The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

by Christopher K Germer

  Big Dipper: Goldstein, J. (1993). Insight meditation: The practice of freedom (p. 112). Boston: Shambhala.

  Mary Oliver reminds us in this poem: Oliver, M. (2005). “Mindful.” In Why I wake early: New poems (pp. 58–59). Boston: Beacon Press.

  “Knowing what you are experiencing while you’re experiencing it”: Armstrong, G. (2008, January 9). From a talk at the Mind and Life Institute Scientist’s Retreat, Insight Meditation Society, Barre, MA.

  Suddenly the city: Bamber, L. (2008). “Suddenly the city.” In Metropolitan Tang (p. 27). Jaffrey, NH: Black Sparrow.

  The “Default Network”: Gusnard, D., & Raichle, M. (2001). Searching for a baseline: Functional imaging and the resting human brain. Nature Reviews/Neuroscience, 2, 685–694.

  Default network during meditation using fMRI: Pagnoni, G., Cekic, M., & Guo, Y. (2008). “Thinking about not-thinking”: Neural correlates of conceptual processing during Zen meditation. PLoS ONE, 3(9). www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0003083.

  There are two categories of mindfulness meditation: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.

  the freedom to “respond” rather than “react”: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness (pp. 264–273). New York: Dell.

  Training Your Brain: Davidson, R. J., Kabat-Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rosenkranz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S., et al. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(4), 564–570.

  impact of the MBSR program on immune functioning: Myers, H., & Creswell, D. (2008). Mindfulness meditation slows progression of HIV, study suggests. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 28, 2008, from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080724215644. htm.

  interleukin-6: Pace, T., Negi, L., Adame, D., Cole, S., Sivilli, T., Brown, T. L, Issa, M., & Raison, C. (2008). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress. Psychoneuroimmunology, doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2008.08.011.

  parts of the brain even grow thicker: Lazar, S., Kerr, C., Wasserman, R., Gray, J., Greve, D., Treadway, M., et al. (2005). Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness. NeuroReport, 16(17), 1893–1897.

  What Mindfulness Is Not: Bhikkhu, T. (2008, Summer). Mindfulness defined: Street smarts for the path. Insight Journal (Barre Center for Buddhist Studies; pp. 11–15). Olendzki, A. (2008, Fall). The real practice of mindfulness. Buddhadharma: The Practitioner’s Quarterly (pp. 50–57). Siegel, R., Germer, C., & Olendzki, A. (2008). Mindfulness: What is it? Where did it come from? In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (pp. 17–35). New York: Springer.

  the power of brief mindfulness exercises: Singh, N., Wahler, R., Adkins, A., & Myers, R. (2003). Soles of the feet: A mindfulness-based self-control intervention for aggression by an individual with mild mental retardation and mental illness. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 24(3), 158–169.

  Chapter 3. BRINGING IN DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

  How can emotions not be part of that singing life: Hirshfield, J. (1997). In J. Smith (Ed.), Everyday mind (p. 46). New York: Riverhead Books.

  How We Create Suffering: Mindfulness is bottom-up processing, starting with simple sensation. See Siegel, R., Germer, C., & Olendzki, A. (2009). Mindfulness: What is it? Where did it come from? In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (p. 32) New York: Springer. Hart, W. (1987). The art of living: Vipassana meditation: As taught by S. N. Goenka. San Francisco: HarperCollins. Full quote (p. 97): “A sensation appears, and liking or disliking begins. This fleeting moment, if we are unaware of it, is repeated and intensified into craving and aversion, becoming a strong emotion that eventually overpowers the conscious mind. We become caught up in the emotion, and all our better judgment is swept aside. The result is that we find ourselves engaged in unwholesome speech and action, harming ourselves and others. We create misery for ourselves, suffering now and in the future, because of one moment of blind reaction.”

  Do We Have Free Will?: Libet, B. (1999). Do we have free will? In B. Libet, A. Freeman, & K. Sutherland (Eds.), The volitional brain: Towards a neuroscience of free will (pp. 47–57). Thorverton, UK: Imprint Academic.

  “Noting” is an umbrella term: See Young, S. (2006, October 16). How to note and label. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.shinzen.org/Retreat%20Reading/How%20to%20Note%20and%20Label.pdf.

  How does mindfulness meditation actually help balance our emotions?: Creswell, D., Way, B., Eisenberger, N., & Lieberman, M. (2007). Neural correlates of dispositional mindfulness during affect labeling. Psychosomatic Medicine, 69(6), 560–565.

  one set of basic emotions over any other: Ortony, A., & Turner, T. J. (1990). What’s basic about basic emotions? Psychological Review, 97, 315–331.

  comprehensive list of emotion words: DeRose, S. (2005, July 6). The compass DeRose guide to emotion words. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.derose.net/steve/resources/emotionwords/ewords.html.

  Over 50% of people in the United States have experienced trauma: Kessler, R., Sonnega, A., Bromet, E., Hughes, M., & Nelson, C. (1995). Posttraumatic stress disorder in the National Comorbidity Survey. Archives of General Psychiatry, 52(12), 1048–1060.

  sexually abused as children: Dube, S., Anda, R., Whitfield, C., Brown, D., Felitti, V., Dong, M., et al. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28 (5), 430–438. Finkelhor, D. (1994). Current information on the scope and nature of child sexual abuse. The Future of Children, 4 (2), 31–53. Gorey, K., & Leslie, D. (1997). The prevalence of child sexual abuse: Integrative review adjustment for potential response and measurement biases. Child Abuse and Neglect, 21 (4), 391–398.

  Chapter 4. WHAT’S SELF-COMPASSION?

  Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside: Nye, N. (1995). Kindness. In Words under the words (pp. 42–43). Portland, OR: Eighth Mountain Press.

  Loving-kindness is wishing happiness for another person: Dalai Lama & Vree-land, N. (2001). An open heart: Practicing compassion in everyday life (p. 96). New York: Little, Brown.

  “the heart quivers in response”: Silberman, S. (2008, January). Because life is difficult, the only choice is kindness (an interview with Sylvia Boorstein). Shambhala Sun, p. 69.

  Self-Compassion Scale: Neff, K. D. (2003). Development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2, 223–250. Neff, K. D. (2004). Self-compassion and psychological well-being. Constructivism in the Human Sciences, 9, 27–37.

  the wish to be happy and free from suffering: Dalai Lama. (2001). An open heart: Practicing compassion in everyday life (p. 30). New York: Little, Brown. H. H. Dalai Lama wrote: “The purpose of spiritual practice is to fulfill our desire for happiness. We are all equal in wishing to be happy and to overcome our suffering, and I believe we all share the right to fulfill this aspiration.”

  “tend and befriend”: Taylor, S. (2006). Tend and befriend: Biobehavioral bases of affiliation under stress. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(6), 273–2777 Taylor, S. (2002). The tending instinct: How nurturing is essential to who we are and how we live. New York: Times Books.

  the area of the brain called the insula: Blakeslee, S. (2007, February 6). A small part of the brain, and its profound effects. New York Times/Mental Health and Behavior. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.nytimes.com/2007/02/06/health/psychology/06brain.html?_r=1&scp = 1&sq=Blakeslee%20A%20small%20part%20of%20 the%20brain&st.

  people high in empathy had more gray matter: Blakeslee, S., & Blakeslee, M. (2007, August—September). Where body and mind meet. Scientific American Mind, pp. 44–51. Critchley, H. (2005). Neural mechanisms of autonomic, affective, and cognitive integration. Journal of Comparative Neurology, 493, 154–166. Critchley, H., Wiens, S., Rotshstein, P., Ohman, A.,
& Dolan, R. (2004). Neural systems supporting interoceptive awareness. Nature Neuroscience, 7, 189–195.

  mindfulness-based stress reduction: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.

  sensations enter the rear part of the insula: Craig, A. (2003). Interoception: The sense of the physiological condition of the body. Current Opinion in Neurobiology, 13, 500–505.

  increases in self-compassion were found after training: Shapiro, S., Brown, K., & Biegel, G. (2007). Teaching self-care to caregivers: Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in training. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, 1(2), 105–115.

  This being human is a guest house: Barks, C., & Moyne, J. (1997). The guest house. In The Essential Rumi (p. 109). San Francisco: Harper.

  18 personal “schemas”: Young, J., Klosko, J., & Weishaar, M. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide (pp. 14–17). New York: Guilford Press.

  working mindfully and compassionately with our schemas: Bennett-Goleman, T. (2001). Emotional alchemy. New York: Harmony Books.

  “orchestra without a conductor”: Singer, W. (2005, November 10). Lecture presented at the Mind and Life Institute Conference, The Science and Clinical Applications of Meditation, Washington, DC.

  a careful look at our mental activity: Fulton, P. R. (2008). Anatta: Self, non-self, and the therapist. In S. F. Hick & T. Bien (Eds.), Mindfulness and the therapeutic relationship (pp. 55–71). New York: Guilford Press.

  “compassion directed toward oneself is humility”: Weil, S. (1998). In E. Springsted (Ed.), Selected writings (p. 143). Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books.

  What Does the Research Show?: Neff, K. D. (2008). Self-compassion: Moving beyond the pitfalls of a separate self-concept. In J. Bauer & H. A. Wayment (Eds.), Transcending self-interest: Psychological explorations of the quiet ego. Washington DC: APA Books.

  softens the impact of negative events in our lives: Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887–904.

  when a self-compassionate person experiences academic failure: Neff, K. D., Hseih, Y., & Dejitthirat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self and Identity, 4, 263–287.

  self-esteem is not particularly related to how others evaluate them: Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and its link to adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139–154. Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (in press). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Journal of Personality.

  self-compassion isn’t related to narcissism: Webster, D., & Kruglanski, A. (1994). Individual differences in need for cognitive closure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 1049–1062.

  Dieting through Self-Compassion: Adams, C., & Leary, M. (2007). Promoting self-compassionate attitudes toward eating among restrictive and guilty eaters. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 26(10), 1120–1144.

  more strongly than scores on a mindfulness scale: Neff, K. (2008, April 16). Self-compassion, mindfulness, and psychological health. Paper presented at the 6th Annual International Scientific Conference for Clinicians, Researchers, and Educators, Worcester, MA.

  self-compassion predicts psychological well-being: Neff, K., Rude, S., & Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 908–916.

  compassionate mind training: Gilbert, P., & Procter, S. (2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: Overview and pilot study of a group therapy approach. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 13, 353–379.

  the future of self-compassion research is promising and bright: Preliminary investigations into a wide range of clinical conditions include: Thompson, B. & Waltz, J. (2008). Self-compassion and PTSD symptom severity. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 21(6), 556–558. Johnson, D., Penn, D., Fredrickson, B., Meyer, P., Kring, A., & Brantley, M. (2009). Loving-kindness meditation to enhance recovery from negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Journal of Clinical Psychology. Published online March 6, 2009, in session 65, 1–11.

  Chapter 5. PATHWAYS TO SELF-COMPASSION

  The time will come: Walcott, D. (1987). Love after love. In Derek Walcott: Collected poems, 1948–1984 (p. 328). New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

  Warm Hands, Warm Heart: Williams, L., & Bargh, J. (2008). Experiencing physical warmth promotes interpersonal warmth. Science, 322(5901), 606–607.

  The brain comprises only 2% of our body weight: Russell, P. (1979). The brain book: Know your own mind and how to use it (p. 67). New York: Routledge.

  “creative hopelessness”: Hayes, S. (2004). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the new behavior therapies: Mindfulness, acceptance and relationship. In S. Hayes, V. Follette, & M. Linehan (Eds.), Mindfulness and acceptance: Expanding the cognitive-behavioral tradition (p. 18). New York: Guilford Press.

  enjoyable activities can help: For a list of adult pleasant events, see pages 157–159 of: Linehan, M. (1993). Skills training manual for treating borderline personality disorder. New York: Guilford Press.

  “wisely selfish”: Dalai Lama & Hopkins, J. (2002). How to practice: The way to a meaningful life (pp. 80–81). New York: Atria Books.

  Spending Money on Others: Dunn, E., Aknin, L., & Norton, M. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687–1688.

  The merciful man does himself good: New American Standard Bible. (1997). Proverbs 11:17. La Habra, CA: Foundation Publications.

  On traversing all directions with the mind: Ireland, J. (1997). “Udana” and the “Itivattaka”: Two classics from the Pali Canon (p. 62). Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society.

  as they love their own bodies: International Standard Version, New Testament. (1998). Ephesians 5:28. Fullerton, CA: Davidson Press.

  Savoring refers to: Bryant, R., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience (p. xi). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

  I can wade Grief—: Dickinson, E. (1995). I can wade grief. In J. Parini (Ed.), The Columbia University anthology of American poetry (p. 250). New York: Columbia University Press.

  Research has shown that the savoring of pleasant experiences: Bryant, R., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience (pp. 198–215). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

  Interventions for Happiness: Seligman, M., Rashid, T., & Parks, A. (2006). Positive psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 61 (8), 774–788.

  What Are Positive Emotions?: Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J., & Barrett, L. (2008). Handbook of emotions (3rd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.

  A review of over 225 published papers: Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131(6), 803–855. Mobini, S., & Grant, A. (2007). Clinical implications of attentional bias in anxiety disorders: An integrative literature review. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 44, 450–462.

  The Emotional Brain: Miller, C. (2008, September 22). Sad brain, happy brain. Time, pp. 51, 52, 56. Harrison, N., & Critchley, H. (2007). Affective neuroscience and psychiatry. British Journal of Psychiatry, 191, 192–194. Davidson, R. (2003). Affective neuroscience and psychophysiology: Toward a synthesis. Psychophysiology, 40, 655–665. Phan, K., Wagner, T., Taylor, S., & Liberzon, I. (2002). Functional neuro-anatomy of emotion: A meta-analysis of emotion activation studies in PET and fMRI. Neuroimage, 16 (2), 331–348.

  Reptiles have rudimentary elements of the limbic system: Konner, M. (2003). The tangled wing: Biological constraints on the human spirit. New York: Macmillan.

  college yearbook photographs: Har
ker, L., & Keltner, D. (2001). Expression of positive emotion in women’s college yearbook pictures and their relationship to personality and life outcomes across adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(1), 112–124.

  Catholic nuns: Danner, D., Snowdon, D., & Friesen, W. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the Nun Study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(5), 804–813.

  positive emotions allow us to see the big picture: Fredrickson, B. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, 359, 1367–1377. Wadlinger, H., & Isaacowitz, D. (2006). Positive mood broadens visual attention to positive stimuli. Motivation and Emotion, 30 (1), 87–99.

  “The one you feed”: This parable has over 200 online entries and it’s origin is unclear. Retrieved September 25, 2008, from blog.beliefnet.com/jwalking/2 0 07/03/ cherokee-wisdom.html.

  Research shows that expressing anger: Bushman, B. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame?: Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731. Lewis, W., & Bucher, A. (1992). Anger, catharsis, the reformulated frustration—aggression hypothesis, and health consequences. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 29(3), 385–392.

  Between these two my life flows: Nisargadatta Maharaj, Dikshit, S., & Frydman, M. (2000). I am that: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta (p. 269). Durham, NC: Acorn Press.