POSSESSION

by Jaimie Roberts

  “As I said, it’s complicated.”

  He nods. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

  “He wants me to be his. I like him and all, but he’s too much. It’s like being without him isn’t even an option for me.”

  Chris frowns, a scowl forming on his face. “Sounds dangerous. I would leave him if I were you. Do you know how many women fall victim to domestic violence from controlling men like that? He may seem only controlling at first, but this could just be the beginning.”

  Frowning, I shake my head. “I don’t know. He hasn’t hit me in all the years I’ve known him so far.”

  He hisses in a breath. “Yes, but how long will that last?”

  I sit there, blinking a few times. Could Drake hit me? Yes, of course he could. I’ve seen the anger inside of him. But would he actually take it out on me?

  I’m so engrossed in thinking about it all that I fail to feel fingers on my hand at first. It is only when he speaks that it registers that he’s stroking me, and not only that, but he seems a little too close for comfort. “You should be cherished. Not treated like an object.”

  For some reason, I don’t feel all too comfortable with this guy anymore. I move my hand away and offer him half a smile. “Sorry. Was that too much?”

  I nod my head. “I don’t even know you.”

  “But you could get to know me,” he urges with a bright smile. “I’d promise to treat you better than that fucknugget.”

  A rush of anger rushes through me. I don’t know why I feel compelled to stick up for Drake, but the feeling comes nonetheless. “You don’t know anything about our situation.”

  Chris is about to speak, but something he sees out of the corner of his eye stops him. He moves away, and at first, I’m grateful for the distance. But then, I notice him squaring his shoulders like he’s getting ready for a fight.

  “Evelyn, get your arse up now and get in the car. Don’t make me tell you again.” The hairs rise on the back of my neck at the sound of his voice. He is monumentally pissed.

  “Ah. So, you’re the fucknugget.”

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head. Chris obviously doesn’t know who Drake is and has just made his worst mistake ever.

  “Evelyn,” Drake urges again, “get the fuck out of this bar before I drag you out.” I don’t hesitate. I pick up my phone and bag from the bar and start moving.

  “Hey! You don’t have to go anywhere,” Chris shouts. “Sit down, Evelyn.”

  I hastily shake my head and watch as Drake pokes Chris’ chest. “Outside. Now.”

  Chris smirks. “With pleasure. After I beat your arse, I’m taking your woman home with me. How would you like that?”

  Shit, I wish he would stop talking. He’s obviously more drunk than I thought if he thinks he can take on Drake. I can see the rise and fall of Drake’s shoulders and chest. He’s madder than hell.

  As we step outside, Drake points to the back passenger seat of his Bentley. “In,” he demands.

  “But what about my car?”

  With gritted teeth, he comes close to my face. “Am I speaking a different fucking language?”

  I rear back and hastily get in the car. As I turn, I see Chris shaking his head. “Can’t face me head on, huh? You have to get your minions to come and help you fight me.” He then waves at me in the car. “Don’t worry, darling. This will all be over in a—”

  He doesn’t have time to finish his sentence. With one bone cracking punch from Drake, Chris goes down. When Drake is satisfied that he won’t come back up again, he moves over to the other passenger side. “You three take her car and follow us,” I hear him shout.

  Nodding their heads, they get in my car, and Drake joins me in his. “Drive,” he orders without another word.

  The driver obliges, and we are quickly on our way home. Drake doesn’t say anything for a while. I can tell he’s pissed as hell and trying to rein himself in. I know that monster inside of him is just itching to get out.

  After an agonising few minutes, Drake decides to speak. “Why?”

  I sigh before replying. “I wanted to get away for a while. Somewhere where nobody knows me and knows I belong to you. I wanted some space.”

  Finally, he turns his head to me. I can see the fire in his eyes. It should scare me, but it doesn’t. “And that involved going to a bar and having some arsehole drool all over you and call me fucking names?!” He shouts the last word and it makes me jump.

  “I didn’t invite him to talk to me. He just appeared and started asking me questions. I didn’t want him there. I just wanted some space.”

  Sliding over to me, Drake grabs my chin and pulls my head to him. “When is it going to get into that head of yours that you belong to me, and what I fucking say goes?”

  I should feel fear, but all I feel is anger. Hot, red anger. “Why is it so necessary to own me? Why not some other girl? Why me? I can’t do anything without your say so.”

  He squeezes harder and gets closer to my face. “Damn fucking right too. In less than four months, you will be in my home, doing everything that I fucking say.”

  I try shaking my head, but he holds it still. I can feel the tears brimming at his words. I know what he says is true. I know I can’t escape him. But I can’t help wanting to fight him at every turn. “You were wrong about not being a monster. You are a monster.”

  I see when those words hit home. He doesn’t like that I’ve said this. “You may think I’m a monster, but I’m your monster. Can’t you get that through your head?”

  “No. I hate you. You’re a vile, despicable monster, and I hate you,” I seethe. I’m rattling his cage, and yet I can’t seem to help myself. I’m so pent up with frustration, rage, and pity. Yes, pity—for myself and this shitty position I’ve been borne into.

  “You want to see how much of a monster I can be? Do you?” In one quick yank of my legs he has me beneath him and crushes his lips to mine. “Do you want to push me, Evelyn? Do you want to see just how fucking monstrous I can be?”

  He starts sliding my skirt up and yanking at my panties. “No!” I scream. “No, Drake. Stop. Please stop!” He doesn’t listen. With his other free hand, he places it over my mouth and tries to pull my panties down. Flailing my arms and legs about, I try hard to get free, but he’s too strong. In my fight, I somehow manage to grab his hand and bite down hard on him. I hear when he screams, and finally, he’s off me.

  “Stop the fucking car!” he orders.

  The driver doesn’t hesitate. With a screech of his tyres, he comes to an abrupt halt at the side of a deserted road. No one is around. All I can see are trees around us and black … nothing but black.

  Maybe if I run inside, the black would surround me and take me away from him.

  With a violent tug on the door handle, Drake gets out, punches the car, and roars his frustration. He starts pacing as he threads his hands through his hair.

  “Is everything okay?” I hear a voice coming through a walkie talkie. It’s obviously one of the guys in the other car.

  The driver picks it up and says, “Everything’s okay. Just give him a few minutes.”

  “Understood.” I hear the click and look out at Drake again. I’ve never seen him so mad.

  “Are you okay?”

  Snapping my head to the driver, I feel a tear run down my face. I only just now notice that he’s the cute guy from the cinema the other day. I nod my head. “I’m fine.” He hands me a tissue. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “What’s your name?”

  “Kane, ma’am.”

  I dab my eyes with the tissue he gave me. “I noticed you at the cinema the other day. You’re new.”

  I see him smile in through the visor. It’s a nice smile. “That was my first day on the job.”

  Nodding my head, I turn my attention back to Drake outside. He’s leaning on the boot, smoking a cigarette. He must be really stressed as I hardly ever see him smoke … if at all.

  Seeing him stan
ding there—looking so angry—should make me angry too. He just attacked me in the back of the car in front of his new driver. But why is it that I feel I want to go to him? Why is it that I feel I need his forgiveness? I should need him to ask for mine instead, but I don’t. None of my emotions make sense. I should want to run, but all I feel is this overwhelming desire to get out of the car and go to him.

  And that’s what I do. Slowly, I creep out of the car and walk over to where he’s leaning on the boot. He acknowledges I’m there, but doesn’t say anything. I walk forward, placing my arm through his, needing him to hold me. He stands as still as a statue at first, just smoking his cigarette. It’s not enough. I need him to hold me. I need him to wrap his arms around me and give me his acceptance. Yes, he is a monster, and yes I should be running. The only thing that’s stopping me from really fleeing from him is the fact that he’s the only man who has ever really taken care of me. He’s the only man who has shown me any love. I need to know he still feels it. I need to know he still has it in him to love me.

  So, I grip tighter to him and snuggle my head into his chest. It works because, pretty soon, he discards his cigarette and wraps his arms around me in a warm embrace. I know when I think of what he’s done later on, I will hate myself. But for now, I just want to feel his tenderness.

  “You drive me fucking crazy,” he finally says, kissing the top of my head.

  “Did I hurt your hand?”

  “Yes.”

  I can’t help the impish smile that forms. “Good.”

  Pulling me away, he holds my head in his hands. “Don’t ever do that to me again. You got me to stop just then, but I can’t guarantee what will happen if you push me like that again.”

  I search his dark eyes and nod. “I understand.”

  “Do you?” he urges. “I don’t think you do … and it’s probably just as well.”

  I frown. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just don’t fucking run from me like that again. I won’t be held responsible.” Placing his forehead on mine, he sighs. “Fourteen weeks. Fourteen fucking weeks.” Pulling my head closer, he kisses me again, but this time it’s not out of anger or frustration. This kiss is the kiss I have yearned for ever since that day in the cinema two weeks ago. It’s the kiss I’ve been dreaming about getting every day since he swept me away. I can taste the cigarette on his breath, but instead of being repelled by it, I yearn for more.

  “I can’t lose control around you,” he says, pulling away. “You make it so fucking hard.” He shakes his head. “I’m trying to keep away, but the closer it gets, the less control I have.”

  Throwing my arms around his, I stand on tiptoe and kiss his neck. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

  He grabs my arms and pulls me away from him. “I just told you I’m losing control, and now you want to stay with me?” He shakes his head again.

  “I just thought that—”

  “No,” he warns. “As much as I don’t fucking like it, I’m taking you back to your parents’ house.” He then pushes himself off the boot of the car and motions for me to get in.

  This time, I willingly oblige without a murmur.

  Age Fourteen

  “Have you seen those men at your house since?”

  I lick my ice cream, staring across at Drake. He looks handsome today with a casual pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Others have noticed it too. I see women looking at him, and for some reason, I don’t like it.

  “No,” I answer. In fact, it’s been nice and quiet since that incident a few months ago. “Do you know who they are?”

  Slouching back in his seat, he sighs. “Unfortunately, yes.”

  “Who are they?”

  “That doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t want to know who they are. Now, finish your ice cream. That’s all you should be concerned about.”

  I suddenly get angry. “I’m not a child.”

  “Oh, yes, you are. Despite the fact that you look older than you are, your age doesn’t lie. Believe me, I remind myself of your age every day.”

  I frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Just eat. I have a surprise for you once you’re done.”

  My eyes light up, making him smile. “Really? What is it?”

  “Finish your ice cream and I’ll take you.”

  I bite my lip, trying to suppress my smile. It makes Drake laugh. I like making him laugh. “Okay,” I answer, relishing my ice cream. I’m suddenly raring to get going.

  Once done, he leads me to his waiting car and we both get in the back seats together. It’s on the journey that I start thinking about Drake. He’s been a constant in my life for almost two years now, and for some reason, he likes spending time and money on me. It makes me wonder.

  “Drake?”

  “Yes,” he responds, giving me his undivided attention.

  “Do you like spending time with me?”

  He laughs again. “Of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. What’s brought this on?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s just… I would have thought you would be more interested in spending time with my mum and dad, but it feels like you spend more time with me.”

  I see a little bit of panic in his eyes. “Do you not want to spend time with me?”

  Jumping up straighter, I shake my head. “Oh, no, no… That’s not what I meant. I love spending time with you. In fact, I think I would be really sad if you stopped coming to visit me.”

  “Really?” he asks. “So, you wouldn’t like it if I left?”

  Now it’s my turn to panic. “You’re not leaving, are you?”

  He laughs. “Never. Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from you if that’s what you wanted.”

  “So, you’ll promise me you’ll never leave me? You promise I will always be close to you?”

  Taking my hand, he squeezes it a little. “Of course I promise. Anything for you, Evelyn.”

  “So, you like me then?”

  Shaking his head, he frowns. “You’re full of questions today, aren’t you? Why do you ask?”

  I look away, embarrassed. “Because I’m so young. I worry you’ll get bored of me.”

  Grabbing my chin, he gently pulls me to look at him. “You could never bore me. Besides, you won’t be this young forever.”

  “So, you’ll marry me when I turn eighteen?” He starts laughing—a full belly laugh that turns my insides out. It hurts me that he finds this so amusing. “I’m glad you find this so funny.” I turn my head away in both embarrassment and anger. Why did I have to say something so stupid? It just slipped right out.

  “Evelyn, I didn’t mean—” I turn away more and hear him laugh again.

  “Evelyn, look at me.” When I don’t turn, he unbuckles my seat belt and pulls me into his lap. He cuddles me, and I hate to say it, but he feels warm and nice. He also smells incredible too. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. If you promise me that you’ll call me day or night if those men come over again, then I’ll marry you when you’re eighteen. Deal?”

  With a bright smile he can’t see, I nod my head. “Deal.”

  He squeezes me one last time and then places me back on the seat. “Good,” he says, strapping me back in. “We’re almost there.”

  I feel a certain rejection when he pushes me away from him so suddenly, but when he mentions that we’ll be there soon and I will see my surprise, all my fears melt away. I seem to want acceptance from this man all the time, and I don’t know why. I guess it’s because he’s the only person I have who cares for me.

  “Ah. We’re here now.”

  I see the gates to his house open. “The surprise is in your house?”

  He turns with a gleam in his eyes. “Well, not exactly in my house, but close to it.”

  I frown, wondering what he means, but I find out soon enough once I’m out the car and being led to the back of his house. I see in the distance that something new has been built. “You ha
ve stables?” I ask excitedly.

  Drake nods his head. “Yes, but that’s not the best part.” He motions for me to take his hand, and we go running across towards the stables. I can’t help giggling as we run.

  Once we reach the stables, he takes me round to the booths where two horses are being kept. One is dark brown and huge, and the other is not as big but is white with a brown patch on its nose. “They look beautiful.”

  He motions towards the dark brown one. “This one’s Max. He’s my horse.” He strokes Max’s nose, and Max seems to like it. He sniffs around his hand and nibbles a little on his palm. It makes me giggle.

  “And this,” he says, walking in front of the white horse, “is a three-year-old female who hasn’t gotten a name yet.”

  Smiling, I stroke her, loving the way she feels when I do. “Why not?” I ask, running my hand across her neck.

  “Because the person who owns her should name her.” When he doesn’t say anything more, I look at him. “So, what are you going to call her?”

  I shriek, making him laugh. “You bought me a horse?” He nods his head, and I go running into his arms. He starts laughing as I wrap my legs around him and spray kisses all over his face.

  “I take that to mean you like my present?”

  I keep my arms locked around his neck. “Like it?! I love it. Thank you.” Caught up in the moment, I bend down and kiss him on the lips. Immediately, he drops me to the floor, the moment lost.

  “You’re welcome.” He completely pulls away, and I wonder for a moment if I’ve done something wrong, but I have no time to dwell on this. “Do you want to go for a ride with me?”

  My smile returns. “Do I ever?!” I scream.

  He starts laughing again. “Okay, come on. Let’s get you and your horse ready. Do you know what you’re going to call her?”

  Walking up to her, I stroke around her brown patch and notice how much it looks like the map of Ireland. “I think I’ll call her Ireland.”

  “Ireland?” he asks with a frown.

  “Yeah. Look,” I urge, trailing my finger around her patch.

  He squints, getting a closer look before it dawns on him. “Oh, yeah.” He strokes my hair, making me blush. “Ireland it is, then. I think it’s perfect.”