Not Just Lovely Laura

by Jessica Spencer

  For once, Laura gave in to her need to know about her mother. Until then she had listened at doors when the servants gossiped, or when her father spoke to himself when he was in his cups.

  “Why did Father let her go if he loved her?” she asked.

  “I wish I could answer that. I wasn’t here when it happened. Though it was lowering, I had to ask the housekeeper. The poor dear was devoted to your mother. All the servants were. It took a lot of persuasion before she told me that the quarrel was about a man.”

  “Do you know who he was?”

  “I can’t believe it was anything serious. Your mother adored Edward and doted on you and Gareth. She had a high moral standard. She couldn’t have flouted her marriage vows. It was either a misunderstanding on my brother’s part or a small lapse on the part of your mother.”

  “Why didn’t you help them reconcile? Why didn’t you go and see her?”

  “At first it was because I couldn’t leave Edward. He was in a terrible state. I feared for his mind. Later he wouldn’t hear of it.”

  “And my mother? Did she not try to see us?” Laura asked. Before her aunt could answer, she sprang up. “I don’t want to know! She didn’t come to the funeral! She may have cared then but she doesn’t care for us now!”

  ***

  Six months after Gareth inherited the title, Lydia made a brilliant match. Lady Helena was pleased for her but at the same time, her anxiety about Laura’s future increased. “You are seventeen,” she told Laura. “If we weren’t in mourning for dear Edward, I would have taken you to Bath, to visit with your great-aunt. That would have prepared you for a London Season.”

  Laura stared at her aunt. She couldn’t be serious! Lydia had told her all about the Season.

  “You can’t expect to meet eligible men by staying at home. Gareth has some friends but it will be the out and out of everything if we were to have a house party for only young men.”

  “We can invite your cousins, Aunt Nell.”

  “I doubt they will accept. Poor Edward ordered them off the property when they slandered your mother. It will be best if we go to London next year. Perhaps we should attend the Small Season.”

  “ Aunt Nell...”

  “Yes, dear?”

  Laura flushed a deep pink. “What if nobody invites us or gives us the direct cut?”

  “What a nonsensical idea! Who has been filling your head with such talk?”

  If possible, Laura turned a deeper shade of pink. “Some months ago I overheard you and Great-aunt Esther. She said the Scandal about Mama had never died down. There were those who would judge me by her behavior. Families high in the instep would not want to associate with us.”

  “Aunt Esther talks a lot of moonshine! I’m more than ever determined that we should attend the Season. I’ll speak to Gareth. If he agrees, we will visit Bath. It will give you an opportunity to meet people outside the family. We needn’t put off our mourning or take part in assemblies.”

  But Gareth flatly refused. Six months later, Lady Helena tried again. Gareth was going to London to attend to some business. It would be the easiest thing for them to accompany him and spend a few weeks in London.

  “We are out of mourning now, Gareth. There are still a few weeks of the Season left. You must think about Laura. How is she to wed if she doesn’t have the opportunity to meet young men?”

  “I have a few close friends who are eligible. I’ll give them permission to court Laura. Give me some time, Aunt Nell. I care too deeply about Laura’s happiness to trifle with it.”

  “I know you do, dear. You are the best of brothers. I fail to understand why you are set against her having a London Season?”

  Gareth gave a wry smile. “Our parents’ separation is still a topic of wild conjecture. I had to put up with a lot of chaff in Eton. Oxford was only better because no one said anything to my face. I don’t want Laura to listen to any of that.”

  “You can’t shield Laura for ever. Neither can you let the past dictate the future. I expect our presence in London will give rise to some gossip but it will soon die down.”

  “Aunt Nell, Laura is not ready for a Season. She has led a sheltered life. She may fall prey to a fortune hunter.”

  “You give her less credit than due, Gareth. Laura is rather shy but she’s nobody’s fool.”

  “Laura is only eighteen. It isn’t as if she’s on the shelf. If you insist, we shall attend the Small Season next year.”

  Lady Helena let the matter drop. “I have received a letter from my dear friend Harriet. She is the Duchess of Severn and is in London for the Season.”

  “When did you receive the letter, Aunt Nell? I didn’t see it in the post.”

  Turning a guilty pink, Lady Helena blustered her way out of the tight corner. “That is of no import! You are going to London tomorrow. It is a happy coincidence that Lady Severn has opened up her townhouse for the Season. You must call on her.”

  “Does she have a daughter, Aunt Nell?”

  “A granddaughter. From what I hear, you will suit,” Lady Helena answered eagerly, forgetting to dissemble.

  “Since when did you turn matchmaker, Dearest?”

  “Gareth, it is time you wed. I was hoping you would fix your interest on the baron’s daughter. Now Lydia is betrothed to her cousin’s friend.”

  “Must I wed because Lydia is getting married?”

  “You must marry for your sister’s sake. Your wife can launch her into Polite Society. If you chose wisely, your wife’s connections will help Laura make a good match. Apart from that, Laura needs a woman closer to her age. With Lydia leaving next month, Laura won’t have any friends.”

  “You know I’ll do anything for Laura.”

  “I hope you will fall in love with a good woman and make her your countess.”

  “Daventons are unlucky in love.”

  “Enough of that fustian! Your father spoke a lot of nonsense when he was in his cups!”

  “You sat up with him when he got maudlin. Are all Daventons devoted to their siblings, I wonder?”

  “They are!” Lady Helena said, turning the jest to her advantage. “That’s why you must wed soon for Laura’s sake. Lady Harriet and I have maintained a steady correspondence. In her last letter, she suggested a match between you and her granddaughter, provided you are both agreeable.”

  ***

  A few days later, Lady Helena had the most unbelievable news. Gareth was betrothed to the duchess’ granddaughter, Lady Maria. He had also gone to Wrenrose, to see his mother. Lady Catherine had been ailing for some time but was on the mend. And she was eager for all of them to attend the London Season together.

  “Can it be true?” Laura asked, looking dazed. She read the letter again.

  When I went to Wrenrose, our mother was very poorly. The news of our father’s death was a terrible blow to her. She took to her bed. Two months later her childhood nurse, Flanders, died. Mother slipped into deep melancholy which is why we did not hear from her. I was shocked at her condition. The physician has told me it a malaise of the heart. You may well be surprised to read that she has been pining away for us since ever so long. When her nurse was alive, she contrived to make her eat and keep her engaged.

  Laura, I cannot tell you how wrong we have been about our dear mother. She is innocent of any indiscretion. Father blamed her because of a misunderstanding. Another misunderstanding arose to keep them apart. I shall, or rather Mother shall tell you about it.

  Let it suffice for now that you are held as dear to Mother as you could have ever wished. She remembers every little thing about us. I am convinced that only her memories have kept her alive all these years.

  Our departure to London depends on Mother’s health. She is making good progress though I fear she is trying to do too much. She wanted to write to you but she tires easily. I had to promise on oath that I would send you her love. She fears that you hate her. I have told her you are incapable of the sentiment.

  Your devoted brot
her,

  Gareth.

  “Dear child, it appears your mother has suffered a lot. You must try to keep her in good spirits and do everything to help her regain her health,” Lady Helena said.

  Laura nodded and escaped to her room.

  Chapter 3

  “What wonderful news!” Lydia exclaimed, clasping Laura’s hands in her own and kissing her cheek.

  Her mother beamed. “Lord Daventon is a lucky man indeed! Lady Maria is quite the catch.”

  “Daventon wants us to join him. There is still a month left of the Season. Catherine is better now. She will be able to come, too,” Lady Helena said, her tone suggesting that Lady Catherine had never been estranged from the family.

  “You couldn’t have shared better news! Please pass on my inquiries to Lady Catherine Daventon. I still remember our first meeting. Lady Daventon and his lordship were newly returned from the Continent. Lady Daventon was dressed in a lace gown from Paris. It was in silver and mauve. She looked like an angel. I felt dowdy beside her. We all did.”

  “We met Lady Maria last season,” Lydia said. “She is both beautiful and charming. She is quite the leader of fashion. Her bonnets are most admired. Hostesses vie for her attendance.”

  Laura listened with a sinking heart. She knew nothing about fashion except what the village dressmaker, Miss Henry, told her. Lady Maria sounded intimidating. Why couldn’t Gareth have chosen Lydia? Everything would have been so comfortable.

  “Why the long face?” Lydia asked, taking her aside.

  “I don’t want to go to London. I won’t know how to get on.”

  “Of course you will! You have had an excellent education. You are proficient on the pianoforte. You carry yourself like a true lady.”

  “I know nothing about fashion.”

  “You will have Lady Maria to guide you. Your mother, too.”

  “What will I talk about to callers? Aunt Helena was saying we will have women calling on us. I have no experience of house calls except with our tenants and you.”

  “You talk to me all the time.”

  “That’s different. It’s only you.”

  “I could take offense to that.”

  “I’m sorry! I meant to say ...”

  “Don’t be such a ninny! I was only teasing! Listen, you are a beautiful, well-behaved young woman. I’ve attended two Seasons. I can tell you most debutantes are nervous about meeting people and talking to them. It’s better to be nervous than to put on a brash air and make a fool of oneself.”

  ***

  Laura was thankful for her maid, Bessie’s presence in the carriage. Her incessant chatter about the changing scenery kept her aunt engaged, leaving Laura free to pursue her thoughts. They were mainly about the mother she did not know.

  She had let her aunt and Bessie take care of the arrangements for the journey. Her mind was in turmoil. Everything was happening too fast. They were reconciled with Lady Catherine and she was to have a Season. Her brother was engaged to Lady Maria, a beautiful lady who was the toast of the haute ton.

  She wished Gareth had come home instead of writing. She needed to talk to him. She loved her aunt but Gareth was the only one she always turned to with her doubts and fears.

  After four days spent on the road and in inns, they arrived in London. “At last!” Lady Helena murmured as the carriage drew up in front of a stately mansion.

  Laura’s eyes darted to the entrance as soon as a footman handed her down. There was no sign of Gareth.

  “His lordship and his lady mother will be arriving the day after tomorrow,” the butler said, dropping a curtsy.

  The servants were lined up on the steps. Lady Helena said a kind word to them, and let the housekeeper lead them inside. Tired from their journey, they dined early and retired. Laura couldn’t sleep for a long time. She felt deflated; she had prepared for the moment when she would meet her mother. She had yearned for it and also dreaded it.

  The next day, Lady Helena showed Laura the well-appointed house. “This is the ballroom, my dear. I had my first ball here. How well I remember it! My engagement, too! Dear Edward announced it. He stood under the big chandelier over there.”

  Laura obediently followed her aunt from room to room listening to her anecdotes. Many involved her parents. “I didn’t know Father could be so merry,” she said wistfully, after one particularly hilarious account.

  Lady Helena squeezed her hand. “Edward was a different man before the unfortunate quarrel. Do you know he sold away this house because he couldn’t bear the thought of coming here again?”

  Laura shook her head.

  “A coal merchant bought it. A few years later the man met with some reverses and put it up for sale. Mr. Meyers suggested to your father to buy it back. Edward refused. Mr. Meyers also told Catherine. He used to visit Wrenrose every quarter at your father’s behest. Catherine told him to use her funds and buy the house back.”

  The butler came in. He looked embarrassed. “Lady Maria is here, my lady. I am sorry. I was away from my post. A footman showed Lady Maria into the drawing room. He is new to the ways of the gentry. He doesn’t know that he must inquire whether you are at home to callers.”

  Laura was thrown into confusion. Why had Gareth’s betrothed come? “Aunt Nell, you must tell Lady Maria we are not at home!”

  “That would be downright rude, my dear. Come, there’s nothing wrong with your gown. Bessie can redo your hair if you wish though I must say you look very fetching as you are.”

  With these and other words of encouragement, Lady Helena led Laura into the drawing room.

  Lady Maria stood up when they came in. “Lady Helena, I know you aren’t receiving callers yet but…”

  “You are family, dear, or soon to be! Pray come and sit with me!”

  Laura dropped an appropriate curtsy and took a seat. Lady Maria was beautiful. No wonder she had captivated Gareth. Laura listened as Lady Helena inquired about the Duchess of Severn. Her aunt knew how shy Laura was in company and kept the conversation running.

  Outwardly, with her hands in her lap and her skirts evenly spread out, Laura looked composed. But she wanted to run away and hide in her room. The lessons her governess had rigorously drilled into her were all forgotten. She didn’t know what to say to the poised lady who was easily the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

  “Word must have got round. We found a number of invitations awaiting us,” Lady Helena said.

  Lady Maria went through the engraved cards. “Lady Malloy’s ball is eagerly awaited. You must attend it.”

  “That is only two days away. I’m afraid we cannot attend. We came up to London at short notice and the country, as you know, lags sadly behind in fashion.”

  Lady Maria took charge of the problem. She sent word to her modiste for readymade gowns.

  “What about Mama? Do you think she will have something suitable for Lady Malloy’s ball?” Laura asked, and colored.

  “If Lady Catherine had not had the time or opportunity of repairing her wardrobe, you must not attend Lady Malloy’s ball,” Lady Maria said, in all earnestness. “Everyone will be agog to see her because of her circumstances. If she wears something breathtaking, they will focus on that. I have tested it. Nothing beats scandal like fashion unless it is a bigger scandal.”

  Lady Maria’s open manner and the fact that she wanted to help cut through Laura’s reserve. The next day, they went shopping for more gowns. Laura couldn’t remember when she had been happier. Though theirs was a short acquaintance, she knew Lady Maria would be the best of sisters.

  But when she went to bed, she thought only about meeting her mother. The beautiful mother who hadn’t loved her enough to come back.

  The first time Gareth had taken her to the attic to show her the portrait, she had fallen in love with it. Her mother was beautiful. She was like a fairy. Her smile was tender, and her eyes were filled with love.

  Over the years her relationship with the portrait kept changing. Sometimes she went
into the attic to blame the woman in the picture for her father's misery. Sometimes she went to gaze upon her mother's face. And sometimes she went into the attic only to turn her back on the picture. A childish gesture but satisfying. I don't care! Do you hear me, I don't care! Why should I when you don't?

  Once again, she was plagued with conflicting emotions. Sleep eluded her for a long time as old memories surfaced. She remembered closing her eyes and caressing her own cheek, pretending it was her mother’s touch. She would sometimes draw a caricature of a woman and label it: My Mother. Once she wrote a letter and ended it with I hate you! I wish you weren’t my mother!

  ***

  Bessie was excited and happy for her dear mistress. It was a special day. Lady Catherine was coming! She tiptoed about the room, shaking out the new gowns and looking through the box of new trinkets for something worthy of the occasion.

  At half past nine, she gently shook Laura awake. “We must hurry, my lady. Which gown will you wear?”

  “Anything.”

  “I’ve laid out three new gowns,” Bessie said, drawing Laura’s attention to the daybed.

  Laura barely glanced that way. “I’ll wear the blue gown with the white trim.”

  A puzzled frown appeared on Bessie’s face. “Do you mean the azure blue from Miss Henry’s shop?”

  “The same.”

  Bessie stared as if Laura had made an outrageous demand. “What’s the matter? Didn’t you pack it?” Laura asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Bessie said, trying to gauge Laura’s strange mood.

  “It’s not important. Bring any old gown.”

  Bessie did her best to hide her disappointment. A little later she was stunned when Laura said, “I have no mind for curls and fancy styles. Just braid my hair and pin it up.”

  Bessie opened her mouth to protest. The only lady who wore her hair into a tight braid was the vicar’s sister and she was at least fifty. One look at Laura’s grim face made her hold her tongue.