Forever Here

by Harold Wall

that she dammed years before. All her life she lived a story, a chimera.

  "Parents cause a lot of emotional baggage don't they? Your mother, she called herself Candy Lips, but her real name was Gwendolyn Marks. Your father, Teddi Tybal Something. My mother, who jumps the bones of anything that breathes and then moves on to marry richer man. My father, a liar and a hero to the Night World, Carn Lancin. Parents just don't

  understand how to fully take care of their children do they? Ah, parents," he sighed and sat Indian style in front of her and propped his head up by his arm.

  "Did you know what I found after you killed my father? This, isn't it pretty?" Dorian held up a beautiful dagger. Three coils of silver, wood, and iron braided together and the needle

  point was dripping with her blood.

  This is my chance, she thought feebly. She could use her powers and stop him, and then she could escape. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to hurt him, the man she almost

  loved. There was no other feeling except loss and that certainly wasn't enough to call the blue fire.

  "Didn't he tell you he didn't have any sons to give it to? I looked in your mind while you out cold. That meant he didn't have any sons he liked to give it to. He loved you though,

  vermin, and you in turn stabbed him with it. Oh the bitter taste of irony!" he said with the melodrama of an actor. He was an actor, but now he was no longer incognito and enjoying

  very second of her torment.

  "You were very near in loving me, weren't you?" He asked with a thoughtful expression. Dorian knew the answer and laughed. "I'm a wonderful performer. I'm magnificent. All of

  you suckers ate every bit of that act." Mari wasn't listening any more as the dizziness hit her, and his face doubled in her vision. Her head drooped down again and she saw that the

  front of her shirt was soaked in blood. "I'm bored, I wonder what's taking him so long," he complained twirling the dagger on the floor like a top.

  Who's "him"? she wondered, feeling light headed. He kept on talking but Mari felt as if he was speaking a foreign language. The words didn't make any sense like it did before. She

  decided it was a good thing. Listening to Dorian was more painful than driving an electric drill through her brain. For a second she could catch what he was saying.

  "…so in honor of his memory, I will do this with pleasure." Then she physically was dying. The dagger, the dagger that had once meant so much to her, was in her stomach. Funny,

  it didn't feel like anything. It had hurt like hell at first but then her body slid into shock. She often wondered what that was like, when there was so much pain the mind told the

  body to shut down for a while, and now she was experiencing it. Absently, she heard fabric and skin ripping as he dragged the knife across her belly.

  Dorian sucked in a breath and shook his head with a smile. "Now that ain't pretty. By the look on your face, I'm guessing it's not hurting enough." Even if she felt it, pain wouldn't

  have mattered, nothing would have mattered. Life wasn't worth living right now. It definitely wasn't worth listening to the stranger any more. She closed her eyes.

  Wind passed her face and with a great effort she opened her heavy eyelids.

  "Haven't you listened to anything I said?" The boy had Dorian against the wall, his feet dangling in the air. "I'm not going to wait for Hunter to take care of this, I'll do it myself."

  For the first time she saw Dorian scared. She could only tell by his eyes, but it was there, horror. For somebody who would have murdered anybody from a baby to an old lady, it

  was strange that he was afraid of death.

  "You can't," he objected quickly. "If you do, you'll be punished. You'll die." The boy—dammit she still couldn't remember his name—slammed his head against the wall.

  "I don't give a damn." Swiftly, he turned and pulled the knife out of her stomach, making more blood spurt. "Nobody will miss you any way," he said tiredly. Dorian's thin cry

  echoed in the chamber before silence blanketed them again.

  The boy gently untied her and laid her on the freezing ground. For a moment, just for a fraction of a second, her vision cleared. The boy was handsome, maybe even stunning when

  she could see better, and had deep crimson hair, darker than blood. Pale bluegreen eyes met hers. She gasped when her mind, her useless, easily fooled mind, gave her a name.

  "Valdis," she whispered. He smiled slightly and nodded.

  This time it wasn't a slow, layer by layer, degree by degree awakening. Something suddenly awoke her, the unknown force was urgent. Her eyes flew open and she sucked in air,

  as much as she could. But she couldn't get enough, she realized, panicking. It was as if her airways shrunk by the seconds, and the knot in her insides made her writhe painfully.

  Somebody held her frantic hands and gave her a glass of water.

  Or what she thought was water. It smoothed the tightening in her stomach, let her breath freely, and brought back feeling and control in her limbs. It was like a power bar, except

  liquid, thick, and red… Mari stared at the nearly empty glass and then through it at the wall twenty feet in front of her. The glass shattered, the blood gave a crude coloring to the

  cream wall, even filling the cracks. Mari stopped herself. How could she have seen those cracks if she was near sighted? And how could she have thrown so far and fast?

  Her hand fumbled towards her stomach and she couldn't find any scars or half healed openings. "Am I in hell?" She certainly wasn't going to heaven.

  "No, this is the waiting room," a boy muttered, walking through a door and came out with a rag and a little broom and dust pan. She recognized him immediately.

  "Valdis? What are you doing here?" She looked around. Although it was in pitch blackness, she could see the room was finely furnished with modern furniture. Black leather

  couches, big screen TV, impressive collection of DVD's and CD's . There was a spiral stair step going down and there was the rest of the abode.

  "I live here. This is my apartment in Boston." Back to the east coast. Back to the Night World.

  Mari was laying on a large bed that wasn't really in a bedroom, but rather the whole top floor. She lifted the cotton sheets and saw she was in a large Nike shirt. "Who changed my

  clothes? And what am I doing here? Why did you save me? How did you save me? I was nearly dead."

  Valdis began to wipe the wall and sweep up the glass bits. "I changed your clothes, don't worry I didn't enjoy it. You're here because I didn't trust putting you in a Holiday Inn. I

  saved you because I'm getting paid to save you. And you were dead, for a while." Mari climbed out of the bed and stood on two wobbly legs, thankful the shirt hung past her knees.

  "What do you mean, for a while? You're either dead or you're not. You can't…" He gave an impatient sound that was very close to a snarl and scowled at her.

  "What are you, stupid? Did you expect me to take you to take you to a hospital? You wouldn't have survived as a human so you're surviving as a vampire. Get over it." Mari sat

  back down and the feeling of choking was coming back. She couldn't be, it was wrong. It wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be her choice because it was

  now somebody had changed her into a different person without her consent.

  "Valdis, how could you?" Her voice matched the look in her wide, round eyes. Full of disbelief, which would soon border in denial or self hatred. "You…"she closed her eyes as if

  there were some bitter taste in her mouth, "…you, you changed me. You changed my body, my life, my…" Her full lips were twisting with burning anger as her voice rose. "You

  changed my world! You son of a bitch, how could you do this to me?" she roared again. She thought she cried her eyes dry before but now the tears were surfacing. "I didn't even

  want to…How could you do this to me?" she asked again, in a somewhat subdued voice. Mari had no idea why she was being so emotional in
front of somebody she didn't want to

  let her guard down. All she knew now as that she was a monster that was never supposed to exist. She was supposed to die when Dorian killed her. Her hands moved up to try to

  wipe away the tears. Just as the rush of ire ebbed, another rose at the last thought. "Bastard! How the hell would you feel if you were transformed into a human without your

  consent? Just when things were going to be over, just when you were about to rest, someone changed your goddamn existence!"

  When she met his eyes, Valdis was staring at her with utter contempt. "What's the matter with you?" he roared back, a look of desperation mixed with anger on his face. "You're

  better than before! Stop ranting like a lunatic, some people would love to have your power." Mari just shook her head and pulled her knees into the baggy shirt. It felt awful, to see

  Valdis yelling at her, and to have him see her so emotional. She felt the cold air press on her, and began to shake. That was strange, because no the temperatures didn't affect her.

  No, she wasn't cold, the world was. Everything and everyone in it…

  "Stop it!" Mari realized numbly that she was sending out her thoughts. Valdis went on. "God, you're so depressing. Shut up. It's not that bad, you're adapting faster than other made

  vampires do when they first wake up. Most are irrational and can't control—never mind, you won't even listen. Deal with it. You won't be staying here long any way," he finished

  brusquely and descended down the spiral stair case. She had no idea why she felt relieved when she heard the TV turn on, meaning he hadn't left. Maybe because she needed him

  for money, transportation, and other means.

  But she needed somebody to talk to and somebody to comfort her with the change. Her mind automatically showed her Dorian, smiling and holding his arms out for her. Dorian was

  her ideal of comfort and sweetness. The image rippled and the smile he had was a scornful smile. His arms weren't held out for an embrace but to capture and kill. He was looming

  closer with his charming, insane eyes.

  "VALDIS!" she cried. Mari flew from the bed and scrambled down the stair steps. The TV was on but she couldn't find him. "Valdis!"

  "What?" he called, obviously irritated. Valdis was lying on the couch, hidden from her view. Since he wouldn't move his legs, she sat on his calves and socked feet. Mari dropped

  when he pulled his legs out from under her. "What do you want?"

  What did she want? She wasn't really sure and if she did know Valdis was the last person she'd turn to. Arguing with him would distract her, but for only so long. "Tell me what

  happened." That was something she needed to learn.

  He sighed. "I went to go to the rest of the team that it was time to get rid of Dorian. He did his job and was then becoming nuisance. They agreed, I came in, and killed him. It had

  nothing to do with you. I could care less if he tore out your entrails if there wasn't any money involved. " He shrugged and she noticed that Valdis was keeping a safe distance away

  from her. Mari's eyes shot daggers at him. He responded by rolling his eyes.

  Mari thought over her situation. "What do you want me to do?" she asked, feeling a small victory that her voice had returned to the icy tone she had used most of her life.

  "Hunter's given up on you, I'm not surprised by the way. How could anybody believe a spoiled brat like you would cooperate is beyond me. You don't have to do anything, you moron. The council wants you alive, who knows why. Just lay low until January the second. After they're done with you, you're free to go. If I don't kill you first." Valdis

  concentrated on the screen.

  Mari followed his gaze and found he was interested in an infomercial for a paper bag. "I'm free to go now," she informed him stiffly. She stood up and walked towards the door with

  a peep hole in it. She didn't want to look like an idiot and walk in the closet.

  "You might want to put some pants on. Just a suggestion." Well, she'd look like an idiot in another way then.

  Mari turned a blazing glare on him and calmed down instantly. Like he said, she was being stupid, again. He knew what would happen to her if a Night person got their hands on

  her. Permanently dead. What he suggested before was kind. Since when was he kind?

  "Sit down. I have to tell you something."

  "You know what," she began as she sank into a cushy leather seat across from him. "Your attitude has gotten a lot more shitty since I last met you," she observed in biting tones.

  "Sorry," he said spitefully. "Being around you can make any one less than cheery." There was something like bitterness in his voice, but not quite. "While I was changing you, I…"

  He sounded enraged, not with her, but with himself. Yes, this Valdis was definitely moodier.

  "Come on Valdis, spit out."

  "Would you shut up and let me talk?" he yelled violently. To her dismay, she found herself sinking lower into the seat. He continued in a lower voice.

  "Who is the last person in the world you'd think of marrying or being soul mates with? That you've met," he added hastily, knowing very well she would answer with "Donald Trump"

  just to be a smart ass.

  Dorian was the first person to spring to her mind, but she was certain he didn't mean that. Mari thought long and hard and came up with the obvious answer

  "You," she answered easily. There must have been dozens she could have said but it was easier to insult him this way. "I'm guessing your answer would be me. Where are you

  going with this?" Valdis' eyes darkened the moment she answered.

  "Exactly," he said. "When I bit you I felt that thing." he muttered, and his eyes were kept averted. "That thing," he said a little bit more urgent.

  Mari shook her head, not comprehending what he was so desperately trying to explain. "That thing is a really broad subject, Valdis. I need some more info here." If Valdis got this

  frazzled over something, it had to be important.

  "I am not being this mad and moody for no reason, okay?"

  "Oh, Valdis," she gushed brightly. "You're pregnant!" Her mockery nearly earned her a strangling, but her hero thought better of it.

  "If you know what I know…," he muttered.

  "Then help me know. I can't understand this sudden male PMS going on, unless you come right out and tell me."

  "Maria..."

  "Mari."

  "Mari, you and me…we're, you know." A pregnant pause, during which she studied her nails. "Soul mates. I felt your mind, well your unconscious mind any way. And," He never got

  to finish.

  Valdis. Her soul mate. It was such a stupid idea it was laughable. But Valdis never didn't want to tell her this to make her laugh. He looked serious and she almost believed him.

  Almost.

  He was working for the same kind of people Dorian worked for. Of course he was lying. He never lied to her before, but then again there was always a first. Mari's mind hurt with

  so many words to say, to shout. Instead she simply stared at him, a humorless smile finding it's way to her lips. Quickly, her expression darkened, and anger radiated off her in

  heat waves. "Damn you, Valdis, wasn't Dorian enough?" she growled as she ran up the stairs. There was absolutely no way she could stay another minute, not with actors baiting

  her with enticing words at every turn. Apparently the only way to escape the liars is a vacation to a mime school.

  Mari must have made skin contact with him before. She was sure of it and there had been no sparks then. Although she couldn't recall any isolated incident, there must have been a

  time when they touched. How could she spend months with the bastard and not touch him?

  After finding some sweat pants that were barely hanging on by a long belt, she climbed down the stairs again to meet her "soul mate."

  "You know what? You're sick. You, Hunter, every single one of you will do any thing and
every thing just to save your own sorry asses, including fooling me. Well, don't expect me

  to stay around this time, not for the tragic love story to start all over again. I'm not some fucking love sick puppy who'll fall in your arms the second you say your lines! I'm not

  stupid!" Mari never felt this wrathful, which seemed more appropriate a word than angry, toward any one before. Tears, hateful tears, not tears for the loss of anybody, blurred her

  vision as she crossed toward her hero, her supposed soul mate.

  "You think that I'd make this up? Believe me, the last thing I want is to spend the rest of my life with you!" he hollered back. Barely reaching his shoulder, Mari refused to cower

  with him towering and yelling at her.

  "Congratulations, you're not going to have to. Just give me some money, and I'll be on my way." He had to give her something after what he did. Out of no where, she began to

  hurt, a new pain to add to her collection of feelings. Valdis was hurting her.

  "Fine. But I don't want you thinking as you leave that I was another liar, getting paid to make you love me. Because I'm not. I'm not!" He grabbed the coffee table with one hand

  and violently flung across the room. The wood and glass masterpiece crashed loudly against the wall.

  He has a very bad temper, she thought distractedly. Like yours is so much better, her mind returned.

  For a moment he stared at the broken pieces and gripped at control. Valdis turned to her, his eyes alarmingly urgent. "I don't do that," he stressed heavily. "I don't. Don't even think

  I would pretend because…because…it's not worth it. You're not worth it. I've never lied to you before and I'm not going to start now." With frenzied motions that contrasted his stoic

  tone, he pulled out dollar bills out of his pocket and threw it at her.

  "I don't give a damn if you haven't lied before because you are lying to my face right now," she said quietly. Mari had to swallow her pride as she bent to pick up the money on the

  floor. This is what my mother must have done, she thought with shame. Picking up money from a stranger after spending the night with him. "We are not soul mates. I'm not as

  stupid, blind, or naïve as I was before. And by the way, there is nothing you could do that could make me love something like you. Even if we were soul mates, I would never, ever