More Than Famous (Famous #2)

by Kahlen Aymes

  I wiped at the tears still falling from my eyes." I fucking hate myself that - I can't stop loving him." Another sob broke from my chest and tears squeezed from beneath my closed eyelids.

  She took my hands. "Brook. You are such a strong young woman. So strong. You’ll get through this. You will, because you're you. I know it hurts right now, but that's because you allowed yourself to love so deeply. I'm so proud of the person you've become and the choices you've made."

  I sat up and grabbed another tissue and mopped at my face. "A lot of people are counting on you, honey. This movie means a lot of jobs to a lot of people. It isn't just about you and Cade. It isn't just about this movie, but your future career. Jeanne told me that he probably wouldn't be on set for the first couple of weeks, so that will give you some time to get used to being there and get in the groove without dealing with him."

  "I... I don't know. He always wants to be there early." I was gasping for air, trying to stop the tears. "But, even if he isn't there right away, it's going to hurt being there without him, too. Either way, I'm so screwed."

  I threw the last few shirts on top of the jeans in my suitcase and added some sneakers. I didn't give a crap about what clothes I packed since I wouldn't be going out at all anyway. The doorbell rang; it was Jeanne. She was here with the limo that would take us to LAX for our flight to Vancouver. I ran a hand through my hair as my mom got up to go downstairs.

  "I'll tell Jeanne you'll be down in a few minutes. Wash your face. I know you can do this Brook." She hugged me tight.

  IN VANCOUVER, JEANNE arranged for me to have a different hotel from most of the others. Noah, Gavin and Sarah would be in the same one, but the others, especially Wendy and Cade wouldn't be. My heart tightened. Did I really want them to share the same hotel? I pushed the thought to the back of my head, and told myself it wouldn’t matter anyway.

  I could feel Jeanne’s eyes following me around the room as I got ready for bed and unpacked. I hadn't talked much on the way up here because it was the easiest way to keep it together, to be how everyone expected me to be.

  "What?" I finally asked her as I crawled into my bed.

  She was getting ready to get into hers also. "Brook, do you want to talk about this at all? Are you sure Cade slept with Wendy?"

  I sighed and looked down at my hands. "Yes." I knew my voice was getting thick.

  "I see." I could tell it wasn't what she expected. "Have you talked to him at all?"

  "No." I glanced over at her and threw my script aside. "Look, I found Wendy at his place when I went to surprise him New Year's Eve, okay? She answered the door wrapped in his blanket. It's not too difficult to figure out what she was doing there, is it?"

  She gasped. I hadn't told her what went down.

  "Did you go into the apartment?" she asked quietly.

  I shook my head. “I left right away. I couldn't even function; seeing him in bed with her would only devastate and humiliate me more. I didn't take his calls or texts for a month and finally, he stopped trying. I took the time until the Tokyo premiere to deal before I was able to talk to him, but yes, finally we did talk in February." My heart dropped. "He said it didn't happen."

  "Then... are you sure it did?" Her voice was soothing, yet inquiring.

  "I saw her there, Jeanne. We didn't talk about the details of it. I told him I knew he'd been with her and he denied it. Somehow it got turned around into my not trusting him, rather than his screwing Wendy. It was horrible." I wiped at the tears. "It hurts so much. I've never experienced anything so excruciating."

  "Brook, Cade called me and came to my room in Tokyo. Right after he left you," she confessed. My eyes widened as I sucked in my breath. "I hope you're not mad, but he needed to talk to someone who knows you and the situation."

  It was obvious she really cared for Cade and for me, so I couldn't really be mad at her.

  "I'm not upset, but I really don't want to know what he said." I closed my eyes. "It's all too raw for me and I'm sorry that you've been put in the middle of all of this."

  "Brook, I'm your friend, not just your manager, so I'm going to tell you this." She came over and sat on my bed. "He loves you so much, he's hurting just like you, and he's – angry because you wouldn't talk to him for months, and wouldn't tell him why. He was going out of his mind wondering what happened and was confused that you wouldn't take his calls." She put her arms around my defeated shoulders as I hung my head, the tears raining on my crossed legs. "And then when you wouldn't believe him in Tokyo, he was devastated all over again, but he loves you more than he's mad. He is suffering, Brook, as much as you are."

  "But Jeanne...” I began miserably. “He doesn't know why? Was he there when he screwed her? How the fuck did this get to be my fault? I can't hear that he loves me when he did this!" My voice cracked. "He took all of my love, my heart and soul and just flushed it down the toilet. Like I was nothing!" My voice was trembling as I fought the pain. "He cheated, not me. Please don't ask me to forget that."

  I started to sob, and buried my face in my hands as I lost the fight against it. "I'm so pathetic. I did everything to get over it... I even tried to have sex with David in January, but Cade has fucked me up so bad, I couldn't even kiss him. I'm so disgusted with myself. I couldn't even do it to get even, Jeanne. It made me physically sick."

  She looked at me with sad eyes. "Okay, Brook. Wendy is a snake in the grass. You can't trust her. If you could have heard him, Brook, or seen his face," she paused and her eyes pleaded with me. "Just like you wouldn't let David touch you, Cade wouldn't touch any other woman, honey. I believe him and he wouldn’t risk losing you to be with someone like her. Think about it."

  "I saw his face; I heard his voice in Tokyo. Yes, he was hurting. We both were." I was getting angry now. "So I'm supposed to forget that I saw her there? Cade is a very hot, sensual man, and Wendy has been on the prowl for him for a year. Most men can't resist that kind of shit for very long. Maybe he was drunk, I don't know. I have considered that and I've even forgiven him, but it doesn't change that he still didn't want me in Tokyo." I drew in a painful breath. "Jeanne, can you please just try to understand how I felt when she opened that door? It was like I was punched in the gut. I couldn’t breathe. I died in the moment."

  I froze where I was as I relived it, and felt the tears fall from my eyes silently again. I brushed them off my cheek quickly and got up from the bed. I needed to be alone and to get a grip on myself.

  She looked like she wanted to say something and was searching for the words, but I didn't want to hear it.

  "I just can't talk about it anymore. I know he loves me, but I'm scared to risk my heart again." I shook my head, "Reliving it only makes me weak and I'm struggling. I'm sorry." I paused and saw the sadness in her face. "I'm going to take a bath and go over the scenes that I have to shoot with Noah and Jennifer tomorrow."

  I went to run the bath and try to get lost in the script.

  WE WERE GETTING ready to film a scene in a gym when Aaron encourages Ryan to cheat on Julia. Jesus Christ, my chest hurt, but I almost laughed at the irony of it.

  For once it mattered to me that we were filming out of sequence. My heart constricted as I remembered a conversation Brook and I had during pre-production of the first film about sequence. She’d been so green, she was clueless about the “hows” and “whys” of filming and was concerned she wouldn’t be able to emote appropriately if the scenes were shot out of order and the story was jumbled in her mind. I understood where she was coming from. On most of my action films, it didn’t matter, but this one we needed that connection, and that was the start of everything. All of those late nights running lines and reading the books together were what made us, “us”. I sucked in my breath and gave my head a few quick shakes to try and get my focus back.

  I was thankful I didn’t have to make it through a love scene, but it would still be emotional because it was very relatable. I started to run a hand through my hair, but stopped when the make-up artist
called my name sharply. My head snapped around to look at her as she was rapidly shaking her head. “You’ll ruin it.”

  I grimaced. How could I ruin it? It was covered in crap that made it look sweaty and plastered to my head, but whatever. I let my hand fall to my side and turned away from her.

  I was royally screwed, even though I’d talked to Martin during pre-production and explained the situation about Brook and me and the misunderstanding about Wendy. He’d agreed to leave the love scenes, which were more over-the-top intense in this movie, until the end of production so maybe I’d be able to mend the abyss with her, though I was hurt and angry. I’d also asked him to keep Wendy the hell away from me as much as possible.

  I thought I was prepared for this scene; I’d memorized every line but something didn't feel right. It felt too real and the pain in my chest was undeniable. I was all fucked up because Brook and I hadn’t met and worked on anything in pre-production. In fact, I’d avoided Vancouver until a day before my first call.

  We always rehearsed together and never went to set without going over every scene, even if it wasn’t one we were in together. We weren't just actors working on a film, we always wanted it to be prefect and had spent hours and hours perfecting every nuance. This time, it felt like we were strangers and it tortured me. If this were any other actress or any other movie, maybe it wouldn't have mattered. But it was Brook. It felt wrong. Horribly wrong.

  I walked over to Ethan and he nodded at me as I approached. “Hey, man.”

  “Hello,” I returned.

  We were both in workout clothes, I was shirtless and the make-up people made sure I looked like I was glistening with sweat by spraying me with a mixture of water and glycerin, and I went through a series of stretches to loosen up my muscles right before the costume assistant taped up my hands and was lacing up the second boxing glove. I flexed my hands inside them because they felt uncomfortable. I would have rather hit the bag with my bare fists, but that wasn’t the way the script was written, and I couldn’t have my hands banged up for the rest of the filming.

  I was wound really tight; my body coiled and my heart hollow. All I wanted was to get at that bag and begin working myself up before the scene started, then I’d be sweating and out of breath for real, so I turned to Ethan.

  “Would you mind spotting me? I want to get started. It’ll make it more realistic for filming.”

  “Sure. No problem.” He nodded and grabbed the bag.

  I immediately began attacking it. “Ugh!” I delivered the first hit with my right hand, harder than necessary, and then another with my left.

  “Whoa, save it for the film, dude.” The look on his face was concerned. “Is something up with Brook? I haven’t seen you two together since we hit set and she’s been holed up in her room and not hanging with the rest of us, like before.”

  It was the first chance I’d had to speak to him since I’d arrived. “Uh…” I hesitated, but continued to hit the bag over and over. My heart rate began to elevate as I beat the hell out of the bag. Ethan was solid and holding it firmly. “I haven’t really talked to her yet.” My chest was heaving and I was beginning to get winded. Still, I kept hitting.

  Ethan’s expression was incredulous. “What? Really?”

  The hair on my forehead and back of my neck was plastered to my skin, but I felt a prickling sensation and something made me turn to glance behind me. Brook was walking onto the sound stage and toward the set.

  Fuck! Did I want her to watch this? Probably not.

  Focus! My mind was screaming at me.

  "Okay, places, guys,” Martin said, unnecessarily. Brook took a chair behind Martin, and although I kept my eyes down, I could feel her gaze burning into me.

  I sighed, shook my arms and bounced in place even though I was already warmed up. Ethan glanced at Brook, who was talking to Martin and then back at me. His eyes were knowing as they met mine, but he didn’t ask any further questions. Thank God.

  The two supporting actresses in the scene took their places a few feet away. They were pretty, outfitted like those Barbie girls who make going to the gym a fashion show rather than a workout. I’d seen one of them on set of another film, but the other was unknown to me.

  “Okay, roll film." I turned my attention to Ethan who crouched and grabbed the bag again, then took another deep breath. "ACTION!" Martin yelled from off side.

  The scene unfolded with Ethan’s character goading mine that I should take advantage of the opportunity the two girls were presenting as I worked out. The sexual tension and frustration manifesting inside me was right on, it’d been so long since I’d been with Brook, and I was able to channel it into the scene. I knew Brook was watching and it pissed me off. Each blow to the bag was harder and harder.

  Remember you’re Ryan, not Cade, I thought. Ethan began his lines as Ryan’s brother, Aaron.

  "Looks like you've got a fan club," he murmured and nodded over his shoulder toward the two actresses ogling us.

  "Stupid bitches," I grunted between punches, adopting the American accent that was now second nature to me. "After four years, you'd think they'd get a damn clue."

  "They are hot," Ethan said.

  Exertion was setting in and I was sweating profusely. I stopped to wipe the sweat out of my eyes with the towel around my neck as the script dictated. It was awkward with the gloves on, but they were starting to burn.

  "Hadn't noticed," I said and continued with more blows to the bag.

  "Ryan, come on. Julia's been away all this time and I love her dearly, but you're a guy. Guys have needs. It doesn't have to mean anything and they’re certainly willing."

  I didn't say anything, but hit the bag harder, still. Ethan was jolted and readjusted his stance. The script, the script, the script, my mind screamed. Don’t look at Brook!

  "And now... you seem so miserable.” Ethan continued with his lines. “Maybe you need to cut loose a little."

  "That's what I'm doing," I said through clenched teeth while I kept pounding the bag with all my strength.

  "You know what I mean."

  "Don't." I ground out.

  "You're leaving here in a couple of months. God knows you need it. You're ready to blow, brother. Julia doesn't remember. She wouldn't have to know."

  "Aaron, I said that's enough!" I yelled, easily channeling my real emotions. I was so pissed I felt like my body would fly apart.

  "Ryan..." he began, but I shoved the bag with such force that he stumbled back and nearly fell.

  "Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Aaron!" I felt Ryan’s rage and pain as I felt my own. "I'll smash your Goddamn face in if you say one more word, do you hear me?"

  Ethan’s expression was incredulous and his voice became as elevated as mine. "I'm just looking out for you! I see you suffering, you asshole! You're killing yourself! You better think twice before you threaten me little man, because I'll take your. Ass. Out!" Ethan came toward me and shoved me in the chest. The fight was choreographed, but I found myself using more force than I needed to and soon Ethan fell.

  He sprawled backwards onto the mats as tears welled in my eyes.

  "Noooo!" I screamed at him. "Maybe it's in you to fuck around on Jenna, but I will never do that to Julia!" The two actresses moved in closer in observance of the script, their eyes wide and mouths hanging open as I thundered at Ethan. "It is impossible for me to even think about anyone else! You know that so just shut the hell up! It would kill us both, for God's sake! I'm in love, damn you!! So much I can't even fucking breathe. She's all I want! She means everything and I just want her back like we were!" I was yelling and my chest was heaving. I stumbled back and began to turn from him, still on the floor, staring up at me with a stunned look on his face. "She's all I want," I said more softly, defeat and heartbreak lacing my tone. “Brook is all I want!”

  “Cut!” Martin said loudly at the same time Ethan said “Shit, Cade! That would have been perfect.”

  “Bloody fucking hell! Just edit the fucking t
hing!” I said and ripped at the laces of the gloves. My eyes were blurry and I couldn’t tell if the sting was from sweat or tears, but my chest was tight and I couldn’t breathe. I felt claustrophobic and I needed a break. “I’m not doing that scene again!” I ripped the gloves off and dropped them where I stood, my eyes searching for a pair of blue ones.

  Her face was so pained, and I remembered that look from Tokyo and tears were raining from her eyes. Jennifer and Wendy were both standing near her, and Jennifer put a hand on her shoulder.

  "Brook," I choked out, trying desperately to keep my voice even, but my throat ached and all I wanted was for all of these people to disappear so I could make things right between us. I moved toward her without thinking but she put up a hand to stop me.

  “I can’t…” Her voice caught on a sob.

  My face twisted in pain as I recognized that tone in her voice.

  My heart was squeezing within my chest, the heat burning the back of my neck as I felt my skin flush, and my heart pounded loudly in my ears.

  Her face dropped and crumpled as she struggled for words, her shoulders slumped and she shook her head brokenly. "I… can’t do this," she said so softly I barely heard her.

  I looked at her defeated form and chastised myself. She was broken and for what? I caused this. It was my fault. I should have swallowed my pride in Japan and straightened it all out.

  Brook was visibly shaking, tears running down her face. "Don't," she whispered achingly. "Please don't do this." She took a step toward me, her tortured eyes rose to mine as her arms reached for me. She'd said the same damn thing as she lay on the bed in Japan. “I can’t go through it again.”

  Jesus, I want to take the pain away.

  Her mouth opened to speak but no words came out. She looked up into my eyes and I could see Brook in those eyes. Brook's eyes, not Julia's.