Teach Me Your Love

by Rita Hestand

  "Was that a sin too?"

  "I'm not sure. I only know he didn't kiss me on the lips. There was no romance. Even if he had said he loved me, I doubt I would have believed him."

  He nodded. "Aw… you wanted romance!"

  "Don't make fun." She pleaded. "Not with every man, just my husband."

  "I am sorry. Tell me, can this thing called love be learned?"

  "Learned? No, it has to be felt!" she was more distraught than ever. Was he teasing her, trying to make her laugh? For she did grin a bit.

  "Then teach me!" he insisted. "Teach me your love." He said boldly with a curl to his lips.

  "It can't be taught. It must come from your heart." She touched his chest. "Desire and lust are one thing. That is not from the heart. Love is quite another. Love is the feeling you get when you miss someone badly. When you ache to be with them. When you look into their eyes and can see that same feeling. When they want to kiss you and hold you. And you want the same. When they want to please you all the time. John wasn't like that. I missed those things. My sisters had them. Even as a young child I remember it. I remembered how they'd swoon from a kiss, how their eyes lit up when their beaus brought flowers to them. How they were in awe of their wedding rings. I missed all of that with John. He simply did not believe in any of it."

  "Have you felt this love before?" He asked with a teasing glint.

  "No… " she sighed. "I haven't, but a friend of mine told me. And I saw all my sisters and how they were treated. I grew up thinking that was the way it would be. I thought it would happen to me when I was to marry. It didn't. I suppose the disappointment started this gap between us. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I am materialistic. I don't know."

  He looked at her hand. She moved it away quickly.

  She turned away, exasperated at trying to make him understand.

  "When my people need something, I find it, hunt it, go get it, it is theirs. So, if you want this thing called love, I will find it, you will have it, and we will make a son."

  "It sounds so simple, but it isn't. All those things I just mentioned, were not forced upon the men. They felt it with their hearts. I fear that you misunderstand me, it would be impossible to make it happen!" she told him and began making supper for them. "All those things come from the heart, because they want to please the girl. And likewise, the girl wants to please her man."

  "What would the girl do to please the man?"

  "Kiss him, be with him, understand him, do little things to make him happy. Cook his favorite meal, make him something special. I remember my sister making a shirt for her beau and he loved it so much. Little things can mean a lot."

  He came closer, lifted her chin once more and stared into her light brown eyes, pushing her dark hair from her face. "You have many strange thoughts. You do not like your husband's religion. You do not like Indians. You want this thing called love. If you do not show love from your heart how do you expect to find it?" Then he walked away, leaving her startled. It was the one thing he said that was so very right.

  How could he not understand love, and yet, understand the concept of it?

  She put her hands on her hips and concluded, "He's not some dumb Indian." She murmured to herself. "He just wants me to think he is. He knows what I'm saying." She gasped. "He does understand!"

  Chapter Five

  "I must tell you of the ceremony."

  She stopped preparing the meal breakfast to listen. "Alright."

  "To begin, I must bring either one horse, if you accept me as your husband, you will feed and water the horse, or two horses showing I don't have your consent. Which will it be?"

  She sighed, "Since I have no choice one horse will be sufficient."

  "Good. I will bring him this morning. You must feed and water him, so the tribe sees this, that you consent."

  "Fine."

  "You could be happier about it." He smiled sympathetically.

  "Could I?"

  He nodded and lifted her chin to meet his gaze, "I promise to always protect you, to be gentle with you, to care for you in every way."

  She started to say something, but he walked off and left to bring the horse.

  She went outside later and saw a beautiful black stallion. She touched his nose and smiled. "You're a beauty." She told the horse.

  She watered him and fed him and some of the tribe saw and smiled at her. The tribe was obviously happy she consented.

  Why would they care?

  It seemed a strange thing for her to do, but there would be less hassle from the tribe if she willingly married Red Elk, so she complied. She didn't want trouble.

  That same morning, three Indian maidens came to his wickiup to get her. They were older, and they knew what they were doing. She was taken to a grassy spot where a huge barrel full of water sat. It was on the creekbank. They disrobed her, with her shouting her protests. They pointed to the barrel, she was to bath. With a sense of reluctance, she got in.

  They dunked her down several times, then they handed her some strange looking foamy thing, and showed her to put it in her hair. It smelled kind of nice, so she put it on her hair, it foamed, and she washed with it. She smiled at them, they smiled back.

  Strange, but it was like they actually had manners.

  Was it as easy as that to get along with these people? They were so different from the Comanche. When she cooperated, they smiled. So, if she tried to get along with them, they would be happy with her. It was logical, she thought, and she wanted to get along with these people as she might be here a while, a long while.

  What Red Elk had said stuck in her mind, 'If you want this thing called love, you have to show it from your heart'.

  Yes, you did to everyone.

  Suddenly she turned around to look at the women and there behind them were two Mexican men, they had evil looking smiles on their faces and they had guns with full ammunitions on their belts. She gasped. The women looked startled and moved away. Her eyes got big and round as she stared at them and sunk down in the barrel.

  "Praise the saints, Amigo, look what we have found!" the dirty looking man stared at Naomi, as she half turned in the tub and grabbed herself. She ducked down in the water.

  "Get out Senorita and let us have a look at you!" the big one demanded with an ugly smile that spoke of desires. When he opened his mouth, he displayed a mouth full of yellow teeth. His whiskers were dirty, and he stunk as he came closer.

  The other man shook his head. "We have no time for this… "

  "We will take the time Amigo. How can we pass her up? She is beautiful, no?" his eyes went over Naomi with a wicked thoroughness.

  "Si, but we are to scout the village, not take the women. Every time we come across the border the men get tangled up raping the women. It is nonsense, we can get our women in the cantinas."

  "We may rape the women, remember. And she's a woman. She doesn't belong here. She's white! What would they be doing with a white woman?" The big one stared at her. Naomi sunk into the barrel once more. "We could take her to Mexico and sell her. She would bring a hefty price."

  The other Mexican looked at her, "You are right about that. Perhaps we do have time." The smaller man nodded. "Let us take her and the horses and get out of here."

  The big one approached the barrel and Naomi's eyes widened with pure fear. He grabbed her hair and pulled her by the head. She hid herself as best she could as he tugged her hair until it hurt. He started to put his hand in the water.

  "You're hurting me," she yelled.

  "Then get out of there, Senorita." He told her.

  "I will not, sir!" she yelled.

  "Then I will pull you out."

  One of the women came closer now.

  Suddenly Red Elk came up to them. He shot the man closest to Naomi and shouted, "Get your dirty hands off my wife."

  The big Mexican turned and fell. The little one pulled his gun, but he was too late too, as Red Elk loaded another arrow and stared directly into the little Mexican's
eyes.

  "She is a white woman, what is she doing in your village?" The little one asked.

  He drew his pistol.

  "You ask too many questions. This is our village not yours." Red Elk shot him with his bow and arrow before the man could fire his weapon.

  It was over in a flash

  Naomi stared, her eyes big as saucers. He shot her a quick glance then had some other men pick up the bodies.

  He left without a word to her.

  The other women quickly dried her off and put her wedding dress on her. It was so beautiful, Naomi found it hard to object, she hadn't had a fancy dress in a long time. It was a treat. She stared at the two dead men, the Indian women paid them no mind.

  She watched as two braves took the bodies away. Why had Red Elk killed them?

  He walked away, his expression somber.

  She was as guilty as John in some ways, she was ignorant, perhaps more so than Red Elk. Perhaps he wasn't ignorant at all, maybe it was just her.

  But she felt she was learning. And today was the day she should put John away for good. For she knew that no white man would have her, after marrying an Indian. Even if he was a breed.

  She thought about what he said, and realized that because she was here, she brought this on them. They died because she was here, she was white, and if anyone knew, there would no longer be a peace here in this camp. Their deaths were necessary, to keep the peace.

  She reasoned that they didn't belong here in this village. But the bigger question was, did she?

  She was marrying a half breed Indian today. My God! No one at home would believe this possible. And Red Elk was right, her people would shun her for marrying an Indian, even if he was a breed!

  The maidens guided her to a wickiup, where they did her hair in braids. They gave her a pretty necklace of turquoise and smiled when they were done.

  After that she was led out and they put a blue blanket around her shoulders. She took it off, and they put it back on, the oldest of the maidens sent her a scowl. She kept it around her then. She had no idea what it was for, it wasn't cold outside, it was nice out. At least she thought it was, she hadn't been able to keep track of time since she left the Comanche camp. It was warming up now it had to be getting close to summer. The heat here was not like Texas, it was drier air.

  They led her to where Red Elk stood, in a white deerskin shirt and leggings. He looked gorgeous, his tan skin standing out against the white of the deerskin. He took her breath away. The shirt outlined his physique, and his face was serene, but his mouth quirked with approval when he saw her.

  "You look beautiful," he murmured for her ears alone as the women pushed her to stand beside him now.

  It seemed strange that he would say that.

  He had killed two men only an hour before and he stood there talking about how beautiful she looked.

  Was life so inconsequential? But it was a wedding, her wedding!

  The ceremony was beginning now, and she quickly realized what it meant.

  The ceremony was short, as they drank from a two spouted vase, a prayer was said, songs were sung, and a dance was performed for them and someone took their blankets from them and put a white blanket around their shoulders together.

  They walked away, Red Elk sat her upon a white stallion and he walked the horse away. Everyone watched and chanted a lovely song.

  It was a long walk to another wickiup, one that was secluded and protected by several braves.

  He took her inside and took the blanket from her, folding it neatly and putting it away from them.

  There was a beautiful blanket on the floor and he motioned for her to sit down. Much food was brought, and they nibbled as they talked.

  ~~***~~

  "Now we are married," he said quietly, as though he was waiting to hear her tirade of objections. She said nothing at first, she looked a bit bashful, maybe even a bit scared.

  Finally, standing the silence no longer she asked. "Why did you do this," she whispered as though someone might overhear her.

  "My reason to begin with was that I want a son."

  "You could have taken me at any time. Why go through all of this?" Her voice was low now.

  "You did not like your Mor… "

  "Mormon." She smirked.

  "Yes, Mormon husband, because he lied to you and brought other wives. I do not lie. I tell you what I want, but in turn I give you the gift of marriage. I do not 'take' as you call it." He said, helping himself to some fruit that was put out for them. "I will wait until I am invited."

  "And if I don't invite you?"

  He crooked his head with a sexy smile, "I sincerely hope I can change your mind about that."

  "I suppose…that is gallant of you…" she murmured. "I want to know why you killed those Mexicans?"

  "This is not the day to speak of it."

  "Please. I need to understand. I think it was because of me. Because I'm white and here, wasn't it?"

  He nodded with a slight frown. "Yes. Alright. They would have raped you and thought nothing of it. They come to spy and check out our people in camp. They would carry news of a white woman in our camp to their leader. If I hadn't come, they would have taken you to Mexico with them and sold you into a slavery you would certainly have fought. You would die an early death. I had to kill them, they are our enemy. They have always been our enemy. Even the soldiers understand this. Naomi when an enemy walk boldly into an Indian camp, he risks his life. I would never let them hurt you. Nor steal you away. For your fate with them would be worse than with me or the Comanche. And I must tell you…" he hesitated as he stared at her. "The old women there with you, they would have tried to kill the men, or die for you. They all carry knives and know how to use them. You probably didn't see it, but the oldest one had hers drawn and was very close to using it on the one that pulled your hair. She would never have permitted them to take you out of that barrel."

  "Why?" she gasped, and her eyes rounded on him. "Why would they risk their lives…?"

  "Because a bride will suffer all the days of her life if something evil happens to her on her wedding day. Perhaps that is superstition, but they believe it. So, they carry the knives to protect and defend. So, they would have protected you, had I not."

  "I can't believe they would do that for me?"

  "For you or any bride."

  "Is it a custom or something?"

  "No, not exactly, but we had one really bad incident years ago when they came and took so many of our women. Seven women were taken to Mexico. After that day, the women agreed that they would fight them themselves than let them take a maiden. They had knives in their clothes, hidden. When he pulled your hair and tried to yank you out of that tank, I was blinded with an anger I seldom feel. When they come on our land, and hurt our people, I will kill then… And so, will those women. We will not let them come here and hurt our people again. We will defend."

  "Do they come often?"

  "No, but enough to keep us on a vigil. When they first came, they stole some of our women, they took them to Mexico and we never got them back. We swore then to never let them leave alive. We know what they want, and we take care of it."

  "Why did they come. They couldn't have known I was here?"

  "They come across the border to steal our horses and rape our women. I will not allow that. But I will never allow them to carry news of you to their camps. It would mean your death for sure and maybe ours. But I heard their plan to take you with them and sell you. I would have followed forever to find you. You must know this."

  What he said warmed her heart. Not just Red Elk, but the elder women who would defend her. They barely knew her, but they were ready to die for her.

  Naomi felt a strange emotion building in her heart. He was a brave warrior and a fierce protector of women.

  She hadn't expected his reaction, and it warmed her to know he would go to such lengths to keep her safe.

  "Why do they come here, you are peaceful. You don't war with
anyone. Why bother you?"

  "They rarely ride this far north, they usually stay close to the border, but sometimes they come and when they do, we kill them. They are our enemy. It is like an unwelcome bug, they are annoying and cause problems, so you kill them."

  "They would have raped me?" she swallowed hard.

  "Yes, without hesitation. But worse still, they would sell you into human bondage. I could not allow that."

  "You know this for a fact?"

  "Yes, I do. We searched for weeks for the women they took. But we never found them."

  "Then I thank you. But I must ask you something."

  "Ask."

  "You are obviously a kind and peaceful man. You seem to want to do things right all the time. But you could have easily had your way with me, and you didn't. Why did you marry me? When you could have so easily taken me for what you want."

  "Honestly?"

  "Yes, honestly."

  "To honor you." He shook his head. "I am a breed, and not many maidens want me as a husband." He chuckled. "I am not considered a grand catch by the women of my tribe. You do not shun me as a husband, but as an Indian. The white part of me wants to protect you, the Indian part of me wants to claim you as my own."

  She gasped softly. "I find it very hard to believe that women don't fall at your feet." she blurted. "You are very handsome."

  He sent her a sexy smile.

  "Thank you. I did not expect a compliment from my bride so quickly. And you are right, I could have. But you are white, and I am part white. The white part of me could not simply make you my slave. And Indian woman would accept slavery. Not a white woman. She would become bitter and resentful. That is not a beautiful thing for a woman to be. You are very beautiful Naomi, but I don't think you realizes it."

  She hung her head, blushing from the compliment she hadn't expected. Then her topaz eyes stared up at him and admitted. "The only man that ever said that to me was my father."

  "That is very sad, for I do not lie. Your beauty comes from outside and inside your heart. And that makes you more beautiful than you could ever imagine."

  She stared, a tear in the corner of her eye. "No one has said things like this before to me."