“You told her? That I was out last night?”
“No. But before she took her sleeping pills, she went to check on you, but you weren’t there. And you left your phone in your room. She’s been awake most of the night waiting for you.”
When Ivy approached the dining hall, her steps were labored. She paused with her hand on the door handle. “Did mother eat?”
Fareeda shook her head. “I made breakfast, but she didn’t touch it.”
“Prepare breakfast for both of us. We’ll eat in around half an hour.”
The promise of harmony returning to their little household perked Fareeda’s mood up no end, and she was humming as she turned to go to the kitchen.
Ivy opened the door and entered the breakfast room. She stood at the doorway, barely able to recognize mother. Her skin was blotchy and eyes red, and she was still in her dressing gown, something unheard of at this time. Ivy sat at the table, on the seat opposite her, so they could make eye contact.
Mother knew.
She might not guess at the details, but she knew that Ivy had spent the night with someone. It was obvious in her pained expression. But it brought no guilt, only relief. Ivy couldn’t continue with this farce any longer. After that night with Junaid, she couldn’t go into a lifetime of passionless duty with Michael. “Mother. I want to talk to you.”
Pearl shook her head. “I’d noticed something different about you since you went out for that night with your friends.” Her hands trembled as she clutched them together. “I convinced myself it was nothing—pre-wedding nerves—we all suffer them, but I was wrong, wasn’t I?” When Ivy nodded, “Who is he?” Ivy clutched the table cloth, squeezing it between her fingers. “I gather he’s not from the Association?”
“No, he isn’t.”
“And have you—” Her mother didn’t finish her question, her voice catching.
“I’m no longer a virgin, mother.”
Mother’s face paled. Ivy expected recriminations, shouts and words of damnation, but instead, a lone tear trickled down her mother’s cheek and fell on to the table cloth. “Michael must not find out.”
“But mother, I—”
Pearl shook her head, holding her hands over her ears. “I do not want to hear anything. You only have to make it through the wedding night without him finding out. There are methods you can use…I will tell you before the ceremony what you need to do—”
“Mother.” Ivy’s voice trembled, but she took a deep breath and said the words. “I don’t want to marry him.”
Now her mother’s face hardened, and the mask that appeared was one that chilled Ivy to her bones. “I would consider your future carefully, Ivy. You saw what happened to Ann that day. You’ve lived in luxury all your life, unlike me. When there is no money, the first thing to go out of the window is romance.” She glanced around the room. “Do not give this up for a man.”
“But how can I marry a man I do not want to be with?” One she couldn’t even stand being next to. A man who made her skin crawl.
“Michael is your future—our future. We have this life only because of the Association. The day you announce you don’t want to marry Michael, they will throw us out and ostracize us. We will be alone, like we were after the death of your father. Remember, Ivy, remember how it was…”
The bliss she had experienced with Junaid dissipated as that old dread clutched Ivy’s chest. The memory of hiding under the stairway, with nobody to turn to…sleeping in mother’s bed and being woken by her screams. Anticipating knocks at the doors and the sounds of windows opening. That fear returned and engulfed her, making her chest constrict.
“Ivy?”
Mother’s voice came as if from a distance, as she remembered hiding in the corner of her bedroom, staring at the door and fearing that any moment now, masked men would break it down. Even at that age, she knew the terrible things grown men could do to a girl…
For a moment, she had believed she could be with Junaid. Relief had cut through those nightmares when she woke up in his arms this morning. But he was a supernatural and sooner or later, warfare would break out between his kind and humans. And what then? She had spent her life under the protection of a human organization, being controlled by it, but how much worse would it be putting herself at the mercy of supernaturals?
With the Association, she might never have independence, but at least she was with familiar people. People who would protect her no matter what happened.
My own kind.
“You are right, mother. The best thing is for me to marry Michael.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
* * *
IT WAS LATE WHEN JUNAID received a message on his phone from Shaun, the wolf shifter. You still want to meet? I’m in Eclipse tonight.
He glanced at the dance floor and then did a quick visual check of the surrounding area. All seemed fine, and his shift had just ended so the timing was perfect. He sent a message, asking the wolf to come to his office. He then sought out Freya. “I’m heading up to my office for a bit before going home.”
Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at the dance floor. He followed her gaze to two young men who were eying up a group, the members of which glared back at them. They looked as if they were on the verge of creating a ruckus, but the elf was more than capable of handling it. “Good night, Junaid. See you tomorrow.”
He went up to his office and had barely settled on the sofa when Shaun came in. “Thanks for coming,” Junaid told the shifter.
“No problem. Angie and I were here tonight, anyway. She’s in the hotel spa, being pampered.”
“Good for her. Fancy a drink?”
“Beer would be great, thanks.” Junaid grabbed two beers from the fridge in the office corner and then placed them on the table. Shaun took one and leaned back, sipping as he stared at Junaid. “So…what is this about?”
It was not often that Junaid called people for a drink, especially to his office. “I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”
“What’s up?”
“It’s the kind of information you’ll have access to.” Shaun owned his own property firm and had dealt with all sorts of finance firms during his career. He could access details on any investment worth knowing about. “I need to know the financial worth of an Association member.”
Shaun released a low whistle. “Wow. You rarely ask for anything, and when you do, you go all out, don’t you? But go on. I’m listening. Who’s the member?”
“My friend who came to the party last night—Ivy Smith...” Shaun’s lips curled up. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Of course it isn’t, mate. Because none of us saw you stick your tongue down her throat at the party. But I didn’t realize she’s an Association member?”
“Unfortunately, she is. And I need to know what her financial situation is.”
Shaun frowned. “I don’t get it.”
If he wanted help from Shaun, he would need to be as honest as he could. “The Association has a big hold over her and her mother. From what I know, it’s controlled their business for years. I reckon Ivy has no idea of what she’s worth, but if she knew how much money she had behind her, it might be the security she needs to get out.”
“Bastards.” Shaun’s jaw tightened. “I understand, mate. I’ll get it done.”
“Cheers, Shaun. I really appreciate it.”
But the wolf was not done with the conversation as he leaned back in the chair. “So…what’s up with Ivy and you?”
“Nothing. I’m just concerned for her.”
“Of course you are. That’s why your eyes are flickering nonstop as you speak about her.”
“I’m beginning to think it makes little difference how I feel about her.” He shrugged. “She’s been brought up in the Association. She’s spent her whole life being brainwashed against us.”
Last night, when she called him, she had finally opened up to him—and she’d let go of her reserve at the party, even though she was surrounded by su
pernaturals. But this morning, she’d panicked at the thought of her mother finding out…gone back to being the old Ivy. He’d called her since then to check she was all right, and he’d only got a text message back asking him not to worry.
“Let me tell you one thing,” Shaun said, “The first time Angie met me, she was shit scared because I’m a shifter. But when feelings get involved, people forget about stuff like that. And now she can’t get enough of my fangs and claws.” He grinned. “It took us time to get there, but when we did, everything that came before was worth it. Even going against the mob for her was nothing…I would have gone through much more to have what we do now.” A text came through on his phone, interrupting his words…words that had sparked a yearning inside Junaid. What Shaun and Angie had…was it a possibility for Ivy and him? “Speak of the devil. Her spa treatment’s over.” He downed the rest of the beer. “Think about what I said, Junaid, and see you soon.”
After he left the office, Junaid leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes, a smile on his face as he allowed himself a daydream where Ivy and he shared what Shaun and Angie did. That togetherness, the security of knowing they wanted each other and would be with each other. The commitment. It would take time, but he would break through Ivy’s reserve. Until then, just being with her was enough.
When a call came through, it was from her. His smile widened as he picked it up…did she want to see him tonight? His lion growled in content at the thought she couldn’t keep away from him.
“Hi, Junaid.” Her voice was small, putting his beast on edge. Had something else happened?
“Are you all right, Ivy?”
“Yes. I just need to talk to you about something. Is it possible we could meet?”
“Sure. Where do you want to meet?”
“Shall I come to your office tomorrow, at Phoenix? Say about 11?”
“Yes. But are you sure everything’s all right? Can we meet now?”
“Let’s talk tomorrow.”
He knew better than to push her. “Sure. See you tomorrow.”
He hung up the phone. It was like a fucking slap in the face, reminding him that things would always be like this between them. Respite would not last long before reality kicked in.
Something was bothering her, but she’d raised those barriers again, refusing to let him in or be there for her.
He locked his office before returning to the club. He stood at the upper landing, staring down at the dance floor where he had first seen her, laughing and dancing in that white veil as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
That was the real Ivy, but would she ever allow herself to emerge?
THE NEXT MORNING, JUNAID REACHED the hotel early. After his reprimand during a previous visit, the receptionists no longer eyeballed him, behaving like professionals as he approached the reception.
“How can I help you?” asked the brunette.
“I’m expecting a client—Ivy...”
She nodded. “Of course. I’ll send her straight in when she arrives.”
More expensive artworks had been added to the collection in the corridor, and inside his office, there was now a top of the range coffee maker, and an ergonomic chair replaced the one that had been there the last time he was here. Apparently, Blade and Shaun wanted to give the hotel an extra edge over the competition. Good for them.
He pulled out his laptop and began to work, but it wasn’t long before he pulled up the details of the Association booking. The date of Ivy’s marriage ceremony was not far away…
I need to get through to her…make her see she’s making a mistake.
If only she could look past his nature long enough to trust him.
Damn, he didn’t need any commitment from her, even though he meant what he said in the hotel room. He loved her, but he’d be happy if she just gave them half a chance.
There was a knock at the door and his heart went into overdrive, jumping all over the place while his lion shifted inside him.
“Come in,” he called out.
She entered, dressed in a black skirt that reached her ankles and a short sleeve green blouse, her hair tied up. Those green eyes flitted here and there, everywhere but at him. Even in that conservative get-up she looked so damn appealing that he instantly wanted her. But she was here to talk. Her stiff expression was enough indication of that.
But damn, he couldn’t stand this distance between them. Just one kiss...he strode over to her and pulled her to him, slanting his lips over hers. She instantly responded, kissing him back as her arms went around his neck. As she palmed the sides of his neck, her thumbs played with his ear lobes, stroking them.
They had seen each other just yesterday morning, yet… “Ivy…I’ve missed you…”
The ache that had plagued him since yesterday intensified as he passionately kissed her. Every muscle in his body fired up, the need to be with her surging through him…
Damn, this human would be the death of him.
He pressed her up against the wall, his body against hers so there was no space between them. Now her hands went to his hair, trailing through it and applying pressure to his head so his lips molded even harder against hers. Her hips pulsed against his, her core demanding to be closer. He released her blouse from her skirt waistband and then pulled open the buttons.
We were supposed to talk.
But instead his mouth moved down her neck, caressing the softness at the base of her throat. For a moment, he wanted to mark her there, so no other shifter would ever come near her…but he resisted the temptation and traveled down, pressing his mouth against those soft mounds. When he sucked her nipple through the lace of her bra, she whimpered at the contact. “Shaun,” she whimpered. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Finally, those damn words, telling him she actually bloody felt something for him.
He wanted nothing more than to finish this, but he was done with the uncertainty. It was driving him over the edge…not knowing where he stood with her. He stepped back and buttoned up her blouse. She frowned, confused by his reaction. “Junaid?”
He placed both his hands on the wall, on either side of her head, and stared into her eyes. “Ivy. I need more. I want us to be together.”
“I know. And that’s what I came to talk to you about.” Her face was no longer tense with passion; instead, a mask covered it.
Don’t say it…please don’t…
But whatever it was, he needed to hear it. He needed to know, one way or the other. He took another step back. “Go on. Talk.”
“I know that the last time we met, we had a special time…and what we have…it goes beyond sex, but—” Her bottom lip trembled, and she cast her gaze to the bloody floor. No, today wasn’t the time for that shit.
“Ivy. Look at me.”
She looked up, wiping away the dampness from her eyes. “You don’t understand how it is, Junaid. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
“Yes, I don’t understand why you’re so adamant on marrying someone you’re not happy with…someone who you’ll never be yourself with…”
“I need the security.” A retort came to his lips, but he bit it back, allowing her to continue. “When father died, mother and I were left exposed. We didn’t have the position in the Association that we do now. Father had been a member, yes, but not particularly committed. Not committed enough for the Association to spend its resources on protecting us.” And because of Harrison’s background, there must have been enough criminals wanting to get back at Ivy and her mother for one thing or another… “Mother got herself into a state because of the fear and made sure I knew of the danger we were in. I was only twelve at the time, and let’s just say, I used to spend nights awake.” As she spoke, her eyes went blank, as if she was talking about someone else. “I’d spend nights under the stairway, awake and trembling, frightened. Sometimes, I’d hide under my bed and other times, mother forced me to sleep in the same bed as her. Those nights were the worst. Listening to her crying a
nd praying all night in fear. As soon as she fell asleep, I would creep away and climb under my bed. I wouldn’t sleep there, either, but at least I’d be away from her fear.” He tried to imagine himself in the place of a child, waiting for killers and rapists to burst through the door, with nobody but a petrified mother to turn to. And he began to understand…why it was so important to her to be secure… “With every sound, I would think a group of men might crash through the door, just as mother had told me they would…and do horrible things to me. I—”
When her voice broke into sobs, he took her in his embrace, kissing the top of her head. “I didn’t realize, Ivy.”
She cried, soft, against his chest as her arms went around him. “You have no idea how it was, being so scared and alone. We only felt safe after John gave us his protection and the Association’s support. Once that happened, we could sleep without fear of being raped and murdered.” He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for a twelve-year-old to go through all that shit. His lion roared at her pain, even as he made an effort control his voice, murmuring support against her ear, allowing her to stay still for as long as she needed. Eventually, she stepped back, taking that warmth with her as she wiped her eyes. “I can’t turn my back on the Association and risk ending up in that place again. I know there are problems with the organization, but if I leave, I will be unprotected and alone. Even mother might disinherit me.”
She would do that to her own daughter? For a fucked up organization?
“I’m here.” He silently cried out for her to accept him. “You’ll never be alone…you’ll have me.”
“For how long? Saying you love someone is easy. But we only met a few weeks ago, so how can I trust you to be there?” She shook her head. “The truth is, I can’t. But the Association will always be there for me…I can’t risk that for the sake of someone I hardly know.”
Lion's Heart (Blood Moon Book 4) Page 14
