Grand Slam

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “I asked you not to leave. Hell, I think I begged you,” I say to her. I had never begged anyone until that moment. I didn’t want her to go. I wanted to wake up with her in my arms and feed her breakfast in bed.

  “I was so upset and angry at myself for going home with you. I was crying and still drunk when my car struck the telephone pole. I had minor scrapes and a few bruises, but I blew over the legal limit and was hauled off to jail.

  “I lost my license and was given probation for five years. One of the conditions is that I’m not allowed in bars or where alcohol is served. I have to get permission to attend work functions, and Jeffrey almost fired me because of this. He put me on probation for a year.”

  “That’s why you called and asked me for help the next morning, isn’t it?” I ask as the realization sets in. I knew I let her down but wasn’t aware of the magnitude.

  She nods. “I thought I could get the charges dropped and figured…”

  “That since we had been together, I would help?”

  “Yes, but not in the way you’re making it sound. I was hoping, since we were drinking at your place so heavily, you wouldn’t mind making a phone call.”

  “But I told you I was busy?”

  “Yeah, and that was the end of it.”

  “Shit.” I’m such a fucking dick. All I had to do was call Irvin and save her all of this pain. “Wait—what about dinner the other night? And the hockey game?”

  She shakes her head. “I wasn’t allowed to go to dinner but did anyway because I didn’t want to tell you. The hockey game was business.”

  Saylor covers her face with her hands and groans. My fingers wrap around her wrist to pull them away so I can see her. “Does Jeffrey know about us? About that night?”

  “No,” she says, shaking her head. “Or if he does, he has never said anything.”

  “I’m really torn up on the inside about this, Saylor. I had no fucking idea. And here I am pressuring you to come clean because it saves me, but it can destroy you. There has to be a happy medium here.”

  I look away and focus on her fireplace. I’m so torn and don’t know what to do. I want this investigation to stop, and Saylor could help. But she’s right—I’m a risk, and one she’s not willing to take.

  “Fuck, Saylor, I’m sorry. I’m going to make it better,” I say as I get up and start pacing around her living room. The lights from her Christmas tree twinkle, and I absentmindedly rub one of the branches between my fingers. Her ornaments have a homey feel to them, not like the celebrity trees you see where everything matches. A few of them look handmade by Lucy, and there’s a series of them that mark each of Lucy’s Christmases.

  “You have a beautiful tree.” I have to change the subject because I’m starting to overthink how I could save her. Right now, the only thing I can come up with is to put money in her bank account, but that only helps so much if she’s unemployed or in prison.

  “Thank you. Have you put one up yet?” She comes over and stands next to me, straightening out an ornament that only twists back around.

  “Nah. I never do. I usually spend Christmas out in the middle of the ocean with my parents. They live on a yacht and are constantly sailing.”

  “But not this year?”

  I shake my head. “I thought I wanted to stay here and experience winter, but well…anyway, I can’t leave until everything is squared away, which I’m hoping is soon.”

  “It will be,” she says, placing her arm on my bicep.

  I pull her into my arms and hold her. I feel her body sag against mine and know that she’s comfortable. Hell, I’m comfortable. Every time I’m near her, I’m at ease and not afraid to be myself. Saylor sees a whole other side of me that even the guys on the team don’t see.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I say. We both pull back so we can look into each other’s eyes.

  “Of course.”

  I break eye contact to push her hair behind her ear, exposing her neck to me. She swallows hard and shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

  “If you didn’t work for my manager and have to put up with me, knowing what you know about me, would you want to be with me?”

  I look into her eyes and wait for her answer. Her grip around my waist becomes tighter, and her chest slightly heaves. “Yes,” she says breathlessly.

  My hand cups her cheek while my thumb brushes across her lips. They part, and I take that as my invitation to kiss them. I move slowly, testing her reaction, until I feel her fingers push into my hair and pull me closer.

  She wants me, probably not as much as I want her, but the feelings are there, and I’m going to take every little bit until she tells me otherwise.

  The second our lips touch, the surge I feel is indescribable. This kiss is different from before. The longing is greater, as is the feeling that we could be together if our situations were to change.

  We move in sync, and my hand now cradles her head, angling her perfectly to me while her hands roam freely over my chest, into my hair, and onto my waist. Her fingers inch under my shirt and graze my stomach.

  I want to lift her up and take her to her bedroom. I want to worship her and make promises that I know I’ll have to work hard in order to keep. She deserves someone better than me, but I want the pureness that she brings into my chaotic world.

  Breaking away from her lips, I taste her neck as she whimpers, tilting her head to the side to give me better access. Her hands trail down my arms until her fingers are lifting the hem of my shirt and I have no choice but to stop kissing her and help her pull my shirt over my head.

  Saylor looks up at me as her fingers dance over my skin, tracing the outline of my abs and my tattoo. She places an openmouthed kiss on my chest, sending me into overdrive. I scoop her up and head toward her room.

  “Remind me…which way?”

  “To the left,” she says as she tugs at my earlobe with her teeth.

  I kick her door open and stumble my way into her room. Her legs hitch over my hips, grinding her core against me. I had hoped to be smooth and set her down gently, but nothing ever goes as planned and I end up falling on her.

  Saylor starts to laugh, and while that action could devastate a man, I find myself laughing right along with her. I stay centered between her legs and gaze into her eyes. If she has any doubts, I don’t see them.

  My eyes close as she tickles the scruff that I’ve been letting grow the past few days. Normally I grow a winter beard but have been shaving in anticipation of kissing her more. Looking at her swollen lips, I can see where I’ve roughed her up a little bit. Truth be told, I like it—a lot.

  Lowering my head, I kiss her again, but her response isn’t as enthusiastic as I would like. “We can’t do this, can we?” I ask, without leaving the comfortable spot that I’ve created.

  She shakes her head, and I roll off of her. “Please,” she says, reaching for me.

  I turn and look at her. “Please what?”

  Saylor sits up and attempts to straighten her hair. It’s wild, and perfect. “I like you, Travis, but if Jeffrey found out, I’d lose my job.”

  “What if we kept us a secret?” Even as I make the suggestion, I know I wouldn’t be able to. I would want to parade her around, be there for her and Lucy. I would want them at my house and in the stands wearing my number. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I scrub my hands over my face and groan. Saylor snuggles into me, and it feels damn good. I roll slightly and pull her into my arms.

  “I’m sorry,” she says.

  “Don’t, Saylor. I’m going to find a way to make this work.”

  She pulls back and looks at me. “You can’t fire Jeffrey. If we started dating, he’d know. He’d fire me anyway.”

  She’s right, and I hate it. I want to think that there’s a way around our situation. Never mind the fact that in order for her to get me out of my mess, she’d have to face jail time. I could never do that to her or Lucy.

  We stay like this, with her head on my chest and
my fingers playing with her hair. I could fall asleep, and no doubt it would be the best sleep I’ve had since the night before I walked into that bar and everything changed. It’s funny to think that my life has been vastly different since that moment. A false claim that could end my career has been eye-opening and made me take a serious look at the lifestyle I’ve been living. I’ve made changes, not only for me but also to try and prove that I can be the man Saylor needs me to be. Right now, I can’t imagine being anywhere else, other than where I am now, except maybe between Saylor’s legs and making her scream my name.

  She sits up and smiles before leaving me in her bedroom. When she returns, my shirt is in her hand, and all I can do is picture her wearing it to bed.

  “Thanks, babe,” I say, letting the term of affection slip out. I can tell by the blush in her cheeks that she likes it, and I make a note to say it more when we’re in private, because yes, I will be doing everything I can to show her that I’m interested. I just have to find a way to make a relationship with her work where she doesn’t have to risk anything but her heart. Something tells me that she’s worth it, and I will prove to her that I’m worth every risk she’s willing to take.

  We’ve just barely stepped back into the living room when the door opens and Lucy comes barreling in with her grandmother on her heels.

  “Travis!” Lucy squeals as she launches into my arms.

  “Hey, pretty girl.”

  “Are you staying for dinner?”

  I glance over at Saylor, who nods.

  “Yeah, I am. Should we order something?” The last thing I want is for Saylor to have to cook, although having a home-cooked meal would be very nice.

  “No, Mommy will make ’ghetti.” Yes! Now I want to squeal like a five-year-old.

  “Lucy Lou, come give Grammy a kiss.”

  I let Lucy down, and she runs over to her grandmother.

  “Mom, do you remember Travis Kidd? We’ve been working on his publicity events.” Saylor trails off…as if she’s trying to find an excuse as to why I’m here, instead of telling her mother the truth, although I’m not sure what that is. For me, I’m here because I want to be with her. For her, I want it to be the same, and maybe it is or could be, if the circumstances were different.

  I go over and shake her hand. “It’s very nice to see you again under better circumstances,” I tell her.

  “You too. Lucy hasn’t stopped talking about you since you played dress-up with her.”

  Lucy beams as she looks up at me. I tap her nose with my index finger and pull her into my side.

  “Will you be joining us for dinner?” I ask Norma, who shakes her head.

  “No, tonight I play bridge with the ladies. Have a good night.” She turns to leave but peeks her head back in before shutting the door. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Saylor.”

  My mouth drops open as Saylor’s face turns red. I waggle my eyebrows at her, only for Lucy to interrupt every dirty thought I was starting to have.

  “What does that mean?” she asks, causing Saylor and me to burst out laughing.

  Twenty

  Saylor

  The bell chimes, letting us know that we can go out onto the ice. Ever since the hockey game, Lucy has been asking if we can go skating. I readily agreed, and she invited Travis. Deep down I knew she would, and I didn’t balk or try to tell her otherwise. Truth is, I want him here. I may not be able to be with him romantically, but I can be his friend, and sometimes that is more important.

  Lucy tilts her head back and sticks out her tongue, catching the falling snowflakes and laughing when they land on her cheeks, forehead, and eyelashes. Travis copies her, chuckling right along, while I stand back and watch the one person I love most in the world bond with a man whom I could so easily fall in love with.

  Even though he knows we can’t be together, that hasn’t stopped him from coming around. It’s not every day, but it’s enough to keep the interest I have in him growing to the point that I’ve found myself looking for another job. Not that I want to quit working for Jeffrey, but the thought of being in love intrigues me. I’ve only been in love once, and that didn’t turn out so well for me, with the exception of having Lucy. Love scares me, but I’d put my heart out there for Travis because I think he deserves it, and I know he’d love Lucy with everything that he is.

  “Are you two yo-yos ready?” I ask, reaching for Lucy’s gloved hand. She smiles and wipes her face with her other one before grabbing Travis’s hand as well. The three of us make our way onto the ice, holding hands like a family. It’d be a picture-perfect moment, something for a Christmas card, if our situations were different.

  Travis wobbles, causing Lucy to laugh. I’ve brought her to the Frog Pond every winter since she could walk so I could teach her how to skate. This is another activity she’s asked to participate in, but all I can afford is the public rink. Maybe if Elijah were a better father, he’d be willing to pay for lessons. The thought has occurred to me to ask, but I’m afraid of what he’ll ask for in return.

  “Watch me, Travis,” Lucy says as she lets go of our hands and skates forward. She spins in a small circle, twirling like a ballerina.

  “You’re amazing,” Travis says as he claps. He tries to bow but begins to lose his balance. His arms start to flail about, and I do my best to help him right himself, only to go down in a heap, landing on top of him.

  “Are you okay?” I ask in between giggles. He groans and wraps his arms around me, preventing me from moving.

  “Perfect,” he says, meeting my gaze. That’s when I see the longing he feels in the depth of his blue eyes. It’d be so easy to give in to the temptation, the desire burning within, but I could lose my job. I need to be stronger around Travis, yet I find that I don’t want to be. When he’s around and we share moments like this, I forget about the responsibilities I have.

  He licks his lips, and I consciously follow suit, eager to taste him once again. Before I can protest or roll out of his arms, his lips are pressed to mine, and people around us are cheering. I pull away and try to hide my embarrassment by keeping my eyes focused on the ice, praying that no one with a camera caught this moment.

  Travis is able to right himself before I stand, and he helps me up, refusing to let go of my hand once he does. He pulls me to him, cupping my cheek and guiding my face up so I have no choice but to look at him. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

  I nod and offer him a small smile. I wouldn’t have been able to help myself either, and maybe that’s why I’m upset—because he did it first when I wanted to?

  “You guys kissed,” Lucy snickers, adding to my embarrassment. She should’ve been my first thought, but she wasn’t. My job was. And tonight when I tuck her in, I’ll explain to her what happened, even though I don’t know how to tell her. She’s five, and I don’t want her to think it’s okay for her mother to go around kissing men.

  Travis leans down and kisses Lucy on the cheek. “Now I’ve kissed you,” he says as she squeals in delight. We link hands again and continue to skate. Each time we go around the rink, someone recognizes Travis. A few have tried to stop him to take pictures, but he nicely asked them to wait until the break because he’s with his family.

  His family. That is how he referred to us. He could’ve easily left that part out or called us his friends, but he didn’t, and now my mind is filling with doubt and my heart is asking what the hell I am doing by pushing him away. We can’t help who we fall in love with. That is evident by my colossal mistake with Elijah.

  Lucy skates ahead of us again, and this time Travis links hands with mine as we follow her around the rink.

  “People are going to talk, Travis. We shouldn’t be holding hands.”

  “Are you worried about Jeffrey?” he asks.

  “I have to. I can’t afford to lose my job.”

  He sighs but doesn’t let go. And I don’t want him to. I’m comfortable like this. Even if thick winter gloves are masking our connection, I can s
till feel the heat radiating between us.

  This is my idea of a perfect date, with the white lights adding to the ambience of the holiday decorations. Christmas music plays from the speakers, and couples who are in love, or starting to fall in love, skate together.

  The logical part of me is telling me to let go of his hand, to keep a safe distance between us, but I don’t want to. In fact, being this close to him isn’t enough right now.

  “Will you stay, after we get back to my place?” The words slip easily from my mouth, and as his eyes light up, I can tell that he’s surprised. Probably more so than I am.

  He stops skating and clumsily maneuvers himself to stand in front of me. “I’d love to.”

  I feel like I should add that we’ll be sitting on the couch, drinking hot cocoa and keeping our clothes on, but I have a feeling he knows that. And if he doesn’t…well, he’ll learn quickly that I want him there to keep us company. And by us, I mean Lucy and me, until she goes to bed, and then he’ll go home. Even as I have these thoughts, I know I’m lying to myself. I want him at my place so he can hold me, kiss me, and make me long for a time when I’d be free to submit to him.

  We continue to lag behind Lucy until the bell chimes, letting us know that our time is up. As soon as we sit down to remove our skates, a couple of kids come rushing over without a parent or adult in sight, asking Travis for his autograph. Behind us, I hear a few snide comments, but the kids don’t seem to be aware of Travis’s current controversy. I have no doubt he’s going to oblige each and every child, which will prolong our night here. I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am.

  I help Lucy remove her skates and take her with me while I turn them in. When we return, he’s still signing autographs and posing for pictures, and this hits home for me. For a brief moment, I imagine what it would be like to be with him, and right now it’d be great, until baseball season starts and he’s running ragged. Baseball is his passion, and the schedule is hectic. I know many wives don’t mind it, but I’m not sure how I’d feel being second.