Never Kiss A Stranger (A Hot Romantic Comedy)

by Logan Chance

  She pours the bubbly as Poppi walks in and perches on my desk. “Who was that guy Henry had with him?” she asks.

  “Nobody,” I grunt out. “I mean, his name is Ellis.”

  “Doesn’t sound like nobody.” They sip their champagne, eyeing me over the rim.

  I take in a deep breath. “Fine, he’s Henry’s best man.” I drain what’s in my glass. “And he’s kind of the same man who kissed me in the parking lot.”

  “Trellis guy?” Lola asks, completely surprised. “Ellis is the trellis guy?”

  “Oh my god,” Poppi joins in. “Ellis the trellis guy. Trellis Ellis.”

  Ugh. “Yeah.”

  I push back from my desk, and move my head from side to side, cracking my neck and trying my best to loosen these tense muscles.

  “What are you going to do?” Lola asks.

  “What do you mean? I’m going to do nothing and pretend it never happened.”

  “Damn, and I was going to ask you if he was single.” Lola fake frowns.

  “Well, what do you mean was? You can date him. I don’t care.” Think they believe me?

  “I’m not dating him after you’ve had your lips all over him.”

  “I haven’t had my lips all over him.” I think back to our kiss. “Just slightly on him.”

  “You totally have a crush on him, don’t you?” Poppi’s face dares me to deny it.

  “I do not.” I cross my arms. “I’m getting married to Henry, remember? And he’s perfect for me.” He really is. I’m trying to remember all the ways he’s just so perfect for me, but I can’t think of any right now. These girls have me all flustered. I turn away from them and shut down the computer.

  My mind is scrambled like eggs, unable to even hold a thought together.

  “So you wouldn’t mind if Lola dated him?” Poppi challenges.

  I don’t dare look at them. “Nope, not at all.”

  “No, it’s ok,” Lola says. “I was only teasing.”

  Honestly, I’m kind of wondering if Ellis is single too. Damn traitorous mind. I hate that I’m wondering about this.

  Poppi gathers our glasses and throws them in the trash. “You better get moving if you’re going to meet Henry for dinner,” she says.

  “Henry?” I ask, absentmindedly. “Oh, right. Henry.” My fiancé. We have plans at an Italian restaurant, because spaghetti is my favorite. I remember when he and I made the plans, I suggested a new little Thai place, but Henry said Italian is always the best selection.

  Now that I think of it, I compromised and said we could try Thai next time. I’m always compromising. We gather our things and I can barely focus on my friends chatter as I lock up.

  Wonder if Henry will bring Ellis? No, stop that right now, Kiki. No more of this. I need to tell Henry the kiss bandit was his friend.

  My mind keeps replaying how Ellis’ eyes appeared sad when he found out I was Henry’s fiancée. I hate to admit it, but I was a little sad to have him find out too.

  “Any word from the farmer, yet?” Lola asks, on our way out, reminding me I’m still waiting on a goat to poop out my ring.

  “Nothing yet. I guess my ring made him constipated.”

  “I’m sure he’ll poop soon,” the always optimistic Lola singsongs.

  “If he doesn’t, does that mean the wedding is off?” Poppi asks.

  We laugh, but as I drive away, a minuscule part of me finds myself hoping Peter won’t poop it out.

  Ellis isn’t with Henry when I arrive at the restaurant and I can’t believe there’s a small ounce of disappointment settled in the pit of my stomach. I shrug it off as I pass by the candlelit tables covered with checkered tablecloths.

  My resolve strengthens to tell Henry as we weave between the diners. I can’t go into a marriage full of lies.

  Henry stands and kisses my cheek. Why does he never kiss my lips? He goes to pull out the chair for me but then stops when he’s distracted by a chime from his phone. He sits. “Did everyone enjoy the dog thing?” he asks, tapping away to whoever sent the message.

  I pull out my own chair. “They did.” Henry glances up and smiles. “Listen, there’s something we need to talk about.”

  He’s back to his phone and I try to think of the best way to tell him about Ellis and me.

  “I think you should know that, well, it wasn’t my fault.” Ugh, I’m botching this and Henry still hasn’t even looked up from his phone. We can come back to this topic.

  “Sorry.” He sets the phone down. “Did everyone enjoy the wedding?”

  My stomach twists tighter than the garlic knot in the bread basket.

  “They did,” I repeat. “I actually just said that. Listen, we need to…” my words fade away as Henry answers a call. He holds his finger up, and then rises and steps away from the table.

  With a sigh, I pick up a buttery garlic knot and stuff a large chunk in my mouth. As I chew, I glance around at all the other couples. Most of the men here are in suits, like Henry, and are all more occupied with their phones than the person with them.

  The women all look like me, trying to make small talk with a man who can’t disconnect from the lifeline in their hand.

  Henry returns, and I just don’t have it in me anymore to tell him about the kiss. It was one senseless kiss that wasn’t my fault, and if Ellis tells him, so be it.

  “Sorry,” Henry says. “Just need to take care of one more thing.”

  I give him a tight smile, not that he’d notice since I’m not a phone, and debate the best way to ask him a few things about Ellis.

  There’s a million questions circulating in my head. Like for starters, who the heck is he? And how does Henry know him?

  And I do need to find out if he’s single...for Lola, of course.

  Maybe he’s mentioned him all the times I’ve drowned out his work stories. Ok, from here on out, I promise never to drown out anything Henry ever says again.

  But, it’s no use because Henry put his phone down and is now saying something to me, and I have no idea what it is.

  Whatever he said, he finds my smile and nod acceptable. I probably just agreed to have spaghetti every day for the rest of our lives. Pull it together, Kiki.

  Henry picks up the leatherbound menu and studies it. “What are you going to have?”

  I can’t even think about food right now, but I open my own and skim the entrees, waiting for an item to pop out at me. “Panzanella, maybe.”

  “But spaghetti is your favorite,” he says, his voice raising an octave.

  “Well, don’t want to over do it,” I throw back with a smile.

  “Ok, I’m getting the chicken piccata.”

  The waiter arrives to take our order and when he’s gone, now is my chance to ask about his friend while Henry is electronic free.

  “So, that man, Ellis, how do you know him?” I ask in a very blasé way. Or at least what I hope is blasé.

  “Old friends from high school.” He shakes his head with a smile as if he’s remembering the good old days. “He moved away right after graduation.”

  “Why?”

  Henry shrugs. “Business. He lives in Atlanta and is only here for a little bit.”

  I shake off the momentary—inappropriate—sadness and remind myself I’m getting married to this man before me. “So, is he single?” My heart flutters inside my chest. That was so hard to ask, even though I know I’m asking for Lola. “Lola had her eye on him.” Come on, I know she didn’t. But, that was such a hard question to ask.

  “I don’t really know, but I’m thinking yes.” Henry appears like he’s on board for Lola and Ellis dating. I wish I could be right there along with him, but for some reason something is holding me back. “We can have a double date,” Henry says.

  I need to think of ways not to be around Ellis, not for more ways to be around him. As soon as the food arrives, I launch into the story about how happy Darlene was with Georgia’s wedding, but most of the conversation falls on deaf ears. Henry is back to tappi
ng away on his phone, and is only half-listening to me again.

  As soon as dinner is over, Henry leads me out of the restaurant with his arm around my shoulders. “It’s still early, why don’t we see what Ellis and Lola are up to now?”

  Every part of me wants to just go home and call it a day, but I send a text to Lola, and of course, she’s up for going out.

  After a few minutes, it’s settled—we’re all hanging out at a tiki bar on the water.

  Henry holds my hand as we make our way the few blocks to the beach and toward the neon sign of Rum Forest Rum. Inside, we squeeze through the people to the back patio where we find a table, surrounded by tiki torches, and wait for Lola and Ellis to arrive. Henry orders our drinks and when my daiquiri arrives, I suck down a healthy portion. Worse comes to worst, I’ll grab a torch and tell Ellis he’s voted off the island.

  My drink is history by the time I spot Lola in an aquamarine sundress, waving and approaching our table.

  “I’m so happy you called,” Lola says, smiling.

  Before she can sit, I pull her away from Henry, who is focused on the big screen TV.

  “It’s a set up,” I whisper.

  Her blue eyes focus on me. “What do you mean? Set up how?”

  Before I can get anymore into telling her it was all Henry’s idea, Ellis strides into the bar, looking like candy on a stick.

  And by the way the women stare at him, they definitely want a lick.

  Henry waves him over. It’s all happening so fast, and Lola’s eyes grow bigger as she connects the dots. I can see it all over her face. And she’s not too happy. I mean, sure, she’s happy to be hanging out, but she’s not on board with this plan.

  “I’m not into Ellis,” she whispers in my ear as soon as all the hellos have taken place and drinks are flowing.

  “Really?” I question her absurdity. In his dark jeans, and simple black t-shirt hugging his biceps, Ellis is the epitome of sexy. If you’re into that kind of thing. Which I’m not. I prefer Henry. I mentally slap myself for that thought.

  Henry and Ellis chat, while Lola and I edge away from them. “I’m sorry. I panicked, ok?” I tell her.

  “Panicked how?”

  “I was asking questions about him at dinner, and well, Henry suggested a double date. And I…”

  “You were trying to cover up.” She points the little black stirrer from her drink at me. “You’ve got it bad.”

  “Do not.” My cheeks heat. “I really don’t.”

  Ellis and Henry close in on us, and I try to look anywhere but at Ellis.

  Finally, I glance up, sneaking a peek at him, and he’s laughing at Henry calling him a player.

  He hasn’t acted in any way for me to suspect he’s a player. Normally, you can spot those types of guys immediately. They usually check out every woman in a bar.

  But, Ellis hasn’t even glanced around. His attention has remained...well, on me. Henry, on the other hand, is acting like a spectator at a museum. He can’t stop his eyes from wandering all over the place. Hm. I’m sure he’s just getting a feel for his environment. Maybe. I slurp down the rest of my second frozen drink and immediately regret it.

  “Brain freeze,” I say, pressing a finger to my temple.

  Henry wraps an arm around me, kissing my forehead. “Isn’t she just adorable?” he says to Ellis.

  Ellis has a beer halfway to his mouth and his green eyes sear into me, melting my brain freeze. “Yeah, she is,” he drawls out, slowly. “Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.”

  Like some voodoo priest, he has now inserted thoughts of his kiss into my brain.

  “Let’s dance,” Lola interrupts our moment, saving me from his hot stare. She grabs my hand and together we mingle into the crowd on the outskirts of the dance floor.

  I close my eyes, letting the music distract me.

  “He can’t stop watching you,” Lola says into my ear.

  My eyes pop open and find Ellis’ in an instant. I turn, so I won’t be forced to look at him as I sway my hips. “I need to tell Henry to find another best man.”

  Lola laughs. “You can’t do that.”

  “Yes, I can.”

  “You’re just gonna have to suck it up and deal with him.”

  “He lives in Atlanta. He’s not in town for very long.”

  Lola shakes her body to the beat. “See, you’ll be fine. Just don’t be alone with him. Ever.”

  I stop dancing. “I can be alone with him. I’m not that crazy that I can’t even be alone with the man.”

  “Well, better not to chance it.”

  “He’s Henry’s friend. Nothing’s going to happen between us.” And I hope I’m right. Because my mind is all over the place.

  I love Henry, don’t I?

  The engagement happened so fast, and I don’t think I ever took the time to process exactly what being married actually means.

  But, I do love him. Don’t I?

  He’s very…work oriented. That’s a great quality. And he doesn’t just randomly kiss people in parking lots making them blush. But he also doesn’t make me feel hot like Ellis is right now. It’s like scorching hot. I’ve heard about someone lighting you on fire, but damn. Feels like my skin is melting. This is so bad.

  Before I can process what this heat means, he’s stalking toward me as Henry chats up the waitress next to them. Actually, it’s more of a run. And then, I’m swept into his arms.

  “Fuck,” he says. “You’re on fire.”

  He doesn’t mean figuratively. I’m literally on fire. They should have a warning sign by the tiki torches for buzzed people like me.

  Lola gasps and tosses her drink on my skirt just before Ellis’ hands fondle my thighs putting out the small flame but creating a raging wildfire within me. I’ve really got to stop with these cliché comparisons.

  His warm fingers graze against my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps. “You’re ok,” he assures me, rising from his crouched position. “Just a little charred.”

  He steps back and grazes his teeth over his bottom lip before abruptly turning and crossing to Henry who is oblivious to the fact his fiancée was nearly just roasted.

  As I watch Ellis walk away, I realize I’m not ok at all.

  SEVEN

  Ellis

  Never trust a flame...

  I should leave. Seriously. I should. When Henry texted me earlier about meeting up, I didn’t think that meant with him and...her.

  The same her I can’t stop thinking about.

  But, I need to. Because she’s the most off-limits person in the universe for me right now. It’s obvious tonight’s a set-up with her blonde friend.

  And Lola seems nice. But, there’s just something about Kiki. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

  “Thanks for coming out tonight, man,” Henry says, clapping his hand on my shoulder. “And for saving my bride-to-be.”

  I smile. “Don’t mention it.” I feel like telling him next time maybe a head’s up if he plans on bringing the fiancée.

  But, I don’t want to be one of those guys. I need to squash whatever feeling this is I’m having for Kiki into the ground. And get my head in the game.

  “Kiki’s great,” he nods in her direction, “but she has me doing all this wedding stuff that I just don’t have time for.”

  “Like what?”

  Henry leans closer. “Flowers and cake and shit. She wants me involved every step of the way.”

  “And you don’t want to be?” I ask.

  “It’s not that. I just don’t have time. I’m going for partner at the investment firm I work for. They’re looking for a very specific type of candidate. They want a married, dedicated, solid man. Team player...you know what I mean, right?”

  “Yeah, I get it.” My eyes travel to Kiki on the dancefloor and I feel odd about watching her shake her ass with Henry standing right next to me. “Speaking of...I was wondering if your firm would be interested in helping out our brewery.”

  Henry�
�s eyes light up. “Absolutely. You help me out with wedding bullshit, I’ll help you out by investing.”

  Just what I wanted to hear. And besides, I need to find a reason not to like Kiki. Maybe if I spend more time with her I’ll see how perfect she is for Henry, and I’ll be able to stop with this little fantasy obsession I have about her. “Perfect, then I’m your man,” I hear myself say before I’ve fully thought it through.

  Henry’s eyes light up. “Really? I love this.” He shakes my hand.

  I shrug. “Why not, I’ve got a little time on my hands.” The brewery is top priority, so what’s a few hours here and there so I can get this Kiki out of my mind and possibly garner points with Henry to put The Bearded Goat into the ‘exclusive’ category.

  Henry pats me on the back. “I really appreciate it.” He nods toward the girls. “That Lola is pretty, huh?”

  I take a swig of my beer. “Sure.” I couldn’t even tell you Lola’s eye color. But I can tell you how Kiki’s are the color of caramel with golden flecks around the iris. Ridiculous, I know.

  The girls stop dancing and rejoin us. Henry kisses Kiki on the cheek. It’s a little odd to me that they aren’t a touchy-feely kind of couple. My mind suddenly transports to the other day when my lips were on hers. I set my beer down. “I’ll be back.” I have to get away from her for a minute.

  I head off in search of the restroom, so I can clear my head.

  Before I can even make it to the back of the place, there’s a tap on my shoulder. I spin around and am met by those hypnotizing eyes of Kiki’s.

  Does she even know how pretty her eyes are?

  “Henry just told me you’ll be helping me pick out flowers. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t need your help.”

  I cross my arms. “That so?”

  “Yes.” She nods. “Furthermore, I don’t think you and I should be hanging around one another.”

  “I disagree.” How else am I supposed to woo Henry?

  “What?” Her cute little button nose turns up in disgust. “I don’t need you.”

  I step closer, so a man can get by us in the narrow hallway. Kiki’s back presses against the wall and her eyes challenge mine. “I think you’ll need me.” I don’t mean to sound so sexual, but my god, she’s making this so hard. I mean, difficult.