by Mariah Stone
What felt like an eternity later, she heard them. Screams, groans of pain, and iron clashing against iron. Her pulse accelerated. He was still fighting. He was still alive!
She stopped Thor, who obeyed her at once, luckily, and jumped down rather awkwardly, twisting her ankle a little. Pain stabbed her, but she could still walk, and she limped as silently as she could towards the sounds of a fight.
She removed the dagger from her belt and held it like Ian had taught her—easily but securely. She breathed. There was no doubt in her mind that she’d use the dagger if she had to protect Ian or herself.
There he was, Ian. He waved his sword before just one opponent. Five men lay on the ground, not moving.
Ian had his sword in his hands and danced a slow circle with his opponent. It was the archer, Kate thought, who also had an ax. Ian had a big gash on his shoulder and a slice on his side, with his tunic torn and hanging. He dragged one leg—his thigh was cut, too. One eye was swollen completely shut. Cuts darkened on his face, and blood covered one of his ears. He moved slowly, clearly tired. He swung the sword with an effort.
His opponent was in much better shape. His quiver was empty, and the bow lay on the ground, useless. But his ax gleamed in the daylight.
Kate’s hands shook. How was Ian still alive?
How was she going to help him?
The dagger… But she had to approach so that the man didn’t notice. He had his back to her now. He lunged at Ian, who jumped back, luckily.
She needed to hurry. Still holding the dagger, she walked towards the warrior, slowly advancing, making sure she stepped quietly and didn’t alert the man.
She was about five feet away when Ian’s eyes locked with hers for just a split second before returning to the man in front of him. But in that split second, his eyes widened for a barely noticeable moment and a fear like she’d never seen in him before flashed through them. His gaze on his opponent again, his shoulders tensed, his eyes filling with determination.
“Come here, ye Sassenach bastart,” he growled.
Step forward, one more.
“Burn in hell, dirty Scotsman,” the man answered.
Three more steps.
The man swung his ax high in the air above his head for the last, deadly blow. Kate launched forward. Whack. Just like Ian taught her, she pierced him in the side of his neck. The dagger went in, meeting the resistance of flesh. Kate let go, nausea rising in her stomach.
The man froze, the ax fell from his hands and hit him on the head, then landed on the ground. The man followed, collapsing like a sack of wheat.
Kate and Ian stared at each other for a moment. Relief and pain on his face, he sank to his knees on the ground. Kate rushed to him and hugged him, supporting him so he didn’t fall.
“Ye shouldna have come back,” he croaked.
“I should have never left. We must hurry. You’re injured. And don’t you dare say it’s just a scratch.”
She helped him up, her heart leaping, triumphant. He was alive. At least for now, he was alive.
Chapter 30
“Open the gates!” Kate cried.
Up on the massive walls, warriors moved. Kate tightened her arms around Ian and prayed they’d be let in quickly.
After the last warrior had died, they’d gone down to the loch and cleaned and bandaged Ian’s wounds as best they could with cloth torn from Kate’s dress. Kate had been astonished at how strong Ian had seemed despite the number of wounds on his body and of how much blood he must have lost. Afterward, Ian had managed to climb onto the horse, but a short time later, he’d almost slipped off. Kate had found a rope in his travel pack and tied it around him and then herself, so that he was strapped to her and sat between her arms. She’d managed to keep him on Thor’s back in this way, though it had been extremely difficult.
“Who goes there?” one of the guards responded.
“Ian Cambel,” Kate said. “He was wounded in a battle with the English. Please, let us in. He needs help urgently.”
“Let them in!”
The gates opened slowly.
Kate pressed her fingers to Ian’s neck. His pulse was still beating, thank God. He’d come to consciousness from time to time along the path, raised his head, mumbled something, then fallen unconscious again. She’d asked herself a thousand times if she should stop and let him rest.
But she was terrified he’d die without immediate medical help. She could bandage cuts and cook him a nourishing soup, but she had no idea how to deal with deep wounds.
With a sinking heart and a dark, heavy feeling in her gut, she’d spurred Thor on, desperately looking for any sign of Inverlochy Castle. She was grateful they’d arrived before dusk had settled.
Kate let Thor walk in the courtyard. The familiar gray walls pressed in on her from four sides. This was where they’d thought she was a thief and where she’d thought she was going insane for the first time.
In many ways, that situation had been better than the current one. When she’d had amnesia, she’d had nowhere to go, and could stay with the man she loved…
Now, she had a purpose, somewhere to go back to. Mandy and Jax needed her to provide for them. They must be worrying like crazy by now. Thor stopped, and Kate glanced at the eastern tower, where in 2020 she’d fallen down the stairs and stumbled upon the rock that would bring her to Ian. A shiver ran through her at the thought of going back to that dark, dank cavern again.
Men hurried towards Thor with a litter, and Kate helped them take Ian carefully down. Ahearn, the steward, hurried towards them.
“’Tis ye again!” he cried. “The thief.”
Kate climbed down and walked after the men carrying Ian. “I’m not a thief. I’m a cook. I never took anything from you. Ian needs your help, and I brought him here, that’s all. Now, will you help me take care of him or will you continue your baseless accusations?”
“Someone call Ellair!” he yelled.
“Already done,” one of the men said.
“Take him to my bedchamber,” Kenneth MacKenzie said. The castle constable had appeared from somewhere and watched Ian with a concern.
“Thank you, sir,” Kate said.
He glanced at her with a frown but only nodded.
The men walked to Comyn Tower, as they’d call it, and Kate followed them. They put him on a giant bed in the lord’s bedchamber, which was bigger than Ian’s bedroom in Dundail. He lay so pale, almost gray against the pillows. Kate’s heart squeezed.
Ellair came in.
“Please, help him,” Kate whispered.
He barely glanced at her and continued into the room. He proceeded to clean the wounds, then sewed the ones on Ian’s side, thigh, and head. He put some herbal poultices on them and covered them with clean cloths. Kate stood in the corner, clenching her hands. Tremors of worry went through her, and she almost threw up when she saw the crooked needle piercing Ian’s wounded flesh.
But she couldn’t look away. She was afraid if she did, he’d die, or he’d disappear, and she’d wake up and learn all this was a dream.
Ellair finished and put his things away. When he left the room, Kate followed him. “Is he going to be all right?”
“That is now in the hands of God. He lost much blood, but his wounds didna touch the organs. Still, he may die of blood loss or rot-wound.”
Kate nodded solemnly and returned to the room, praying silently to God or whomever would listen, to save Ian. A few minutes after the healer left, Kenneth MacKenzie came in.
“How is he, lass?” he asked.
Kate stood paralyzed by the door. Seeing Ian ashen and immobile in the bed brought darkness all around her. “He lost a lot of blood, but Ellair says the wounds have missed major organs. Now all we do is wait.”
“What happened?”
“The English,” she said in an expressionless tone. “They’re making another attempt to capture Inverlochy and other castles north. A garrison came through Ian’s lands, and he defended his people. On t
he way here, six of them attacked us.”
Kenneth’s jaws tightened. “Thank ye for telling me, lass. The vultures are probably thinking ’tis a good time to attack while Bruce is busy in northeast.”
“Yes. That’s what I heard them say.”
“Aye. Well. ’Tis smart. But I wilna let them take the castle.”
“Ian, Craig, and Owen managed to fight off this one garrison, but more are coming, I heard. And they might even attack together with the MacDougalls.”
Kenneth shook his head. “Pigheaded MacDougalls. Fighting on the wrong side of this battle. They should be on our side. They’re Highlanders. But I suppose I understand them a wee bit. If someone had killed my nephew, I wouldna have been happy about it, either.”
“Who do you mean?”
“Bruce killed John Comyn, his main contestant to the throne. He was the MacDougall chief’s nephew. ’Tis personal for them. I suppose they’re true Highlanders in that way.”
“They were the ones who sent Ian to slavery in Baghdad,” Kate said, suddenly furious with the MacDougalls, people she’d never seen in her life. “It would be personal for me, too, if I ever saw them.”
She looked into Kenneth’s eyes. “If they ever come here, you make them pay.”
Kenneth held her gaze solemnly, then nodded briefly and left.
Kate finally found the strength to move. She went to Ian’s bed and sat on the edge on the other side, then climbed onto the bed and lay next to Ian. She stared at his profile, which appeared to be lifeless. No flutter of eyelashes or flicker of eyelids. His chest rose and fell, but barely. Kate carefully reached out and put her hand on his forehead. His skin was cool and dry. She moved a bit closer and inhaled his scent.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll do anything so that you live. I’ll stay with you forever if that’s what it takes. Mandy and Jax will somehow do without me. I want you to live. Please, live. I love you.”
She whispered it all like a prayer, like a charm that would keep death away. Then, the exhaustion of all that had happened claimed her, and she slept.
When she woke up, the sun had already risen and colored the sky in the pale gold and blue of an early summer morning. Ian was looking at her, his eyes cloudy but awake. She smiled and cupped his jaw.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve died and came alive to an angel,” he rasped.
She snorted. “Only if I’m one of those fat angels from Renaissance paintings.”
“I dinna ken what ye mean, Katie.”
“Forget it. Are you in pain?”
“Aye, but it doesna matter.”
She touched his forehead. “You’re a little warm. I’ll call Ellair.”
She moved to stand up, but he reached out and caught her by the hand. “Wait. Stay with me just a wee bit longer.”
“Of course.”
She lay back down.
“Ye shouldna have come back for me,” Ian said.
“I should have never left you. I was a coward, but I came to my senses, thankfully, not too late.”
He shook his head.
“Ye should have been in yer time by now.”
She smiled. “I have good news for you, buddy. I’m staying until you get better.”
He made a movement to sit up but didn’t have the strength. Anger and fear mixed on his face. “What?”
That didn’t look good. Kate hadn’t known what to expect when she would say this, but she’d hoped it would be more than an unpleasant surprise.
“I love you, Ian,” she said. “I’m staying to make sure you recover, then I’ll go to help Mandy and Jax and prepare everything for my departure. And then I’m coming back to you—forever.”
Something like a deep shock flashed through his face. “Ye love me?”
He was glad to hear it! A smile bloomed on Kate’s face. “I love you. So much.”
But his jaw tensed, his mouth curving downward. “Nae. Nae, Katie. Ye dinna love me. Ye canna love me.”
“Don’t tell me what I can or cannot do,” Kate said playfully. “That’s how I feel.”
He turned and looked at the ceiling. “Ye’re wrong. Ye canna stay with me forever. Ye must leave. I told ye, ye’re a burden—”
She shook her head and sat up on the bed, anger burning in her veins. “No, I’m not a burden. I just saved your life, buddy. That’s not a burden. Saying I’m a burden is a load of crap, and you know it.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, then turned to her, resolve in his eyes.
“I canna be with ye, Kate.”
She almost flinched at those words. They were like needles driven under her skin.
“And why not now?” she asked.
“Look at me. I’m a killer. A slave. A tool in the hands of powerful men.”
He sounded as if he’d swallowed a toad and it was still stuck in his throat. He sighed and turned away from her. Kate’s heart bled.
“You’re not those things to me,” she said. “I don’t know a stronger man, a braver—”
“The truth is simple, Kate. After what was done to me, after what I’ve become, I canna give ye the love ye deserve. I even tried to kill ye in my sleep.”
Kate shook her head. “I refuse to believe that. It’s not true. You are already giving me more than anyone has given me in my whole life.”
“Nae, sweet. There’s this bottomless crack in my soul that awakes nightmares and eats me alive. And it will eat ye alive, too. Mayhap, even kill ye one night. I canna be someone who does that to ye.”
Kate clenched her fists. Hope was slipping from her grasp quickly. So quickly, when it had just been within reach. “But I’m broken, too, Ian. I know what that is. I’m the same.”
He nodded and turned to her. His face looking deathly. “’Tis exactly why ye must leave. Why ye canna be with me. Because together, neither of us will heal. I will never be whole again, and you have every chance in the world. Go back.”
Kate reached out, but he shifted back. His gaze hardened. “Go.”
The bed seemed to sway, to careen like a ship on the waves, and the whole world darkened and lost color. Twisting pain grabbed her gut, wrenching her. Bile rose in her throat. She couldn’t believe this was it. He really didn’t want to be with her.
“But you said you loved me—” she heard her voice crack.
“Go,” he said again, louder, as if she were a stray dog.
“Ian—”
“Go!” he yelled.
Spooked, Kate backed up off the bed and stood awkwardly, almost falling. There was no longer any love in his eyes. There was only the bottomless darkness of a cruel man who took lives and survived the best way he could.
There was no place for Kate in his life.
Once again, she was unwanted, imposing, unneeded.
Except, she wasn’t.
She wasn’t a burden—she’d saved his life. She’d never been a burden to her sister or her nephew. She hadn’t been a burden for Manning, either, despite his grumbling.
She’d helped him. She’d helped them all. And if Ian couldn’t love her back, he was right. There couldn’t be a future for them. She couldn’t, and shouldn’t, stay.
She wouldn’t sacrifice her own happiness or her sister’s and Jax’s security for someone who didn’t love her and appreciate her just as she was.
She backed towards the door and opened it. Tears blurred Ian’s image in her eyes, her stomach a ragged wound, her heart a piece of torn flesh.
She threw one last glance at the man she loved and quietly exited his life forever.
Chapter 31
Cape Haute, New Jersey, late July 2020
From the outside, the restaurant looked just as it always did. The tall windows had their sun blinds partly down, and the neon Open sign was lit.
But from what Kate could see of the inside, the white tables with soft faux-leather booth seating were full of diners.
The bell rang as Kate opened the door. The sound sent a tiny, fam
iliar jolt of anxiety through her, like it did every time a customer came in. Her hands would automatically reach towards the fridge that held the patties, as she knew she would most likely need to cook a burger.
The scent of grilled meat, coffee, and freshly baked pie enveloped her as she walked in. Everything was clean and tidy. Guests she’d seen and known her whole life chatted cheerfully as they ate and drank.
Kate looked around with astonishment. She’d half expected a foreclosure sign on the doors. Not this.
Mandy burst through the kitchen doors with a plate of pancakes in one hand and a plate with a burger, fries, and a salad in the other. She didn’t look tired or depressed. Actually, she’d never looked as energized and pink-cheeked before. Her hair in a pretty ponytail, her uniform clean and ironed, she moved quickly, with purpose and pleasure, like a fairy from a childhood cartoon who was about to make everything better.
She put the plates on a table in front of Barb and George Fisher and patted Barb on the shoulder.
“Enjoy!” Mandy said, and she was just about to turn and walk back into the kitchen when she saw Kate.
Her smile fell, the familiar gray-and-tired expression returned, and her shoulders slumped.
Then she plastered a smile on her face. “Kate! You’re back!”
Heads turned in Kate’s direction, and she got a few halfhearted greetings. Had anyone even noticed she was gone? Had Mandy even been worried that Kate had disappeared?
It didn’t matter. Kate was so glad to see her sister and to be back where she belonged, where she was needed. Where she could make a difference and save the restaurant.
Kate waved to everyone back. Leaving her luggage by the door, she went to Mandy and hugged her.
“Hi, sis,” she whispered. “How are you? How’s Jax?”
Mandy leaned back. “We’re good. We didn’t expect you so early. I thought it’d take months for you to train in Scotland…”
“You weren’t worried not to hear from me?”
“No, why would I? I figured you were having the time of your life, finally being able to cook all kinds of foreign dishes in that fancy program.”
