Susannah's Garden

by Debbie Macomber

  “You came back to see her again?”

  Her brother nodded. “I visited her at the hospital once, and at Altamira. It seemed to comfort her. She never knew what really happened to me. Dad made the decision not to tell her I was alive. It would’ve been too hard on her, he said, keeping this kind of secret, so he felt it was best to cut all ties. I agreed at the time but later I wished I hadn’t. He came to see me through the years and brought me money. I worked menial jobs in various states.”

  “Hold on a minute,” Susannah said, stopping him. Once again she’d misjudged her father. “I found a small journal he’d kept of those trips. I thought Dad might’ve had a mistress and he was wining and dining her instead of our mother.”

  “I found it, too,” Doug told her. “I was afraid of what you might think, so I took it. Apparently too late,” he added ruefully.

  “Oh, no.” Susannah covered her eyes with both hands. She’d wrongly accused her father at every turn.

  “At the time everything had to be decided quickly and I know Dad had his regrets after the fact. I did, too, but I couldn’t set things straight because of what might happen to him. He was instrumental in setting this up and there would be ramifications for him because of it. I was trapped and so was he.”

  If the fraud had been discovered, Susannah realized, her father, her uncle and the sheriff would’ve been charged and possibly imprisoned. Naturally, her brother couldn’t risk that.

  “I didn’t believe Mom when she told me she’d seen Dad.”

  “Don’t blame yourself for that,” Joe said, giving her hand another reassuring squeeze. Then nodding at Doug, he said, “Continue with what happened to you after the accident.”

  Doug looked sadly down at his coffee. “Dad gave me what cash he could and I crossed into Canada. I lived in British Columbia for a number of years under my new identity. I even worked in mills in a couple of B.C. towns. You remember I once had a summer job at Bronson’s?”

  “You never married, never had a family?”

  Doug shook his head. “No. I couldn’t drag innocent people into this mess.”

  “Oh, Doug.”

  “Eventually I came back to the States and worked at different places around the country. I drifted from city to city, state to state, never staying in any one place for long. I did what I could to make a decent life for myself.”

  “Why did you come back to Colville?”

  Doug cupped his hands around his mug. “It was probably a crazy risk to take, but after all these years I figured everyone had forgotten about me. My appearance had changed quite a bit—as you can tell. Anyway…Dad and I had a complicated communications system and when he didn’t respond last spring, I was afraid of what might have happened. I came to find out.” His voice dropped. “I’m tired of running, tired of looking over my shoulder.”

  “Where have you been hiding all this time?”

  “I haven’t, actually. I’ve been working at Kettle Falls Landscaping.”

  Susannah stared at him. “David—what did you say? Langevin? Do you call yourself Dave?”

  “Yeah.” He gave her a puzzled look.

  “You’re Dave! Carolyn’s Dave!” Susannah was hit with yet another shock. She gasped and leaned back in her chair to absorb this revelation.

  Doug grinned, rubbing the side of his face. “When Carolyn didn’t recognize me, I knew I was probably safe.”

  “Oh, my goodness—does Carolyn know?”

  “No. I couldn’t tell her before I told you.”

  “How long have you been in Colville?” Joe asked.

  “About four months. Carolyn and I started seeing each other recently…. It probably wasn’t a good idea for either of us.”

  “I disagree,” Susannah cut in. “She’s crazy about you.”

  “I love her,” Doug said simply. “All these years, I haven’t allowed myself to feel about a woman the way I feel about her. She deserves far better than me, but she’s hard to walk away from. I gave my notice and didn’t intend on seeing her again, but… I’m not sure what to do.”

  “Why are you identifying yourself now?” Joe asked.

  “Because of Carolyn and because of what was happening with you.” He looked at Susannah as he said this. “She told me about your search for Jake and I was afraid you’d stumble upon the truth. I decided it was best to confront it now and be done with it. I have to trust you and Carolyn and make some decisions about the future.”

  “It’s time she knew, don’t you think?” Susannah said, eager for her friend to discover the truth. Before Doug could protest, she walked over to the wall phone and dialed the mill. In the past two weeks she’d called Carolyn so often, she’d memorized the number.

  “Can you come to the house right away?” Susannah asked when Carolyn answered.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “You’ll know when you get here.” She could barely keep the excitement from her voice. “Just hurry.”

  Without hesitation, proving again what a good friend she was, Carolyn said, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  For the first time since he’d disclosed his identity, Doug looked nervous. He stood up and walked around the table. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

  “Very sure. I’d trust Carolyn with my life. Besides, she loves you.”

  Doug’s head came up. “She told you that?”

  “She didn’t need to. It’s obvious.”

  “You never did explain why you broke into the house,” Joe said, distracting Doug with his question. “I can understand why you wanted to get the journal your dad kept of his visits but what about the other stuff?”

  “It was stupid,” Doug said. “But I’d given up so much, I was trying to collect small pieces of my former life—when I was still Doug Leary, when I still lived in this house. I took the ribbons I won in track and my letterman jacket, along with some of Dad’s things. He had a ring I always wanted. I was looking for that.”

  “Oh, my goodness, Chrissie’s got it! She asked if she could wear it around her neck and I said okay.”

  “No wonder I couldn’t find it.” Doug smiled, shaking his head. “Actually, I enjoyed going through the boxes of stuff you’d packed. You have no idea how good it was to look over the memories of my childhood. It gave me the connection I’ve been lacking all these years. I knew I was risking discovery every time I ventured close to the house, but even that wasn’t enough to keep me away.”

  Susannah could only imagine what might have happened if she’d come across him. “Oh! You were the one tending Mom’s garden, too.”

  Doug nodded sheepishly.

  “What if I’d seen you? Or if Rachel next door had?”

  “It was close the night you phoned the police,” Doug admitted. “But I just couldn’t stay away. Even when you installed the alarm, I returned.”

  They talked a few minutes more while waiting for Carolyn. Joe brought out the pictures he carried in his wallet, using them to update Doug on the family. Her brother was getting more nervous by the minute, and when the doorbell rang, he jerked to his feet.

  “You might prepare her,” Joe suggested.

  Susannah agreed, and when she’d answered the front door, she kept Carolyn in the living room.

  “What’s all this about?” Carolyn looked terrible, her face pale and ravaged, as if she’d been crying for hours.

  “What’s wrong?” Susannah asked.

  Fighting tears, Carolyn sat down on the one remaining chair and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m an emotional mess. Dave’s leaving. He gave his notice. I thought I’d try to reason with him. I tried to call him, but I couldn’t get through. I’m sure he’s already gone. I’m having trouble dealing with it. I’ll be all right. It’s just that I so badly wanted this to work….”

  Squatting in front of her, Susannah reached for her friend’s hands and held them in her own. “What I’ve got to tell you has to do with Dave Langevin.”

  Carolyn was instantly a
larmed. “Has something happened?”

  “He’s here.”

  “Here?” Carolyn looked around and not seeing him, turned questioning eyes to Susannah.

  “Dave is an assumed name.”

  “What?” Carolyn’s gaze bore into hers.

  “Hello, Carolyn,” Doug said, coming to stand in the doorway.

  “Dave?” she gasped.

  He nodded. “You probably remember me as someone else.”

  “I remember you as Dave. What’s going on?” she demanded, glancing from one to the other.

  “May I introduce you to my long-lost, once-dead brother, Doug,” Susannah said, slipping her arm around his waist.

  The blood drained from Carolyn’s face and she brought her hand to her mouth. “Doug?” she repeated in a hushed whisper. “Doug?”

  He nodded again. “I wanted to tell you. I’m so sorry to let you find out like this.”

  Carolyn didn’t wait to hear more. She rushed into his arms and soon they were locked in a tight embrace.

  Joe stood next to Susannah, his arm around her shoulders. Jake was dead and that saddened her, but Doug, her beloved brother, Doug, was alive.

  Susannah had returned to her childhood home, confused, uncertain and in many ways lost. Over the course of the last month she’d found her way home—to her true home, her true self. She didn’t know what the future held for her brother and Carolyn, but she’d let them work that out themselves. Whatever Doug decided was fine by her; she’d stand by him. And, it went without saying, so would Carolyn.

  “Are you still feeling shocked?” Joe asked, whispering close to her ear.

  She had been at first, but the thing about finding your way home was that while the path might be familiar, it sometimes took unexpected twists and turns. Doug’s return was one, the happiest of endings; her new knowledge of her father was another. And so was her rediscovered vision of Joe and their marriage.

  CHAPTER 44

  Now that she and Doug were alone, Carolyn couldn’t stop crying. They’d driven to her home, where they could talk without the fear of constant interruptions. They’d barely made it to the laundry room off the garage when Carolyn broke down.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry,” Doug said, bringing her into his arms. “I would’ve done anything to spare you this shock, but I couldn’t tell you before I told Susannah and her family.”

  “I know, I know.” She buried her face in his shoulder, clinging to him. “You don’t understand.”

  “What?”

  Nothing felt as good as the way Doug ran his fingers through her hair, as if he couldn’t get enough of the feel of her, as if he couldn’t bring her close enough.

  “I have always loved you…. I still have the letters we exchanged. When I found out you’d been killed, I wanted to die, too. If Susannah hadn’t been in France with me, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

  “I’d come to love you, too,” Doug whispered, kissing her temple. “I felt bad about what I was doing. Patricia and I had dated for quite a while and I hated the fact that I was writing to you and still seeing her. I felt guilty about both of you. I planned to break it off with her.”

  “I wrote you almost every day,” she reminded him.

  “And I treasured every letter.” His hold tightened briefly. “At first I thought there might be a way for me to get to Paris, find you, convince you to go into hiding with me.”

  “I would’ve done it.” She knew it was true. “But you didn’t come…you didn’t ask.”

  Doug shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that to you or your parents. If I loved you, and I did, Carolyn, with all my heart, I couldn’t do anything to hurt you. I couldn’t take you into this hell with me.”

  Although she knew he was right, it was hard to forget about the years they’d lived apart.

  “I told myself when I came back to Colville that I wouldn’t get involved with you.” She felt his smile against her forehead. “You don’t know the hell I went through when I was assigned lawn care at the mill and then later at your home. The minute I saw you, I knew all the resolve in the world wouldn’t be enough to keep me away.”

  Carolyn stroked his back through the thin T-shirt, so grateful he was with her and unwilling to relinquish even one moment with him. “This morning when I discovered you hadn’t shown up for work, I was so afraid you’d left town. All morning I had the same horrible feeling I did when I heard that you—Doug—were dead. As if nothing mattered anymore.”

  “I couldn’t leave you.”

  Emotion thickened her throat. “Oh…I don’t even know what to call you.”

  “Dave. I’m accustomed to it now.”

  He’d been Dave far longer than he’d been Doug, she realized. Burrowing into his arms, she trembled with the joy of what she’d learned.

  “What are we going to do?” she cried, panic taking over. No one must learn the truth. No one must suspect.

  “I haven’t got everything figured out yet,” Dave admitted. “I know I can’t leave you, though. I’m through with running.”

  That was reassuring but also threatening. They had to go someplace he’d be safe, where no one could possibly guess. That meant she couldn’t stay in Colville. “I’ll sell the mill and we can—”

  “No.” His response was adamant. “I won’t let you. Don’t even think like that. I’ve lived as Dave Langevin for the last few months without anyone in town suspecting. Doug is dead and buried. He’s no longer a threat to either one of us.”

  “But…”

  “It’s a risk we have to take. None of this can come to light, Carolyn. There’s Sheriff Dalton to consider and my mother, too. A shock like this might be more than she could handle.”

  “Oh, Dave, I feel so bad for your mother. I know we can’t tell her but I promise you this—I will visit her and care for her on your behalf.”

  He raised her fingers to his lips. “Thank you. And if I am found out, then so be it, but I don’t think it’s likely. After Mom and Sheriff Dalton are both gone, I’ll contact an attorney and see what can be done to straighten this out.”

  “No.” Carolyn had strong feelings on the matter. “I won’t risk having you go to jail.”

  “I’ve been there for the last thirty years one way or another.”

  “As your future wife, I should have a say in this.”

  Dave went completely still and stepped back, holding her at arm’s length. “My future wife?” he asked hesitantly.

  Her eyes brimmed with tears as she met his gaze. His wonderful face swam before her. Lifting her hands to his jaw, she smiled shyly and nodded. “I’m proposing, and if you have a lick of sense you’ll accept.”

  “But…”

  “I’ve waited for you my entire life.”

  “But…”

  “Just say yes!”

  “Carolyn, you’re—”

  “Didn’t you hear what I said?” she cried. “I love you and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  He frowned and a look of sadness settled over him. “I don’t even have a pot to piss in. About all I own is that broken-down truck and my camper.”

  He was going to make this more difficult than she’d expected. So she did the one thing that might convince him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him, using her mouth, her tongue, her fingers, her whole body to show this man how much she loved him. He was breathless by the time she’d finished, and so was she.

  Dave placed his hand on the washing machine, as though he needed to hold on to something solid to maintain his balance.

  “Do you have any other arguments?” she asked and marveled that she could have one of the most important conversations of her life in the laundry room.

  Dave frowned and it looked as if he still had some fight in him. “Could you seriously leave me?” she asked.

  A half smile lifted the edges of his mouth. “Probably not,” he said.

  “Next question. How much longer will we manage to stay out of the bedroom? Don’t answe
r, because I can tell you right now, it won’t be long. You know it and so do I.”

  Dave threw back his head, laughed and then swept her back into his embrace. “Carolyn, oh, Carolyn, I love you so damned much. There isn’t a solitary reason on God’s green earth that you should marry a felon like me, but if you want me…”

  “Oh, I want you all right. I want you so much I wonder if I can last the three-day waiting period after we apply for the license.” Only then did she start to laugh, too. Tears ran down her cheeks and she was laughing and crying at once. The man who’d been dead was now alive. No—that wasn’t exactly right. Doug was dead, but Dave was alive. Alive and in love with her.

  Joe and Susannah parked in the Memorial Hospital lot and went up to Vivian’s room, where they found her eating lunch with every appearance of appetite. The color was back in her cheeks and she looked better than she had in weeks.

  Susannah had been anticipating this visit. She’d had a long heart-to-heart talk with her husband, and together they’d reached a major decision. She’d begun to feel trapped in her job and now acknowledged that this phase of her life was coming to a natural end. A new one was about to begin.

  “Should we tell your mother?” Joe asked.

  “Yes. I think she’ll be pleased.”

  “Hi, Mom,” she said, coming all the way into the room and bringing Joe with her. “Look who’s here. And look what I brought.” She held a vase filled with white and pink roses from the garden and carefully placed it on the windowsill.

  Vivian brightened and set aside her fork. “Joe!” She held out her arms for a hug. She sounded more and more like her old self. “Chrissie said you were in town. It’s so good to see you.”

  Joe folded Vivian in his arms and gave her a gentle hug. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Better now that you’re here.” Her gaze went from Joe to Susannah. “The flowers are lovely, dear.” She raised her eyebrows. “You have the same look you always did as a little girl when there was something you were dying to tell me.”

  “I do?” It wasn’t any wonder; Susannah was giddy with excitement, giddy with joy.

  “You might as well tell her right away,” Joe said, sliding his arm around her waist. He smiled down on her, his eyes alight with love.