I Hate You More

by Moody, Alexandra

  18

  Ally

  “This is a nice surprise,” my grandma said, her face lighting up as I joined her and Cora. The sun was out, so they were sitting in the small courtyard off my grandma’s room drinking coffee and gossiping like always. Grandma beckoned me to sit in the chair closest to her while Cora poured me a drink.

  “I hope you’re not springing a book club meeting on us. It’s only been two weeks.” Cora’s eyes were filled with a mixture of worry and disapproval.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “No book club today, I just wanted to see you guys,” I said, earning a sigh of relief from Cora. She really wasn’t the biggest reader in our small group, but she wanted to be involved in everything The Three C’s did. “Where’s Connie this morning?”

  Cora’s expression brightened substantially at the question. “Oh, she’s out taking a walk with Bart.”

  “He asked her out?”

  My grandma shook her head. “Not yet. I think he’s still working up the courage.”

  “But he’d better do it soon,” Cora added. “We’re no spring chickens and can’t be wasting any time.”

  I laughed and took a sip of my coffee. I’d barely slept last night and had spent the entire morning cleaning up after the party. Shane and Chase were sleeping and left all the cleaning to us girls. I didn’t bother to try to wake them up, and I was happy to avoid Chase. I was still rattled by the moment we had shared in his room and couldn’t decide whether or not he’d been about to kiss me. Either way, my emotions were a jumbled mess, and I wasn’t sure how to face him.

  “How are things at school?” Grandma asked.

  I shrugged. “Things are fine. Well, aside from all the homework. I already have three assignments to do.”

  “I’m sure your father has you studying hard,” Grandma replied.

  “Tell me about it,” I groaned. Some nights, it felt like my brain would pop from all the information I was cramming into it. I had a strict schedule I stuck to though, so at least school hadn’t completely taken over my life.

  “All that studying can’t be good for you. At least tell me you’ve been dating some cute boys,” Cora said with a shake of her head.

  I laughed. “I think most adults would disagree with you about how good studying is for you.”

  “Well, what would they know,” Cora replied. “And you didn’t tell me about the boys.”

  “There’s a new boy at school,” I said, making Cora’s eyes light up with glee. “And he’s cute, but he’s just a friend,” I quickly added, much to her disappointment.

  “Anyone else?”

  My cheeks started to warm as Chase popped into my head. I was trying to get him to date me, but not for any reasons Cora or my grandma would approve of. I couldn’t stop thinking about him though, and I had to talk to someone about how I was feeling. Perhaps Cora and Grandma could help in unraveling my confused mind.

  “Actually, there is a boy, but I’m not sure about him.”

  “How so?” Grandma asked.

  “Well, we’ve never really gotten along, and he irritates me like crazy, but when I get close to him, I think I want to kiss him.”

  Cora grinned. “That’s how all the best relationships start.”

  “But we can’t stand each other, and I spend half my life wanting to kill him.”

  “That’s called passion,” Cora said.

  I scrunched my nose in disgust. There was certainly no passion between Chase and I, but there needed to be if the plan was ever going to work.

  “So, how do I know if he’s interested in me?”

  Grandma smiled. “You could ask him on a date,” she said, as if it were that simple. “That’s what girls do these days, isn’t it?”

  “I guess so,” I replied. “But girls are always throwing themselves at him, and he’s always turning them down. What if he turns me down?”

  “Maybe he’s been waiting for the right girl to ask,” Grandma suggested.

  “Any boy would be crazy to turn you down,” Cora added. “But if this one can’t see how special you are, then he’s not the right boy for you.”

  I gave them both a warm smile, but my stomach was churning with nerves. There was no way I could ask Chase out. If he turned me down, my entire plan to get rid of him would go flying out the window. I had to get him to realize he wanted to date me on his own.

  “I wish it were that easy,” I grumbled.

  “It is,” Grandma said. “Sometimes you have to trust your gut, and if it’s telling you that there’s something between you and this boy, then I’m almost certain he’s feeling it too.”

  Given Chase’s reaction to me last night, I wasn’t sure if my grandma was right. He’d leaned in like he’d wanted to kiss me, but then he’d embarrassed me in front of my brother and Tessa. He’d made his feelings toward me pretty clear with his disgusted reaction at the idea of us making out. But then, when I’d seen the book lying outside my door this morning it had felt like an apology. Knowing Chase though, it could just be another mind game. My gut had no idea what to make of it all.

  Connie joined us a while later and couldn’t stop gushing about her walk with Bart. It sounded like the two of them were hitting it off, but she kept complaining that he’d yet to ask her on a proper date.

  I stayed at the nursing home until it was time for The Three C’s to go down to lunch. They always had lunch at twelve sharp, which gave me plenty of time to get home in time for the two hours of homework I had scheduled for the afternoon. I would have loved to stay longer, but I had a lot of math problems to get through.

  I walked Grandma, Connie, and Cora to the dining room before saying my goodbyes. I was just leaving the room when a man on a mobility scooter came whizzing through the door. I had to jump out of the way to avoid a collision, and I stumbled into a cart, losing my balance. I tried to grab the cart to steady myself but only made things worse. The cart started tilting toward me, and the plates piled on top of it began to slide toward the edge.

  I was a hairbreadth away from pulling the whole thing over when a strong pair of arms wrapped around me, holding me up. I slowly lifted my gaze to meet an annoyingly familiar set of blue eyes and flushed with embarrassment. Of course, Chase of all people was there to witness my humiliation.

  “Ally?” Chase asked, his face dawning with recognition. “What are you doing here?”

  “What am I doing here? What are you doing here?” I replied, stepping out of his grasp, putting much-needed distance between us. He was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a light blue shirt that brought out the striking color of his eyes. I’d never seen him look so smart. He’d clearly made an effort to dress up, but I couldn’t understand why.

  He frowned and glanced over his shoulder before turning back to focus on me once more. “I was visiting my grandpa.”

  “Oh.” I started to frown myself. The air between us was fraught with tension, and he seemed uncomfortable in my presence. His usual scowl was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t make things between us any easier. “I was visiting my grandma,” I explained. “How often do you come here?”

  His tense expression eased at my question. He was probably just grateful I wasn’t bringing up last night. “With my parents away, I promised to visit my gramps when I could,” he replied. “I like spending time with him, so I try to come as often as possible.”

  His explanation chipped a crack in my hardened heart, and I wished I didn’t know a kinder side of Chase existed. I already had enough confusion where he was concerned. I didn’t want to see any more evidence that maybe he wasn’t as bad as I’d always assumed.

  “You guys should have left some of the cleaning for us this morning,” he went on. “I woke up, and the house looked brand-new.”

  He looked genuinely apologetic, but I could only muster up a shrug in response. I just wanted Chase to go back to being dismissive of me. I liked it far better when I knew what to expect from him, and his nice, friendly act was putting me on edge.


  He swallowed before he continued. “Look, about last night—”

  “There you are,” someone called behind Chase.

  Frustration briefly flickered in his eyes at being interrupted, but it quickly disappeared as he turned to face the old man slowly hobbling toward us and started to smile. I recognized the man as Bart, Connie’s admirer.

  “And I see you’ve got a friend,” Bart added as his gaze fell on me.

  “Gramps, this is Ally,” Chase said. His voice faltered over my name, and I wondered why he sounded so nervous to introduce me. He was probably embarrassed to be associated with me, just like he had been after seven minutes in heaven. “Ally, this is my grandpa, Bart.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I said.

  Bart’s ice-blue eyes studied me before he smiled and nodded. “So, this is Ally,” he said, giving Chase a nudge with his elbow. I could have sworn Chase started to blush.

  I lifted an eyebrow at their interaction, and Chase quickly tried to fill the silence. “I told Gramps that I was living with you and Shane.”

  “Ah, okay…”

  “She’s just as pretty as you said,” Bart continued. Chase’s cheeks were definitely flushing pink, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of shock running through me. He’d told his grandpa I was pretty? I was surprised he’d mentioned me at all, but I couldn’t believe he actually complimented me.

  “What brings you to our neck of the woods, Ally?” Bart asked. He still had a wide grin on his face but seemed to have realized his grandson wanted to change the subject. I was also happy to talk about something else. The thought of finding out what else Chase had divulged to his grandpa about me was somewhat terrifying.

  “My grandma Clara also lives here,” I said. “I come and visit her and her friends, Cora and Connie, whenever I get a chance.”

  Bart’s eyes lit up even more at the sound of Connie’s name. “You know Connie?”

  I smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve known her since I was little.”

  “Well, make sure to put in a good word for me,” he said. “We had a really lovely walk this morning, and I’d like to do it again sometime.”

  Bart was just as sweet as Connie had said, and I was pretty certain she wouldn’t need any encouragement from me to walk with him again. It sounded like Bart was doing just fine on his own.

  “I’m sure she’d like that too,” I said. “Anyway, I should probably get going. It was really nice to meet you.”

  “You too, my dear,” Bart replied. “Hopefully, I’ll be seeing you around here again soon.”

  “You will.” I flashed him a smile before I turned and quickly walked away. I couldn’t bring myself to meet Chase’s eyes. I was already feeling confused after last night, and discovering that Chase had been talking to his grandpa about me didn’t help.

  I was halfway down the corridor when I heard the sound of hurried footsteps coming up behind me. “Ally, wait up,” Chase called.

  I frowned and slowed my steps as Chase ran up beside me. “Did you need something?”

  Chase put his hands in his pockets as he looked down at me. “I just wanted to see if you need a ride home. Your car was still in the drive when I left.”

  “Oh.” Tessa had driven me here because Shane needed the car for training. I had planned to walk home, but it took almost an hour. “You don’t have to do that. I can walk.”

  “I don’t mind,” he said. “It’s not like it’s out of my way.”

  “Right,” I mumbled. “Aren’t you staying here with your grandpa?”

  Chase shook his head. “Nah, I’ve already spent an hour with him, and he likes eating lunch with his friends.”

  I stayed silent, uncertain what to do. Chase had been so rude to me last night, but then he’d left the book outside my door like some kind of peace offering. One minute, he would do something that only spurred me on in my quest to get him kicked out of the house, but the next minute, he’d make me question whether I wanted to go through with it at all.

  “So, do you want me to drop you home, Ally?”

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, sure, that would be great.” I couldn’t think of any reason to say no, and Tessa would kill me if I missed a chance to keep working on step two of the plan. Surely, I could survive a ten-minute car ride with him.

  I followed Chase out to the parking lot, not saying a word. There weren’t many cars around, and I couldn’t see Chase’s anywhere.

  “Where’s your car?”

  He raised his arm and pointed to an old pickup truck I didn’t recognize. It had faded blue paint and spots of rust near the rims. The car Chase normally drove was expensive and slick. It had a powerful engine that revved so loudly you could always hear it coming from a few blocks away and a distinctive stripe of red paint down the side so you could never mistake it for anyone else’s. The truck we were walking toward looked like it was one trip away from dying.

  “Why are you driving such a beat-up old truck?” I asked.

  Chase didn’t look at me, instead giving the truck an indulgent smile before he answered. “It belongs to my gramps. He no longer has his license, but I always bring it to the home when I come to visit and take him out for a spin. It might look a little old, but it has character.”

  He was looking at it with such affection that I suspected he really loved the old thing. I felt like I was seeing a completely different side to Chase today. He seemed so at ease here, and there was a kindness behind his actions I’d never witnessed before. The way he treated his gramps was so sweet my heart couldn’t help but melt a little toward him.

  I couldn’t really understand his affection toward the truck though. I didn’t care how much character the truck had; it looked like a death trap. “Your parents don’t mind you driving it?” I asked as I turned my attention on him again.

  Chase’s expression darkened. “Wouldn’t matter if they did,” he muttered. His smile dropped, and he strode toward the truck. My comment had clearly brought out his prickly personality once more, and I wondered why the mere mention of his mom and dad made him tense up. Was he simply angry with them for ditching him here? Or was there something more to it?

  Since Chase had started living with us, I’d been so consumed with worrying about how it affected my life that I had never stopped to consider how it affected him. It couldn’t be easy having your parents leave you during your senior year. I knew they had planned trips to visit as much as they could, but it wasn’t the same as living with them.

  I had to jog to catch up with him. “Why don’t you drive the truck to school every day if you like it so much?” I asked, hoping to get his mind off his parents.

  “It needs some work, as you can probably see.” His voice lightened slightly as the subject returned to his grandpa’s truck. “It’s okay to take it out once in a while, but it’s not really a good idea to be driving it every day.”

  He actually sounded like he wished it were an option. “But your regular car is so nice…”

  “Doesn’t stop me hating it.”

  I was surprised by the venom in his voice. “Why do you hate it?”

  “That car was a bribe from my dad to get me to keep playing football. I wish he’d just taken it away like he threatened when I quit playing last year. I think he lets me keep it as a reminder I let him down.”

  “Oh,” I murmured. Chase’s family had always seemed so picture-perfect. His mom was always dressed impeccably, and his dad had a smile for everyone. They had nice cars, extravagant holidays, and a house so big it put ours to shame. I had no idea that his home life wasn’t quite as perfect as it seemed.

  Chase stopped by the passenger door and opened it for me, but I hesitated to get in. He let out a long breath. “Sorry, I get a little worked up when talking about my dad.”

  My shoulders relaxed slightly, and I nodded. “It’s no problem.” I climbed into the truck and uttered my thanks. I didn’t need his chivalry or his apologies. What I needed was for him to return to the jerk I despised s
o much. I was used to hating him. I had it down to an exact science, and I didn’t like the strange new territory we’d entered.

  As Chase closed the door behind me, I caught the subtle scent of exhaust fumes and leather seats. It was an old smell, but somewhat comforting, and it mingled pleasantly with the scent of Chase’s deodorant.

  As Chase got in and sat behind the wheel, he paused before starting the engine and turned to me. “I was rude to you last night,” he said, his voice low and filled with regret. “I freaked out when Shane burst into the room, and I know that the way I reacted wasn’t very truceful, so I want to apologize.”

  “You do?”

  He nodded, and I was shocked to find I actually believed the sincerity in his eyes. He truly seemed remorseful for hurting my feelings, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I knew that because of the plan I needed to accept his apology whether I liked it or not, but I actually found I wanted to.

  “Then you’re forgiven.”

  A relieved smile lit his features. It was almost impossible to resist his allure when he looked so happy, and it made me question how I could ever hate someone so gorgeous.

  I quickly averted my eyes so I wasn’t lured in by his magnetic powers and tried to change the subject. “Is truceful even a word?” I asked, blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

  A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as he started the engine, the truck spluttering as it sprang to life. “It is now.”

  We didn’t talk as Chase drove us home. He was softly humming along to the radio while I tapped my fingers restlessly against my leg and looked out the window. I felt uneasy being alone with him after his apology, but he seemed completely relaxed.

  I didn’t understand how he wasn’t feeling the same confusion as me. It was slowly tearing me up inside while he didn’t seem to have a problem in the world. What I needed was distance from him so I could set my mind straight. It had become so muddled over the last few days, and being close to Chase didn’t seem to help.