Murder at the Mistletoe Ball

by J. D. Griffo

  “Of course I’m happy,” Alberta said. “I’m also in shock.”

  Without taking off her coat, Alberta sat down in the chair closest to the door and placed her pocketbook carefully on the kitchen table. She held on to it, not out of necessity but security; she needed an anchor to something trustworthy to help guide her and keep her grounded as she entered unknown territory. She had imagined coming face-to-face with her daughter for many years, but she had never entertained this particular scenario. With no idea what to do or say, Alberta resorted to a familiar weapon in her tool kit: she accused.

  “How did you break in?” Alberta asked.

  “You left the door unlocked,” Tommy replied.

  “Which is kind of a dumb thing to do in your new profession, Ma,” Lisa Marie added.

  “My what?” Alberta said. “I don’t work.”

  “I subscribe to TUSH, Ma,” Lisa Marie said.

  It took Alberta a second to realize her daughter was referring to The Upper Sussex Herald, the newspaper Jinx wrote for, by its less-flattering abbreviation.

  “They prefer to call it The Herald,” Alberta corrected.

  “Whatever,” Lisa Marie replied. “I know that you’re this detective now, and a pretty good one at that, which is why we’re here.”

  “You need my help,” Alberta said.

  For the first time since Alberta’s arrival, Lisa Marie and Tommy looked at each other. Their smiles faded and were replaced with the fear it seemed they had been trying to hide. It was the same fear Alberta had been feeling only seconds before she returned home.

  “Yes, we do,” Lisa Marie said.

  Admitting the truth made some of Lisa Marie’s bravado fade. It softened the hard exterior, so Alberta could get a glimpse of the woman her daughter had become. She was older, of course, and while physically she was the same, there were some significant changes.

  Her long, unruly black hair had been cut to just above her shoulders, like Alberta’s, and had either been professionally straightened or she spent every morning blowing it out. Alberta couldn’t find a strand of gray, which meant her daughter had inherited her vanity and had her hair dyed regularly. She didn’t know if Lisa Marie always parted her hair in the middle, but she liked it that way.

  One noticeable change was her glasses. Before she left, she had needed to wear glasses, but only when she drove. It seemed that her vision had deteriorated over the years. The rectangular, tortoiseshell frames complemented her round face and brown eyes nicely, though they were unable to hide the small birthmark next to her right eyebrow.

  There were a few more lines on her forehead and some crow’s feet around her eyes, but her face looked completely natural, and it didn’t look as if she was one of those women who used Botox and fillers to ward off the inevitable effects of aging. She had gained a few pounds, but because Alberta always thought she was too skinny, some extra weight was a good thing. At five foot four, Lisa Marie and Alberta were the same height, so she knew her daughter could carry more than the 105 pounds she was the last time she saw her.

  When it came to aging, men got lucky, and her husband, Tommy, looked almost the same as he did when Alberta first met him. His sandy brown hair was still curly, but longer. On most men in their late forties, it would look silly, but Tommy still had his boyish looks, and the little-long-in-the-tooth, beach bum look worked on him. Alberta had not wanted her daughter to marry him, but she understood the appeal, at least physically. Just shy of six feet, Tommy had always had a lean, sinewy body and weighed less than 165 pounds when he got married. If he had gained five pounds since he exchanged his wedding vows, that was a lot.

  Tommy and Lisa Marie looked exactly like what they were: high school sweethearts who had grown older together. Alberta had no idea how solid their marriage was, but she had to admit it had lasted longer than she originally expected. She also had to admit that it was wonderful to see them in the flesh again and not just in a dream. It didn’t matter why they had returned, the important thing was that they did. True to her nature, however, Alberta was curious to know what kind of help her daughter thought only a mother could provide.

  “You’ve kept me in suspense long enough,” Alberta said. “Tell me, why do you need my help?”

  “Because it seems that every other month there’s an article about you solving some murder mystery,” Lisa Marie replied. “And it isn’t like you’re getting special treatment because your granddaughter’s the star reporter; you’ve earned every word of praise you’ve received.”

  “Mrs. Passanante calls you the Italian Miss Marple,” Tommy said. “And she should know about old ladies who stick their noses in where they don’t belong.”

  “Tommy!” Lisa Marie scolded. “That was actually a compliment, Ma.”

  Alberta knew she was an old lady, so her ego wasn’t bruised. But she still didn’t know why Lisa Marie specifically needed her. “Okay, I’ve solved a few crimes—with a lot of help, I might add—but I’m not a real detective, and if you’re in trouble you should ask Vinny for help.”

  “No offense to Vinny and his department, but from everything I’ve read, those murders would still be cold cases if it wasn’t for you,” Lisa Marie said.

  “Plus, this is a family matter,” Tommy added. “We wanted to keep this in the family.”

  “Vinny’s family,” Alberta assured. “And we’ve discovered that things go much more smoothly if we work with the police instead of against them. Saves us all from a lot of agita.”

  “As long as you take the lead,” Lisa Marie said.

  Alberta remained seated and took off her coat, letting it hang over the back of her chair. She wasn’t warm, but she needed a moment to think without making it appear as if she was thinking. It was obvious that she was not going to convince them to follow the proper protocol and let Vinny and his team of detectives do what they were paid to do. She almost laughed because what did she expect? That her rebel daughter, who had never met a rule she didn’t like to break, would suddenly turn into a mild-mannered middle-aged woman who toed the line of social acceptability? The Lisa Marie sitting in front of her may have changed slightly, but she was still the Lisa Marie Alberta knew all too well. And if her daughter wanted her to spearhead an investigation, Alberta felt she owed her that.

  “I may not have been there for you these past years, but you know I’ll do whatever I can to help you, especially if this has something to do with our family,” Alberta said. “What’s the problem?”

  Lisa Marie looked at Tommy and exhaled a deep breath she had been holding before speaking. “Sergio is missing.”

  “My grandson?!”

  “We have another Sergio in the family?” Lisa Marie asked rhetorically. “Of course it’s your grandson.”

  “Dio mio,” Alberta said, tugging on her gold crucifix. “How long has he been missing?”

  “About a month,” Tommy replied.

  “He’s been missing for a month and you’re just looking for him now?” Alberta asked.

  “I’ve been gone for fourteen years, Ma, when did you start looking for me?”

  Alberta inhaled deeply and let the air slowly leave her body. Now that she knew why Lisa Marie needed her help, she understood that she was under a great deal of stress. Still, she couldn’t completely ignore her daughter’s comment.

  “That isn’t fair,” she replied. “I’ve known exactly where you were all this time.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” Lisa Marie said. “Well, I kind of did, but I don’t want to get into all of that right now. We can sort out our issues later.”

  “Right now, we need your help in finding our son,” Tommy said.

  “You know I don’t do this sleuthing on my own,” Alberta said.

  “Jinx has filled me in on all the details, and how this is some kind of crazy family hobby,” Lisa Marie said. “How you solve these crimes without killing each other is beyond me. The important thing is that you get results.”

  “Yes, we do,”
Alberta said.

  Although she was beaming with pride that her daughter finally needed her and had put aside their fractured history to be in the same room with her, the irony of the situation did not go unnoticed. But it did remain unspoken. After all these years the only reason Alberta’s daughter had reached out to her was because her own child hadn’t reached out to her. Instead of feeling in some way satisfied or even justified, Alberta was overcome with sadness. She knew what it was like to be on the other side of silence, and despite her volatile relationship with Lisa Marie, she didn’t wish the feeling on her own daughter. It was time to break the cycle.

  “I guess it’s time I call in the troops,” Alberta said. “Because the Ferrara Family Detective Agency has found its next case.”

  Tommy refreshed their coffee cups and cut up some mozzarella and tomatoes he found in the refrigerator. He sprinkled on some balsamic oil and placed them on plates as a snack while Alberta made a series of phone calls.

  “Lovey, I need you to come here pronto,” Alberta said.

  She had put the phone on speaker, so when Jinx replied her voice filled the kitchen. “Freddy and I just spied a Subaru over near the trails where people go horseback riding,” Jinx said. “I think it might be my parents.”

  “No, honey, it isn’t them,” Alberta said.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do,” Alberta said. “Because I found your parents.”

  “You found them!” Jinx screamed. “Where are they?”

  “In my kitchen.”

  “Why does everyone eventually find their way to your kitchen?”

  “People know that’s the best place to be.”

  “We’re on our way,” Jinx said. “And tell my parents that when I get there, I’m going to kill them myself!”

  “We heard that!”

  Alberta ended the call before Jinx could respond to her mother’s outburst. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hear any family squabbling; she just had lots of other calls to make.

  “I found them, Vin,” Alberta declared. “Well, two out of the three.”

  “Speak in full sentences, please,” Vinny requested.

  “Lisa Marie and Tommy are here at my house, so you can call off the APB,” Alberta said. “But Sergio is still missing.”

  “What do you mean, still missing?”

  “He hasn’t been in contact with his parents for over a month.”

  There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. When Vinny finally spoke, he sounded very concerned. “I’m on my way over.”

  Next, Alberta called Helen, who was being driven home by Joyce. Once again she put the call on speaker and Helen did the same. “Lisa Marie and Tommy are safe and sound and having tomatoes and mozz in my kitchen.”

  “Thank God!” Joyce shouted. “That’s wonderful news.”

  “You have a lot of explaining to do, Lisa Marie!” Helen shouted even louder. “You made us sick with worry.”

  “Sorry, Aunt Helen,” Lisa Marie replied. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “How?” Helen asked.

  “I’ll write a nasty letter to that priest you can’t stand,” Lisa Marie said. “Father Sal.”

  “Oh, honey,” Joyce said. “You’ve been away for a long time.”

  When Alberta started to dial another phone number, Lisa Marie threw the piece of mozzarella she was about to eat back on her plate.

  “For God’s sake, Ma, are you calling all of Tranquility to let them know I’ve returned?”

  “No, just family, friends, and my boyfriend.”

  “Your boyfriend?”

  “Yes, didn’t Jinx tell you? I have a boyfriend.”

  “No, Jinx did not tell me that. You’re too old to have a boyfriend.”

  “That’s not what Sloan thinks.”

  “Sloan? What kind of a name is Sloan for a man?”

  “It’s a very nice name and you better be nice when you meet him.”

  “She’ll be nice,” Tommy said, interrupting their conversation.

  “Don’t answer for me,” Lisa Marie said.

  “Leese, I told you that if you two start yelling at each other like you used to, I’m outta here,” Tommy said. “We came here to get your mother’s help to find Sergio, not start another family war.”

  By the tight scowl that gripped Lisa Marie’s face, Alberta could tell that her daughter didn’t like the ultimatum her husband had just handed her. But in a surprise move, Lisa Marie suppressed her argumentative nature and agreed. “You’re right,” she replied. “I’ll be nice to meet your boyfriend with the dumb name.”

  It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

  * * *

  Within fifteen minutes the invited guests started to arrive and, one by one, Lisa Marie and Tommy had reunions with people they hadn’t seen in quite some time.

  Not all of those reunions started with hugs and kisses.

  “Why didn’t you answer any of my calls?!”

  “I’m sorry, honey. We’ve been so focused on finding your brother that we let everything else slide by,” Lisa Marie explained. “I knew that if we spoke, I’d give it away and only worry you.”

  “I am worried!” Jinx yelled. “What do you mean, you’re trying to find Sergio? Where’s my brother?”

  “We don’t know,” Tommy said.

  “What do you mean, you don’t know?” Jinx asked. “How can you lose track of your own son?”

  “We’ll explain everything when the others get here,” Tommy said. “In the meantime, why don’t you introduce us to the guy standing behind you?”

  “Is this the Freddy you can’t shut up about?” Lisa Marie asked.

  “One and the same,” Freddy replied. He reached out to shake their hands and, being the good Italian boy he was, he shook Tommy’s hand first. “Freddy Frangelico. It’s nice to finally meet you both.”

  “Likewise,” Tommy said.

  “The jury’s still out,” Lisa Marie added.

  “Ma!” Jinx cried. “Be nice!”

  “Why the hell is everyone telling me to be nice?!” Lisa Marie cried.

  “Looks like I just lost my title,” Helen said, entering the kitchen. “There’s a new Miss Congeniality in town.”

  “Aunt Helen,” Lisa Marie said. “You definitely are a sight for sore eyes. And ears.”

  The women hugged and only stopped because Joyce literally pried them off each other. “Don’t hog the hugs, Helen.”

  “Aunt Joyce,” Lisa Marie said as she breathed in Joyce’s perfume.

  “What about me?” Tommy asked. “Am I not hug-worthy?”

  “Be careful what you wish for, mister,” Helen said.

  Soon Tommy was embraced by not one but two Ferraras as Helen and Joyce hugged him from either side.

  “It’s good to see you all again,” Tommy said.

  Alberta noticed that he was fighting back tears, but her daughter had remained stoic. She couldn’t judge her; Alberta knew better than to do that because it had taken her years to allow the walls she had built around her heart to melt away. Hopefully the same would happen for her daughter. For now, however, Lisa Marie was all business.

  “I’ve heard that the four of you have become pretty good amateur detectives,” Lisa Marie announced.

  “They might not have badges, but I don’t know if you can call them amateurs any longer,” Vinny said. “The same can’t be said for Lana and Nicholas Goldschmidt.”

  “Sorry, Vinny,” Lisa Marie said. “I wasn’t sure we’d be welcomed with open arms.”

  “Then you, little girl, are not as smart as you used to be,” Vinny said.

  When Vinny embraced Lisa Marie, Alberta had to turn away and stare out the window because she didn’t want her daughter to see her crying. Lisa Marie had come here for help in finding her son, not to have an emotional homecoming with her mother. When she saw Sloan and Father Sal walk past her kitchen window, she knew that God had answered her prayers. Sentimentality would have to take a back
seat; there was about to be a showdown.

  “Lisa Marie, Tommy,” Alberta said. “This is Sloan.”

  “Please tell me your boyfriend’s the one without the white collar,” Tommy said.

  “Alberta may be a mighty temptress,” Father Sal said. “But as you can see from my wardrobe, I am otherwise engaged.”

  Smiling, Sloan extended his hand to Tommy, who graciously took it. “Very nice to meet you, Tommy.”

  Sloan turned to the unsmiling face of the woman standing next to Tommy. “So nice to meet you too, Lisa Marie.”

  He reached out to shake Lisa Marie’s hand, but she kept her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her lips were pursed, her body tense, and her eyes glaring. Her disapproval of her mother’s boyfriend was not subtle. After a few awkward seconds, Sloan dropped his arm to his side, but somehow managed to maintain his smile. Alberta couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t call attention to the frosty situation, but luckily, her sister had no qualms stating the obvious.

  “Dai nemici mi guardo io, dagli famiglia mi guardi Iddio,” Helen said.

  Alberta thanked God again, this time for two blessings. First, she was grateful that Lisa Marie never really listened to her parents, which meant her knowledge of the Italian language was profoundly limited. And second, that no one asked Helen to translate. Her comment, an odd Italian proverb, essentially meant that a person could protect himself from his enemies but needed God’s help to protect him from his family. Truer words had never been spoken in any language. Luckily, Alberta knew the one universal language that everyone understood: food.