The Truth About Us

by Megan D. Martin

  “I need you, Tyler.”

  Those words had haunted me. Her olive skin, her eyes, her pink nipples, they had plagued me, refusing to leave my mind these last few weeks.

  “You okay?”

  I glanced back at Evie, who wore a concerned expression.

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m good. Just been a long day.”

  “Yeah? I’m sorry. Have y’all been busy?”

  I nodded. We were always busy. Busy was good – but she didn’t know that my work was the only thing that helped me focus, at least a bit, on something that wasn’t Rowan. Some days I had stayed in the shop past midnight working on vehicles when I didn’t have to.

  “How was your day?” I glanced at the clock again. “I thought you had practice this evening.” I remembered now, because I had reminded myself this morning that today could be another night I worked late without interruption.

  “We did, but it got canceled, believe it or not.”

  I almost didn’t believe it. The Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders were so serious about their practices, I felt like they practiced more than the team itself.

  “There was some sort of flood at the facility. Normally, they would just move us to another location, but they went ahead and canceled. Which is cool with me.” She flicked her long hair over one shoulder, revealing her smooth, tan neck. She tanned religiously in a tanning bed. She was brown all over, everywhere.

  “I was thinking tonight we could have a date night, we haven’t had one in a few weeks and I’d love some alone time with my sexy mechanic lover.” She batted her eyelashes.

  I could have sex tonight. Date nights always ended in sex with Evie and I. I hadn’t fucked her since I’d been with Rowan. I should fuck her. I needed to.

  Get Rowan out of your head.

  I smiled at her, opening my mouth to respond when a blunt knock hit the outside of my office door.

  Owen poked his head around the corner. “Hey boss, sorry to bother you guys. Hey Evie.”

  “Hi.” She waved her fingers.

  “What is it Owen?” I had tried my best to avoid the tech at all costs. Every glance at him pissed me off, reminding me that I had Rowan after he did that night – her mouth at least, which was more than enough.

  Owen stepped more fully into the office, revealing his stained, dark blue jumpsuit. “I just wanted to stop in before I headed out for the weekend. I had something to run by you, but I see you’re busy.”

  I shook my head and waved his words away. “Go ahead.”

  He nodded. “Cool, well I just wanted to let you know that I’ve invited that chick, Rowan, to Victor’s pool party this Saturday. I know you guys had some sort of beef with her at the bar a couple weeks ago – and I just wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any problems tomorrow.”

  She’s still seeing him?

  My brain threatened to explode at the news.

  What had I expected, really? That one night of angry sex with me would send her reeling and choose to be alone? I hadn’t heard from her since that night, nor had I tried to contact her. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but somehow, for some stupid reason, I was.

  Evie’s gaze seemed to burrow into my skin. Owen might have been an oblivious idiot, but Evie wasn’t. She knew exactly who Rowan was, mostly because I had told her about my last messy breakup when we first got together a few months back, and a name like Rowan was far from common.

  “Did you talk to Vic about it?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he wasn’t super thrilled about it, but he said he would play it cool. I figured I could count on you to do the same.”

  “So she’s coming for sure?”

  He nodded. “I think so. She seemed pretty stoked about hanging out again.”

  I squeezed the edge of my desk until my fingers throbbed.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t bring her, Owen,” Evie cut in. “I mean, come on. We all saw her.” She made a disgusted face. “You could probably do a lot better than that.”

  Owen crooked his head in surprise. “Not everyone aspires to be a plastic Barbie doll, Evie.”

  “Whatever. You know if you had a chance with this Barbie doll, you would take it.” Evie laughed like she was joking, but I knew better.

  “Yeah, in your dreams, sweetie,” Owen said.

  “Hey, you guys, chill out.”

  “I mean, I’m not wrong am I, Ty? You know, anything is an upgrade compared to her.” She motioned to herself. “Clearly.”

  “Okay, is someone gonna actually tell me the deal with Rowan?”

  I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I didn’t want to do this, not right now, not ever, especially not with Evie and Owen.

  “Obviously Tyler dated her,” Evie said quickly, “before he figured out that he could do way better.”

  “Ah, well–”

  “It’s fine, Owen.” I cut him off. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I didn’t want to discuss Rowan with either of them. I didn’t want to imagine the fact that she was now with Owen somehow – and I didn’t want to listen to Evie bad mouth her, when she had no idea what she was talking about.

  “Cool, man. See you both tomorrow.” Owen left.

  “I can’t believe you’re okay with her being there.”

  I shrugged and didn’t look at Evie as I logged out of my computer.

  “I’m being serious, Ty. You think I want to be around some girl you used to fuck? What about my feelings?” I paused my movements. I was standing now, my hand on the back of my chair, and met her gaze.

  “Your—”

  “Yeah, Ty, my feelings.” Evie remained at her perch on the edge of the desk. Her forehead was pinched slightly in a mock pouty expression. I’d come to recognize it, she did this whenever she wanted to guilt me into getting her way.

  “I can’t do much about it, can I?” I shrugged.

  Her gaze narrowed. “Owen came in here to ask your permission.”

  “He came in here to make sure I would be nice – not if it’s cool that she came.”

  “Either way, you should have said something. You didn’t even ask me what I thought about it.”

  She wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t even thought about it like that. I rubbed the back of my head. “I guess I didn’t think it mattered to you.”

  “Are you joking? Of course it matters. I don’t want to hang out with your ex. I mean, the last time we saw her, you were in a pissy mood the rest of the night. Not that I get why – she is hideous, for real.”

  I ignored her words about Rowan’s looks. That wasn’t something I would get into with her, or anyone ever. Not when the olive skin between Rowan’s breasts kept flashing in my head.

  I sighed. “I’m sorry, Evie. I didn’t know it would bother you.”

  “Wouldn’t it bother you to hang out with some dude, I’d had sex with?”

  It wouldn’t, it didn’t. We had hung out with guys she slept with on several occasions, of which she had informed me after we reached the get together. Some of them were professional football players – not intimidating at all. I hadn’t made a stink though. I’d shook their hands and gone on with my life. Why did chicks dwell on this shit?

  Why are you dwelling on Rowan? Why did you fuck her two weeks ago? Cheater.

  I hated myself. I needed to get the fuck out of my head.

  “I care about you, okay Ty?” She stood up and moved toward me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I can tolerate her, okay. I know you care about me and you don’t want her, right?”

  I met her light blue gaze. The irises were so light, when I first saw them, they’d seemed like a vacation beach from somewhere exotic I’d only seen pictures of on desktop backgrounds. In spite of everything gorgeous about her body, it had been Evie’s eyes that had pulled me in. So light, empty almost of depth and distraction. There was a simplicity in them, a simplicity I craved.

  The guilt hit me then. Guilt for what I had done to Evie. I cheated on her – with Rowan of all people. Evie’s long lashes curled up toward her
perfectly drawn eyebrows. She was high-maintenance, but she had been good to me so far, and I’d been nothing but a piece of shit. Evie cared about me. I could see it in her eyes – they were so transparent. Rowan had hurt me – Evie hadn’t.

  “I only want you.” I meant the words as they slipped from my lips. “We don’t have to go to that party, Evie. We can go do something just me and you.” The idea of it suddenly sounded freeing. If I didn’t see Rowan, things could back to the way they were before. I could pretend she didn’t exist. I could pretend I hadn’t fucked her.

  Evie pressed her lips together, suppressing a small smile that lit up her whole face. “That’s okay, Ty. I can deal with it for you. Plus, I wouldn’t hate for her to see just how happy I make you.” She smiled revealing her teeth this time. I couldn’t help but smile back.

  Evie was one of the most gorgeous women I had ever laid eyes on. She cared about her appearance, she worked out all the time, and she was devoted to me. The promise of simplicity reeled me back in. “That sounds great, babe.”

  And this time I leaned in, initiating the kiss.

  I stood in the driveway staring up at the large farmhouse. I hadn’t been here in more than a year. I hadn’t ever planned or expected to come back to Victor’s dad’s house. The first summer Tyler and I had dated we came here with Victor frequently, because of the large pool, which had an amazing rockslide and waterfall. It was the perfect summer destination in Texas. The problem with this place was that it had Victor, and of course, Tyler, and all those memories.

  I hadn’t planned to come, at least not at first. Not when Owen texted me the morning after our date and told me about the swim party a few weeks away. The last thing I had wanted to think about was potentially running into Tyler again, especially after what had taken place in my bed the night before.

  It had all seemed surreal: that he had been there, in my space after all this time. I shouldn’t have slept with him – I knew that. The regret ate at me inside, and not because I had some sort of guilt over the fact that he had a girlfriend – I wasn’t that good of a person – but because it had dragged me deeper into feelings I hadn’t really ever let go.

  The sex had been different than when we were together. Back then, Tyler had always been caring, loving, giving. That was his MO as a sexual partner. He was a giver. Sex never ended without an orgasm or two from me. He always paid close attention to me, with kisses and caresses all over, until I was overwhelmed in a good way. But that night – he was different, cold, and authoritative. I wish could say that I hated every moment of it, but I hadn’t. There had been something erotic about the power, the blank emotion on his face, as if I didn’t matter to him, as if he was just using my body. I hated to admit it, but I wanted to be used by him. I wanted him to consume me, to use me, until there was nothing left, and that’s what happened that night. I embraced the cold in him, the hate. I accepted it when I accepted him into my body, and it had been erotic and overwhelming. I’d come quicker than I ever had.

  But when it was over – things became more complicated. He laid between my breasts, our bodies still intertwined, and the cold was gone. His mask had slipped and I saw all the hurt, the sadness, the desire, the disappointment, the tragedy. I didn’t know how long we laid there like that. Broken souls tangled up, but it had been both too long and not long enough.

  When Tyler had gotten up to leave, he didn’t look at me. He didn’t speak as he threw the condom in the trash and zipped up his pants. He didn’t say a word as he left my apartment. He was just gone. Just like that. The only evidence that he had ever been there sat at the bottom of my bedside trashcan, taunting me with the reality of what I had done.

  When Owen’s texts came, I had ignored them at first. For several days I wallowed in my own self-doubt and regret, until Stacie forced me to tell her what happened. She hadn’t been impressed. After a few more days I realized that I wanted more for myself. I always had, but I just didn’t know what to do about it. Not that I really thought Owen was the “more” I was looking for, but he was a start. I had to move forward without Tyler – though, as Stacie had pointed out, going places where Tyler would be wasn’t exactly the best plan.

  The jingle of my phone’s ringtone brought me out of my thoughts. “Hi Dad.”

  “Hey little Row, have you seen the paperwork on Mr. Gideon’s car? Neither me or Darren can find it.”

  “Oh yeah, I filed it under insurance claims in the right filing cabinet, bottom drawer. I thought it was all closed out.”

  “It is, but he called in saying the van is making a knocking noise now.”

  “Ah, well that’s not great.”

  “Nope. It’s not.” He sighed. “Any luck?”

  I knew what he referred to. He had been on me since our conversation in his office about working things out with Tyler. He brought it up at every opportunity, even texted me about it randomly, wanting an update on my progress. I hadn’t told him about my new plan – to get decent techs back at our shop. That was the whole reason I was here at Victor’s dad’s. The reason I risked a Tyler sighting. It was silly, maybe. I shouldn’t have let my dad influence me so much, but I couldn’t help but feel at least partially responsible. Even if I had wanted Tyler to quit working at Steel Mechanics, Inc., I hadn’t wanted to hurt Dad’s business in the process. Dad had sunk his whole life into that place. I wouldn’t let it all fall apart without at least putting a little effort into helping him. Plus, this pool party was some sort of work gathering, based on what Owen had told me. I could potentially meet some other technicians, not for dating of course, but at least to learn who was around and who was any good these days.

  “Dad.” Was all I said in response to his question.

  “I just don’t want you to forget, Row.”

  I rolled my eyes. “How could I forget?”

  Dad chuckled at the other end of the line. “I’m counting on you.” His tone returned to being serious. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  My dad drove me nuts most of the time, literally crazy, especially since I had grown up with just the two of us. With my mom out of the picture early in my life, he had been really protective of me. Always wanting only the best for me. He never liked any of my boyfriends growing up, and they never lasted long because they were endlessly threatened by Dad about being good to me. However, he had been thrilled when I finally told him I was dating Tyler.

  “He’s a good one, Row. You know I wouldn’t say so if I didn’t mean it.”

  I pushed the memory away and hung up the phone.

  “Ready?”

  I glanced over at Owen as he came around from the back of his truck carrying a Corona bottle-shaped floaty and a pool noodle. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, displaying some delicious-looking muscles under pale skin. His typically slicked back hair, was messy today, but not in a bad way.

  I smiled. “Yup.”

  I helped him carry the floaty while he grabbed a cooler from the bed of his truck.

  “Let’s do this.”

  As it went, the pool party started out great. Victor was present, of course, but completely ignored my existence, which was better than constantly being harassed and called a whore. It turned out I knew several of the guys who worked for Tyler, but none of them seemed to carry the same disdain for me that Victor did. Most of them seemed pleased to see me, and were interested in how my dad was doing, which I felt was promising.

  Dad seemed to feel that all of these techs had ill feelings toward him since they left, but I could tell that wasn’t the case. I didn’t blame them for going where the money was better, though something else occurred to me as I floated around the pool on the Corona bottle. I hadn’t really thought about it specifically, especially based on who exactly had left the shop, but the ones who now worked for Tyler had been some of our very best. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Tyler had accused me of trying to poach Owen, when poaching was obviously what Tyler had been doing all along.

  The relaxi
ng and enjoyable part of the party ended when Tyler and Evie showed up, more than an hour after we did. Their not being there right away had inspired hope that they wouldn’t show – that maybe I was off the hook and wouldn’t have to see him after all.

  Wrong.

  Evie wore the smallest, pinkest, sparkliest bikini I had ever seen in my life, revealing perfectly tanned skin from head to toe. Not a blemish or a freckle on her. Her platinum hair was piled on her head in a messy look, but I figured it had probably taken her some time to perfect.

  “Party’s here!” She called out gleefully across the pool when they came around the corner, shimmying seductively when all the guys cheered. She wore a large pair of bug-eye sunglasses and carried only a towel. Tyler followed behind her carrying a cooler, two floaties, and two beach bags. I forced my floaty to turn around in the water when I noticed how his muscles bulged under the weight of the things he carried. The new ink on his arm was enticing. Their arrival only caused me to realize just how un-glamorous I looked in my plain black string bikini. I had an unflattering farmers tan, and my hair, which had been fixed into two French braids, was a little loose from swimming, and far from the stylish pile of curls Evie had.

  Don’t do this to yourself, Rowan. Don’t compare yourself to her. You aren’t here for Tyler. You’re here for Owen.

  Just at the end of that thought, Owen swam up to me and leaned on the floaty, holding a real Corona in his hand. “You sure you don’t want a beer? I brought extra for you.”

  “Yeah,” I smiled at him and adjusted my aviator sunglasses. “But thanks anyway.” The last two times I drank had ended with some sort of sexual contact with Tyler, and I was determined to not let there be another repeat of that sort of fiasco.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Of course,” I nodded, glad that I faced Owen and not the other side of the pool.

  “Okay.” He smiled at me, and again I noticed his dimple. “I know you used to date Tyler. Evie told me. And I know this could be weird, but if you start feeling uncomfortable, you can tell me, and we can go, okay?”

  “Evie told you?” The words rushed out of my mouth.