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No Time To Mourn

Page 4

by Shawn Pinkston


  The door opens, letting in breeze and ringing the bell. I look over and my eyes go wide. Why in the hell would he come in here? It is close maybe he frequents this place. With all the stuff he has to hear, he must need a break at some point. My psychologist walks across the room and sits next to me. "Hey Michael."

  "Hello..." I greeted him almost sarcastically.

  The bartender reappears wiping his hands with the towel from his shoulder. He waits.

  "I'll have the same."

  The sluggish man pours a glass and walks away.

  "What are you doing doc?" I ask earnestly "You probably come here a lot?"

  "Sometimes." He looks around as he takes a drink. He set the glass down and pushes up his eyeglasses.

  I get the feeling something is weighing on the guy. "Did you come to see me?"

  "Well as you know the drapes are open in my office. I seen that you went to the bar so I decided to come and talk to you." He chews on his fingernails as if he is anticipating something.

  "I thought our session was over for the week?"

  "It is but I want to talk about something else."

  I wait and he just stares. "Well what the hell is it?"

  We both take a drink then he gives a big sigh and speaks in a hushed voice. "Listen, I know you're going through a lot and it probably seems like I badger you in our sessions," You got that right. He continues. "But it's my job and I have to sort through all the loose ends and for the record I believe every word you have said." He heaves another big sigh.

  "Okay..." I answer. I can't tell we wants to say more.

  "Look, anything I say has to stay at this bar."

  "I can agree to that." Anticipation has risen.

  "I just want you to know that the uh- Major fellow… he has… he has been convicted in the military trail and has been moved to a maximum security prison. He was charged with multiple crimes against humanity, including forcing others to go along. So even though you didn’t want to testify against him I thought i’d let you know what had happened with that whole thing." The doctor just lays it all on the table in one spill. He stays silent for a moment allowing the information to sink in.

  It hit me like a wall. What am I supposed to think? I can still see The Major’s smirking scowl has he aides in my murdering of an innocent woman. It is my secret. I refused to kill any more and put my pistol to my head only to have Major kick it from my hand before the trigger had been pulled. If the helicopter hadn't been heard off in the distance I may have dove for the gun and tried again. Every time I think about Major, flashbacks seem to be thrown at me like gunshots firing though each of my brain's synapses. I can’t shake them no matter how much medication I consume. I take a moment to compose my thoughts and think hard about some kind of response. The only question I can must upon hearing this news is, "How far away?"

  "Arizona I think. I just thought you should know, it may help." The doctor pulls a five dollar bill from his pocket and lays it on the bar. He then makes a quiet exit save for the ringing bell.

  It takes a minute to sink in. I was left in awe. So I drink, trying not to over-do-it seeing as I still need to drive. After a few drinks it registers as a positive. It does help. I don't have to worry about him being in command of another group or even killing a whole other village. My burden is my own. It won’t go away. I will have to live with the scars on conscious forever. This is a good thing though. I drink the last of my glass, pay the bartender and leave with a pep in my step. The day seems a little brighter now. Things may start turning around. I am almost looking forward to going home and living the ordinary life that I love to hate so much. My daughter is the only thing keeping me going and now I at least have a small burden lifted from my shoulders. Just hearing the fact that the monster known simply as Major has been locked behind bars so far away makes everything just a little easier or maybe it’s just the alcohol. I hop in the car, jovially revving the engine, and then I back out of the space and continue home. Some affliction had been removed from my soul. A conviction is tangible evidence of ridding the life sucking hindrance. I take a deep breath as I pull to a stop under the gleaming glow of a red traffic light. I look at myself in the mirror seeing the red color splash across my face. Tomorrow, work at the state park's gun range may not be so boring. Jack seems to have settled in just nicely. I crave another fight. Just one more life or death struggle. For a year before Major came along I fought hard and I continued to fight hard under Major. I was ruthless and sometime got carried away but never, ever like that day. Honorable Discharge. The thought stings the mind at all angles. Now i'm reduced to mediocre lifestyles with only that bastard in a cage and my daughter to look forward to. The light flashes green. I accelerate while flipping on the stereo. I have to change six stations before something good pops up. Seems to be a lot of news broadcasted at the moment. My being in the war always made me pay some attention to the propaganda, simply as a statistic but I never cared to listen. It was usually some catastrophe in some other part of the world. Petty’s You Don’t Know How It Feels plays low from the rear speakers and it helps to get my mind right. Drowned in my own thoughts, I focus on the life before me. As far as i'm concerned it’s a new chapter with an open road in front. It may not be what I want the most but I have a wife and child to provided for and it’s time to switch gears whether I want to or not. These thought will always plague me but I will block them out or suppress them. Like Jack I just need a new outlook. I try and focus on some of the techniques the shrink told me about. He is probably a quack but what the hell, it couldn't hurt. I repeat to myself, life should be bearable now. He said repetition is the key... Life should be bearable. Everything is finally okay. Life is bearable.

  Chapter Four

  No Time To Mourn

  Only once the tiny, cork topped vial was safe inside its protective metal casing could William finally sit back in his swivel chair and relax. He pushed up his spectacles and wiped the sweat from his balding crown. Once the little brown liquid was out of his hands could he breathe heavy sigh with a deep relief. He had taken a final sample and readied it for processing. Some tests results have already come in. The last three days have been taking multiple samples and following through with many tests. The images covered the large computer monitor and cast a light blue hue across his face. Various pictures of bacteria-like figures, multiple charts measuring different areas of interest, and many pictures simply read: Test Results. William had been at it now for ten hours. By this time he had studied every measurement and thoroughly sifted through each portion. Furthermore he had dissected each component of each portion, breaking down the particles piece by piece and still the results were not clear. He looked through the images once more. Clicking from picture to picture he studied all the outcomes of all the tests. He read each one over again. After enacting every test in the book none of the results actually provided tangible results. He slammed his fist on the desk and stood from his chair.

  Something that is even more peculiar was the tiny message wrapped around the vial. Initially upon opening the box, William suspected it to be a package for another crew member or chemist until he read the note.

  THEY WILL BE HERE SOON

  William just stared at the little note. It was probably nothing. Just a little prank. If he could just find out what was in that vial he could piece this all together. William shoved the note into his pocket and unbuttoned his lab coat, revealing his waist tucked polo that exposed his plump gut. He took off his white lab jacket and threw it over the back of the chair. He turned on a heel and strode across his dimly lit lab heading straight for the coffee pot. Passing multiple stainless steel tables, littered with empty beakers and flasks. He passed his co-worker's desk and entered the tiny kitchenette that sat in the far corner of the room, safely tucked away from the rest of the room guaranteeing no research contamination. The coffee had been bubbling for the better part of an hour. Often William would stand in the small kitchen and nibble a sandwich or drink a few cups of black c
offee while pondering the question before him. What in the world is in the little glass vial. His small branch had received it anonymously. He wasn't any special analyst but he was thorough. This liquid acted like a virus but unlike a virus, it doesn't last. The cells would deteriorate once mitosis occurred. He reflected back to the small proteins in the dish just yesterday, upon applying a sample of the liquid he looked in through the microscope and watched as the bacteria attacked its own proteins and soon they would fizzle out. All we have to go on is the initial reaction of was what this odd chemical does which is perplexing in it of itself. Without the bacteria continually feeding off the specimen there was no way of knowing, with one hundred percent certainty, of which duration the attacking bacteria or what effect would accompany that attack. Thus leaving no hints as to what the damn thing is. He had done all he could here. Every possible outcome that could be investigated with the tools at his disposal were exhausted days ago. This liquid, whatever it is, doesn't seem to pose an imminent threat nor does it appear that it is a new parasite, bacteria, or virus that should be added to any sort of watch list.

  It still begs the question, what the hell is it? Where did it come from? William took a sip of his newly poured cup. He stared at his partner's desk. It had sat empty today. Both of the fledgling scientists had been working on this case, exploring every explorable avenue only to arrive at a dead end. He must admit that ego had gotten the best of them. If they could uncover the mystery of this anonymously sent package before sharing it with another, much larger branch they would be entitled to a nice pay raise. They should have told their higher up as soon as they received the contents. It could be a security threat but why would anyone send a dangerous object to a small outpost like their own. If harm was intended by the sender then you would think they would have administered this strange liquid in a different fashion. They have broken many protocols to try and figure out what exactly it is, and figure it out first. Finally they threw in the towel. His partner contacted their closest affiliate in Louisville. She left earlier yesterday to deliver a portion of the liquid. William had no way of testing the liquid on a live specimen and that is exactly what he hoped they could do at the larger, more developed lab. They should be well into testing by now with a night crew on staff. Unknowns are a high priority even if there is no obvious threat. William had stayed late tonight in hopes she would call with news. It was late and if any big discovery was made he would already know. The nagging itch of simply knowing what the vial contains would have to be scratched at a later time. The night had passed and the sun would be coming up soon.

  He poured the coffee down the drain, cleaned up the sandwich mess from earlier that day, and stowed everything back into the mini refrigerator. He turned and advanced across the lab towards his work area. He notice a small notification on his computer that hadn't been seen before. He arrived at his desk and clicked the confusing images away to find out that his email inbox was nearly full. His co-worker had been emailing him for hours. He must have been so consumed with his research that he must have had completely blocked out any notification sounds his computer may have made. He started with the top email. With each new email he read there was a gradual progression of excitement that was evident in the writing. He was about halfway through the email without really reading anything new when he heard a sound. It was a slight ringing from a distance away. He recognized it as his phone. He must have left it in his coat pocket. He advanced to the closet and snatched the door open. With the wooden barrier no longer muffling the ringing tune, the phone danced in his coat pocket and sung the dark room back to life. He grabbed he phone and looked at the screen. It was her.

  "Hello?" William could barely get the word out before she erupted on the other end.

  "Why haven't you answered you emails?" She took a breath and started again. "You won't believe what we found Will."

  "Julie, calm down and tell me. I'm sorry I was looking into the virus myself and still found nothing."

  "We have a lot. I'm sending you a video. So watch it. This is crazy. I'm glad I came up here. This is like nothing we have ever seen before." Her tone increases with every word.

  His email lights up. The balding man opens the message and plays the video. "Okay, I'm watching it now."

  She sounds so excited she can't contain herself. "Okay, so I tell them all we know. As you can see we administer the virus to a lone rat," William watches the video. It contains two boxes, one isolated rat in a box and another full of rats. "Now you see that the virus takes ahold pretty quick. The rat becomes sick, he becomes lethargic. He can't control his bowels. Now skip the video up about an hour."

  Will does as he is told. While the video is fast forwarding he watches the sped up imagery. The rats seems to, very quickly, go through severe pain and wretched sickness and convulsions.

  "Okay it’s playing now."

  "Now you will see the rat die," She is right, the rats passes and lays still. "Just wait and watch what happens."

  Slowly the rat begins to stir. His ears twitch and then his small feet too. His tail moves and then he appears to be getting up and standing on his feet. His eyes have a milky-green coating. He walks with a weak and gaunt step. William can't believe what he is seeing. This rat just came back to life! Is this a bad spin-off of some zombie flick?

  Julie chimes in again. "Speechless right? I know, I was too. The virus is also irradiated. But wait just wait," She pauses again and Will watches the screen. Soon the lone rat, who walks around looking hungry and snapping at the open air, falls over and dies again. "Isn't it the craziest thing. Now skip ahead and watch what happened in the other box."

  The inquisitive man does. He watches as they inject a single rat amongst the many. Soon he follows suit, same reactions as the rat before. The convulsions, regurgitating bloody food, and uncontrollable bowels all overtake the rat until he succumbs to the virus and dies. Soon he awakes and begins attacking every rat in sight. Many bitten and clawed rats run for cover in the barren, object free box. One rat gets the worst of this and goes down. The glossy eyed rat tears into his friend mercilessly. The others run away from the deranged pestilence. Soon a few rats with more severe bites begin to experience the same symptoms as earlier. Many start to die off after about an hour of skipped video. The attacked and mauled rat hasn't awoken, William could see how the infected rat had eaten a hole through the stomach. The cage was littered with feces, tiny entrails, and bloody fleshy wads. The mossy eyed rat wouldn't attack the bitten or clawed ones after they had started their convulsions. Soon there were many gaunt looking, white-green eyed rats feeding off the unchanged victims. William's mouth dropped as he watched the carnage unfold.

  "It so fucked up isn't it?" Julie breaks the silence and speaks first.

  "I can't understand what the hell i'm seeing."

  "I'm setting up a live feed from here to our lab," she goes silent and asks a nearby attendant a question and then her voice resurfaces." Okay there we go. Now take a look at the box of rats now.

  Will clicks his computer over and syncs his screen with the Louisville screen and watches the video. His mouth agape and his heart pounding, he just can't force his mind to wrap around what is happening just before his eyes. Apparently some time has gone by on the updated screen in real time. The infected rats haven't died. They feast on the other non infected rats. Some who have their stomachs full sit and groom the other rats or run the wheel as if they were usual rats. It seemed so perplexing.

  "I think we have isolated the cause of all this."

  "I'm all ears." Will takes a seat and lets out a groan of confusion.

  "As we have seen in our own lab, the cells when isolated tend to die off rather quickly. The same holds true for our poor dead rat here. One rat by himself will perish but you infect many and they not only survive they thrive." She take a pause to catch her breath.

  "So when they stay close together in a confined area then they live. Whether that be viral cells confined to a glass vial or infected
specimens in a limited space. Now tell me how." He rubs his temples.

  "Exactly. To answer your question, we think its the radiation. That is the source the virus feeds on. If the rats stay relatively close then that creates and emits enough radiation to keep the essential vitals alive and cognitive abilities intact. They still need the essentials like food and water but less of it and at lower quality. If you separate one it immediately starts to wither away. It is peculiar. There are a lot of variables unaccounted for and various questions that still remain like the possibility of the radiation going away after a while or mutation over a long period of time."

  He thinks and rubs his five o'clock shadow. "We still need to find out where the package originally came from," he stands and begins gathering things up. "Has anyone alerted the government yet?"

  "Not that I know of."

  "I was almost certain it could have been a matter of national security before but now i'm absolutely positive," William grabbed his coat, turned off his computer, and and cleaned his desk into a manageable mess. "I'm coming to Louisville. I want to be apart of this and I want to help. It's sunrise now so I should be there about midday." He didn't give Julie enough time to answer or protest. He slid his phone into his pocket and pocketed the cased vial of irradiated viral liquid. He clicked the screen off strode toward his office door.

  He walked out of the small office and locked the glass door with the words Central Kentucky CDC Outpost. He left the small office only equip to monitor local diseases and headed to his car in the hopes of being apart of history in the making with the deadly concoction that sloshed around in his pocket. He reached his car and collapsed inside. A lot was running through his mind. Who should they tell and in what order? Who absolutely needed to know and is it as big a threat as he has built it up in his head to be? Once he knew for sure what he was dealing with he decided he would then alert the authorities. Maybe that is what the note was from? Maybe it was sent to the wrong outpost. He took a deep breath to relax his nerves. He needed to relax and he had just the thing. He open his glove compartment and threw the papers out and other assorted trash until he found a crumpled cigarette pack. He open it and out fell a rolled marijuana joint. His ex wife had made him give up his "teenage" habit a long time ago. Every once in awhile he would partake to calm himself and clear his mind. He lite the thing and took a long drawl which ended in a choking fit. Soon a wave of relaxation flooded his brain releasing dopamine and other endorphins. The herculean task before him suddenly seemed very do able. He just needed to make it to Louisville.

 

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