#BABYMACHINE

by Cassandra Dee

  “Come on,” I said to my brother, “Let’s get outta here.”

  And we were back outside, our sister waiting for us, her eyes big as she watched.

  “Everything okay?” she asked quietly.

  I loved Karlie for that. She hadn’t questioned our tactics, she understood the value of quick action and a “Shock and Awe” strategy. Because yeah, we’d completely overwhelmed the enemy, pounding him into the ground as necessary.

  “Fine,” I said, slinging my arm around her tiny shoulders. “Let’s beat feet.”

  And holding her close to me, her slight form pressed against my big body, we made our way out of the trash … and into the light.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Karlie

  I wasn’t sure what to think. On the one hand, everything football-related was resolved. The letter from Jimmy retracting everything set the ball in motion, and Colt and Cain were cleared after a hearing.

  We’d been at the NCAA’s local office, sitting in a chilly conference room as an inquiry took place. Jimmy was being questioned by officials and it was the twins’ right to observe, to confront their accuser.

  “So you made all this up?” asked a dude in a slick suit, his hair combed back. I hated lawyers but evidently one was necessary, and my brothers had retained the best in the business.

  “Yeah,” answering Jimmy nervously, his voice trembling a little. I noticed that he hadn’t looked at the twins since entering the room, that half of the room off-limits, his head turned at a forty-five degree angle the entirety of his testimony.

  “Why would you do that?” asked the attorney. “Please speak to the panel, the allegations are serious.”

  Jimmy shook even more, his narrow shoulders visibly trembling as he looked down at his hands.

  “I wanted to date their sister,” he said in a small voice. “She was so tempting and I figured that if I blackmailed them, she’d go out with me.”

  “And who is this girl?” continued the lawyer.

  “Kar-Karlie Jones,” stuttered Jimmy.

  “Is she here today?” asked the lawyer.

  “Yes,” said Jimmy, pointing to me.

  “Please note that the defendant has pointed to one Karlie Jones, seated to the right of podium,” intoned the attorney.

  And my heart curdled as a roomful of observers turned to stare at me. Not only were our parents present, but there were coaches, recruiters, reps from different athletic departments, anyone who might be interested in Colt and Cain’s football careers. This was serious business.

  I was dressed in a somber navy suit, my hair pulled back in a tight bun, but I dreaded what was sure to follow.

  “And what did this plan for blackmail consist of?” asked the attorney. “Remember, you’re under oath.”

  I took a deep breath. Here’s where it would all come out. My escapades as a Donkey girl would be revealed, my penchant for dancing nude, displaying my body for dollars. Here’s where everyone would find out on the record that I’d had sex in public, and with my brothers to boot.

  But Jimmy committed the equivalent of perjury.

  “I figured she’d do anything for Colt and Cain, she’d date me if I helped them win, so I deflated footballs pre-game thinking that she’d like me more,” he mumbled.

  “And that’s it?” asked the attorney skeptically. “What was all that about the … let’s see here, ahem, the so-called Donkey Club?”

  Silence for a moment.

  “It was fake,” Jimmy mumbled.

  “Excuse me?” asked the attorney. “You made it up? Why would you do that?”

  “It was all fake, okay?” Jimmy said, his jaw clenched. “I made it up so that Karlie would be humiliated. She wouldn’t go out with me, she wouldn’t even give me the time of day, so I made it up to hurt her. That she was a stripper, that she made money on the side dancing, that she took off her clothes for money. To humiliate her, to humiliate her brothers.”

  “So there is no Donkey Club?” asked the attorney.

  Another pause. What was he going to say now?

  “I mean, yes, there’s a Donkey because I looked it up on-line, the place exists,” said Jimmy tightly. “But whether Karlie danced there, I can’t say,” he said.

  “So she did?” asked the man again. “I’m sorry, please answer the question.” Man, my head was already spinning with confusion from the web of questions and answers, being a lawyer isn’t easy.

  “She didn’t,” said Jimmy again, looking down. “At least, not that I know of.”

  And that was that. The attorney led Jimmy through another series of questions, this time about whether the balls were deflated, and of course Jimmy said he’d made it all up. The whole story had been a hoax, he’d been looking to hurt me via my brothers, and had succeeded in the worst way.

  “So in conclusion,” pronounced the lawyer to the Commissioner and assembled panel, “Jimmy Long is a misguided boy, someone who needs help. He did this all because of a woman, but is that really so surprising? Troy fell because of Helen, and here, our equivalent femme fatale is Karlie Jones.”

  My heart sank again, this ordeal had been painful and I hated the comparison, the allegation that I was some kind of seductress. But all things considered, I was getting off easy. My secret life as a dancer was still secret, my brothers’ football careers were still intact, and most importantly, no one knew I was sleeping with my steps.

  But I was confused, the whirring in my brain on max because I didn’t know what to think about the twins anymore. On the one hand, I hadn’t protested when Colt and Cain proposed physical harm to Jimmy. It had turned my stomach, but I recognized how important it was to reverse the situation, letting the allegations linger and stew would damage them forever, their reputations, their integrity, their ability to lead the Eagles.

  But on the other, what happened made me shrink back with horror, the thought of physical violence terrifying. And the twins … they’d been experts in that little room, I’d heard the screams myself, the dazed confusion of Jimmy once he exited, the flicker of undisguised horror in his eyes. Maybe the damage hadn’t been visible, but he was clearly never going to be the same again.

  And so when Colt and Cain had reached for me after that fateful night, I’d drawn back a little, shuddering a bit.

  “Brothers, I don’t know,” I said softly.

  “Don’t know what?” growled Colt, eyeing me hungrily. If I wasn’t wrong, the beating they’d administered had made their testosterone crest judging from the bulge at his crotch.

  Cain was even bolder. He unzipped and whipped out his dong, the full fifteen inches already hard, pulsing with arousal, his glans deep purple and leaking with pre-cum. And god, I was tempted to forget everything, to act like nothing had happened.

  “Taste it, sister,” he invited, looking at me with a gleam in his eye, already pressing down on my head with one big hand.

  But I squirmed away, squaring my shoulders.

  “I can’t brothers,” I said firmly. “Not right now … maybe not ever again.”

  That stopped them. Colt and Cain eyed me warily.

  “What’s wrong?” ground out Cain. “You love cock. You love our cocks,” he clarified.

  “Yes,” I replied slowly, “but after what’s happened, it’s just too much, you know?”

  “No, we don’t,” rumbled Colt dangerously. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  I looked at them straight, taking a deep breath, rehearsing the answer I’d practiced.

  “I know you had to do what you did to Jimmy,” I said, my voice stumbling even though I’d replayed this scene in my mind countless times. But I had to finish.

  “I’m just not sure I’m okay with it,” I said. “I mean, I’m a photographer but I’m not a war photographer. I take stills, portraits, sports, animals, babies, you name it. There’s never any blood or violence, and I … and I’m not sure I know you anymore,” I finished helplessly.

  “What is there to know?” ground out Col
t, shaking his head. “We’re simple guys and besides, you already know everything about us. You know us inside out, our bodies, our lives, where we’re headed, where we’ve been. What’s causing this?”

  God, this was an impossible task.

  “I guess I just never thought I’d be dating men who hurt others,” I said slowly. “Jimmy’s never going to be the same, you know.”

  My brothers were silent, looking at me.

  “Damn right,” said Cain. “That fucker deserves it.”

  But Colt was a little more understanding.

  “Sister, we get it,” he said soothingly, his hand reaching for mine. I let him hold my hand, my palm swallowed in his giant one. “Take your time. You need to work things out.”

  I shot him a grateful glance, thankful that someone understood my dilemma, the way my heart felt like it was torn in two. Because I loved them, Colt and Cain were my everything, but I wasn’t sure I could be with them, not after seeing how they’d beat Jimmy so badly. I guess true love isn’t perfect, there are so many nuances and I wasn’t sure how to navigate this.

  “Karlie,” interjected Cain with a dark look, “how long is this going to go on?”

  I understood what he was saying. Men like the McKessons are alphas, they didn’t have forever, they wouldn’t wait forever.

  But I was only me. I took a deep breath because I wasn’t sure about anything at this point, whether there was a timeline, whether I would ever get over my distaste. But I would try.

  “I don’t know brothers,” I said soberly. “I’ll do my best to figure it out, I really will, but I’m confused inside. I just don’t what to think, everything’s jumbled.”

  And my brothers gave me searching looks, their bodies still hard even after my confession. Because what could they do? If you love someone, let them go, but would I come back? Or were our lives going separate ways from now on?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Karlie

  “Mom, I don’t know,” I said helplessly. “I just don’t know.”

  “What don’t you know?” asked Karla, her voice pleading. “Why haven’t you applied to school? Are you not going to college at all now?”

  “It’s not that,” I said helplessly, “it’s just that ….” My voice trailed off.

  “Just what?” asked my mom.

  I didn’t know what to say, how I’d been in a relationship with my stepbrothers, how conflicted I was about that relationship now.

  “The last couple months have been tough, okay?” I said quietly. “I’ve never been in the public eye like this before.”

  “I know honey, I know,” said Karla, her voice sympathetic suddenly. “The NCAA panel was tough, the testimony in front of everyone, having your private affairs dragged out into the open, it’s not easy, trust me I know.”

  But she didn’t even realize half of it. Karla didn’t know that I’d been sleeping with my brothers, that they’d beat up Jimmy Long, and I didn’t want to mention it either. But how to end this conversation on a good note? I didn’t want to let her know the real reason for my hesitance, how I’d retreated into a shell just to think things over. It was a time to reflect and be still, to sink into myself for a while, to avoid the scrutiny of the world.

  But Karla was worried. Usually I’m out and about, capturing the action, maybe not the star of the show but I’m definitely there, participating in my own way. Lately, I’ve just been holed up, the boys gone at pre-season training camp, alone in my wing of the house. Karla had cornered me in the kitchen, catching me on one of my rare forays downstairs to grab some food. I still had to eat to survive after all.

  But Mom was concerned I could tell, those red nails tapping against the kitchen counter reflexively, a steady drumbeat of worry for her only child.

  “Listen Ma, I’ll be okay,” I reassured her, sipping my coffee. These days I was downing caffeine like a thirsty woman stranded in the desert. It’s odd, I know, most people with anxiety are warned away from caffeine, but I needed to stay awake because sleep only brought dreams … filled with thoughts of my brothers.

  “Karlie, trust me, I know a lot more than you think,” said my mom.

  “Yes, Ma,” I said patiently. “But I don’t want to bother you with my problems, you and Jerry are so in love.”

  “That’s true, honey, but we’re not so in love that we didn’t notice,” she said slowly. “I know we haven’t been the most attentive parents of late, we left the three of you to your own devices, but I still had one eye open and I saw how you looked at the twins.”

  My face flushed. Oh god, this was like my worst nightmare come true. My mom had noticed that I had a crush on the twins? I prayed no but suspected the answer was yes.

  “It’s natural for a young girl to be attracted to dominant men,” said my mom slowly. “After all, the boys are just like their father, alpha males, natural-born leaders, magnetic and inspiring.”

  That was definitely how I’d describe Colt and Cain. Whether that applied to Jerry, I wasn’t sure, but I nodded, listening still.

  “The thing is, you, Colt and Cain didn’t grow up together, so they’re no different from any other boys you’d meet at school,” said my mom. I flushed again, the fact that we were talking about this so embarrassing. But my mom continued.

  “They are some boundaries that should never be crossed, after all human beings have these taboos to prevent all sorts of problems,” said my mom. “Take for example the Egyptian pharaohs. Brothers married sisters, and allegedly genetic defects were rampant, stillbirths and miscarriages happened all the time, not to mention adults with severe mental and physical disabilities.”

  I nodded, my heart in my throat. I’d done some reading about Amenhotep I, who was the result of three generations of inbreeding. The poor pharaoh had suffered from all sorts of impairments, from feminine hips to a cleft palate, not to mention mental defects which were undetectible from mummy reconstruction.

  But my mom was demonstrating a rare amount of intuition and insight.

  “Colt and Cain aren’t that,” she said forcefully. “They were strangers to you until a few months back, when we introduced you at the house,” she said, “and it’s natural to develop feelings. I know seeing them on trial wasn’t easy for you, it was like watching a boyfriend take a beating.”

  And this is when I had to step in.

  “Mom,” I said slowly, “that’s the thing, Colt, Cain and I … well, we were dating,” I said. “For real,” I emphasized. “We knew it was crossing boundaries but it felt so right and,” I sighed, gesturing helplessly with my hands, “we went with it. I slept with my stepbrothers, Ma, and everything that goes with it.”

  Instead of being shocked, my mom nodded knowingly, albeit a little hesitant.

  “We’d guessed as such,” she said. “Jerry and I. We knew putting a pretty girl in the proximity of two males, it’d probably cause some excitement.”

  “Then why’d you do it?” I asked, genuine astonishment entering my voice. “If you thought I’d be attracted to my steps, why place me in their vicinity?”

  My mom was silent for a second.

  “I didn’t know it’d go so far, I suppose,” she confessed anxiously. “I was worried about you Karlie, you didn’t seem to be developing as fast as other girls, you never went out on dates,” she rushed. “I figured maybe the boys would take you under their wing, show you around in the few months you’d have together before college. If you developed a light crush, then so what?” she said rhetorically, “I didn’t think it’d snowball into this.”

  “You mean, you didn’t think I’d be sleeping with them,” I said, direct and to the point. No point in beating around the bush any longer.

  “Definitely not,” said my mom emphatically. “I mean, had you ever slept with a boy before this Karlie? At least to my knowledge you hadn’t, and you were always dressed in those baggy black clothes, I didn’t think any guys would ask you out either.” That stung, but I could see the logic in it. “Colt and Cain, I th
ought maybe they could turn you around, help you be more social,” continued my mother.

  Again, I could see my mother’s reasoning, but it still hurt. My mom’s faith in my social skills was so low.

  “Mom, I know I wasn’t popular per se,” I defended myself, “but I still got out, I was always on the yearbook staff, I had a few friends and I was developing at my own pace. Wasn’t that enough?”

  “Of course it’s enough, honey, I just thought I’d give you a little boost, a push in the right direction. Again baby, I never expected that you’d start dating your brothers, that you’d fall in love.”

  And that took me aback because my mom’s skills of perception were more acute than I’d thought. She’d used the “L” world and wasn’t brushing this off as a summer fling or puppy love. Instead she was acknowledging it as the real thing, something valuable that I’d lost, the twins’ absence penetrating deep into my heart.

  And that was the thing. Was I mourning a lost relationship? The thought made my soul crumple, I loved them so much and I couldn’t quite believe everything that had happened. But it was still difficult to process the magnitude of their actions, the pain they’d inflicted, the fact that they were ruthless in a way completely foreign to me.

  Karla stepped in again with her thoughts, which were curiously apt.

  “Honey, no man is perfect,” she said slowly. “I know you’ve been thinking things over, that you haven’t been communicating with Colt and Cain.”

  “How do you know?” I said swiftly. “Have you been monitoring my cell usage?”

  It was possible, my bills went to Jerry and he could probably see which numbers I called.

  But it was a lot less threatening than that.

  “Of course not, honey,” laughed my mom. “It’s because Colt and Cain have been talking to their dad, and he told me that they miss you, that you never reach out to them anymore.”

  I gasped. So the extent of our relationship was completely obvious to our parents? Even Jerry knew of the tangled bonds between the twins and I, that we were engaged in a ménage?