Waiting for April

by Jaime Loren

  I raised my eyebrows. “What if I turn out to be tougher than you?”

  “Not likely.” He smiled, rolling his neck.

  The image of Scott hitting the tiles in the bathroom after I’d clocked him with the lamp came to mind … which of course led to the memory of me climbing on top of him. My smile faded.

  I had to pay Rowan his dues. At least he’d taken my mind off Scott for a few minutes. Instead of taking him up on his offer of punching him, I threw my arms around him.

  “Thank you, Rowan.”

  Rowan had been by my side these last few weeks without fail.

  He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. “My pleasure. Besides, that girl over there in the yellow halter top that barely covers her jugs—”

  I pulled back and pressed my lips together.

  “—she looks like she has a super nice personality,” he finished.

  “Mm-hmm.” I couldn’t suppress my laugh. Rowan winked.

  I was pretty sure Rowan enjoyed our self-defense classes more than I did. It had become customary for us to go upstairs and use the gym’s treadmills after class, but this time he called me back. “I thought we could try something different tonight.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, I booked this room to work on your … senses, I guess you could say.” A cheeky grin lit his face.

  I crossed my arms. “What the hell are you talking about? My senses are freakin’ awesome.”

  “Is that right?” He pulled a foam ball from behind his back and threw it at me, hitting me in the shoulder. I dropped my jaw in mock horror. When I picked up the ball and eyed him, he held his hands out in defense. “Wait!”

  I tilted my head to the side and raised my eyebrows.

  “My plan is to have you wear this.” He retrieved a blindfold from his pocket. “Try to guess where I am as I move around you, and see if you can hit me with the ball.”

  “How about I just use my fists?” I rolled my tongue into my cheek.

  “Or you could not be so violent, and just use the ball.”

  “Fine. If you want to take all the fun away, I’ll use the ball.”

  “Good girl. Now come here,” he said with a wicked smile.

  Once the blindfold was secured, I stepped back and concentrated my ear on different parts of the room. When I was sure I could hear him, I threw the ball in his direction.

  “Close.” He placed the ball back in my hand and stepped away again. I listened carefully and threw the ball. “You almost took my ear off that time! You’re better at this than I expected.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “What if I just stand still and you find me without the ball? Let’s see if you’re psychic.” I could hear the mockery in his tone, and poked my tongue out in his direction. “Spin around a couple of times before you start.”

  I did what he’d suggested. “I hope you’ll tell me if I’m about to walk into the wall.” I laughed. There was no answer. He really was taking this seriously. I held my hands out in front of me and took one step at a time, trying to remember the layout of the room. I jumped when my fingernails grazed the brick wall. “Thanks a lot.” I turned and dropped my hands to my sides.

  He didn’t respond. Not even a snicker.

  “Rowan?”

  Still no answer. A gush of air against my cheek startled me. I twirled to my right. Fingers brushed my left arm, so I twisted that way, swinging my arm out to try and make contact. There was no one there. I ripped my blindfold off to discover it made no difference to my sight. The room was pitch black. I stood completely still; my muscles locked. “Rowan, this isn’t funny. Turn the lights back on.” A sweat broke across my brow.

  “April.”

  The whispered voice stilled my heart, and suddenly I was right back in the cornfield at Henry’s. With my blood now pumping hard, I reached into my pocket for my phone to call for help—only to realize I’d left it in my bag.

  “April.”

  “Scott will know it was you,” I threatened in the least threatening voice I’d ever heard. “He’ll hunt you down and—”

  The lights flickered back on, making me blink involuntarily. “Jesus, April. That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

  I glared at Rowan as I marched over to my bag, my heart pounding. He followed. I sidestepped and held my arm out. “Don’t come near me.”

  “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

  I fought back tears. “How the fuck is blinding me and taunting me in the dark going to do anything other than scare me?” I swung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door, but remembered that voice—the one that had whispered my name. I spun around to face him. “Have you ever hung out in Henry Brice’s cornfield?”

  His face twisted. “What? Of course not!”

  I eyed him suspiciously. “If I find out you’re lying to me—”

  “You think it was me who attacked you?” He reached out to me, his eyes filled with horror. “How could you think that?”

  “I don’t know what to think anymore,” I choked, backing up toward the door.

  Rowan softened. “I would never hurt you.”

  “I don’t know who to trust.”

  “You can trust me. I would never abandon you—not the way Scott did.”

  I clenched my fists. “Don’t! Don’t you say his name.”

  “Where is he, April? Where is your hero when you need him most?”

  “Stop it,” I whispered.

  “What on earth do you see in a guy who doesn’t give a shit about you?”

  I squeezed my eyes closed. “Shut up.”

  “He’s long gone, living it up with any number of girls, and you’re here waiting for Prince Asshole to come back for you.”

  “Shut. Up.”

  “You have the opportunity of a lifetime, April. Don’t let whatever he did to you fuck it up. You need to pull your shit together before you go to Harvard, or you’re going to throw it all—”

  “I’m not going to Harvard!” My voice echoed through the hollow room. My heart hammered harder against my ribs with my revelation. It was something I’d decided long ago, but hadn’t had the courage to tell anyone. How could I explain that I wouldn’t even live through my first semester? What was the point of wasting time I couldn’t spare?

  “What?” Rowan asked, incredulous.

  I met his eyes. “I’m not ready to leave,” I said, meaning it in more ways than one.

  Rowan scoffed. “Not ready? You’ve wanted this your whole life!”

  “I’m not discussing this with you.” I threw the door open. “Stay away from me.”

  “April!”

  His voice echoed through the gym as I jogged to my car. How could I have been so stupid? Of course Rowan would be a suspect. Despite his claims he didn’t want to lose me, he had the biggest reason to want me gone. He was jealous. Jesus, Scott was gone and he still couldn’t have me!

  I gripped the steering wheel and shook it, angry with myself for not even considering it could’ve been Rowan in that field. My attacker knew my name. He knew I’d be at Henry’s if I wasn’t home. Duke knew Rowan, so he wouldn’t have growled or barked at him before he’d attacked me.

  Stupid, stupid!

  By the time I’d skidded to a halt in my driveway and slammed my car door closed, I was trembling. Furious and horrified, hot and cold, sweating, my throat dry.

  “Dad!” I called as I threw open the front door. “Dad, I need to tell you—”

  Dad rose from the couch, as did Mom, and turned to face me, their faces solemn.

  “April,” Mom said, stepping toward me.

  “What?” My heart skipped a beat as I rounded the living room corner. “What’s happ—?” My keys slipped from my fingers and fell to the floorboards with a thwack!

  Scott Parker rose slowly from the corner couch. “Hello, April.”

  Chapter 35

  (Scott)

  My pulse pounded in my ears. April stood before me, pale and thin, her gr
and entrance reduced to a statuesque stance. There was a look of such pain in her eyes it pierced my heart like a sword. I swallowed hard. “I came as soon as I—”

  “Get out,” she said, softly.

  My heart plummeted, making me dizzy. Of course.

  Celia reprimanded her daughter. “April.”

  “No,” I said, nodding. “I deserved that.”

  I looked down before glancing up at her again, drinking in just one more image of her before I respected her wishes. I nodded my farewell to her parents, then retreated.

  April didn’t follow.

  My boots crunched the dirt beneath me as I walked back to Henry’s, my throat constricted and my chest tight with sadness. What did I expect? That she’d jump into my arms after I’d left her in a coma? A coma! I hadn’t even said goodbye—not really. I should’ve called her as soon as I’d stepped out of that temple in Kathmandu. I should’ve let her know I was coming so it wouldn’t have been such a shock. I should’ve called to see if she wanted me to come back, because apparently the answer was no and I could’ve saved us both a lot of pain.

  Henry stood from the couch when I entered the house, looking at me expectantly. All I had to do was shake my head and keep walking, disappointment radiating from his hunched frame as I drifted past him and down to my room, closing the door behind me. The mattress was firm beneath me as I sat on the edge of my bed and stared into the darkness.

  Get out.

  Her first words to me since she’d had a heart attack in the hospital. I rubbed my face, my memory pulling up images of her beneath me on that final night, staring into me, her eyebrows pushed together in pleasure as she’d moaned my name. The way she’d slept peacefully in my arms afterward, her flesh pressed against mine, soft and warm.

  Safe.

  She’d been safe. Secure in the knowledge I loved her. Protected in my firm embrace.

  Until I’d fallen asleep and let her go …

  Celia’s voice drifted down the hall. “Where is he?”

  Without hesitation, I opened my door and met her in the living room.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, clasping her hands together. “She’s just … she hasn’t …”

  “You don’t need to explain, Mrs. Fletcher.”

  She held one hand up. “No, I do. You see, ever since she woke up in that hospital …” She sighed and lowered herself to the couch. “You’re the first person she asked to see, and when you weren’t there …”

  I lowered my head.

  “She had to be sedated, Scott. For two days. The doctors feared she’d give herself another heart attack. And it’s like she’s still sedated, you know? She doesn’t smile. I can’t remember the last time …”

  I closed my eyes and saw April’s head on my pillow, our noses almost touching, my fingertips brushing the underside of her breast to make her smile in her sleep.

  I turned away.

  “She doesn’t paint anymore. And the paintings she had done over the years—she took a box cutter to them. Destroyed them beyond repair.”

  I glanced at Henry, who nodded. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

  Celia leaned forward. “She’s my daughter, and I’m terrified—” She choked on her words, lifting her hand to her mouth to compose herself. “She doesn’t want to talk about going to school in the fall. She barely leaves her room, let alone the house. She won’t talk about what happened on your camping trip before she nearly drowned.” Her hand was suddenly clasping mine. “What happened, Scott? What on God’s green earth happened?”

  My mouth opened, only to shut again. How could I explain something like that to April’s mother? I couldn’t—wouldn’t—betray April like that.

  Celia shook her head. “I wasn’t born yesterday,” she said, as if she’d read my mind. “They told me April was naked when she was brought into the hospital. But,” she said, squeezing my hand, “I’m not surprised it came to that. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

  She had? Why hadn’t I seen it before spring break? Had April been that unwilling to let her true feelings show?

  “I doubt she’ll look at me that way again,” I finally said, lowering my eyes to where Celia’s hand grasped mine.

  As if pulled from a daze, she let go. “Do you love her, Scott? I can’t imagine you’d throw yourself in front of an SUV for her if you didn’t.”

  “Then why do you ask, if you already have your answer?”

  She faced me, her height equaling April’s.

  “I need to hear you say it if I’m to allow you anywhere near my daughter again.”

  And like April, she got straight to the point. I nodded. “After her reception tonight, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.”

  The corner of her mouth curled up, as if I’d said something humorous. “You’re as bad as she is, you know.”

  “Oh? How’s that?”

  “You both have this … impenetrable wall around you.” It was then that I realized her smirk was only in place to hide her sadness. She let it fall away as she reached up and smoothed my collar with the hands of a loving mother. It was disorienting. No one had treated me like a son since the year I’d first lost April. “I really hoped you’d be the one to break her wall down. But you can’t do that unless you break your own down, first.”

  She gave Henry a melancholy smile as she turned for the door, and he threw it my direction once she’d passed. He didn’t have to say anything. I doubted Celia would keep me away from April, but I couldn’t really take that risk. “I would die for her.”

  Celia spun to face me, her eyes wide.

  I stood taller. “I am in love with your daughter. Deeply. I’d do anything to make her happy.”

  Her smile grew as her tears shone. She nodded, her breath escaping her before she pulled herself together. “Then we’ll see you for breakfast tomorrow,” she said, before slipping out the door, into the darkness.

  *****

  Breakfast, as it turned out, wasn’t high on April’s list of priorities the next day. No one addressed the elephant in the room—which sat in the place April would’ve been sitting had she decided to join us—and Celia’s interpretation of gratitude concerning my love for her daughter consisted of filling me with pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and orange juice to the point I thought I might burst. In fact, if April had waltzed into the room and declared her love for me right then and there, I feared I might have done exactly that.

  I couldn’t pretend her absence didn’t hurt, but nor could I refuse her the right to ignore me.

  “Scott, Celia and I have to go out of town at the end of the week,” Alan said as he refilled his coffee. “I’d sure appreciate it if you kept an eye on April for us. She’s refusing to join us, and part of me believes it has something to do with the fact she wanted to be here when you returned, regardless of her attitude last night.”

  “Of course.” Little did he know I’d been watching April like a hawk for two years prior to my departure.

  “We still don’t know if April’s attack was random, and while she has her suspicions over whom it might’ve been, there was no physical evidence left at the scene to confirm it.” He took a sip from his mug. “I have a patrol car situated down the driveway to deter any further attacks, but that’s about as much as I could do without hiring a bodyguard.”

  Something didn’t sit right. Something other than the fact April was attacked. I cleared my throat. “Who does April suspect?”

  He waved me off. “Never mind that. April’s been through too much lately to make any sound judgments.”

  My heart sank. Celia flashed me a solemn look.

  “Besides, I always receive death threats after prosecuting someone. Comes with the territory.”

  “Is that what the police think this is? Retribution?” I asked.

  Alan shook his head. “With no evidence, they don’t know what to think. But they’re leaning more towards a random attack.”

  A sickly feeling curdled in my vein
s.

  He abruptly stood up, bent down to give Celia a kiss on the cheek, then scooped up his briefcase. “Good to have you back, Scott,” he said, before heading out the door.

  “April thinks it might have been Rowan,” Celia confessed as soon as Alan’s car was spewing up dust in its wake.

  “Rowan?”

  I stood to clear the plates from the table, but she placed her hand over mine to stop me, ordering me back into my seat. Now was not the time to relax, though.

  “She’s been going to the gym with him—self-defense classes—and he pulled a prank last night that scared her.”

  I clenched my jaw, barely able to contain my anger. My voice had to edge its way through my teeth. “A prank?”

  Celia shrugged. “She wouldn’t go into details. Just said that he spoke like the man who’d attacked her in the cornfield, and yelled at her about …”

  I tensed. “About what?”

  “You. He said some horrible things about her relationship with you.”

  I turned and gripped the back of the chair, my anger and frustration bubbling up.

  “But, like Alan said, there was no evidence,” she added, as if rehearsing a line.

  Just then, April emerged from the hall. I straightened quickly. “April.”

  She directed her attention to Celia. “Have you seen my phone? I’m meeting Stella in town.”

  Celia pointed to where it sat, not one foot from where I was standing. April hesitated, refusing to meet my eyes.

  “Maybe Scott could join you?” Celia suggested.

  “It’s a girls’ day, Mom.” The color rose in her cheeks as she shifted on her feet. She’d always been a terrible liar.

  I collected her phone, holding it out for her. “Then allow me to drive you?”

  Her eyes narrowed, burning as they cut through me for a split second. “I’ve managed just fine without you for the last two months, thank you very much.” The catch in her throat gave away her second lie. She snatched the phone from my palm, careful not to touch me, and all but ran for the door.

  I stood still, my palm still facing up, watching as she fumbled with her keys at the car door.

  Celia stopped beside me. “She’ll come around. You’ll see.”