POSSESSION

by Jaimie Roberts

  “Good morning, Mr Salvatore.”

  “Good morning, Sam.” Without another word, Drake moves us towards the lift and we get in. He pushes a key inside the lock and presses the button for the top floor.

  Once the lift opens, we’re met with a vast lighted hallway with a huge mirror and a vase filled with sunflowers. Beside the vase is one door. Drake puts the key in the lock and pushes through. Once inside, Kane stands by the door and lets us have our privacy.

  Turning, I look around, taking in the huge living room and adjoining dining area. It has all the mod cons of an upscale apartment with its white walls, plush beige carpets, and stunning views of the city outside the balcony doors. As we walk farther in, Drake places the keys somewhere, and I hear the clanking sound. Turning, I find an open-plan kitchen with black granite work surfaces and white cupboards. The place looks beautiful. Frowning, I notice two big manila envelopes next to the set of keys. That’s when I finally turn to Drake. “What’s going on?”

  He waves his hand around the apartment. “This is all yours.”

  My eyes widen. “Mine?” I almost screech. “Drake, I don’t understand.”

  He sighs, closing his eyes, and then I see that jaw tick I’m so used to. He’s either angry or finding something really difficult. I’m guessing that under the circumstances, it’s the latter.

  “When I went away for those few days, it was so that I could think because I needed to figure out what to do next. You see, the moment I met you, I thought I knew my purpose in life, and that was to make you mine at all costs. I didn’t think—or even care—about the consequences because, Evelyn, I’m a selfish man. A ruthless, selfish, despicable man who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. I thought I had a handle on things. I thought I knew my purpose.” He sighs, looking away for a moment.

  “Something’s changed. What is it?”

  Drake looks back at me with a pained expression on his face. “Seeing you strapped up …” He grits his teeth, turning away from me and taking deep breaths as he paces. After a beat, he turns to me. “I always knew that what I did was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. You were all I ever needed … all I ever craved. I knew I would stop at nothing to get my way. But when I saw you that way that night, you made me see all those girls my father had made me …” He looks down, shaking his head. “It’s like a switch was flipped.” He looks back up, and I see the turmoil in his eyes. I almost go over to comfort him, but a part of me realises that this is not what’s he’s after right now, so I stop myself.

  He shakes his head, offering a false smile. “You know how I reasoned with myself? I told myself that I was keeping you safe. I told myself that I was your salvation. I convinced myself that in return for my protection, I was entitled to have you all to myself. But then, what happened with Isaac happened, and I took in what you’d said about the girl I helped.” I frown and he notices, but carries on. “Her name is Bettina. She was the first on my path to finding some sort of redemption for all of the shit I’ve done. She’s a success story. She has a life and is doing well for herself.” He finally looks at me and smiles. “And I want that for you, too.”

  I can’t keep my eyes away from Drake. It’s starting to dawn on me what he’s saying, but I need to hear those words. I need to know if what I’m thinking is right. “You mean all this—” I wave my hands at the apartment.

  “Is the start of your new life.”

  I look back at him confused. “But I thought you—”

  “Were never letting you go?” He shakes his head on a smile again. “Believe me, this is the fucking hardest and most selfless thing I have ever done. A part of me wants to pick you up, drag you back to the house, and force you to stay.”

  “So, why aren’t you then?”

  He sighs, looking defeated. “You must have heard the axiom that if you truly love someone, then you’ll let them go?” I nod my head, noticing a tear falling down my cheek. “This is me letting you go.” He croaks the last word, and it almost makes me fall to my knees. I have hardly any time to take in everything he’s just said when he starts to talk logistics to me.

  “You don’t ever have to worry about Isaac and his men again. I sorted that problem out once and for all. Having said that, because of who you are, I’m not going to take anything for granted. These apartments are the most security tight apartments in the whole of England. Not one burglary … not even an attempted one. The only way into this apartment is through a security guard and a key to both the lift and this door. Cameras are everywhere—even outside on your balcony—so if someone tries to get in, either I or security will know about it.” He walks over to the kitchen counter and picks up the two envelopes. “This envelope contains a college placement for this coming September. I’ve enrolled you in psychology courses, but you can change that if you want to. The other envelope I request you open once I’m gone.” I watch in shock as he walks over to the table and picks up my old handbag. “Here’s your stuff. You have access to your bank account now, and your phone is inside. You also have clothes in the wardrobe and all the toiletries you like in the bathroom. If there is anything else you need, don’t you dare hesitate to contact me. I’m still going to be a big part of your life—there’s no denying that now. But I’m trying to be a better man, Evelyn. I figured this would be a start.”

  With my mouth agape, I watch as he walks up to me and places a tender kiss to my forehead. He lingers there, allowing me to take in his musky scent. I close my eyes and allow myself a moment to surrender to him. I know I’m in shock as I can’t think of what to say or do. I know I should say something, but no words form or leave my mouth.

  “I love you, Evelyn. I know you don’t think that’s true, but it is. I just didn’t show you in the right way, and because of that, I ended up pushing you away. Because of that, I endangered you in the worst way possible. I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done.” He kisses me again, and I feel his warm breath against my temple. “All that I ask is that you take care of yourself for me and allow me to be a part of your lives. I want to be there every step of the way.”

  I frown, not understanding what he means, but soon, he kisses me one more time before moving quickly to the door. He’s out of here so fast that I have no time to react. Instead, I just stand there—for how long, I don’t know—and wonder to myself what in the hell just happened.

  Once my mouth starts drying from keeping it open so long, I finally snap myself out of it. I walk over to the envelopes and pull out the contents with the college details. I should smile. This is all I’ve ever wanted. So why is it that I feel empty and dead inside? Why is it that I feel more alone than ever?

  Placing that envelope down, I pick up the other one and slowly tear it open. Once I pull out the contents, my knees buckle, and I fall to the floor.

  Present Day

  “You should really try these tacos. They’re awesome.”

  My stomach rolls as I watch Mandy eat a taco. For some reason, my stomach has been off lately. I try to eat, but then nausea hits me like a bitch.

  I rub my stomach in discomfort and Mandy notices. “Have you still got this bug? I thought you would be over it by now. How long has it been? Over a week?”

  It’s been three weeks since Drake walked out the door, and I miss him more than anything in the world. For the past week, I have felt constantly sick and constantly tired. I’ve gone off some of my favourite foods, and I feel crabby at times. I’m putting it down to the fact that I can’t get over Drake. I don’t know if this is love I feel, so I’m giving myself a chance to breathe without him. I find at times that my finger hovers over the button of my phone—desperate to call him and ask him to come over. But I know that if I do, I will get lost in him. If I allow myself to get swept up by him again, then what? He’ll take me back to the house and lock me up? I can’t go through that again.

  “Something like that,” I answer, looking over at the envelope. Mandy catches me and stops chewing.

  “Have y
ou signed them?” I shake my head. “Do you want to?”

  I sigh. “I really don’t know.”

  “You’re hesitating for a reason. Is it because you actually love him despite all the shit he’s put you through?”

  “I can’t answer that either. My head won’t stop spinning. Do you know how many times I’ve found myself almost on the phone or at my door, getting ready to go over to him? I don’t know what the fuck this is, but I can’t seem to get him out of my head. I’m trying so that I can think clearly, but he always manages to find a way back in.”

  Suddenly, Mandy starts laughing, so I frown at her. “He’s a clever fucker. I’ll give him that.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Placing her taco down, she wipes her hands before speaking. “Reverse psychology. He’s doing all the things you never expected him to, and now it’s confusing the fuck out of you. He’s either genuinely giving you time, or he’s playing a very shrewd game. My money’s on it being a bit of both. I reckon he’s doing it partly because he knows that this is what you want, but also partly—and this is the biggest part—because he hopes that you’ll realise that you can’t live without him.”

  I had thought of this myself, but hearing Mandy say it out loud makes it sink in even more. Maybe he is playing a very shrewd game. I groan. This is why I know I need more space and time away from him.

  “I know. I think I just need to figure out whether this … I don’t know what to call it … obsession with him is just that or more. Apart from you, he’s all I’ve ever known. He’s the only person who has taken care of me like a lover should, and sometimes, even like a father should. I have to try to separate those feelings out somehow to see how I truly feel.”

  Mandy looks at me for a moment. Her face crinkles like she’s in deep thought. “Okay. I’ll ask you a question to put it into simpler terms.” I nod my head in agreement. “Imagine life without him, and then imagine meeting someone else. Someone who you think can make you happy. Someone who you think will love you unconditionally. Someone who maybe one day you will want to marry and have kids with. Can you imagine that in your head? Can you see that picture?” I try to, but when I do, all I feel is a pang in my stomach. Admitting the truth, I shake my head no. “Well then, that may be your answer. Sometimes, life isn’t about fairytales and finding that perfect someone. There’s no such thing as perfect. We all have our flaws. Drake just seems to have some rather large ones. It’s whether you think you can cope with them or not that matters.”

  “What do you think I should do?”

  She starts laughing. “Don’t ask me that. I can’t tell you what I think you should do. It sounds as though you’ve had that all your life. It’s time to start thinking for yourself.”

  “I know what you’re saying, but a friend’s advice is always welcome.”

  She laughs again. “Only in some situations … when asked.”

  “Well, I’m asking.”

  She sighs and stares ahead for a moment. “I know I used to push you two together back when I thought it was more innocent than it really was. As a friend, I should tell you to run and to run as fast as you can, but then it’s easy for me to say that when I have no romantic feelings involved in this situation. All I can offer are words. You are the only person who can look inside yourself and see how you truly feel. You are the only person who can see whether or not Drake holds a huge piece of your heart. Therefore, my advice is to carry on doing what you’re doing and take time out to see how you really feel. You’ve done well to not call the moment the urge comes. Keep doing that until you are one hundred percent sure whether you can really love him like he’s asking you to.”

  I chuckle a little at that. “At one point, it wouldn’t have been a question. He was always trying to force me into loving him.”

  “But he’s not now. I’m not saying that’s a reason to return to him. I’m just saying it’s a start. And by the sounds of it, that’s one major step he’s made.” She shakes her head on a smile. “Either that or he’s one shrewd, manipulative bastard.”

  We both chuckle, and I watch as she picks up the taco and starts eating again. The spices hit my nostrils, making my stomach roll. I screw up my face, and Mandy notices. She starts laughing. “Anyone would think you were pregnant the way you’re carrying on.”

  Suddenly, I feel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. I had been so busy concentrating on Drake and getting over what had happened to me that I had completely forgotten about the fact that before I was taken, Drake was desperately trying to get me pregnant.

  Heat flushes my skin, and nausea rolls again in my stomach. I vaguely hear Mandy asking what’s wrong when I remember something that was said after Drake rescued me.

  “She and the baby seem fine.”

  Before I know it, I’m rushing to the toilet and hurling up the banana I’d managed to eat half an hour ago. Mandy follows in hot pursuit, rubbing my back as I hurl.

  Once I’m done, she hands me a tissue. “Evelyn, is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt.

  She frowns. “But you told me it was a bug.”

  “I thought it was, but when you mentioned being pregnant just now, I suddenly remembered what I heard the doctor say after Drake rescued me. He said, ‘She and the baby seem fine.’ Oh God, Mandy. What am I going to do?” I start freaking out and hyperventilating.

  Mandy grabs me by the shoulders. “Okay, calm down. We can figure something out. First of all, you need to sit down and breathe.” She leads me out to the sofa in the living room and sits down next to me. “Just close your eyes and breathe.” I do as she asks and try to calm myself. “That’s better.”

  Once I open my eyes, something dawns on me. “Why hasn’t he said anything?” I think back, remembering when he said that he would be in our lives no matter what, but not once did he bring up what we were going to do. How is it that he’s let me go knowing this?

  “Do you think he’s just trying to give you space to get used to the idea?”

  I shake my head. “I really don’t know.” I place my head in my hands. “I just can’t get my head around this. He enrolled me in college knowing that I’m pregnant.”

  “Women can be pregnant and still study, you know. It’s not the end of the world just because you’re having a baby. Which leads me to my next question: Are you going to have this baby?”

  Looking up to her, my expression must be one of shock. I haven’t even gotten round to accepting the fact that I’m pregnant yet—never mind my choice of whether or not to keep the baby. Jeez, what a mess I’m in. What a mess he’s put me in.

  I suddenly realise I have no other choice but to confront Drake about this. That means I have no other choice but to see him. Closing my eyes, I sigh. I was hoping to keep my distance until I was sure, but this news has to be addressed. I need to know why.

  I get up quickly and try to locate my phone. “I need to call Drake about this.”

  “But I thought you said—”

  “I know what I said, but this is huge, Mandy. I can’t ignore this. I need to know why.”

  “Why what?” she asks, shocked.

  “Why he made me pregnant. Why he’s suddenly letting me live my own life. I just don’t get it, and I need answers.” I flip cushions up from the sofa and lift papers and magazines off of the coffee table. Nothing. “Ugh! Where’s my fucking phone?”

  Mandy places a hand on my arm. “Calm your shit. Listen, I’ll ring it, and then we should be able to find it from there.”

  Nodding my head, I watch as Mandy punches in her pin and starts calling. Pretty soon, the sound of “Close” by Nick Jonas starts playing. It’s muffled, so we have to lean forward a bit more to trace where the sound is coming from.

  “It sounds like it’s coming from the sofa,” Mandy says, walking towards it.

  “But I just checked there.”

  She gets on her knees and looks underneath. Before long, she’s pul
ling out my ringing phone. “How did it get there?”

  “You must have dropped it and accidently kicked it under.” She ends the call and hands my phone back to me. “Are you going to call or text?”

  I bite my lip. The coward in me wants to text, but I know he’ll worry if I do. “I think this has to be a phone call.” Mandy nods her head and gives me a sympathetic smile as I dial Drake’s number. On the second ring, he answers.

  “Evelyn, is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine. I just need to speak with you about something. It’s important.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  He hangs up straight away. “He’s coming over.”

  She rubs my arm. “I’d better go then.” She walks over to her taco and starts wrapping it up to take with her. Once she’s gathered her bag, she turns to me. “Call me once you’ve talked?”

  I smile. “Of course.”

  She sighs. “It looks like you’ve got something else on your plate now.”

  “This is huge, Mandy.”

  She nods. “I know.”

  “I’m only eighteen.”

  She nods again. “I know.” She notices my sad expression and nudges my arm. “But hey, look at it this way: When the child is older, you’ll be known as the super hot, young-looking mum who picks her kid up from school.” She starts laughing, which makes me smile. “You decide. It’s whatever you want to do. Having a child is a huge responsibility, but at the same time, you’ll have someone who loves you unconditionally. You can’t ask for better than that.”

  I think on Mandy’s words, and I know what she says is true. I would want nothing more than to have unconditional love in my life after being raised in such a loveless home. I would never want any child to grow up like that—let alone my own child.