Alison Brownstone: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 9)

by Michael Anderle

  Not that I’m much better. Shay isn’t here. Or Alison. This damn amulet I’ve got under my shirt isn’t bonded to me, and I doubt it’s female. Then again, I can’t understand what it’s thinking most of the time and it likes to tell me what to do, so maybe it is.

  James grunted, and the thug and Tyler both looked his way.

  The two uniformed cops at the entrance of the Black Sun made their way toward the bar, one sitting on the barstool next to the thug, and another next to Brownstone.

  The cop next to the thug, Ramirez according to his nametape, shook his head. “I’ve been married to my wife for five years. After our first date, she told me she only accepted because I was a cop, and she loves a man in uniform. So now what does she do all the time? Tells me I should stop being a cop because it’s too dangerous, but I guarantee you if I quit the job to be some office drone, she’d be like, ‘Why don’t you have a job with more meaning?’ You’re not the same man I married.”

  The other men present all bobbed their heads in understanding.

  Ramirez’s partner Jackson snorted. “Yeah. Or how about this shit? My wife gives me a big speech about how society’s too materialistic, and how the most important thing is just loving one another, and how we’ve lost all that in this country because we’re slaves to the companies. She gives me this speech like a month before our anniversary.” He shook his head. “So when our anniversary comes, she gets mad because I said we should just stay home and watch TV together, show our love, not waste money running around buying shit from companies, and she calls me a cheapskate.” His eyes bugged out. “Now how is that fair? I think that’s straight-up bullshit. I did exactly what she said she wanted, and I’m the bad guy.”

  “It’s not fair, brother,” the thug suggested. “It’s so not fair. You listened, and she set you up, just like I was set up during my last arrest.”

  Ramirez nodded, as did Tyler.

  James pushed his bottle away. “When I first met my girlfriend, she was upset about people not taking her seriously because of what she looks like.”

  “She super-hot?” Ramirez asked.

  The bounty hunter nodded. “Yeah. Anyway, she got mad at me because I wasn’t all over her.” He shrugged. “I figured I was showing respect, but it pissed her off every time. She even kept saying I must be gay because I wasn’t going after her. I kept telling her I wasn’t gay, but she was acting like she didn’t believe me.”

  Tyler refreshed everyone’s drinks while they sat there pondering the mysteries of the fairer sex.

  James waved off a new bottle. He would have to leave soon. The earlier beers had taken the edge off his injuries, so it was a good enough time to stop. Even though it took a lot for him to get drunk, no reason to take the risk with driving, especially given an important pick-up he had scheduled soon.

  “What are we even supposed to do?” the bounty hunter asked. “If we ask what’s up, half the time they say nothing, and they don’t even try to understand why we’re clueless. They just say shit about how we’re thinking with our dicks.”

  The thug and cops laughed.

  Tyler sipped more whiskey and nodded. “You’re right, Brownstone. Respect and understanding should go both ways, but I feel like with our women, we have to do all the understanding of them, and they just get to yell at us.”

  I love her, but Shay doesn’t understand me. That’s for fucking sure. I don’t mind, but I wish she wouldn’t act like I’m a loser for not understanding her when she’s all over the place.

  James shrugged. “The real question is, what the fuck can we do about it?”

  “Bitch about it at a bar, brother,” the thug yelled. He raised his glass. “And drink our troubles away.”

  Tyler sighed. “We’ll make them understand someday. Maybe some big Oriceran magic spell will be cast, and women will actually understand men instead of just assuming we’re idiots, and men and women will never misunderstand each other again.”

  James doubted that even if he had a hundred wishes, he could accomplish that. Some things were beyond the power of mere mortals.

  “Sure. Miracles could happen, I guess.”

  Tyler shrugged. “We’ve got magic now, Brownstone. You know what I saw on the internet the other day?”

  “A woman who actually understood her man?”

  “Nope.” The bartender shook his head. “A pig flying.”

  2

  The target was close. Very close.

  The woman watched from across the street as Alison stepped out of the train station, pulling a single pink rolling suitcase behind her. The teen had been gone for months, but she was comfortable returning home with only the smallest number of things.

  Good, travel light, but you should be more aware of your surroundings. Bad people could be watching. Bad people like me.

  The woman’s lips curled into a smirk.

  Alison pulled out her phone and held it for a moment, sighing. The woman didn’t need magic to know what the girl was thinking.

  This was the first time she’d traveled from the school by herself. It was obvious evidence of increasing ability with her energy sight, but that didn’t mean traveling across the country was easy or comfortable. Being able to see energy wasn’t the same thing as being able to see like an average person, and it had to make the experience awkward, at best.

  Not only that, it made it a little dangerous. Just being able to see bad people wouldn’t stop them.

  Thinking about calling dear old Dad, huh, kid? Maybe you should before it’s too late. But that’s the thing. It already is.

  The teen let out another long sigh and shook her head, a look of determination settling over her face.

  Brave. Maybe not smart, but brave. You probably think you’re big shit now because you’ve spent a year at the magic school. No, you’re soft and used to being surrounded by a bunch of witches and wizards who keep the real monsters away.

  Now, you’re back in LA. Welcome to the land of monsters. You haven’t noticed me yet because you weren’t even trying to scan around.

  The woman waited for the road to be clear and hurried across. She fell in behind Alison after the girl turned and headed down the sidewalk for a few yards.

  The girl’s energy sight might reveal the woman’s presence if she turned around and knew what to look for, but fortunately, the large crowd entering and leaving the Starbucks would help hide her. There had to be more than a few dangerous people in the crowd with threatening-looking souls who would keep Alison’s attention.

  Can always depend on LA to deliver suspicious assholes when you need them.

  Another teen girl emerged. She was laden with heavier suitcases, but she still rushed toward Alison, demonstrating surprising agility and strength as she pulled her stuff through the crowds on the sidewalk.

  The woman narrowed her eyes. The new arrival was around Alison’s age, but she didn’t recognize the girl—although it wasn’t like she’d memorized the face of every student attending the School of Necessary Magic. She had only one target, and that was Alison Brownstone.

  Maybe she’d gotten bad information. The woman had been told the teen would be traveling alone, motivated by a desire to prove to her overbearing father that she didn’t need to have her hand held.

  Shit. Who the hell is this other girl? She might have some magic I don’t know about. This could complicate things.

  “Hey, Alison,” the new girl called.

  Alison turned around and smiled. “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were heading back to Alaska.”

  “Just visiting my aunt. It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing.” The girl shrugged. “We’ll have to do something together, but I’m going to be in Mexico for the first half of the vacation. My aunt has a timeshare down there. Maybe when I get back?”

  Alison smiled. “Oh, sounds cool. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

  “Yeah. What about you? Are you excited to be home? I mean, LA’s a big city. Lots you can do her
e. We’re not in the middle of nowhere like at school.” The new girl laughed.

  “Not sure.” Alison sighed.

  “Not sure if you’re excited?” The girl frowned. “I don’t get it.”

  “Yeah. Not sure.”

  “How can you not be sure?”

  The woman following the teens slipped her hand into her jacket pocket. She was almost close enough to execute her plan. It was pretty much guaranteed to work now that Alison was distracted. Too damned easy. The new arrival had been a blessing, not a threat.

  A sense of satisfaction settled over the woman. Pulling off something like this in the middle of the night when everyone was sleeping would have been unimpressive, but accomplishing the task in broad daylight proved how clueless Alison Brownstone was.

  The teen shrugged. “I’m excited, but I’m scared. I’ve been really yelling at my dad a lot recently when I talk to him on the phone, calling him stupid and stuff like that. I mean, he had it coming, because he was being totally dumb, but he probably isn’t liking me too much right now.”

  The other girl gasped. “But…your dad is James Brownstone.”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “You yell at James Brownstone? The Granite Ghost? The Scourge of Harriken? They said on the news the other day that he might be the single most well-known bounty hunter on Earth.” The girl shrugged. “Probably Oriceran, too.”

  Alison rubbed her neck. “Granite Ghost? I forgot about that one.” She laughed. “I mostly just call him Dad when I yell at him, but my mo…my aunt calls him a dumbass. Maybe we can call him the ‘Granite Dumbass?’”

  The other girl’s eyes were saucers. “I still… Just, woah. I don’t know. My dad’s kind of stern, but he’s not James Brownstone. I don’t even know what I’d do if someone like Brownstone was my dad. I might be afraid to go home.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.”

  Alison smiled softly. “He’s not really like that, though. I guess I’m maybe overreacting.” She shrugged. “He’s tough on bounties, but he’s a good dad. Much better than my biological dad. I know that he loves me, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to want to have a little talk when I get home. I can’t help but be a little scared, even though I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.”

  An empty sedan pulled up to the curb with the Currus logo painted on the side. The woman following the girls didn’t trust autonomous magical vehicles much, but at least there wasn’t a driver to serve as an extra witness.

  The teens’ backs were turned. It was time. The woman moved to the side, so she was outside the angle of the car’s forward cameras.

  You should always be more careful, Alison. Never, ever assume that a crowd of people will protect you. Assumptions can get you killed within seconds.

  The woman closed to within a few yards of the girls and grabbed a small warm capsule from her pocket. She glanced around, waiting a few seconds until no one was looking her way, then a quick flick of the wrist sent the capsule sailing toward Alison’s suitcase.

  It hit the back of the suitcase and melted silently in less than a second. A tiny, wriggling green beetle slipped in through a crack near the hinges.

  Too fucking easy.

  The woman smiled and stepped through the door into the Starbucks. She could use a drink. Her tracker was in place, and her job was done. She could go confront Alison Brownstone at her leisure.

  It was an excellent test to see just how careful Alison and her father were.

  You’ve got a lot of enemies, James Brownstone. You should never forget that, and you should never let your daughter forget it.

  The Black Sun had filled up in the previous hour, though it maintained its standard sausage fest ratio of men to women. More and more men had overheard the conversation and joined the group at the bar, eager to share their befuddlement over women and confusion about how their significant others demonstrated a lack of understanding of men’s behavior.

  A waitress had come in for her shift, but she was eager to stay away from the main bar and all the bitching about how women didn’t understand men.

  As James pondered the various stories and anecdotes offered by his fellow men, a sudden realization struck him. He’d been so focused on Shay’s anger that he’d forgotten that she wasn’t the only woman in his life who’d had a few words to offer about his recent choices.

  Damn. Really don’t want things to be tense when I see Alison.

  “Any of you have kids?” the bounty hunter asked.

  Ramirez and Jackson shook their heads. Tyler looked disgusted by the idea. The other men around were split between shaking their heads and nodding.

  The shaven-headed thug, who had introduced himself as Ralph only a few minutes before, nodded, then shook his head. At this point, he probably had more alcohol than blood in his veins, so his confusion wasn’t surprising.

  James chuckled at the man.

  K2, another bounty hunter, sighed. “I have kids. Two sons. Fucking teenagers. Old enough to be pains in the ass, but not old enough to give me rent money. Think they are big shit, though.” He snorted. “What’s up with them trying to smart off? I bring in bounties for a living. I’m not afraid of two punk-ass kids.”

  “At least they’re sons, so they understand you, and you understand them,” James grumbled. “It would be a lot more confusing if they were daughters. More women to not understand you.”

  “Huh? You got a kid, Brownstone? I didn’t even know that.” K2 chuckled. “Kind of funny to think of an ass-kicker like you as a dad. Guess you’ll have the toughest son in LA.”

  James shrugged. “Working on finalizing an adoption, but not a son. A daughter. A teen.”

  Several of the men winced.

  “Yeah.” The bounty hunter nodded. “I don’t understand half the shit going on with her. Cries when she’s mad. Cries when she’s happy. Wants me to kick ass some days, but wants me to hide and switch jobs on others. To be fair, though, she’s had a tough life. Maybe that’s why she’s like that.”

  K2 laughed. “Doesn’t matter if she had the most normal life in a boring suburb. I would never even try and understand a teenage girl. Might as well ask me to reveal the secret of life.” He put a hand on James’ shoulder. “I feel your pain, Brownstone. You seem like a straight-forward guy, or at least that’s the way you’ve always come off here or when you’re blowing up Harriken buildings.”

  Everyone laughed, but James only offered another grunt.

  “The point is,” K2 continued, “guys like us like to keep things simple, right?” He dropped his hand.

  “Yeah, exactly. That’s how I’ve tried to live my life. Keep it simple, stupid. And I used to be able to until I got involved with all these women.”

  “Keeping things simple is not just about being straightforward.” K2 slammed his fist into his palm. “And when it comes to bounty hunting, that means kicking ass first and asking questions later. That shit doesn’t always work with parenting or women, so parenting a soon-to-be woman’s got to be tough, especially when your woman is giving you shit and being confusing. You’ve got it real bad.”

  James glanced down at his phone. He’d been expecting a message from Heather, but the hacker hadn’t so much as sent him an emoji. Given the nature of her current task, he doubted she was in personal danger, which meant there’d been no movement of the target yet.

  Maybe I got the schedule wrong. Probably should at least clean up a bit before I go face my next serious opponent of the day.

  Tyler rubbed his chin. “Don’t you see what’s going on here, gentlemen? Don’t you see the truth staring us in our faces?” He shook his head. The whiskey had reddened his face.

  Everyone looked his way.

  The bartender gestured grandly. “We’ve got cops here, robbers—"

  Ralph shook his head. “I’m no robber. I kick ass, but I don’t usually take people’s shit. Guess that makes me, what? An assaulter?”

  Tyler gestured toward a few other crimi
nals. “Semantics. Plenty of other robbers here.”

  A couple of other thugs shrugged and grinned.

  “Just saying,” Ralph muttered.

  Tyler rolled his eyes. “Anyway, as I was saying, we’ve got cops, assaulters, robbers, bounty hunter, and bartenders. The point is, we’re all different men with different career paths, and we’re even on different sides of the law. We’re all interested in and deal with different kinds of women of different backgrounds, and yet we all have the same fucking problem. Do you know what that problem is?”

  No one said anything as they stared at Tyler.

  “We’re all fucking clueless about women.” Tyler shook a finger. “We’ve been brought together today by the fact that no matter what we do and how hard we try, our women keep surprising us and making us question the very reality we see before us. Think about that shit, gentlemen. It’s fucked up. It’s almost magic-level fucked up.”

  The motley gathering all nodded and grumbled their agreement. A few people even offered a, “Hell yeah, it’s fucked up.”

  James turned away and let a little smile play on his face. He hadn’t been sure about stopping by the Black Sun earlier, but now he was glad he had. For once in his life, he didn’t feel like such a freak. He’d never been good with people, let alone women, and after finding out he was an alien, he’d assumed that was the reason.

  How could a man born on another world ever hope to understand humanity? That was what he’d wondered. The average Oriceran might be an alien in a sense, but the long-standing ties between their world and Earth made the situation seem different, unlike James and his mysterious amulet.

  But now he was sitting in a bar where half the men admitted to being just as clueless as he was when it came to women. It proved that James wasn’t a freak, or at least not any more of one than a man born on Earth, and that his inability to understand Alison and Shay was more about them being more complicated than him being a dumbass.

  See, Shay? See?

  Heather hadn’t confused him too much yet, but he assumed it was just a matter of time.