by Alice Moore
“So, what about your parents, William?” Casting me a curious glance, Risha posed her question with caution, and I reached to swipe my beard with my free palm.
“My parents live in upstate New York. I actually just visited them a few weeks ago- I guess my father finally convinced my mother to get some goats.” Smiling at the memory, warmth spread through me as my mother’s annoyed face flashed in my mind’s eye. “She hates farm animals. She didn’t even want to get dogs when I was growing up. I don’t even want to know how he managed to pull off goats.”
“My mom hates animals, too. She always said they’re too much work. That’s why I’m an only child, too.” The sudden turn in conversation tightened my chest, and my mind snapped to the present as Risha sighed heavily. Dismal rejection rippled across her features, and I reached out without thought to brush her pinked cheek. Her skin was smooth, soft, and the sensation caused goosebumps to rise on my arm under my shirt.
“It must’ve been lonely. I don’t think I could be content with just one child.” Absently tracing her jaw, I frowned while Risha sat still to hesitantly accept my touch. Pleasantness evened out her expression, and she hummed quietly as my tongue grew thick behind my teeth. “I just haven’t found the right woman. When you approached me about Anna, I had already had my suspicions, of course- but I’m beginning to think you’re right. She wants to go to dinner next week at the Wendel, and she knows I don’t care for that particular restaurant.”
“Why are you going, then?” The soft beat of Risha’s pulse throbbed against my fingertips, and I mimicked her hum. Truthfully, I was still searching for that answer; Anna didn’t give me anything but a vague response. Circling Risha’s pulse point with my thumb, my gaze flickered to her face as she tilted her head in acceptance. A shallow crease appeared between her eyebrows, her expression a mask of sluggish, tipsy enjoyment that picked up the corners of my mouth.
“I don’t know. She said it was important, but I’ve been considering calling us off. After what you told me, I started to realize how little I know her… how much she pushes me back when I try. It’s frustrating.” Blinking slowly, I clenched my jaw when Risha gulped to draw my focus to her neck. The action flexed against my palm, and I gave a soft squeeze that sent her gasp into the small space between us.
Stiffening at how close we were, I forced my hand from her neck to clear my throat harshly. Before me Risha flopped her head forward with a groan, grabbing my wrist to keep my fingers from slipping from her skin completely.
“Don’t. I like it.” Breathy and slow, Risha’s confession struck a chord in my heart, and I gripped her slender column firmly. My beer was going straight to my head, and I leaned forward to mindlessly press my lips to hers. Just like I knew they’d be, she was soft and slightly fruity from her wine, and after a moment she kissed me back. Cupping the back of her head, my palm tingled as she raked her fingers through my hair.
Only when Risha pulled back to breathe shallow pants did my brain kickstart, and I rubbed my thumb over her artery as she licked her lips. Her dark eyes were clouded, and her hand slipped from the nape of my neck before I realized what I’d done.
“Shit…” Leaning back, I carefully released Risha’s neck as she blinked dazedly. I hadn’t opened this gate to myself in so long, and yet she was bringing it out of me without even doing anything. “I’m sorry, Risha- that was wrong of me. You’re drunk and I-“
A long, perfectly manicured finger touched my lips to cut me off, and she shook her head. Shame speared my chest, and it festered the longer she kept quiet. Holding my breath, I sat in tense expectation for her to open her mouth.
“Don’t apologize, William. If anyone is wrong here, it’s me. I- Is it okay if we meet up again when I don’t do something stupid beforehand?” Nodding dumbly, I frantically worked to staunch the shouting that rattled my skull. Shakily reaching with her free hand, Risha fumbled around her purse before pulling out her phone. “I’m going to call a cab.”
For a second I watched through wide eyes as she struggled with her phone with one hand while the other still pressed against my mouth. Risha was sloshed- or the equivalent a woman could get on wine. Reaching to take the device, I wrapped my free hand around her wrist to lick my lips. Her taste lingered, and I adjusted her phone in my palm before speaking up.
“Risha, I’ll drive you home. Come on.” Sliding from my stool, I set Risha’s phone back in her purse to wrap my arm around her waist. She didn’t protest, leaning heavily against my side as she struggled to stand on her low heels. “Slowly, slowly.”
“I- I just don’t understand why she wants you.” We almost made it to the exit when Risha spoke up, staring at her feet with a slight scowl. “You’re so- so… so nice… and you’re more likely to say ‘no’. Anna hates that.”
Stiffening at her mumble, my mind flew back to the few times I’d told Anna ‘no’. She’d gotten annoyed, not answering my texts until she’d calmed down. She didn’t have a single ounce of humility, and I tried to ignore it. Like a teenager, oblivious to her faults.
“I mean, I know how it starts. She seems so nice, so sweet, so- so pleasant. But it doesn’t last. Did she ask you for a car yet?” The more she grumbled, the more Risha riled herself up, and she flung back her head. Surprise rippled through me, and I clenched my teeth as she let out a harsh, little scoff. “Of course she did… hers broke down, right? But going with her to pick out a used car was too tedious, and she didn’t want to bother you with it. So, you just gave her a check.”
That’s exactly what happened. Stepping out into the cold, blustering street, I held Risha’s wobbling form closer to mine. Sharp wind cut against my face, and her hair flew every which way. Anger knotted around my heart, my lungs shuddering in their cage as I took in the freezing cold air. Anna had to go early to make her client meeting, and I had just gotten to work. She didn’t want me to leave when I just got there.
“Just relax, Risha. Where do you live?” In only a few strides down the sidewalk we reached my car, and I fished out my keys to carefully sit Risha in the driver’s seat. Rolling my jaw, I closed the door and rounded my car as my brain skimmed through everything she’d revealed. Obviously she knew Anna very well, and I jammed my key into the ignition with a low grunt.
Anna didn’t tell her friends about me, to the point that one of them actually sought me out. She only wanted to do things that cost me, and a quiet night in wasn’t an option. Anna only called or texted if she wanted to do something, or if she needed money.
The scenes were coming together to paint a very bad picture.
“You shouldn’t go to that dinner.” Slowly pulling off the curb, I tightened my grip on the wheel at Risha’s loud, slurred declaration. “Especially if you don’t like the place. I mean- one time Cynthia and I tried out this place that had terrible seafood, and it just ruined our entire week. We couldn’t get over it. The sushi was falling apart and kinda old, and the sake wasn’t drinkable. And the shrimp- oh my god, it just disintegrated on my fork.”
“I hope they didn’t charge you for that, Risha.” Glancing across the center console, I watched through narrowed eyes as Risha’s perfect face contorted in disgust. Even then she was beautiful, and she clapped her hands together loudly. Taking a slow turn, my hands ached at the turn this night had taken.
“William…?” Rolling to a stop in front of a blinking red light, I leaned back in my seat as she crossed the center console. Risha’s wine-stained breath glided across my cheek, and I held my breath as she whispered in my ear. “I lied to you. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”
My head whipped to the side, and I reached automatically to grab Risha’s jaw. In her drunken state she hiccupped in surprise, her throat flexing as I squeezed in my shock. My heart thundered in my chest, blood pounding against my ear drums as she rasped against my lips. Her smell enveloped me, and if it wasn’t for the wine that tinged it I would’ve kissed her again.
“I’m not mad, Risha. Tell me what you lied abou
t.” The night was so late that no one bothered to honk at me, simply choosing to drive around me and fly through the red light. Normally busy streets were empty, and I focused entirely on Risha. My body moved on its own as my mind went back to everything we’d said to each other, pulling her over the center console to straddle my lap. I barely registered the fact that she hadn’t even buckled herself.
“I- I can’t… you’ll hate me, and you won’t believe me anymore.” Big, fat tears welled in Risha’s eyes while her mumble traveled around my palm, and my eyes narrowed on her wet lashes. “I just want you to be happy.”
Her confession hit me right in my heart, and I slid my hand down to her neck fully. The pulse points throbbed wildly, and she sniffled a choked sound when I squeezed in warning.
“Tell me now, Risha.” The command ripped harshly from my chest, and Risha’s pupils widened as one, brave tear escaped. “Tell me what you lied about. I won’t ask again.”
Jesus- I haven’t said that in nearly decade. Grinding my teeth together, I watched with a growing, familiar irritation swirling in my gut. When did I decide to settle?
I pondered the answer to that question before Risha slowly shook her head.
“I won’t. You can’t know yet.” Staring hard at her, I licked my teeth at the realization that I wouldn’t get any more from her. She was drunk, on the defensive, and I pulled her to my chest to stare out the windshield. Gently stroking her hair, my hands tingled with an urge I hadn’t felt in years.
To bend her over my knee and slap her ass until she gave me what I wanted. After I turned 30, I closed that chapter of my life because no one fired my blood anymore. Every woman was just like the last- boring. No one excited me, and after a while I figured the problem was with me.
“I’m… sorry… for once I’m the one that ruined everything.” Mumbling into my jacket, Risha peeked up at me from beyond her long lashes with sparkling eyes. Frowning deeply, I didn’t bother to offer a reply before wrapping my arms around her to grab the wheel. Rolling through the intersection, I circled my jaw absently as I took deep, calming breaths.
Risha’s house was part of the RedRock district, so named for its sprawl of brick factories that were in the midst of being remodeled for new uses. It’d been 12 years since the project began, but only half the area had been transformed. Slowly driving through the worse off, southern end, I peered around at the endless expanse of dirty, old red. The construction began in the north end, and that was where Risha lived.
So many businesses could get their start in these new, cheap buildings; most of the structural integrity hadn’t been compromised, so it was basically a glorified clean-up job.
“Risha… we’re here.” Carefully pulling my key out of the ignition, I mumbled absently before glancing down. Risha had passed out completely, and she didn’t react in any way to my announcement. Sighing heavily, I popped open the driver’s side door to stick one leg out into the cold.
A navy blue Sedan sat in the driveway, and I held Risha’s firm body tightly to glance around. 117*2 was plastered in thick, bronze numbers on her front door, and my lips pursed together before I decided to knock rather than use her keys.
“-he delivery guy better not have interrupted my s-“ The door flung open, revealing a scantily clad Cynthia wearing nothing more than lacy underwear and red cheeks. My eyes widened as her jaw dropped, drawing my gaze to her flat, scarred chest. Right before me big hands covered those marks, and I shook my head wildly before clearing my throat.
“You must be Cynthia… I’m-“
“I know who you are. Why are you here?” Furrowing my brows in question, I watched Cynthia pull a face as Martin Callucci rested his dimpled chin on her crown. “I mean, obviously Risha drank too much- she can’t handle her wine too well. Isn’t the gentlemanly thing to do to bring her back to your place, wait till she sobers up, and confess how sexually attracted you are to her before you make hot, passionate love on the couch?”
My mouth dried at such a detailed description, and I coughed roughly as discomfort slithered around in my lungs. Goosebumps rose on my arms, but before I could even open my mouth Martin spoke up. He and I were friends, no matter how loosely, and my gaze flickered to him to narrow.
“You have to break up with that woman, first, right? From what I’ve heard, Marishka can turn any man into a cheater.” A hard elbow to his side shut Martin up, and he grunted as I watched the exchange in silence. “Not me, baby. Her ass is too small, and her tits are too big.”
“Actually…” Cutting into the conversation, I took a small step forward in an attempt to get into Risha’s home. “I’d rather not discuss it with either of you. So, if I can just set her somewhere, I’ll be on my way.”
“No need to be pushy. Her room is on the left up the stairs, second door. But watch out…” Grinning wickedly at me as she stepped aside, Cynthia stuck out her tongue to hiss quietly. “She’s got lizards.”
Chapter Six: William
“Does Anna you’re seeing another woman? You should just break up with that woman, you know. She’s ghastly.” Scowling at Nash, I stabbed my lasagna even as he leaned back in his chair, his hands raised in surrender. “I’m just sayin’… she’s got a gold eye. And she’s not even that attractive in the sense… like- what does she even do? She’s never cooked for you, never handmade you a present- nothing.”
“First of all, I’m not seeing another woman. And secondly…” Trailing off, I stared down at my plateful through narrowed eyes. Natalie had spent hours in the kitchen, and I could taste her excitement in the food. This was the first time Nash, Frank, and I were having our holiday dinner together.
Because we were all usually so miserably single that we had to spend a night together a month before Christmas. Luca and Julia were supposed to be here, but he was still on bad terms with his brother.
“You do realize Anna is literally everything you’ve ever hated in a woman, right? I mean, the glitz and glam of being in a relationship for the first time in 10 years has to be wearing off by now, Will.” Clenching my jaw, I jerked my head in a nod. Nash’s ability to read people was becoming an annoyance, but he didn’t stop with that sharp jab. “I mean, I get that you don’t want to come to the seminars anymore and whatever. It gets boring. But you shouldn’t have to deal with someone you’re not compatible with just because you can say ‘I’ve got a girlfriend’.”
“I agree.” Glancing over at Frank, I took in his permanently dark expression as he roughly swallowed his mouthful. Tapping his fork on his plate, he grimaced across the table. “Take out and restaurants get boring. A woman that can cook shouldn’t be taken with a grain of salt- especially if she likes it.”
“Do you know if this other woman can cook?” Turning to Natalie, I took in her probing slowly as I shoveled some salad into my mouth. She emanated a sense of self that was unparalleled, and even with her growing, unplanned bump she seemed like she had everything under control. Nash had told me several times about how he just knew she would fulfill his kink, and ‘the rest was history’.
It hit disturbingly close to home when I thought back to that night at the bar with Risha.
“According to her house mate, she does.” Admitting this small piece of information picked up the corners of my mouth, and Natalie grinned widely. “I wouldn’t call her the ‘other woman’ though. To be honest, I imagine it feels a lot like what happened between you two. I just- she makes me feel like I’m 28 again, but I’m still 42, you know? I can’t even remember the last time I used that tone.”
My gaze flickered to Nash to watch him nod; he knew what I meant. Clenching and releasing my fists, I held back a sigh as my mind flew to that night. I’d found out so many things about Risha just from my brief journey into her bedroom- things I had to work at to know about Anna.
And yet, there they were. Just out there for me to take in. When Cynthia said Risha had lizards, I didn’t know what to expect. But dinosaurs? She had a dozen stuffed animal dinosaurs, informative dinos
aur posters on her walls, even little dinosaur figurines on her dressers.
I didn’t even know what Anna’s favorite animal was.
“She’s definitely right about Anna being a gold digger, Will.” Disgust laced Frank’s deep voice, pulling me out of my fond memories and back to the present. “You should dump the bitch before she asks you for something completely outrageous.”
“Yeah- like the car wasn’t outrageous enough…” Snickering over his glass of whiskey, Nash shook his head as he rubbed Natalie’s baby bump absently with a smirk. “So, you should take the opportunity on tomorrow night. She’s making you go to an overly expensive ass restaurant that you don’t even like to meet someone she won’t tell you about. Just break up with her and leave her for the bill. If this girl is right, she’ll have the money to cover whatever she wants to eat. Alone.”
“Speaking of eating alone, have either of you talked to Luca lately? He’s been dodging my calls.” Changing the subject, relief surged through me as the focus of the conversation shifted instantly. My heart ached for my friend, but everyone else at the table seemed to be resigned to the fact that he was going down in a ball of fire. Drawn faces all around, even Natalie wore a sad-slash-angry expression as Frank grunted loudly.
“That idiot dick- Julia called me the other day saying he came back high on something. I had to go knock his ass out, tied him up in my apartment until he calmed down. He’s still there. I left him some cat food the old lady next door leaves out for the strays.” For a moment there was silent, shocked stares as Frank necked his beer, and I couldn’t stop the laughter that burst from my throat. Clutching my chest, my hand shook from the force of my mirth as I sprawled in my chair.
“You- you did not! Frank! That’s illegal!” Speaking through harsh gasps, I set my fork down with a clatter as Natalie and Nash cracked up across from me. Frank only snorted, and I took deep, heaving breaths as I pictured Luca in my mind’s eye.
