone. Calla too, if she were here. The physical embrace was also something I wanted to experience before saying goodbye and I knew I could trust John to react correctly.

  “Right.” I say absently, looking around us and feeling uneasy. We’ve been walking for a while now, the forest mostly quiet except for the sounds of the small animals that inhabit it. “Um, do you feel something kind of... off?”

  What? What do you- Tirigan cuts off his own thought. He stops walking. His eyes move around the forest then down his own body. Hm.

  “Yeah,” I respond quietly, turning around and looking behind us. “What is that?”

  It feels like the air pressure around my body has increased slightly, like there’s more weight pushing against my body. My stomach clenches up tight, and my skin prickles.

  It is... unpleasant. Tirigan continues to look around us suspiciously, eyes landing on a rodent as it scurries up a nearby tree. But not intolerable.

  “No, not intolerable,” I echo, moving my feet again but walking at a slower pace. “Do you think it’s the barrier?”

  Tirigan thinks for a moment before replying. Could be. We do have Anunnaki blood. It’s possible the barrier will react to it in some way.

  “What if we can’t get through?” I ask, mostly to myself because I know Tirigan can’t really answer the question for me. I then remember that Calla was able to get through the other barrier with elemental blood in her system. She just needed the Anunnaki blood, our blood, to get her through. This feeling may be a side effect of having both.

  Let’s just keep going. According to what John said, we should be approaching the barrier soon.

  I wonder how we’ll know when we’ve gone through it.

  We didn’t realize we’d gone through the elemental barrier when we left Anunnaki land. It’s possible we won’t realize it here either.

  But we were leaving, going into no-man’s land. This is different. Now we are entering. Tirigan gives a noncommittal shrug at my response.

  We keep walking on in silence. Uneasiness pushes more aggressively against my mind, but it’s still nothing like what my father experienced.

  After five more minutes of walking, some
thing in the air changes abruptly. The hair on my arms goes up straight, and my stomach floats up into my throat, and then back down with a quick swoop. Tirigan stops walking. He breathes heavily beside me.

  The trees ahead of us have taken on a shimmery luster, something I hadn’t noticed while we approached, but now seems blatantly obvious. The feeling that keeps telling me to go back, that this is all a very bad idea, pushes more heavily on my mind. I ignore it and concentrate on the way the air seems to sparkle just ahead of us. It’s like someone has ground a million hematite stones into dust and thrown the powder down onto us from the tree tops.

  This has to be it.

  Tirigan nods and reaches a hand out, taking a few steps forward so he can touch the wall of sparkling air. Something in me seizes as he gets closer, and I have to fight the urge to pull him back.

  Closing my eyes, I move forward as well. When I open them back up, Tirigan’s arm is gone. Not gone altogether, but invisible on the other side of the barrier. Hopefully.

  He throws me a nervous look, and then pushes himself all the way through, disappearing before my eyes just as my hand makes contact with the barrier. It feels cool, almost like a soft stream of water. There’s a voice in my head screaming at me to pull back, but I push forward instead. I take a deep breath and step through the barrier, keeping my eyes open, despite the sensation of being plunged into water as I walk through.

  The first thing I see on the other side is Tirigan, smiling softly at me.

  Success.

  I smile back and nod. “Yep.” I reply, turning back to look at the forest through the barrier again. “Go us.”

  I can still see everything as if the barrier wasn’t there, and everything on Mitéra’s side of the barrier looks the same as it did through the barrier. The veil must only make people invisible, rather than the land itself.

  As I take a look around, I have a strange sensation of being watched, like maybe someone saw us crossing the barrier. I can’t find anything suspicious though, the forest looks just like it did from the Anunnaki side. Rows of trees and signs of wildlife, but otherwise, it’s all pretty boring.