by T. L Smith
I didn’t even fight her on it. I picked her up and carried her into my bedroom—my sanctuary—and not once did it feel wrong.
Alfred lays a hand on my shoulder. It makes me jump, and he throws his hands up in surrender. “I see it, you know. The way you look at her.” I shake my head at his words, he doesn’t know. How could he when I don’t even know.
“She’s my employee, and she’s beautiful. Of course, I look at her.”
He looks at me like he thinks I’m lying. His eyebrow rises, and he smirks at me. “It must feel weird, not knowing what to do, how to feel.”
“Alfred...” I warn him.
“You’ve never had someone who made you smile the way she does. You never went out of your way for any of the women before her. Have you thought of why that may be?”
“No,” I say, shutting the conversation down. “Where is he?” I ask. Alfred knows where everyone is located in this town. He was born and raised here. People talk and trust him, so quick and easy he can find out just about anything with one phone call.
“He’s at the Beverly Inn.” He sits down, his arms crossing at his chest. “Don’t kill him, Huxley, he isn’t worth it.”
My head nods even though I don’t listen to a word he has to say on the matter.
JAROD’S STANDING OUT front, a smoke to his lips when I pull up. He blows out the smoke, drops the cigarette to the ground and looks up smiling. “I figured you’d come. She’s something special, isn’t she?” he teases. It takes me four steps and one swing to knock that smile from his smug face. The door to his room is open, and I drag him by the collar inside. As I shut the door, he gets up on his feet, spitting the blood from his mouth. “You fell for her, didn’t you?”
“You need to leave, and never come back.”
“No. I won’t be leaving until I take Kandi with me.”
“That won’t happen.”
He spits again then smiles. “You’ve known her, for what? A few months? If that. And suddenly, you know her better than I do? I was with her for over five years, Huxley. You don’t know her the way I do. Not even close.”
“Was it your bed she was in last night?” His eyes go wide, he didn’t see that coming. My lip quirks up at him. “Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think. Maybe your lying finally fucked you over, Jarod.”
He hisses at me. “She’ll come back to me. Just because she fucked you doesn’t mean shit all. It’s me she loves. Do you even know what that word means, Huxley? Have you ever experienced such a thing?” He pauses, waiting for me to speak, but he won’t get my words unless I choose to give them. “I thought as much.” He takes my silence as his answer. “She loves fiercely, so much so it consumes you. Could you even deal with that? Do you even want to deal with that?” He laughs, and my fists clench again. He watches them then looks up to me. “You do love her, don’t you?” My chin lifts at his words. “You just don’t know it yet, or won’t admit it.”
“My patience is wearing thin. You have two days to leave, Jarod.”
“That’s not going to happen. You see, you just basically showed me you love her... without a word leaving your mouth. Do you remember the taste of her? The way she feels when you slide in and out of her. It’s pure fucking bliss, isn’t it? I had to give it up for a year. I plan to make up for lost time. Maybe even rub it in your face when I have her again.”
“Are you threatening me, Jarod? Do you think that’s a wise move?”
“I would have said no before I knew you loved her. I wouldn’t have uttered those words. But love makes us crazy. I can see the crazy in your eyes at the mere mention of her name. She’s going to drive you mad, and I’m going to help that along the way with slight touches, stolen kisses, when I know you’re looking. Because let’s face it, she loves this place. And where she is, I’ll stay.”
My breathing’s heavy, and before I know it, my fists are connecting with his face again. He tries to protect himself, but it does fuck all. He’s lucky I don’t have my brass knuckle on my fucking hands right now because the damage would be far greater.
He laughs as I hit him hard in the ribs and that’s when I hear it, the door opening behind me. I straighten, looking down at him.
A gasp is heard from behind me—it’s her voice.
I’d know it anywhere.
Pink hair runs up next to me, bending down in front of me. The smile that was etched on this prick’s face is now one of pain.
He knew she was coming.
That’s why he egged me on. Even if he didn’t, I’m pretty sure I still would have kicked his ass for being here.
“Huxley...” My name leaves her breathlessly as her hands touch Jarod on the floor. She looks up at me. “Why did you do this?” She looks at me like a stranger. A mask I like to wear pulls over my face, and my back straightens.
“He’s to leave this town. Or I’ll do worse.”
“No. You can’t ask that.”
My lip curls. “I can, and I will. He leaves tonight.” Giving him two days was gracious, now he’s pissed me off, so he can leave tonight. I take a step back and she stands from his side. Her bag that was hung on her shoulder drops to the ground as she looks at me.
“Are you asking me to leave as well?”
Shit! I didn’t think of that, but no words leave my mouth.
“You are, if he leaves I’m going with him.”
I look past her to him on the ground. He’s smiling, he knows he’s won. Anger takes hold of me again, but when I look up, her face is a mixture of pain.
“Make sure he’s gone by morning, I’ll be checking.” I turn to leave. Her footsteps follow me out and she touches my arm, so I turn back to look at her. Jarod isn’t in sight now, so it’s only the two of us.
“You really want me to go?” She asks the question like I’ve directed it at her. If she chooses him, she has to go. I’m not asking her to choose me. Never would I ask that of her. Let’s face it, not even I know what I want. But there’s no way in hell I could stand to watch her with another man. It would drive me to the ends of the earth and probably to kill.
“If you’re with him, then yes.”
She doesn’t blink, she just stares at me. “Then tell me to stay, Huxley. Tell me you want me to stay.” Her hands clench my shirt, and I look down at her. Her crystal green eyes look up, begging me for something I can’t possibly give. My hands circle hers. She pulls them free and I watch them drop to her side.
“I won’t say that to you. You should know that.”
Her whole body slumps. “You won’t fight for me. Yet, you want me?”
I nod my head. It’s true, she knows I want her. My attraction for her has never changed.
“I can’t do that. I can’t hang around for that. Jarod wants to fight for me, and maybe that’s what I need. Someone to fight for me.”
“If that’s what you want.”
I’ve never had anyone fight for me. I’ve done everything myself. The only person I’ve ever fought for is Pam. She’s needed it though, no one else is in her corner.
“You hurt me more than I realized anyone could. Goodbye, Huxley.” She turns, walking back to Jarod and shutting the door behind her as she goes.
Maybe today’s going to be the day I last lay my eyes on Kandi Leo.
What a fucking day this has turned out to be.
Chapter 25
Kandi
He didn’t even say, I want you to stay. Nothing. He let me walk away like what we had was nothing. Maybe it was. Maybe what I thought we had was all in my head, and somehow I was lost in my dreamland.
My hand touches Jarod, and he flinches. He’s in pain from what Huxley did to him.
“You see now, right? What a monster he is?”
In my head, I’m screaming he’s wrong. Huxley isn’t a monster, it’s more that he’s misunderstood. Reaching for the fridge, I pull out some ice and place it on Jarod’s face to help the bruising.
“Kandi...” He touches my face. My head turns to him, he’s w
atching me. “You still love me, right?” Taking a deep breath, my head nods. “You need to leave with me. We can stay wherever you like... anywhere but here. I can’t stay here any longer.”
He can’t, but that doesn’t mean I have to leave. Still, he’s my husband, I’m his wife, and I should go wherever he does.
“Okay.” My voice is small because I don’t want to leave my cottage and I’ve come to love this town.
Jarod’s hand touches mine, trying to comfort me. Once upon a time, I craved those hands, the comfort that would accompany them. Now, I’m not really sure I do anymore.
“You sure? You’ll leave with me?”
My head nods and my smile is forced. “Why did he beat you?”
He manages to sit up, and he pulls himself up to the bed and shrugs his shoulders. “He’s crazy. Came in here and just started punching me.” His words definitely don’t feel like the truth.
“I have to go home first.”
Jarod reaches for his bag, the one he’s already packed, and swears as he picks it up. Taking it from him, I carry it to my car, placing it on the back seat as he gets in. Driving to my cottage, his hand touches my leg, my thigh, in the same place Huxley touched me. Jarod’s touches are different. Huxley’s are raw, sexual. Jarod’s touches once felt sensual and loving, but now I’m confused. His touch makes me want to push his hand away from me. I don’t, but the minute we stop at my cottage, I get out. My mother’s at the door straight away, smiling at me, until she sees who gets out of the car and follows me.
She leans in, touching my shoulder, whispering so her voice doesn’t carry to Jarod, “Are you sure, sweetheart? That this is what you want?”
My head turns back to look at Jarod. He hasn’t changed much. He’s still very much the man I once loved. Maybe my goggles have been removed from the perfect exterior I once held him up to. Now I see a man desperate to keep his wife, one that wants me possibly a lot more than I want him right now.
“I don’t know, but Huxley did that,” I say, referring to his bruising.
She looks to Jarod who’s now closing the door. “Have you thought maybe he deserved it?” She turns, walking in. Deserve it? My mother just said that, the woman who doesn’t swear and doesn’t believe in bodily harm in any form or fashion.
Following her inside, I let her know. “I’m leaving. Huxley made it very clear Jarod had to be gone by tonight.”
“And you’re back to your old ways? Following him wherever he goes?”
I didn’t think about it like that.
“I guess I am.”
“Hi, Mrs. Leo.” My mother’s stern gaze swings to Jarod as he hobbles inside. His face is still bloody from Huxley’s fists.
“I see you finally got your dues.”
I gasp at my mother’s words, and she doesn’t show any sign of remorse for her words either.
“I wouldn’t call it that, Mrs. Leo. Huxley isn’t a stable man. Do you really want someone like that around your daughter?”
My mother looks to me then back to him. “Actually, I do. Huxley, despite his aggressiveness, comes to her the minute she needs him. Can we say the same for you?”
Dammit, she’s right. Every time I needed Huxley, and sometimes even when I didn’t know it, he was there to take away my pain. He took it as his own.
Jarod’s hand wraps around my waist as he slightly pulls me to him. He lifts a ring from his pocket, the same one I used to wear before he finally managed to buy me a better one, and slides it on my empty wedding ring finger. “I’ll never leave her side again.”
“Let’s hope not,” my mother says then walks away, leaving us to stand next to each other. I look down to the ring he once gave me when I was nineteen years old. One that promised our lives would be happy and together. It was until it wasn’t anymore.
“What I said was true, Kandi. I want to never have a day in this life without you in it again. I missed you so fucking much.”
“Did you really?” I ask, remembering all those nights I cried myself to sleep. The days I couldn’t even leave my bed because the pain from losing him hurt me so much. And the whole time he was alive and well, racing damn cars.
“I’ll spend forever trying to make it up to you.” He leans down, his lips coming dangerously close to mine. I pull back, not letting him kiss me.
He looks up at me,
shocked that I could pull away. “It’s him, isn’t it?”
“Him what?”
“You don’t want me to touch you, but you touch him?”
“It’s not like that.”
He throws his hands up, wincing when he does. “Tell me what it is then, Kandi? Help me to understand.”
“I won’t just fall back to what we were, Jarod, it was broken. It has to have time to rebuild. You can’t expect to kiss me just because I said I would come with you. We’re going to try, that’s the extent of what I’m willing to give you right now because for better or for worse, that’s what I signed up for when I married you in the first place.”
He nods his head. “It’s going to be hard to keep my hands to myself.” He’s playing, but I simply nod my head and walk to my room to pack a bag.
My mother walks in and shuts the door. “I’m going to stay until you realize he isn’t right for you.”
“Huxley’s dangerous, did you know that? You still want me to choose him knowing that?”
She shrugs. “I want what’s best for you. Someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Not just your love being enough for two people, that’s what you were before. You filled up the love tank, and Jarod took from it. So yes, I want that dangerous man for you. Because, I think if only he could see, he’d know that he’s madly in love with you, too. But I’m happy to wait for you to realize it. Because I know you will.” She turns, opening the door and walking out while I finish packing.
When I walk out, Jarod’s out front on his phone.
My mother’s in the house watching him through the front window. “I really don’t trust him, and I’m not sure you should either.”
“I don’t trust him, but I’m willing to try.”
She kisses my cheek and doesn’t walk me out. I hand her over the keys to the cottage, telling her I’ll call her when we find somewhere. Looking at my cottage, I see me, not the hooker place it once was. It’s all me. I painted it and did so much to this place by myself. I love it and I’m upset to be leaving it behind.
His arm touches mine, breaking me from my thoughts. Turning to him, he looks at me like he loves me. I’d forgotten how much I’ve missed that look.
“You won’t regret it, baby, we’ll be back to how we used to be in no time.”
I don’t wrap my arms around him, or even try to confirm his words. I don’t know what is to come. Or even if we will be happy.
I’ve loved Jarod most of my life. Can that kind of love disappear? I don’t think it can just because my feelings and thoughts of Huxley rule over every fiber of my being.
“Why aren’t you smiling, baby? I thought this would make you happy?” The smile that tugs on my lips isn’t true, it’s forced now that he’s asked for it. He knows this and shakes his head. “You’ll love me again, just give it time.”
“What if I don’t love you the same way?” I ask him out of fear.
His hands touch my cheeks, and he looks me in the eyes. “You will. A love like ours doesn’t just die. But it will take time. You need a chance to love me again, baby. I hurt you, and I plan to make it all better.” His fingers stroke my cheek.
“We aren’t together, Jarod. I’m going to try. Maybe date, things like that. But don’t think I’ll be kissing or sleeping with you anytime soon.”
He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something. Nothing leaves his mouth, though his hands drops from my face and he nods his head. “You love him.”
“Don’t ask me that when I’ve just chosen you.”
“You didn’t deny it, but that’s okay. Because you’re right, you chose me. I could
n’t really expect you to stay single.”
“I was. I did. Huxley was my first since you...”
He looks up at me in surprise. “Let’s go, baby.” He leans in to kiss me, his face bruising from Huxley’s fists, and I turn my head so he has to kiss my cheek.
Waving goodbye, we drive out, leaving Candy. A place I called my own.
Is it the biggest mistake of my life?
Chapter 26
Huxley
“If you don’t stop stewing you’re going to hurt yourself.” Grunting at Alfred, my fists hit the punching bag again and again. Too much sweat is dripping down into my eyes blocking my sight. “Your phone’s been ringing all day, sir. You need to answer it.” Pulling the gloves off my hands, I wipe my face. “You’ve been ignoring everyone for weeks. Don’t you think it’s time we went back to reality?”
It’s been two weeks since she left. I haven’t heard from her since, and I never once expected to after I let her go. It’s my fault for not fighting for her. But I won’t keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.
“Answer it then, Alfred.” This time it’s his turn to grunt as he walks away. I hear him answer it then the silence that follows.
Davina walks in, flicking her hair over her shoulder and sits on the seat in front of me, popping the gum in her mouth. “I don’t want to be your office girl anymore. When is Kandi coming back?”
I’ve never disclosed to her what happened. Never told anyone apart from Alfred.
“You’ll do it and not complain about it because I pay you to,” I say, wiping myself down with the towel.
She rolls her eyes at me. “I told you it was a bad idea to play with her, she’s different to the others.”
