by Mariah Stone
Craig nodded.
“So she’s staying with you—forever?” Kate said.
“Aye.”
Ian looked at Kate, and she returned his gaze, which was full of sadness. “I’m envious,” she said. “I can’t.”
Ian’s jaws played, pain thundering in his eyes.
“Let us go, lass.” He turned to Craig and Owen. “I must deliver her to Inverlochy. She needs to return home.”
Both men nodded in understanding.
Kate’s throat clenched. “To Inverlochy?” She swallowed to relieve the feeling of sandpaper in her mouth. “Already?”
“Aye. Fortifications will arrive soon, and I’ll be needed here again to throw this attack back. We’ll have to call the MacKenzies and other allies for help.”
He took her by the elbow and led her towards the horse.
“Goodbye, lass,” Owen cried after her.
“Take care of her!” Craig added.
Kate’s heart sank. This was it. She needed to go back to her duty, too. And sacrifice her happiness.
They came to the horse. “You’re right,” she said. “It’s just that I thought we’d have more time…”
He shook his head and looked down, hunching. “I had hoped for more time with ye, too, Katie. But we both kent this wouldna be forever. I promised ye. ’Tis time.”
He was right, damn it. Of course he was right. She was so caught in the ocean of happiness and joy with him, in a little honeymoon. But Deli Luck was about to go bankrupt and Mandy and Jax still needed her.
And now he’d need to leave his people during a difficult time for her. She couldn’t give him more concerns than he already had.
Kate took a step back.
“Look, I can go myself then,” she said. “Your people still need you.”
“The battle is almost over, lass. Owen and Craig are handling it. We won. The Sassenachs are fleeing.”
Kate fiddled with her hands.
“If there’s no more danger, I can go alone.”
“There’s nae way I’m letting ye go alone.”
“I don’t want to burden you with my troubles. Clearly, you have more things to think about here.”
“Ye are nae burden, Katie,” he said, his tone almost angry. “Now stop yer ninnying and let us go.”
And let us get this over with, said his tone. He most definitely wanted to get rid of her, the sooner the better. Even if he did have some feelings for her, they both knew their relationship would never last forever. He could go on with his life then. He’d come back from the dead, and now he had a second chance at life. And she wasn’t part of it.
Anyway, she had her own life to go on with. Her own people to take care of and save. He had done his duty. It was time for her to do hers, no matter how heartbreaking.
Kate nodded. “All right, Ian. Let’s go. You’re right—the sooner I leave the better.”
Chapter 28
Thor’s powerful body moved steadily under Ian, and Kate sat in front of him, distracting him in all kinds of delicious ways. Her lush arse between Ian’s thighs, she was warm and precious pressed against his torso. Every rub of their bodies, every touch, every slide was an exquisite torture.
They’d traveled the whole day after the battle at the farm, slept in the woods, then rode another day and another night, and had been on the horse half the day today. The wind was strong, and it murmured in the branches of the trees. Stern rocks watched them go. The birds were silent, and there were no animal tracks that Ian could see. Every living creature had probably been scared off by the English forces as they had moved through.
Ian leaned forward and, without touching Kate’s head, closed his eyes and inhaled the smell of her hair. He tried to memorize the scent. These would be the last days he’d spend with her, and there couldn’t be enough lifetimes.
She’d mostly been silent, and he didn’t want to push her to talk to him. They’d slept under his cloak last night to keep warm, but he’d dared not kiss her or caress her. He’d barely slept since the night he’d attacked her in his sleep, not wanting to start dreaming, terrified he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from hurting Kate again. Lying awake next to her, being enveloped in her sweet scent and doing nothing, was a hot agony.
It was better this way, anyway, keeping his distance. What was he thinking? He should have never fallen for her, should have never let them grow close. He was about to deliver her to Inverlochy, where she’d go back to her own time. There could never be a future for them. Even if she didn’t need to leave, a killer like him would never deserve a lifetime with her. She wouldn’t want to tie herself to him forever, and he’d never let her ruin her life by doing so.
They hadn’t stopped yet for their midday meal. “Lass, are ye hungry?” Ian asked.
Kate nodded. “Sure. I could eat.”
“Aye.” He spotted a small clearing between two trees ahead of them to his right.
When they were on the ground, Ian set about making a fire. They still had the last pieces of oatcakes from home and the roasted fish Ian had caught yesterday.
“I’ll warm this up,” Ian said.
“I can do it,” Kate said.
“Dinna fash yerself, Katie.”
She looked down. “Thanks, Ian.”
They ate in silence, and its heavy weight hung between them. He hated it. After what he’d confided in her, and after he’d gotten to know her better, this felt unnatural. He wanted to ask more about her, what she liked to do when she wasn’t working, what she hoped to do with her inn. The thought of a woman managing an inn by herself was strange, but he respected her strength and determination. Knowing how well she cooked, he did not understand how it could be failing.
Ian shamelessly devoured Kate’s every movement with his eyes. Her bonnie face as she ate, the way she held the fish as she took her bites. Her posture, the curves of her breasts under her dress as she leaned forward to avoid fish juice dripping on her. So graceful in every movement.
“How long till Inverlochy, do you think?” Kate said when she had finished and wiped her fingers on the cloth.
Inverlochy… The word pulled him out of the sweet trance of watching her. “We’ll be there tonight,” he said.
“Tonight?” Her face twitched, as if in shock.
“Aye, lass, ’tis our destination. Ye seem surprised.”
“I thought it would take longer, that’s all,” she said coldly. “Excuse me if I cannot read the horse’s mileage per hour.” She stood up. “Let’s go then. Why wait?”
Ian’s gut twisted painfully. Why, indeed? While he wanted every moment with her to stretch into eternity, all she wanted was to be gone.
He stood up as well. “Thor needs rest. So do ye. Ye must be hurting all over from two days on the horse’s back. Are ye so eager to leave?”
She crossed her arms. “I am, of course I am. I’m not going to restrict you any more than necessary. In fact, why don’t I continue the rest of the way on my own?”
“What?” He frowned.
She clearly couldn’t stand a moment longer with him. His cold-blooded killings had finally gotten to her.
“Look, I release you from your obligation of honor or whatever still keeps you with me. I can make it on my own now, if it’s only a few hours of walking.”
“Ye think I’m taking ye because I feel obliged?”
“Obviously.”
“Lass, I do feel obliged to protect ye, but ’tisna why I’m taking ye to Inverlochy. If I could, I would have kept ye with me forever.”
Her eyes widened. “Don’t feel like you owe it to me to be courteous, Ian. You probably think you need to protect my feelings after what I’ve told you about my childhood, but really, I’m fine. It’s not the first time I’ve been unwanted. I know the signs. I’m fine.”
“Unwanted? I couldna have possibly wanted anyone or anything more than I want ye.”
Kate hugged herself, tears glistened in her eyes. Ian covered the space between them in three ste
ps and grasped her upper arms.
“Stop this at once,” he said. “I want ye. I love ye. Ye’re a treasure. Ye’re like the source of life to me.”
She blinked, staring at him with a mixture of hope and disbelief.
“Then why are you chasing me away?” she whispered.
“Because ye dinna belong here, lass. Ye belong to the world with great healers, the world where women own inns, the world where majestic iron creatures fly in the air and light comes to life with the movement of a finger.”
His lungs squeezed. He didn’t say the main reason, and it weighed deep inside of him like a sack of rocks.
“I need to go back for my sister and my nephew. Not for the conveniences. I couldn’t care less about conveniences. If I was happy with someone, I’d give up all that…”
Her voice trailed off. She cupped his jaw, and he leaned into her soft, warm hand.
“You know that, Ian, don’t you?” she asked.
He swallowed a painful knot in his throat. “Aye, I ken ye would. But I wouldna have allowed ye to stay anyway. Nae for me.”
“Of course for you. Who else would I stay for then?”
He shook his head. “Nae for me, lass. ’Tis right that ye’re leaving. There is nae future for us—nae in this century, nae in the future. Ye’re too good for a man like me, after what I’ve done.”
Her face went blank. “I’m too good? Ian, we’ve talked about it, it’s not…”
“Aye, ’tis. A man like me, a cold-blooded killer, I must be punished, Katie. God must punish me. He canna allow me to take so many lives, then find the biggest treasure in this life and just be happy. ’Tisna how life works. ’Tisna how I am going to accept it. And I wouldna wish ye to spend the rest of yer life with someone like me.”
Kate shook her head. “Ian, stop blaming yourself for this. You can’t keep punishing yourself your whole life.”
“I will never be whole, lass. Ye’re better off without me. I canna make ye happy. I dinna deserve ye, and I dinna want to make ye miserable.”
“You don’t need to be whole to be happy with someone, Ian,” she whispered. “You just need to find someone who helps to fill your broken parts.”
Ian’s head spun from the healing promise in her words. He leaned down to kiss her, but a sharp pain in his shoulder threw him back.
He looked up.
It took him less than a moment to evaluate the situation. An arrow pointed at him from behind a tree. There must have been another one that grazed him. Swords glistened here and there among the trees—five or six.
His muscles stiffened momentarily, fire rushing through his veins. Then his instincts took over, kicking fear away. He grabbed Kate and launched for a tree, shielding her with his body.
An arrow hit the place where they’d just stood. Ian cursed and looked carefully from behind the trunk.
“Ian, you’re hurt,” Kate said.
The English. Five swordsmen and an archer. Their hair was singed, the edges of their tunics black and sooty. They must have come from the farm. Had they tracked Ian and Kate?
“’Tis a scratch.”
“It’s not nothing—” Kate said, but Ian interrupted her, turning to her and looking deeply into her eyes.
“Lass, listen. Ye follow every word I say if ye want us both to survive this. There are six of them. All warriors. Where’s yer dagger?”
She paled even more and reached for the dagger, which was in the sheath on her belt.
“Good. Take it out and remember what I taught ye. They have no armor, they’re survivors from the farm.”
He glanced to the left, where Thor grazed, away from the camp. If he dealt with the enemy quickly, they’d have a chance to run for Thor and—
But they didn’t have a chance. Not with six against one.
The only chance was for Kate to go alone.
“Ye have to promise me, lass,” Ian said. “If ye see me fall or if I tell ye, run to Thor and get away. Go alone to Inverlochy.”
“No, Ian! Never.”
“Aye. Promise. If ye care at all about me, run.”
“I can help you—”
“Nae, ye canna. We’re losing time. Promise. Now.”
Her chin shook, and her neck became red and blotchy.
“Ian, no—”
He already hated himself for the pain his words would bring her.
“Ye are a burden to me,” he said. “I canna protect us both now. If ye want to help me, ye must go.”
She gasped without a sound. Pain distorted her face, and her eyes filled with tears. She shrank visibly, her shoulders curling inward. Her hand clutched her stomach.
Ian’s fists clenched helplessly. He wanted to hit himself for hurting her like that. But it was for the best. It was to keep her alive. He would likely die now. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being left alone to them.
“Promise,” Ian hissed. When she said nothing, he pressed. “Relieve me of yer burden. Now.”
She looked down and hunched.
“Yes,” Kate said. “I’ll go.”
Ian breathed out. “Thank ye.”
He looked from behind the tree again. The English were advancing towards them. He had to protect her.
He looked over his shoulder at her. “When I tell ye to go, ye go. Ye promised me. Aye?”
Kate nodded solemnly, hurt and fear in her eyes. He nodded back. Then he turned to his attackers, unsheathed his claymore and went.
He didn’t even have time for a prayer. Just the war cry must do. “Cruachan!”
They looked surprised as he launched at them, probably because he attacked them alone instead of running. Ian used that surprise to his advantage. He slid to the left, slicing the outermost man’s side, then ran farther behind them, making them turn around away from Kate.
Five.
The bowman shot, his arrow missing Ian by an inch. One of the swordsmen came at him. They clashed together in a scrape of iron against iron. The man attacked swiftly, but he wasn’t experienced. Ian slashed him in the chest, and he fell. Two more came.
They were different. Heavy bangs met Ian’s sword from both sides, and he barely jumped back in time to avoid the soldiers’ following thrusts.
It was when the third man joined, and arrows continued to fly at him, barely missing him, that he knew that he was finished.
“Goooooo!” he yelled as he danced with death.
A flash of gold and gray in his side vision told him Kate ran. Iron-hot pain burst in his side—he’d missed the thrust of a sword as he’d allowed himself one look at her.
She was on Thor, staring at him.
“Go, my love,” he mouthed, and resumed the fight with double the strength. He couldn’t let them see her.
“Ye bastarts!” he cried, calling on the reserves of his strength.
And with the sound of hooves fading away, he sank into the bloody sea of battle rage.
Chapter 29
Kate let Thor lead the way down the path. Her eyes burning, she swallowed the tears as the woods around her blurred in flashes of dark green and brown.
Ye are a burden to me, rang in her head. Relieve me of yer burden.
And then, Gooooooo!
Her chest was on fire. Her stomach a bottomless pit. Her worst fear had come true—he’d said she was a burden. Before, he’d said he loved her. He’d said she was a treasure, making her whole world light up like fireworks.
No one had ever said they loved her before.
Not her parents. Not her sister. Not a man.
No one.
Hearing those words, it had felt as though he’d been saying them to someone else. Like he looked at her, but he actually meant another person.
As it turned out, she had been right about that all along. He didn’t love her. He only needed a clear conscience, only wanted to be kind to her. Because he was a kind man. A strong, wonderful, kind man. Bigger than life. Stronger than death. Greater than slavery.
Unbreakable.
Until now.
She’d left him to fight four people. Four! He was already wounded. What chance did he have?
In her mind’s eye, Kate saw Ian lying on the ground, blood on his face and a gaping wound in his chest. Dead.
Pain tore her apart at the image, like a bomb exploding, shredding her to pieces. A world without Ian wasn’t a world worth living in. She loved him. Even if he didn’t—even if he’d never—love her.
She loved him.
Love unraveled in her heart, a mixture of unearthly lightness and wrenching pain. There was nothing more important than keeping him alive. Not that he’d hate her if she came back. Not that she had any idea what she’d actually be able to do against warriors. Not that she might get hurt herself.
All that mattered was that Ian survive.
“Thor, stop!” she commanded.
But he continued his stride. Remembering what Ian had taught her to do when driving the cart, Kate pulled on the reins—lightly at first, then stronger. Thor slowed down, then stopped.
“Good boy,” she said and patted him on the neck. “Now, let’s go back.”
She pulled the reins all the way to the left. Thor turned his head left but didn’t walk.
“Left, Thor!” Kate cried desperately.
She had no idea how long they had ridden, but she knew they were losing precious time.
“Your master needs you, Thor,” she whispered. She kept holding the left rein, and Thor kept looking left. Then he took one tentative step.
“Yes, good boy. Keep going!”
She pressed her left leg to his side.
He walked left!
“Oh, yes!” Kate exclaimed.
She released her pull and her leg when Thor turned and faced the way they had come from. She squeezed his sides with her legs, and made a “tsk, tsk” sound, something she’d seen and heard Ian do. Thor was a good horse—he obeyed her signal and sped up a little.
“Oh, Thor, well done!” Kate kept saying under her breath, amazed she had any control over him.
They strode for a while, Kate shivering from the images of Ian being hurt that flashed through her mind from time to time, blinding her. She tried to concentrate on the road, on not falling from Thor’s back. Thankfully, he didn’t need much direction and followed the path.
