by T. L Smith
Perfection.
The word rings in my head as I watch her.
My cock becomes hard at just the sight of her. Her hand snakes around my cock. She turns then drops to her knees in front of me. Her tongue pokes out and licks the end of my cock. Her free hand cups my balls, massaging them as she takes me in. My hands go to her hair, and I try my hardest not to start fucking her mouth like I fuck her pussy—hard and fast—but it’s next to impossible. Her mouth was made for my cock, just like her pussy is. She takes as much as she can, and when I take hold of her hair, I pull her back and forth. She treats me as if I’m her favorite treat, her tongue dancing at my tip when I let her come up for air. She moans, and the vibration alone makes me almost come.
“I’m going to come in your sweet fucking mouth.”
She looks up at me, her big eyes plead for me to do so. It’s all it takes for me to come. She doesn’t stop sucking until she takes the last drop of me. When I pull out, I lift her up to stand. My hand touches her clit, and she shakes her head. Her head leans back, and she lets the water run into her mouth washing me off of her.
“I just want to please you.” My finger slides into her, and she gasps, her hands touching my shoulders. My thumb starts rubbing her clit as she lifts up on her tippy toes and her mouth connects with mine. She tastes like all my bad desires wrapped into one perfect little package.
The word rings around in my head again.
Perfection.
She isn’t mine though, even with her pussy clenching around my fingers and her clit rubbing up against my thumb, or even when I taste myself on her lips, she still isn’t mine. Her heart loved someone else first. They say you never forget your first love, and she sure as shit hasn’t. She cries for him, ignored me for him. She still loves him even if she’s denying that of herself by being here with me right now.
But like a dog, I will lap up whatever it is she’ll give me. Because she is...
Perfection.
No one so undeniably flawless should be put on this earth to tease me. And what’s worse is she loves someone who clearly only loves himself. He’s a selfish prick. This much I know about him.
She steps back as my hand leaves her. By looking at her happy sedated face, it’s clear she enjoys being with me as much as I enjoy having her.
She turns and starts washing herself. I wait for her to finish before I do the same and join her in my room. Flicking on the light, I find her on my bed and passed out. The sheet wrapped around her body as she lies there. Not once have I ever had anyone in here, in my bedroom. Not even Pam. It’s a sanctuary that’s totally mine because growing up I never had that—a place I could call my own. It feels weird, unnatural to have someone in my space.
She moans as I touch her side, pushing her over to lie next to her. Maybe I was wrong, maybe it won’t be so bad. She turns, doing the same thing as before, hooking her leg over my body, her head going to my shoulder as she falls asleep on me. And despite my inner voice telling me this is wrong, I fall asleep just the same.
I’M HOT, SO FUCKING hot. My chest’s heavy, and when I open my eyes, I see nothing but pink. The color pink has invaded my senses. Pushing her gently to the side and off my chest, she doesn’t make a sound. Standing up and getting dressed, I head down the stairs. Pam’s seated at the counter as Alfred makes her breakfast. She turns, offering me a small wave as I sit next to her. My body’s sore and stiff from having Kandi sleep on me all night.
How do people do that?
I feel like I’ve been weight training for ten days straight, and I’m afraid to move my fucking arm.
“Will your guest be joining us?” Alfred asks, raising an eyebrow.
Pam looks to me. “Kandi’s here?” she asks.
As she does, light footsteps come down my stairs. Turning to look at her, she only has on my shirt. Nothing else.
“Kandi, come... have pancakes with me. Alfred makes the best ones with chocolate chip smiley faces,” Pam says.
Kandi blushes and walks up to the counter, I pull the stool out letting her slide on it in between Pam and myself. Alfred pushes a plate to Pam as he smiles at her. Pam has a way of making people around her love her without even trying. Alfred loves her just as much as I do. He sees her the same way he saw me. Broken. Except, I’m trying to help put her back together. The best way I can, so she knows someone’s there for her, always.
“I should get going.”
“After breakfast.”
Alfred slides me a plate of pancakes.
“I didn’t think I’d see the day. A girl... in your bedroom.”
I lean back and hit the back of Pam’s head playfully. She laughs looking to Kandi, who looks to me.
“Oh, you really don’t ever let anyone in there?” Kandi asks surprised.
I shake my head in answer, and her hand comes to rest on my leg, giving it a squeeze then she goes back to eating.
“Not even I’m allowed in there,” Pam throws in.
“Is it time for you to go home yet?” I ask Pam while she rolls her eyes at me.
“You love me and never want me to leave.”
This is true. Even though I never tell her I love her, I don’t have to. She knows it. She’s the only girl I’d go to great lengths for. Except now, this other woman sitting next to me who makes my brain fucking foggy and mush, I know I would do the same for.
Pushing her plate away, she leans in close to me and whispers, “My clothes are ruined.” A smirk touches my lips. What she had on, she shouldn’t have been wearing anyway. They weren’t her clothes, they belonged to one of my girls at my business. And Kandi isn’t a stripper or a hooker, so I never want to see her in them again. That’s why they were so easy to remove from her body, there wasn’t much to them to begin with.
“We have spare clothes in my room, some mine and some Davina’s from when she looks after me.” Pam gets up, taking her dishes to the sink, and my hand touches Kandi’s bare thigh. Her eyes fall to me, and she closes her legs trying to stop me from going any higher. Except, I’m like a dog following a bone. And right now, nothing will stop me, not even her. Her breathing picks up, and she parts them a fraction, though still keeps them closed. My hand slides up and comes into contact with her bare pussy. She lets out a ragged breath as my finger slides in.
“I hope they fit,” Pam says breaking our contact.
My hand pauses, Kandi stops breathing for a split second, then reaches down pulling my hand away. She stands, so I can’t touch her again and walks with Pam to the spare room. Kandi looks back over her shoulder as I bring my fingers to my lips and suck on them. Her eyes go wide, and she almost runs into the door that Pam’s holding open for her. The laugh that leaves my lips is loud, and her smile is contagious.
Chapter 23
Kandi
My mother and I watch as he drives away. She’s smitten by him, and I’m pretty sure I may be falling for him. Yet, I’m trying my hardest to deny that fact. I don’t want it to be true.
My life’s now tenfold complicated.
Jarod’s back, something I never thought I’d be saying. Let’s face it, I watched him get shot, watched him fall to the floor, and watched him never get back up.
“I really like him.” I turn to my mother’s voice.
“He’s not someone you want your daughter to marry, trust me.”
She raises her eyebrow at me. “Jarod wasn’t someone I wanted you to marry either but look how that turned out. Maybe next time you’ll listen to me.” She’s right. She always used to say I was a fool for his words and that he was the master of them. “All I’m saying is that maybe because he’s broken, you’ll have a better fit with him.”
How does she know he’s broken? I don’t question her. We just turn and shut the door, going back inside.
“He’s a liar,” I say. It’s what everyone says.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I think the biggest liar is the one you married.”
Touché.
“He only wants me for
one thing,” I tell her, trying to convince myself.
“If that man only wants you for one thing, then I’m blind as a bat.”
I sit down on my couch, and she laughs as the words sink in. Turning and resting my head on the back of the couch, I look to her.
“I still love him.”
Her eyes turn soft. She isn’t telling me what she thinks now, her mother mode is on.
She brushes my hair off my face. “He was your first love, you’ll most likely always love him.”
That hurts, more than I realize. She throws a blanket over me and turns the television on. Stacey and Henry plan to go back home today, leaving Mom and me here, until Mom leaves as well.
I need to start sorting out my life. Just when I thought this place would be a fresh start, something new for me in all ways, it ends differently.
Jarod’s back, and I’m involved with someone else.
“I’M GOING TO MISS YOU.” Stacey’s arms wrap tightly around my neck. When she moves, Henry hugs me as well. “But we’ll be back once we have everything sorted at home.” They’re moving, they have even found a house to buy. I nod and cuddle her one last time before she leaves.
As they pull away in their car, I turn and grab my bag and head to my car. Despite everything that’s been going on, I want to work, I enjoy my work, and Huxley pays really well.
Leaning out the window, I wave to my mom and head off for the short ride to work. As usual, I’m the only car in the car park when I pull up. It’s a night establishment after all, so it’s not surprising. Pulling out my keys, I’m not paying any attention when I arrive at the front door. It isn’t until he coughs I realize Jarod’s there. He’s standing next to me, leaning on the building watching me with his hands tucked into his pockets.
“Can we talk?”
Three simple words that have such a big meaning. I’ve avoided him long enough. Too long actually, so I decide I better get this over with.
“The cafe is open for breakfast. I think it will be safer if we go to a public place.”
He nods his head like he agrees with me. He doesn’t, I know his tells. He wants me alone so he can use his sweet words on me, and convince me that everything will be okay. But it can’t be. It’s next to impossible. Surely?
Jarod doesn’t get the door for me, which strikes me as odd. Huxley pulls the door for me every time. I pull it open and he follows me in, sitting opposite of me when I take a seat. His hands lie on the table while mine stay hidden, playing with my skirt’s hem.
“You look beautiful today.”
It’s my normal attire, there’s nothing different to how I normally look.
“Thanks.”
A waitress comes over so we can order. He orders bacon and eggs. I do the same.
He smiles when I do. “I was worried you’d changed.” I cough, covering my anger. “You’re angry, I guess I deserve that.”
“You do, and so much more as well.”
“I had to do it, Kandi, I had to.” I shake my head. “He isn’t a good man. It was Huxley I was protecting you from.”
I roll my eyes at his words. “You don’t need to protect me from Huxley, I can handle myself around him, thank you very much.”
“Do you even know him? Because those words wouldn’t have left your mouth if you did.” He scoffs at me like the words coming from my mouth are so unbelievable to him.
“I know him.” Sort of, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“So you know he’s killed before. That he owns everything in this town. Even that cottage you got for a very good price.” I didn’t know that. The owner’s details were never brought up, but I did think it was off with how fast the sale went through and that I was allowed to have it so quickly. “Your cottage was his first whore house.” My mouth drops open. “No one would have bought it anyway.”
My head shakes. “You’re just trying to make me hate him.”
He doesn't deny it. “I used to race for him, then I borrowed money. You remember, we went on that vacation, swimming with the dolphins. I paid off my mother’s house...” He waits for me to nod my head. “Well, it was an advance. An advance I couldn’t possibly pay back in the timeframe given. He warned me if I didn’t pay it back, he’d come after what was mine for payback. He’s taken the women of his men before, to work for him.”
“I work for him.”
He looks down then back to me. “Turns out, he did come for what was mine. I’ve been working off my debt this whole time. I’m almost paid in full. I was going to come for you once the debt was repaid, to win you back.” My legs push the chair backward as I stand. His hand falls on mine, squeezing it, stopping me from leaving and pausing me. My eyes fall to his hand holding mine, it’s a familiar feeling. He is familiar.
“Please don’t leave, you are it for me. Have been since before we even knew what love was.”
He’s right, I discovered what love was with him. Sitting back down, he smiles. He thinks he’s won me over. He hasn’t. I’m only here to give him the respect he never gave me.
“You need to stop talking about Huxley. It’s you that fucked me over, Jarod, not him.”
He nods his head slowly, then stops. “You love him.” My heart stops, and my head shakes slowly. “I know what love looks like on you, you loved me with your all once.”
“You’re still talking about him,” I say as my breakfast is placed in front of me. We wait for the waitress to leave before we speak again.
“It’s fine, Kandi. Because even if you do, it’s me you loved first. Not him.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong and that I don’t love Huxley. He doesn’t know. Except as I pick up my fork, words don’t seem to leave my mouth. We eat as he starts telling me about his mother. How she’s doing. I haven’t spoken to her for over six months. We were never close, and then after his death, it was even worse.
“You’re following her,” he interrupts. I’m confused as I look up from my food. Except, he isn’t looking at me, he’s looking behind me. Turning, Huxley’s standing there. Pushing my seat back, I stand facing him. He looks straight at me, his eyes hard.
“You’re late.” I nod at his words which are laced with anger.
“I was just leaving.” Turning, I reach for my bag, but Jarod’s hand covers mine again. My eyes find his. They’re pleading with me.
“Don’t go... not with him.”
I pull my hand back. “I have a job, Jarod. Huxley’s my boss.”
Jarod’s eyes move from me to Huxley. “So you still got her even after you said you wouldn’t.”
My eyes fall to Huxley. He’s watching me.
“She came to me, that’s the difference.” His stare doesn’t leave me as I push past him to go straight to work.
After a quick walk back to the office, as soon as I’m seated at my desk, I hear him come in. The door slamming behind him.
“You knew who I was?” I ask.
Huxley pulls a seat out in front of my desk, and he takes it. His hands in his lap as he watches me intently. “You looked familiar,” is the only answer he gives me.
“You didn’t sell me my cottage to keep me here, and to spite Jarod, I’m now living in your ex-whore house?”
His hand rubs his jaw. “You want to know it all?”
I lean forward because I do, I want it all. The truth would be a nice place to start. “I’m told you’re the perfect liar. So tell me, Huxley... will what you say be truthful?”
“Lying is what one does to survive. I have survived. Do I need to survive this? No, so yes, I will be truthful.”
“Whore house?” I ask him.
He nods his head. “Yes, it was the first house from where I sold women’s pleasure. I was broke when I started out, and it was all I could afford.”
“Do you think of me that way?”
“No. You turned that house into something even I’m proud of.”
“You didn’t fuck me to spite him, did you?”
He smirks at that one. “I
was telling the truth, Kandi. You looked familiar. It didn’t click who you were until that night at the races. So no, I fucked you because I was attracted to you. Nothing more.”
“Nothing more?” I ask him.
I lean in a little closer. Wanting something, anything from him.
“Nothing more,” he confirms.
“This will have to end between us. I’m married.”
He stands. Pushing his chair out. “It was fun while it lasted, Kandi.” Then he walks out like I meant nothing to him. That what we had was nothing. No fight in him at all for me.
Have I done something in this life to fall for men who only fuck me over? That love themselves more than they can love anyone else?
My phone beeps from a number I don’t recognize.
Let me try to win you back. I’m sorry - Jarod.
I leave that message open on my desk for the rest of the day. My number has never changed since I was eighteen, he obviously guessed and tried my old number. It takes me all day and night to reply to his text message. No others come through, not even one from Huxley.
I end up telling Jarod, yes.
I loved Jarod so fiercely, a second time shouldn’t hurt as bad. I hope.
Chapter 24
Huxley
It’s ended. I must admit I didn’t see it coming, but I will not fight her on it. Instead, I’ll take it out on him. My hands clench when I walk outside. Can I handle seeing her every day knowing she could be fucking him, that piece of shit that he is? He wants to tell her shit he has no right to. He wants to involve himself in things that don’t include him. Jarod left her, he didn’t even care at the time. Maybe I’m guilty as well. Maybe I should have told her the truth the moment I worked out who she was. But what’s the point?
I don’t love, so why should I care?
I don’t love her, so what’s the issue here?
Maybe I’m telling myself lies. Because with Kandi, she makes me feel things I’ve never felt for a woman before. She does things to me only she can seem to pull out from me.
My bedroom. That’s a place which is solely mine. No one ever goes in there. Not even my maids. It’s a place I don’t have to share, which is a big thing considering I had nothing my whole life, and when I did have something it was something I had to share. My businesses need people to thrive. So yes, they’re mine, but they aren’t a place where I can lock people out and be alone. I love my own company and thrive when I’m in my bedroom with just me and my thoughts.
